♠︎ thirty

author's note:

some of y'all are SO worried after the last chapter 😭 don't worry, i know you hate angsty love triangles. I KNOW. i hate the lil teeny-bopper dumb ass love triangles in most stories too. but this is MY story. and have i ever led you astray before? no. 

just trust your mama. all will be well in the end. 

your tmi for the day is that this chapter is being written in dublin airport as i get ready to fly back to london. i used to live in dublin, and being here always makes me think of the song 'seoul' by joonie, about how you can hate and love a city at the same time. i love dublin as a place, but i hate a lot of the memories i have here. does anyone else get like that or am i just rambling?

anyway enough talk. here's your update!

BORAHAE bagels 💜

CHAPTER THIRTY

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♠︎ JUNGKOOK

Jungkook found you a few hours too late.

He had gone back to join the group when you wandered off with Tae, losing himself in conversations with Hobi and his girlfriend, Juli, as the sun started to disappear. He didn't see you come back, but after a while he was aware that you were around; he figured you were with Nia, or Yoongi maybe. 

He stifled a yawn, realising it was nearly midnight. Jungkook wasn't drinking but everyone around him seemed far too inebriated all of a sudden, and he thought about calling a night. He made to get up from his seat in the warm sand, and spotted you coming towards him.

"Kookie!" you cried out with arms wide, clearly thrilled to see him, and Jungkook's heart unfurled for just a second at how cute you were - until you stumbled sideways in the sand, nearly losing your balance altogether.

Jungkook spied the nearly empty bottle of rum in your hand, and his gut twisted with worry.

"How much have you had to drink?" he replied, standing to meet you, and was met with your body crashing into his, arms going around his shoulders to stabilise yourself. 

"A bit," you giggled, and Jungkook saw the familiar dazed shine in your eyes. 

Yeah, you were wasted. 

The question was - why? In all the time Jungkook had been here with you, he hadn't seen you in any state past tipsy. You didn't strike him really as a big drinker.

He remembered your last conversation, what he'd sent you off to do. His chest tightened.

"Did something happen with Tae?" he asked you now, but you wouldn't answer him. You gazed at him with a puzzled look, as if trying to work something out. For a moment he thought you might tell him - but you seemed to change your mind.

"Wan' talk to Nia," you slurred at him, gripping Jungkook's shoulders hard for balance. "Or Yoongi. Can't find 'em, Kookie."

Jungkook glanced around. He couldn't spy either of your friends in the group of people still gathered on the beach; Yoongi had gone back to the house a while ago now, and he suspected Nia was with Namjoon.

"They're not here," he told you gently, and your face crumpled in disappointment. If Jungkook didn't know better, he'd have thought you were about to cry, and something dull ached in his stomach at the thought. "Yoongi is at the house. Shall we go find him?"

You nodded, letting him wrap an arm around your waist as you stumbled a little in his grip. He eased the rum bottle from your hand, casting it aside, and feeling your fingers trembling as they met his.

Fuck, you were so wasted. How did Jungkook not notice you getting this drunk? Had no one been watching you? Where was Taehyung? A mixture of guilt and anger swirled inside him as he held you close to his side, beginning an unsteady path back to the house.

"Les' go to bed, Kookie," you hiccuped adorably beside him. "You promised me... n' I did it. Talked to Tae."

Jungkook laughed aloud at what you were demanding. He couldn't believe you were still expecting him to have sex with you when you were this wasted.

"Not tonight," he said, seeing the pout you were shooting him. "You're too drunk, little one."

"M'not that drunk," you huffed, and Jungkook had to conceal a smile at how stubborn you were even when inebriated.

"Yeah, okay. Try and walk in a straight line then," he challenged, letting go of your waist. He realised his mistake instantly; you crumpled, clearly unable to even stand without assistance.

"Woah, okay, I'm sorry," Jungkook soothed, pulling you back upright, seeing the distressed look on your face and feeling guilt pool in his stomach. "Sorry, baby. I shouldn't have done that."

The distress on your face dissolved instantly at his nickname for you. "You called me baby," you hummed, pressing a finger into his chest haphazardly. "You want me."

Jungkook grinned at you again. "Keep it in your pants, woman," he warned lightly. "Now are you gonna tell me why you're so drunk, or not?"

You sniffed, shrugging. "Jus' felt like it."

