Chapter One: The break up (How everything started)

I flattered my eyelids open trying to adjust my vision in the dark room. I extended my arm hoping to be greeted by her small figure snuggled next to me, but instead my hand trailled at the cold fabric of the sheets. I sat up rubbing my eyes as I tried to figure out what time it was.

"Perrie?" I called out, waiting for an answer.

Silence.

"Perrie?" I said louder this time. I rolled out of the bed and I lazily made my way downstairs. I saw her sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, her back facing me.

"Good morning." I greeted her and I peeked a small kiss on her cheek.

"Morning." She said flatly, continuing munching on a pancake bite.

"Please don't tell me you're still mad from yesterday. Pez, you know it's nothing. She was just a fan..." I signed and I reached out for the cupboard taking my favorite mug out pouring coffee. She stayed silent for a while before speaking.

"I think we should break up." She said sternly before looking up at me. My hands paralyzed at the sound of her voice causing the cup to fall. Hot coffee and glasses were all over the kitchen marble floor.

"What?" I asked hoping that I've misheard her words.

"You heard me." She said coldly and took a sip of her tea not flincing.

"This is stupid, Pez!" I took a step closer. "You know how fans are!"

"It's not about the fan, Zayn!" She raised her voice. "It's about me. I can't stand this anymore."

"What can't you stand? Me?!" I yelled at her.

"This whole thing. I'm dying in this relationship Zayn!I don't feel the same way anymore. My love for you it's over..." She mumbled the last words burying her face on her hands as a heavy sigh escaped her lips.

I stood there frozen not knowing how to react. Her last words, ripped my heart off. I felt a weight on my chest and my head was pounding. I wanted to scream but the words weren't forming. 

"I'm sorry Zayn..." She spoke without making eye contact with me. "It's the best for both of us."

"But I love you..." I mumbled finally finding the strength to form the words I've been meaning to say. I felt my vision becoming blurrier by the second as I blinked my tears away, not wanting to look vulnerable in front of her. 

She stood up taking a few steps closer to me before her hands cupped my face. She lifted her gaze looking at me as if she was studying my features and left a soft kiss in the corner of my mouth.

"I'm sorry, Zayn. It's the best for both of us." She whispered and stood on her tip toes resting her head on my forehead, our noses touching. My breath was caught on my throat as I closed my eyes trying to contain my emotions. 

"I'm sorry..." She kept whispering, her hot breath hitting my now dry lips.

"No!" I slapped her hands away. "You're not sorry!" I yelled pointing at her.

"Zayn, please don't act like that..." She said crossing her arms on her chest.

"Oh! And how am I supposed to act?" I said mimicking her voice. I took a few steps backwards as I began pacing up and down the room shaking my head. 

"When you relax, you'll understand why I'm doing this." She said calmly.

"Save it! I know why you did this. Like you said, your love for me is over." I wiped the tears that were forming in the corner of my eyes away. I stopped pacing fixing my gaze into her eyes. Her once vivid blue eyes were now lifeless, staring back at me emotionless. I was hoping she would say something to me, maybe even walking at me wrapping her arms around my neck and kissing me lovingly, telling me that she was sorry and she didn't mean any of this. Instead, she said nothing. She just walked out of the kitchen and went upstairs to the bedroom. I slowly made my way to the living room and I sat down on the couch, burrying my face to my hands sobbing. A few minutes passed by as I heard her soft footsteps down the stairway stopping right at my spot. I felt her soft hand on my bare shoulder, her touch sending shivers down my spine. I slapped it away and I wiped my tears quickly before clearing my throat.

"I packed my things." She said, voice stern and steady. "Again Zayn, it's the best for both of us. You'll understand in time." 

I said nothing. Instead I focused my gaze on the wall in front of me staring blankly at it, trying to hold back my tears. She stood there for a few momets, before taking her suitcase and walked towards the door opening it. She stood at the doorframe for a while looking back at me, waiting for me to speak or even react. I wanted to run at her, make her stay, plead her but I couldn't move. It felt like my feet were nailed on the ground and my muscles couldn't support my body to stand up, so I kept staring at the wall silently waiting for her to change her mind. A soft sigh escaped her lips and a few seconds later, she slammed the door shut.

Silence filled the empty house. I brought my knees to my chest and curled up like a ball as I laid down on the couch. My fists were on my face and I was crying my eyes out. Too many emotions were running throught my body, but all I could do was to stay here, helpless. Hours passed by me laying like drained by all the tears I've cried. I forced myself to stand up and go back to the kitchen cleaning up the mess I did earlier. As I dragged my feet back at the kitchen I saw the cup of her tea and the plate of the pancakes she was eating laying on the table. Without a second thought, I threw them across the wall letting out a loud scream. My feet stumbled on the glasses and blood was now running from my tanned skin. I collapsed on the floor and I began sobbing again.

