7

Zayn

Monday morning had come quicker than I wanted and I was back at work, typing away. Hiring Ryder would've made this portion of my life so much easier but I know in the end, we made the right decision.

Her working here just wouldn't have worked in the long run. After she left that night, I smoked so much I was dead to the world the next day. Ignored my mates, siblings and even Claire when she came buzzing.

Just another conversation with Ryder that didn't end how I wanted it. I really need to get my shit together and figure out what I want so I can be more certain and assertive in these conversations.

Was I ready to just jump back in with Ryder?

No.

It took me forever to work through those feelings after our breakup.

But I'm not ready to rule her out yet. And I'm sure she hasn't ruled me out, I mean why else would she get so upset about me seeing Claire if there weren't still feelings there?

I really just need an evening with her where she's comfortable enough to let those walls down and be up front with me. I don't see it happening anytime soon, but if I go about it the right way, I'm sure we'll get there.

One thing for certain, I need to keep my distance from Claire when she's around. Which is going to be a challenge but I just need to have a one on one with Claire and assert some boundaries.

This dalliance was never supposed to leave the bedroom. The possessiveness needs to stop, especially when there's nothing to possess.

My phone rings, pulling me from my thoughts and I glance down at the caller ID.

Cooper Fitz

Cooper was returning my call rather quickly, which leaves me to think he has good news. I called a couple contacts first thing this morning to inquire about positions for Ryder. Cooper is head of HR for a company named Stratix, that focuses on data science and analytics for other companies. They were one of my top picks for Ryder just from the fact that they're always expanding and looking for new hires. Cooper himself is directly responsible for all of the new hires and onboarding so I'm hoping he is able to help her. I quickly answer it and bring the phone to my ear.

"Cooper, thanks for returning my phone call so quickly. How are you today?"

"Oh Zayn,  you're welcome. It's a little busy over here today but it's to be expected on a Monday. How are you?" He greets.

"Same, I've got so much paperwork and emails to sort through I'll probably have to work through lunch."

"That's rough. You still haven't found an assistant yet?", Cooper ponders.

"No, I think Priya said they set up interviews for next week so hopefully we'll have the position filled within the next few weeks," I answer.

"That's good, hopefully for your sake. How can I be of assistance? You were pretty vague in your email," Cooper states.

"Right, I actually was wondering if you guys had any open positions at your office. I have someone who's looking for a job."

"Oh okay, yeah we actually have some data analyst positions open," Cooper replied.

"I was thinking more or less in terms of your department or administrative assistant."

"Yeah, we are looking for someone in HR, one of our employees just gave their two weeks. Is she qualified? Good with computers? Good interpersonal skills?" Cooper rounds off questions.

I nod and sit forward in my seat.

"Yeah, she has her bachelor's in psychology and art. She's worked in office environments before so I'm sure she'd do great. Very organized, adaptable and professional."

Cooper pauses and I can hear typing on the computer.

"Okay, she sounds great, honestly. Is there a reason you're not offering her the assistant job? She sounds like the type of employee you guys would need," Cooper asks.

"Um, it wouldn't be an appropriate decision I guess you could say," I state hesitantly.

"Oh, as in this is a woman you're seeing?" Cooper baits and I can feel his enthusiasm through the phone.

He always was one to love a little bit of gossip.

"No, not currently. She's an ex of mine but still a really close friend of the family. I can promise you, my opinion isn't biased. She's a really good worker, you won't regret giving her a shot," I assure him.

"Hm, okay. Email me her contact information and I'll send her a link to the application. Have her fill it out and I'll arrange some time this week for her to come in," Cooper instructs.

"Will do. Thank you so much, I appreciate your help."

"Of course, you have a great rest of your day and good luck with those emails. We'll talk soon," Cooper concludes.

I pull up Cooper's email and start to type in Ryder's information when I realize I should probably shoot her a text first.

Z: Good morning, hope you're good. Actually got a lead for you, do you mind if I forward your contact info?

She reads it pretty quickly and I see the chat bubble appear.

Ryder: Good morning, that was quick. Of course you can, thank you so much.

Ryder: May I ask what the job is?

Z: A position in HR for the company Stratix

Z:Pretty standard office work, good pay and benefits

Ryder: Awesome, you're a lifesaver. Thanks again. 😊

Ryder: obviously you have my number but this is my email 

Z:Perfect, I'll send it along. Let me know how it works out 😊

I'm forwarding her information to Cooper when there's a light knock on my door.

I glance up and my father pokes his head in the door.

"Hey, you have a moment?"

I simply nod and gesture for him to come in. I've definitely been avoiding him a bit since Friday night. I'm still annoyed by him offering Ryder the job without consulting with me. It put me in such a weird position.

"I had that meeting with Shakiro this morning via Skype. I thought you'd be there but you never showed," he remarks, annoyance in his voice.

