Drunken Words, Sober Thoughts

As soon as I got out of my car, I knew I was out of place. I mean school was school, everybody had to go…so I didn’t really feel too self conscious there.

But this was a party. They could say or do anything here. I felt like I was intruding or something.

“Scar!” I heard my name being called from across the pier. I turned to see Alec standing on the beach grinning, a beer in his hand. I locked my car and walked through the groups of people, dancing and talking.

Music blared from multiple sound systems. A cooler was open, full of ice and alcohol. All the girls, who were dressed in even less than what they dressed in for school, grinded upon guys who were making it known that they planned on sleeping with them tonight.

So this was how South Pacific partied.

I walked down the beach, closer to the shore and met Alec. He wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me in for a close hug.

“I’m so happy you made it.” He smiled. And by the look on his face, he did look genuinely happy. His dirty blonde hair swept across his forehead as usual, his eyes looked a little glossy, most likely from the beer.

Nonetheless, he looked hot as usual.

“Want anything?” He asked. I looked towards the other people, who all had a drink in their hand. I shrugged.

“Sure, get me whatever.” I replied. Alec nodded, giving me a smile before disappearing into the crowd.

“Hey! You’re here!” A loud, excited voice said from behind me. I whirled around to see Lea standing there.

“Lea!” I said, relieved to see a face I recognized other than Alec’s.

“I figured you’d be on the other side of the pier.” Lea laughed, pointing down the beach where I hadn’t looked until just now. I could vaguely see a bonfire and people dancing as well.

It looked just like the party I was at now…just different people that were to far away for me to make out.

“Who are those people? Are they from school?” I asked curiously. Lea nodded, her eyes widening at my question.

“That’s Harry’s crowd of people.” She said. I raised my eyebrows.

“Oh-”

“Here you go.” Alec’s voice said, his arm wrapping around my waist as he placed a beer in my hand. I grinned at him with gratitude before taking a gulp, enjoying the taste.

Sure, I had gone to North Pacific my whole life, but I still was no virgin to alcohol.

“Hey Lea,” Alec gave her a nod, making her blush and give a small wave. For a South Sider, Lea was so innocent it made me like her even more.