"I don't believe you," he replied. But you had fallen quiet now, staring into the distance, and Jungkook didn't feel like pushing you when you were like this.

It took a while to get you back to the house, only to find more bad news; Yoongi wasn't there. Jungkook wasn't sure where he'd find him, and felt panic twist a little in his gut. Should he leave you here and go find Yoongi, or just deal with you himself? He wasn't used to being the decision-maker in these situations; he had six hyungs who did that for him. 

But you were still swaying lightly by his side, sniffling a little, and he had to make a choice on what was best for you.

"Yoongi's not here," he told you, leading you to the stairs. "C'mon. I'll help you into bed."

Your eyes lit up, and you clapped your hands in a way that Jungkook struggled not to find adorable. "Yay!"

"Not like that, you horndog," he rolled his eyes, taking your hand and placing it on the bannister at the stairs to hold on to. "God, drunken you is so freaky."

You turned to shoot him a grin over your shoulder which he thought you meant to be sexy, but he could only find ridiculously cute. "You loooooove it," you teased.

"No," he laughed, watching you trip over your own feet on the stairs. "Trust me, I'd much rather you were sober right now."

"Me too," you nodded, with more sobriety than he'd expected. Jungkook noticed you'd gone quiet again.

Yet again, he sensed that something terrible had happened with Taehyung. Had the conversation really gone that badly? He hated the idea of you and one of his closest friends arguing, and he felt awful for pushing you into doing it.

But clearly you were in no fit state to discuss it tonight. So Jungkook's mission was just to get you to bed, with a glass of water and a bowl for safety. He could quiz you about Taehyung tomorrow.

Luckily, your room was fairly close to the stairs, and Jungkook managed to get you there without too much trouble, plonking you down on the edge of the bed. 

"I'll get you some clothes to sleep in," he told you, turning to your chest of drawers and praying you kept some form of comfy clothes in there. 

"Kookie," you whined, gazing at him as he rooted through drawers. "I wanna shower."

He clicked his tongue, not turning around as he dug through your t-shirts. "No. Sleep this off, little one, and then you can shower tomorrow."

"But," you pouted, "I feel icky."

Jungkook made the awful mistake of turning around when you said this. You looked much smaller than he remembered sat at the end of the bed, hands wringing together anxiously, your big wide eyes pleading with him.

He didn't think he would ever be able to resist those eyes.

"Okay, fine," he sighed in resignation, stopping his search. "A quick shower."

You didn't respond except with a lazy smile on your face, reaching your arms out to Jungkook for him to lift you. Jungkook's heart nearly stopped.

Shit, he thought. That was too cute.

Once he'd helped you to the bathroom door, he set you on your feet. "You be okay on your own?" he asked, concerned.

You scoffed at him. "Pfft. Soun'slike someone wants t'shower wi'me...."

Jungkook huffed. How were you managing to play the brat even in this state? 

"I'll just wait here," he informed you, wandering back to your bed - but the minute he did, he heard an almighty crash, and raced back to the bathroom.

You were rubbing your shoulder with a sheepish smile. "Dint realise th'shower door was closed," you giggled.

Jungkook realised that he really had no choice here, if he couldn't leave you alone for two seconds without you walking into doors. He was going to have to help.

"Okay, I'm doing this because I don't want you to fall and break your neck," he told you sternly. "Take your clothes off."

"Yes, sir," you said in a mockingly sexy voice, stripping off your dress and underwear with surprising deftness considering how drunk you were. It was only how brazenly ready you were to be naked in front of him that told him you were still wasted.

Jungkook froze at the sight of you.

The sight of your bare body in front of him should have made him throb with desire, especially since he'd only seen it for the first time last night. And looking at you did make him want you with astounding force - but it wasn't overwhelming, like all of the other times he'd done this with you. Instead, he was more concerned than anything, with how much he needed to get you washed and safely into bed. He wanted to protect you, and not just in sex.

It was a new feeling. Something he didn't really want to think about too much.

"In," he pointed at the shower, realising it was best to just treat you like a misbehaving child right now. You obeyed in a drunken stumble, and Jungkook stripped off his shirt so it didn't get too wet, as he reached for the shower to turn it on. He stood at the door, just out of the spray of water, and you turned to face him, handing him the hair conditioner. 