"I had asked you about that meeting on Friday morning and you told me not to bother. So I didn't bother," I replied coolly.

I hit send on the email and turned my attention to him fully.

"Yes, but just because I told you not to bother doesn't mean you shouldn't have shown up. Shakiro loves you, you should've at least shown face," he insisted.

I sigh and sit back in my chair.

"So then why make it optional if it wasn't actually optional?"

"Because you were supposed to make the right call and you didn't," he states simply.

My jaw tightens and I clasps my hands together in my lap. Everything with my father was a test, whether he says it or not. A majority of the time, I passed these tests but I couldn't be bothered with this one. Not when I was still ticked off about this past weekend.

"I see, I'll be there for the next one."

His dark eyes observe me and he sits back in his chair to match my stance.

"Something else bothering you Zayn?"

"Yeah, actually. I wanted to know why you offered Ryder the PA position without talking to me about it first," I inquire timidly.

His brows furrow and he shifts in his seat.

"I didn't think I needed your permission to offer her the job, it is my company after all," He argues.

"Right, your company that you're grooming me to take over. And you're offering a position that directly reports to me, you didn't think it'd be courteous to maybe run it by me before you offer it?"

His expression softens and I can tell he is going to make light of this.

"It's not a big deal Zayn. Ryder was complaining about the job market and we had a position open, so I offered it to her. What would you have preferred I do?"

"I would've preferred you consulted with me first or even given me a heads up after you had left lunch. It had completely caught me off guard when she brought it up," I argued.

"Are you the reason she declined it? Come on Zayn, Ryder needs a job. We would have paid her well and you would've gotten a break from all of this...extra work."

I quickly shake my head.

"No, Ryder was going to decline the job either way. I think she just wanted my input on it."

"Which was what?" He coaxed.

"That it wasn't a good idea, it's not appropriate," I offer.

My father waves me off and furrows his brows again.

"You two are overthinking it. It's just business. It's not like you two are ever getting back together, trust me, she told me that much," he remarks.

His comment throws me a bit and I take a moment to recover. He uses my silence as an opportunity to continue.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think it would be an issue. It's said and done, she declined and so I'll be going forward with interviews next week. If you feel the need to be more involved, carve out time to sit in on these interviews with Priya. Otherwise, just leave the hiring to HR," he concludes.

I suppress a sigh and simply nod.

He rises from the seat and glances at the stack of paperwork on my desk.

"I'll let you get back to it. I'll see you on Sunday for family dinner."

I nod again.

"Yeah, enjoy your trip. I'll see you then."

I wait till he shuts the door behind him before I collapse back into my chair. I groan with frustration and pinch my nose as I don't feel any better after that talk.

Sure he apologized but I feel like he failed to see why it was wrong in the first place. Even if Ryder and I don't have a future, we have a past. And it sets a bad precedent for the company and employees if I'm hiring my ex girlfriends.

But I'm not even going to explain this to him because he should know. It's common sense and I'm not sure why he even offered it in the first place. My father never acts without reason, so I'm sure there was some ulterior motive behind it.

The rest of the day seems to drag, though I'm extremely busy with a shit ton of work, it feels like it'll never end.

On the way home, I grab some takeout from a Korean barbecue place as I'm too drained to cook and would prefer a relaxing night.

I eat my food rather quickly when I get home, hop in the shower for a nice refresh and end up sitting on my couch with a book in hand. There was nothing better to take my mind off of things than to dive into a good book.

But I'm only a few chapters in when my buzzer goes off. I pause what I'm doing and glance over at my door. Part of me is hoping it's Ryder again, but I know I wouldn't get lucky to have her pop up at my door twice in one week. I sigh and turn back to my novel, not wanting to be bothered by anyone else.

The door buzzes again and whoever it is holds it longer this time. Instantly irritated, I snap my book shut and grudgingly get up from the couch. I drag my feet to the front door, ready to give whoever was on the other side a piece of my mind.

I glanced through the peephole, not wanting to make the same mistake twice and groan when I see Claire on the other side.

I take a deep breath and open the door with my best attempt at a smile.

She's still in her work clothes, a sharp black blazer and tailored trouser. Our eyes meet just as her finger is about to press the buzzer again.

"Please don't, I have a headache," I groan.

Her hand quickly drops and she crosses her arms.

"Still feeling like shit, huh?" She inquired as she cocked her head.

Her bright eyes surveyed me and I shrugged.

"Yeah, I guess. I've had a long day," I respond.

"Same here, now are you going to let me in or what?"

She watched me expectantly and I sighed and stepped aside to let her in.

She walks past me, her heels clicking loudly on my hardwood floor and I wince. I really don't want to have to deal with her tonight. Now I've just got to think of the right way to say it without causing a fight.