“Well, I’m going to the other pier, so if you need me just walk down.” Lea whispered as she passed me. I nodded, but knew I wouldn’t go down to Harry’s side if my life depended on it.

~~~ 2 hours later, I was in the crowd, dancing up on Alec. I had another glass in my hand and honestly, I had lost track.

My mind felt hazy and my head felt heavy. I was drunk. It usually didn’t take me a lot to get a little hazy, but I was passed that now.

Alec seemed to be pretty gone too, but probably not just as gone as I was considering it took more to get him drunk.

His hands were on my waist, my back to him as we swayed to the music, occasionally turning to look at each other and steal glances. It felt good.

My thoughts weren’t on Harry anymore or on my parents. I felt as if the people around me had warmed up to me. They weren’t staring at me as much anymore, or talking about me.

The song faded away and Alec grabbed my hand pulling me out of the crowd. We started walking down the beach, away from the rest of the party and in the opposite direction of ‘Harry’s’ party which was still in full swing.

We walked down the shore, the ocean coming up in waves, barely grazing my feet. I felt the sand sink in between my toes and sighed. I swayed, feeling as if there was a ride I was on.

Damn, I was drunk.

“Woah there.” Alec said, bracing me as I started leaning to the side. “Maybe that last drink wasn’t a good idea.” He laughed, running a hand through his hair.

“I’m fine.” I replied, waving him off. He looked at me and laughed.

“You keep surprising me, Scar.” He said quietly.

“How?” I asked.

“When I first met you, I thought you’d be quiet and I don’t know…awkward. Maybe not awkward. Just snobby, I guess.”

I laughed quietly.

“But I’m not?”

“The way you snapped at me on the first day,” Alec shook his head and laughed. “How you danced out there, you actually came to the party. And how you jumped in between me and Harry yesterday…”

I winced at the mention of Harry’s name, which I had tried to block from my head.

“I guess I’m just full of surprises.” I muttered, making Alec chuckle. The wind started to blow and I felt a chill hit my arms. I didn’t realize until now, but I was actually a bit cold as goosebumps hit my arms.

“Come here.” Alec said, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me in like he was protecting me from the wind. We stood like that for a while, me trying to gain my thoughts and Alec, well, I’m not sure what he was thinking.

I leaned back, so I could look at Alec. He was looking out into the ocean, his bottom lip in between his teeth as if in thought. His eyes scanned the ocean before dropping down and looking at me. He smirked as he caught me staring at him.

“You’re staring.” His low voice rumbled. I giggled and remained silent. His eyes were still on mine and it was as if I couldn’t look away.

He opened his mouth a bit, before closing it again. And then he leaned down slowly.

He’s not going to kiss me, I assured myself. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. This won’t happen. I kept assuring myself.

But then, it did happen. He leaned down slowly, pressing his plump, pink lips to mine. They were warm and he tasted sweet and of alcohol. My mind didn’t register what I was doing as I kissed him back softly.

I swear the only thing that was keeping me up on my feet was his arms wrapped around me.

Suddenly I pulled back.

“I-” I stuttered. I pulled back, out of his embrace. No. I wasn’t supposed to kiss Alec. “I have to go.”

“Wait, Scarlet, I-” I cut Alec off as I turned and ran down the beach, past the party and through the crowd. I kept doing down the shore until I was out of breath and couldn’t run anymore.

Alec was out of site, and the party was a blur behind me. I continued walking down, the sand shifting underneath my feet.

I kept replaying the last five minutes in my head, over and over again.

Why did he kiss me?

Why did I let him?

Me and him were friends. I knew him a week. Was that all I was to him? Did he think I was just some girl he could kiss when I was drunk?

I felt angry at him and myself.

I was interrupted out of my thoughts as someone yelled my name. I looked up from my feet and cocked my head to the side.

I turned to see Zayn.

Oh shit.

I looked around to see that I had been so out of it and drunk that I had walked into Harry’s party past the second pier. This was the last place I should be right now.

“Looks like you’re on the wrong side of the pier, princess.” Zayn sneered as he took a hit off of what looked like a blunt. I swallowed, my breath catching in my throat. I was frozen.

“Leave her alone Zayn.” a voice called. I turned to see Harry there, sitting on the beach with a girl in between his legs. Then I recognized the girl. Brittany, from the first day. Who had all but made fun of me in front of my face.

But the question was, why was Harry defending me?