"Do my hair," you demanded with a smirk, every inch the brat he'd come to know you as. "I'll do the rest."

"Alright, your majesty," he tutted, not even bothering to argue with you. "Turn around."

It was much easier for Jungkook to concentrate from here, when your tits weren't directly in his face.

You sighed a little as the water turned warm, and Jungkook swallowed hard and tried not to notice the way you were lathering body wash on. He focused on your hair, squeezing a fair amount of lotion out onto his palm.

He didn't really know what he was doing, but you were so drunk, he figured you wouldn't be correcting him on his hairdressing skills.

You stumbled a little to the side, grasping the shower door for balance, and Jungkook shot a hand out to catch you. "You okay?"

"M'fine and dandy, baby," you laughed, and then snorted at your own words. Jungkook couldn't help but laugh too.

"God, you're so wasted," he remarked. "How much rum did you drink?"

"Dunno. Bottle?" you shrugged. Jungkook was unsurprised. You smelled like you had bathed in a bottle of rum.

"And you really thought we'd still be fucking after you drank all that?" he raised an eyebrow at you, starting to lather the conditioner through the ends of your hair. "You're a maniac, woman."

"Maybe I jus' really love sex," you shot back, and though your back was turned, he knew you were grinning that wicked grin.

"Oh, so it's just sex you like, not me?" he pushed teasingly. Your hands had stopped now, the body wash rinsed off, and you were just waiting for him to finish with your hair.

"No. I like fucking you," you said candidly, as if you were talking about your favourite food, and not sleeping together last night, before you hummed in satisfaction as Jungkook's hands went to your scalp now. "Mm. S'nice, Kookie."

Jungkook felt his chest tighten a little at this reaction, and the way your hair ran smooth and damp between his fingers. 

"You like fucking me?" he pressed. He would never take advantage of a drunk person, but it couldn't hurt to dig for a little more information while you were loose-lipped.

"Mm," you nodded, eyes shut now with pleasure at having your hair washed. "You're good at it."

"Thanks," he chuckled, pushing you gently back under the water to wash out the conditioner. "So are you."

"M'not good at feelings though, Kookie. Fuck the feelings!" you smiled wide, throwing a wayward arm aloft like a battle cry. "S'what Nia says, y'know."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me," Jungkook said, thinking of Nia and how ruthless she was.

"But... I... don't think that, Kookie," you informed him, words slurring still. "I liked the feelings. Y'know. Las' night."

Feelings? Last night?

What were you talking about? Your words didn't make any sense. Could it possibly be Tae? But no - you were with Jungkook all night last night, in his bed.

But then, that would mean...

"What do you mean?" he pushed, heart in his throat. You turned to face him, and for a long moment you gazed back at him with a look of total vulnerability. Jungkook had a funny feeling you were about to tell him something momentous.

But the moment passed when you hiccuped and told him - "M'too drunk for this."

Jungkook felt disappointment throb in his stomach, but he knew you were right. You were too drunk for this conversation. He reached forward to shut the water off, resolving that he'd talk to you tomorrow.

"I thought you said you weren't drunk?" he teased, helping you out of the shower and reaching for his shirt, and a robe.

You shot him that fucking adorable grin, dripping wet and mischievous. "Oopsie. I lied."

He rolled his eyes at you. "C'mon. Time to sleep."

You whined at this, as if you were a child staying up past their bedtime, and when you pulled on the towel robe Jungkook offered to you, you shot away from him into the bedroom.

"Lesss watch a film!" you slurred excitedly, rolling into bed with clumsy limbs that Jungkook couldn't help laughing at. The moment of sober honesty from the shower had clearly passed.

Jungkook reached for the cup on your bedside table, realising it was already full of water, and handed it to you. "Drink," he said.

You did not listen. Instead, you pulled him down into the bed, reaching for the TV remote at the same time. As he hit the pillows beside you, Jungkook grumbled in annoyance, but kicked his shoes off anyway. To be honest, he didn't feel right leaving you alone when you were like this. 

"What do you want to watch?" he said, handing you the cup again.

"Princess n' the frog," you insisted. You hiccuped a little in the middle, but accepted the water Jungkook handed you. The way you sipped it reminded him of an overgrown toddler with a sippy cup. Several times, you missed the straw by a long way, tongue poking out to search for it.