She walks into my kitchen and plops down on the barstool. There's a moment where neither of us say anything and it feels awkward. Claire and I haven't really had a full conversation since Laila's engagement party. Obviously she never did end up coming home with me that night and I've been dodging her ever since. I know that's why she's here, I know where the conversation is going to go and I'm just not sure I have it in me to fight with her right now.

She cleared her throat and raised a brow at me.

"Are you going to offer me something to drink or what?"

I sigh and make my way towards the refrigerator.

"And can you not sound so annoyed that I'm asking you to be a gracious host? I know Miriam raised you better," She added with contempt.

I open the fridge and stare blankly past the water  as I debate telling her to leave after a comment like that. Instead, I grab her a water and close the refrigerator door. I turn and place it on the counter in front of her.

"I told you, I'm tired. And last time I checked, I didn't invite you over. You showed up unannounced," I reply dryly.

"Yeah, because whenever I try to make plans with you, you blow me off," she argues.

"Because I've had a long week. I'm essentially doing the job of two people and it's killing me Claire. I'm sorry if I don't have the energy to hit the bar with you and listen to your vapid friends chat shit about each other when the other isn't around."

Her eyes narrow and she lets out a sharp laugh.

"That's not- They're not- that's not even the point. I haven't been inviting you out to the bar, I've been trying to come see you per our arrangement Zayn," she protested

I furrow my brows at her and now it's my time to laugh

"Our arrangement?"

"Yeah, our arrangement. You know the one where I come over, we have a drink and then have sex. Have you developed amnesia over the last few weeks or something?"

"No I'm aware we have sex, but there was never an arrangement made where I have to answer my phone everytime you call so we can have sex. If I'm avoiding you, it's probably because I'm not in the mood currently. Do you think showing up here on my doorstep is really going to do anything? I don't want to be bothered right now Claire."

A sadness washes over her face briefly and then her eyes darken and the corners of her mouth dip down.

"I don't always come around for sex Zayn, we are friends, right? Maybe I just want to hang out or vent. Don't flatter yourself to think that's the only reason I come around anymore. The sex is good but it isn't that good," she sneers.

I let out an exhausted sigh and run my hands through my hair. I turn my gaze out the window as I think about how I want to respond.

Claire always does this. Once she feels hurt, she always got to attempt to hit you lower. She wants you to hurt more than she is at the moment. But in order for me to hurt more than she is, she's going to have hit me harder than that.

"Look, regardless of why you're here, I just don't want company right now, okay?" I attempt.

I hope she'll just leave it at that and go home.

But her gaze is still hard and steely.

"You know, you've been acting like this since she came back and I'm starting to believe she's the reason why. What'd she say to you? Did she say something bad about me?"Claire asks.

I groan and shake my head.

"What? No, Ryder has nothing to do with anything. We don't even talk about you," I defended.

"Sure you don't. I saw the way she looked at us when we were together, she clearly knows about us. I'm sure she had so much shit to say about it. She had to have because you went from calling me to hang out to now acting as if I don't exist. You're being such a shit friend right now, you know that?"

I sighed and made my way back over to the front door.

I heard her hop off the barstool and trail behind me.

"Why are you walking away from me? It's because I'm right, huh?"

"No Claire, I'm just not doing this with you right now."

We approach the door and she grabs my wrist and turns me around. My eyes widen as I look down at her grip on my wrist and back at her manic eyes. She seems a bit off, clearly this has been more stressful on her than I predicted. That or she has some other stressful shit going on in her life and is taking it out on me.

"No, you don't get to decide when this discussion is over. You can't keep avoiding the topic because you're too stubborn to admit I'm right. Every time that woman comes around, you switch up. It's like she's put some weird spell on you and you get tunnel vision. All that matters is Ryder, what Ryder wants and needs. The rest of your priorities take a back seat and I'm not going to let you make some-"

My patience has run out and I interrupt her.

"I'm sorry you're not going to let me? Let me what? I need you to understand we are friends, that is all. I do not answer to you, you do not control me or who I talk to. I am a grown ass man, I will befriend, date and fuck whoever I want to. I do not need your guidance or permission. Now as your friend, I'm asking you to leave, so that this conversation doesn't get any nastier than it has and we can have somewhat of a friendship left after it."

Claire stands eerily still in front of me as she watches me carefully. Her eyes are dark and cloudy, her jaw tight. She exhales and simply brushes past me. She disappears behind the door and the door slams behind her.

I'm frozen in place staring at the place she had just stood, trying to piece together what the fuck just happened. I'm going to give her some time to cool off and then I'm goin to reach out to her and end whatever arrangement she thinks we had. As she had said herself, the sex wasn't that good.

This has become more of a headache than it's needed to be.

I locked the door, put my phone on do not disturb and made my way back to the couch. I grabbed the book I had left on the coffee table and stared down at it. Any desire I had to read had completely went out the window after that. I just needed to light one up and disappear for a while.