“Unless you’re here to try out some one from the Dark side.” He laughed menacingly and bluntly checked me out.

“You wish.” I snapped. He stopped laughing and walked towards me. People’s eyes were on me, and I saw Harry rise from his seat behind Brittany.

“You think you’re so much fucking better than the rest of us?” Zayn’s voice rose loudly and I didn’t have time to even recoil back as Harry stood in front of me, pushing Zayn’s chest hard.

“Get out of her face Zayn.” He growled.

“She acts like we’re trash or something on the bottom of her fucking brand named shoe, Harry.” Zayn roared, pointing to me. His eyes were on fire and I wasn’t sure if I had ever been so scared.

“Back the fuck up before I do something I regret.” Harry yelled back, and I knew if I was Zayn, I would definitely back down. Harry was scary.

“Whatever.” Zayn mumbled, putting his blunt back up to his mouth and walking away, not without giving me a glare first.

Harry turned to me and I all but whimpered at the site of him. My heart was just now returning to a healthy speed. I truly think Zayn may have beat me up or killed me if he hadn’t saved me.

Harry grabbed my hand and brought it up to his lips, brushing my knuckles across his soft mouth.

“You alright angel?” He asked. My eyes trained on his lips, and then back up to his green eyes. I nodded dumbly, my words seeming to slip away.

Harry grabbed my arm and pulled me along the beach, not in the direction of Alec, but the opposite way. We went through the crowds of people at the party until we were a distance away.

Harry kept walking ahead of me, not stopping until we were far enough away from everybody that it was quiet and calm. He sat down on the sand so the ocean just reached the tips of his feet whenever it came up.

He patted the seat next to him and I sat down, instantly feeling better than I had a few seconds earlier.

“Are you okay?” He asked me after a few moments of silence. His hair was disheveled and I could see smeared lipstick on his neck, no doubt from Britney. It made me feel sick.

“I’m fine, I’m just a little, uh-” I stumbled over my words, searching for the right one.

“Drunk?” He asked, smirking.

“I’m not drunk.” I protested, standing up. Harry looked at me with an amused expression and I had the urge to grab him and kiss it off.

“What are you doing Angel?”

“The straight line test.” I mumbled as I tried to walk in a straight line, but embarrassed myself even more as I stumbled a bit to the left and gave up. I sighed loudly and sat back down next to Harry, who was biting his lip to hide the smile appearing.

“I’d try to say my Abc’s backwards, but I know there’s no way in hell that’s happening.” I mumbled truthfully. Harry threw his head back and laughed.

I tended to be a very blunt and truthful person when I was drunk.

“You must have walked a long time to get all the way down from the Northside Pier to this one.” Harry commented once he had stopped laughing. If I had been sober, I probably would have just lied and nodded along.

But, I wasn’t sober.

“Oh I didn’t come from the Northside Pier.” I replied. The Northside Pier was about 3 miles down the beach, it was the ‘rich kids’ beach. But most of the rich kids would rather party in a mansion than a beach, so it wasn’t used very often.

“Where did you come from?” Harry asked confusedly.

“The pier right down the beach, Alec’s party.” I said as I traced designs in the grainy sand.

“Woah, what? Alec took you to a South Side party?” Harry asked. I cringed as I heard the sudden hardness in anger in his voice. I knew he was probably mad at Alec, not me, but still. Harry was scary when he was mad.

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked innocently. At the moment, I really didn’t know what was wrong with it.

“Damn, Scarlet, these things get rough. There isn’t a person here that isn’t drunk or high off their ass. Why the hell would you come here? Are you really that damn naïve?” He asked, each word getting louder and louder.

I felt my eyes cloud up and tear at Harry yelling at me as if I was a child. I was already a bit hazy, he didn’t need to make matters worse.

As soon as Harry saw the hurt and sad look on my face, his eyes softened within seconds.

“I’m sorry, Angel.” He said quickly, grabbing my hand. “I shouldn’t hav-”

“No,” I snapped my hand back from his tight grip and shook my head. “You need to stop letting your temper out on me, Harry. I don’t know if everybody else let’s you yell at them like that, but I won’t.”

I got up from my seat on the sand and walked towards the ocean, so that my ankles were in the salty water. It felt calming, the breeze, the waves splashing my legs.

I had been at South Pacific a week and already I was in a mess.

Alec thought I was some girl he could just go and kiss whenever he pleased, knowing me a week.

And then Harry, one minute he was sweet and kind, the next he was screaming at me.