He scrunched his nose at the suggestion. "Really?"

You rolled your eyes this time. "Ooooooh, m'Jeon Jungkook'n I hate princess films cuz m' a big stinky maaaaan," you drew out the last word, putting on a ridiculous imitation of his voice. 

"Stinky?" Jungkook raised an eyebrow at you. "Now we're definitely not watching that."

You giggled, pressing a finger to his lips. "Shhh, Kookie. Time for frog."

He tutted, swatting your hand away. "No frogs," he decided. If he knew you, you'd probably stay up for the whole film to make sure he was watching it, and Jungkook really wanted you to get some rest. "What about a Marvel film?"

You shrugged at him, seeming unfazed. "Never seen one," you announced, sipping the water again. 

"You've never seen a-" Jungkook paused, taking the remote from you and turning the television on. "Okay, we're watching Iron Man. It'll blow your mind, little one."

To his surprise, you didn't argue with him. Instead, you simply gazed at him over the rim of your cup, before you asked him a question that nearly sidelined him. 

"Can we cuddle?" you asked, in a voice that was more of a demand than a question.

Not that Jungkook would have turned you down anyway. He lifted an arm, letting you drop the cup onto your beside table and lean your head on his chest, throwing an arm out over his stomach. The smell of your freshly washed hair and the warm linen scent of your robe caught him, and his chest tightened once more as his hand came to rest in the small of your back.

What the fuck was happening to him this evening? He was supposed to want you sexually, not like this. His pants were supposed to tighten, not his chest. 

He felt like he needed to get out of this situation, and clear his head a little. Once she's asleep, he promised himself. Once she's asleep, then you can go. 

The film began, and immediately you had questions.

"Who's that?" you asked, as Robert Downey Junior appeared on the screen. Jungkook couldn't help but smile at your drunken curiosity.

"That's Tony Stark," he explained. "He's the main character."

You slapped his stomach. "No, doofus. Iron man is th'main character."

Jungkook just laughed, patiently explaining to you that they were the same people. You had a million other questions after this, and Jungkook answered them all, just happy that you were safe and in bed, and seemingly unlikely to vomit all over him. 

But something lingering in the back of his mind, unspoken. He wanted to know what had happened with Taehyung, but he didn't want to upset you when you were so inebriated, so he continued to explain the film to you in a quiet murmur, feeling you relax further into him as he did. 

After a while, he fell quiet. He thought you might be asleep, and he watched the movie idly as he stroked your back - but then you spoke again a few minutes later.

"Taehyung loves me," you mumbled, words vibrating against Jungkook's chest.

He felt as if the words turned into knives, and sheathed in his ribs.

"He told you that?" Jungkook asked, heart pounding, feeling your small nod against him. "Oh."

"I don't feel th'same," you mumbled now, words still a little slurred. "But'm confused, Kookie."

Jungkook could only imagine. After all, your feelings for Taehyung had never really been resolved. Did this mean you wanted to go back to him?

The thought was too sharp and intense fo him to even linger on right now.

"Let's talk about it tomorrow," Jungkook reached a hand down and stroked the back of your head, feeling you hum in appreciation. "Okay?"

"Okay," you sighed contentedly against him and said no more, leaving Jungkook alone with a mind full of racing thoughts.

Taehyung told you he loves you.

Which meant Taehyung wanted you back.

When Jungkook had suggested you talk to Tae, it was out of genuine concern and care for you both as his friends. He wanted you to be happy, and seeing you solve this long-running issue was sure to put your mind at ease. It had never clicked that in doing so, he was leading you right back into his friend's arms. 

You said you didn't feel the same, but you were confused. Clearly, you still felt something for him - and either way, the thought of you and Taehyung together felt like an awful nightmare to Jungkook.

He'd made a terrible mistake.

Something deep and intense was swelling in his chest as your breathing evened out against him, slipping into sleep before the film even really got going. But even Jungkook had forgotten about the film and his running commentary now. 

He knew what this feeling was. It was difficult to deny it any more. He couldn't look at anyone else when you were in a room. He wanted to be near you all the time. He hadn't spared Yoora more than a passing thought in weeks. And now this; a well of jealousy at the thought of you and Taehyung together.

It was time he faced the truth. 

Jungkook wanted you all to himself. 

But he had a horrible feeling that he'd realised it just hours too late.

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