I'm broken.

Niall's POV

I held Jasmine's hand as we walked over Zayn's door. I pressed the doorbell and restrained myself taking a quick glance towards my girlfriend who was standing next to me. A couple of minutes passed and I looked back at Jasmine knotting my eyebrows together; confussion taking over her features too.

"Do you think he's not here?" I asked her pressing the doorbell one more time.

"I don't think so. Maybe he's sleeping. I told you we should come later, Ni." She said holding the plastic bags with the take out breakfast.

"Zayn! Open the door, mate. It's us!" I shouted pounding the door. After a while the door swung open to reveal a crying mess Zayn. His eyes were red and puffy, he was only in his boxers and his left foot was bleeding.

"Oh my fuckin' God! Zayn what happened?" I asked worriedly and I rushed in, Jasmine following me. I took a quick glimpse around noticing a messy kitchen with broken glasses, food and coffee all over the floor. Bloody footsteps leading to Zayn's spot.

"Oh God." Jasmine said soflty and brought her hand to her mouth.

"Come on mate sit down." I said and I guided Zayn to the couch. "Jasmine go and clean this mess, please."

"Ok." She said and walked into the kitchen.

"Stay here. This needs to get cleaned up before it gets infected." I said and I sprinted to the bathroom grabbind the first aid kit. I rushed back to the living room and I knealed down infront of Zayn taking care of his bloody foot. He had no emotions. No feelings. He was just staring blankly to nowhere. As I was done cleaning hs wound, I wrapped his foot with a gaze carefully and I looked up at him. 

"Zayn what happened?" I asked shaking his arms softly trying to bring him back to the reality.

"She left." He said and shook his head. "She left."  He kept saying.

"Who left?" I asked again. "Perrie?"

"DON'T YOU EVER TELL HER NAME AGAIN!" He yelled at me and stood up. "EVER!"

"Ok! Ok! Calm down! Tell me what happened. Why she left?"

"She doesn't love me anymore. 'My love for you is over'. That's what she said." He spoke rubbing his forehead frustrated.

I remained silent looking at him not knowing what to say. I would have said 'Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine.' but useless, cliche words like these wouldn't take his pain away. I watched him as he plopped back down on the sofa, silently sobbing. Jasmine came out of the kitchen, slowly walking towards me as she kept her brown eyes glued at me.

"Everything's ready." She said and sat down next to Zayn.

"Thanks." Zayn mumbled in between sobs. 

"I think you should go and stay with Liam for a while. It'll make you feel better if you're around friends." She spoke, rubbing Zayn's back. 

"Thanks Jas, but I don't think that's a good idea..." Zayn spoke, his voice cracking.

"I think she's right, Zayn. Come on! We'll drop you off." I said and I stood up extending out my hand for him to grab it which he eventually did.

Zayn's POV

After Niall and Jasmine dropped me off Liam's flat, I walked down the hallway making my way towards his apartment door, Liam standing there smiling faintly at me. He didn't say a word he just gave me a tight hug before escorting me inside.

"It's ok." He whispered to my ear. "I know how it feels."

I sat down at the couch and Liam joined me aswell seconds later. After a few minutes of awkward silence and me staring blankly in front of me again, he finally spoke.

"People come and go in our lives, Zayn." Liam spatted. "But we have to stay strong and fight." He added and patted my back.

"How did you feel when Dani broke up with you Liam?" I looked up at him. He turned his gaze, staring at the floor. "Empty? Broken? Lost?" I raised my voice. "Cause that's how I feel!"

"You just need some time..." He mumbled without taking his eyes off the floor.

"No!" I shook my head. "I don't need time. I need her..." I stood up grabbing my jacket. "And what kills me the most, is that I'll never be able to have her again. Ever." I stormed out of Liam's house, slamming the door closed behind me.

I looked up at the grey sky starring at the thick dark clouds that were forming. A single drop of water fell right above my cheek trailing down my ushaved cheek, leaving me thinking that even the weather was fitting perfectly to my mood. I dragged my feet making my way to the nearest park and I sat down on a bench closing my eyes. Her face, her laugh, the moments we had together were keep playing in my mind causing a weak smile curve to my lips, but then her last words echoed in my head like a broken tape.

'I'm dying in this relationship Zayn! I don't feel the same way anymore. My love for you is over...'

Hot tears were now streaming down my face, not caring to control my emotions anymore. A loud lighting flashed, followed by a loud thunder echoing as the storm came, causing people running up and down the park in different directions. I just sat there not moving a muscle. At least now noone will notice me crying...

I'm alone.