I couldn’t help but think I had gotten myself into more than I could handle.

*Harry’s Point of View*

I sat there in the sand, looking down the beach at Scarlet who was standing ankle deep in the ocean. Even drunk, she looked beautiful.

Her blue eyes were glazed over, but even bluer. Her cheeks were tinted a bit pink, like a permanent blush.

Her blonde hair had messy beach waves that went down her back and flew in the wind. Her shorts showed off her tiny, but long, toned legs.

All I could think was that she was perfect.

And I never thought that.

I felt like shit, honestly. I had snapped on her twice today, and the second time she really didn’t deserve it. My anger was toward Alec, not her. He was just so damn selfish and immature.

Scarlet was a baby compared to the rest of us at South Pacific. These parties had gang members even worse than me. And that was saying something. Drug deals went on, worse than weed. Drinks got spiked, guys took advantage, and girls sometimes ended up in a place they had never been before.

The thought of that happening to Scarlet made me sick. A guy taking advantage of her literally made me want to punch something. Some fuck up would try to have her, but she deserved so much better.

No doubt, she deserved better than me. I was no better than every other fuck up at South Pacific. I was worse. But I wouldn’t let anybody hurt her. That was a different story.

Even the bet aside, I wouldn’t want her to get hurt.

Sure, I had known her a week yet, I knew there was so much more to her than met the eye. That sounded so damn cliché, yet described Scarlet perfectly.

I stood up and patted the sand off of me, walking up to Scarlet slowly. She remained motionless as I wrapped my arms around her torso slowly from behind, but I did feel her lean back on me slightly, and found a small smile on my face.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered in her ear. “I just don’t want to see you get hurt. As much of a dick I can be, I do care about you Scarlet. I was just mad that Alec brought you here.”

She whimpered quietly in reply and I knew I was forgiven. It hurt my heart, to see her look so broken. I wanted to know why she looked so sad.

At school, or whenever, she plastered a look on her face. But her here, now, she was drunk and an open book. Her emotions were out. She wasn’t giving me any snide or sarcastic remarks. She wasn’t her feisty personality.

She looked broken, innocent, and lost.

Somehow, it made my whole idea of how perfect she was, even better. She could snap at me and have an attitude with me one moment, but in another she would still be her same innocent self.

“Want me to take you home?” I asked. I lifted up the hem of her t-shirt, slowly tracing circles on her flat, soft stomach.

“Anywhere but there.” She said, turning to look at me. And then I understood. Something had happened, or had been happening at her house.

“You want to come over mine?” I asked, without a thought. I cringed after it left my mouth, expecting her to scoff and decline it within a second.

But I swear her eyes brightened as she nodded eagerly, a small smile gracing her lips. I grinned and pressed a sloppy kiss to her cheek, grabbing her hand and leading her to the beach parking lot.

It was well past midnight and the party was still going hard. As we passed through the people I made out Britney, who was staring at me, well more at Scarlet than me.

I didn’t blame her for being pissed at me honestly. I had hooked up with her tonight just to drop her on her ass for Scarlet. Not that that was anything new.

“Wait, are you driving us?” Scarlet asked, cocking her head to the side. I unlocked my beat up car and helped her in.

“That’s kind of how this works, Angel.” I laughed quietly.

“Didn’t you drink tonight?” She asked as I helped her get into the car. She cocked her head innocently and watched as I clicked her seatbelt in for her.

“I wasn’t here long enough to drink.” I muttered before walking around the car.

I had gone straight to the address that Mark and Jay had given me, gun in hand, to get the money from the man that owed them. I had all but beat him senseless until he told me he’d have the money by Monday.

That was a day later than Mark and Jay wanted, but it was the best I could do. I couldn’t use the gun on him. I knew Mark would’ve been disapointed in me, but I just…couldn’t.

After cleaning the blood from my hands, literally, and changing out of my stained clothes, I came to the party. Britney latched onto me as soon as I got there and I decided not to fight it. Less than half an hour later, Scarlet stumbled down to our side of the beach.

“I feel sick, Harry.” Scarlet said quietly as she held her stomach. I pulled the car over to the side of the rode as Scarlet jumped out and I heard her empty her stomach onto the street. I winced at her heaving and coughing, hating to hear her in pain.

I jumped out of the side of the car and held her hair back, rubbing her back lightly. After a few minutes of her just leaning over, catching her breath, she stood up.

“I’m sorry.” She said, biting her lip and looking at me with big eyes. She looked ashamed and scared almost, like I was going to yell at her.

I felt guilty. She was scared of me because of how I had snapped on her today. I was such a dick.

“Angel.” I whispered, shaking my head. “Don’t apologize. Come on, let’s get you to my house.”

She jumped back into the car and laid her head against the cold frosted window, a small smile on her face as she watched me drive. I couldn’t help but smirk as I caught her multiple times.

Finally I turned into my empty driveway, my mom must’ve had an all night shift tonight. And since it was Friday, my brothers were most likely at their friends house.

Which meant I had an empty house to me and Scarlet.

I led her into the house, unlocking the door and bringing her in. I led her into my tiny room, a medium sized bed and not much else.

She threw her hair up into a messy bun, and looked up at me, smiling shyly.

“Do you want to change? You can borrow something…” I trailed off. For some reason, I suddenly found myself a little nervous. I didn’t want to push Scarlet to far and have her shoot me down.

“Please.” She nodded, as I saw her turn her phone off and throwing it on my old, beat up dresser. I grabbed a t-shirt and sweats, handing them to her. I stood there watching her and she rolled her eyes.

“I’m not exactly sober, but I’m not changing in front of you Harry.” I laughed quietly before nodding.

“I’ll go get you some water,” I chuckled before going to the kitchen and getting two cups and filling them with water.

I went back to my room and knocked on the door quietly. Scarlet opened it. She wore my baggy t-shirt, and sweatpants. She grinned and grabbed the water from me.

She had sobered up considerably since the past hour but wasn’t back to her full self yet.

I watched as she got into bed, laying on the right side. I shifted uncomfortably from my right foot to my left. I wasn’t really sure what to do.

I went and grabbed my pillow and a blanket that sat at the bottom of the bed. I could feel Scarlet’s eyes on me as she watched me.

“What are you doing?” She asked curiously.

“I was going to go sleep on the couch…” I trailed off, pointing outside my door. Scarlet furrowed her eyebrows, her expression looking sad. She looked lonely.

“Sleep with me.”

That was all it took. I dropped the pillow next to her and climbed in. Our legs tangled together instantly as we faced each other. I propped my head up on my hand as I looked at her, her blue eyes watching me.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked quietly. It was as if I could see her mind just going and thinking.

“I did something I wish I could take back.” She whispered truthfully. Her blonde hair was falling out of her pony tail and sprawled out on the pillow.

“What did you do?” I asked. She sighed, lifting her hand and tracing circles on the back of my hand.

“I don’t want you to get mad.” She whispered, meeting my eyes.

“I won’t get mad.” I said, nervous to what she was going to tell me.

“Promise?” She asked.

“Promise.” I assured her. She continued tracing designs on my skin, the pads of her soft fingers going over my rough hands.

“I let Alec kiss me tonight once I was drunk.” She said, laying her head back down on the pillow and shifting towards me slightly.

I felt my blood boil, my jaw clench, and my fists tighten. She was right. It pissed me the hell off and I had to restrain myself from getting up out of bed to beat the shit out of Alec.

First he takes her to a South Side party, and then he takes advantage of her? Hell, I had a fucking bet on the line, yet I wasn’t trying to get into Scarlet’s pants tonight.

I felt jealous and annoyed and furious. I could tell Scarlet knew I was angry, but trying to hide it, when she grabbed my hand.

“Why do you regret it then?” I asked stiffly. Alec was a piece of shit. I hated him. I hated everything about him. He was a selfish bastard that didn’t deserve to even breath the same air as Scarlet.

But she apparently liked him.

The thought made my chest tighten.

“It should have been you.” She replied.

And just like that, my anger was gone. My mood was lifted immediately. Scarlet didn’t even realize the effect she had on me.

She acted like what she had just said didn’t mean anything and wasn’t a big deal, as she just turned around and scooted closer to me.

“I’m tired.” She mumbled. I found my arm snaking around her waist, her hand holding mine in the front.

I kissed the back of her neck lightly.

“Night Angel.”

And that was when I knew. Scarlet was my innocence. She was the innocence that was going to save me from myself. Because god knows, I needed to be saved.