23. Memories Without You Don't Exist

I knocked on his office door.

"Mr. Ambrose?" I said in a soft voice. "May I come in? I wish to speak to you."

"No you may not. Leave." I sighed. I had been expecting this.

"Please sir?"

"No."

"Come on. At least can I tell you what about?"

"No." I let out a groan and tried the knob. To my relief it was unlocked, so I opened and entered, shutting the door behind me. "Mr. Linton-!" he breathed, looking up at me.

"Save it." I said, and walked over to his little desk, standing in front of him. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That you... fancied me?"

"I? Fancy you?"

"Why yes! Is that not what you told me the other day? Around a week ago?"

"No. I said no such thing. What makes you think that I would ever fancy someone like you?" My mouth fell half open as I watched him get back to his work.

"So you'd much rather prefer someone of... Higher status, and possible wealth?"

"I'd much rather prefer no one. You see, if I were to ever have a wife, they could cause me so much trouble."

"Indeed? How so?"

"They would be pestering me nonstop, wanting to buy frivolous items, wasting away my money, being nosy, teasing, irritating me till my last breath."

"Then the solution to that would be finding a lady you can tolerate. Like me."

"Sometimes I cannot tolerate you."

"Then begin to!"

"Why are you so interested in this topic?" I sighed. 

"I don't know. Maybe it's because I hardly know much of your interests in things. Of course I'll be ended up tied to that bastard instead of no one."

"You yourself wouldn't want to be married?" He looked up then.

"No, of course not. I wouldn't dream of being the wife of any man who doesn't agree with my beliefs and principles." He snorted, looking back down.

"Your beliefs and principles will be believed by naught."

"They will not! I have dreams and wishes to change the world and have the women be on top of men! At the very least, we should be allowed to vote!"

"The brain capacities of a female such as yourself, would not be vast enough to understand the many concepts of-"

"Small brain capacities my ass!" I slammed a fist onto the desk, and made him look up again. "Was I not able to figure most things necessary for you? Was I not able to find Simmons? Was I not able to find the file in a delirious state? Was I not able to locate the way into getting the godforsaken file? Was I of no use to you for those weeks I'd wasted away two years ago!? You should know that I can never get those weeks back! Ever! They're lost! They're just a simple memory of my mind and yours, a memory that I have yet to forget! Face it," I glared at him, briefly wishing I could turn him into ashes with just my eyes. "Without me, none of this would currently be happening!" I finished gesturing the dark, outside world of Africa.

He narrowed his eyes a fraction of an inch at me. He didn't say anything for a long while, probably trying to find a way to weed our of this. "Without you," he said finally. "Indeed I would not be here now, but I would have been.. somewhere at least. Without you, I'd've still been able to find Simmons, the file and everything else." 

I felt him resist saying more. I didn't know how I knew, but I did. So I finished for him. "But without me, you would have taken ages to find everything. Simmons would have escaped, Lord Dalgliesh would have the file, it's contents would somehow be deciphered, even if," I cut him off as he tried to speak. "Even if they're heavily coded. And then he would begin the canal, right under your nose. And what would you do then, sir? Obviously not cry your eyes out. You showing emotion would mean that the world has ended."

"Deciphering the file would take a terribly long time, time I'm sure Lord Dalgliesh does not have."

"Stop trying to pick up the useless things I spit out of you and attempting to make an argument about them. It's not working." I snapped.

"Then what will work?" He slowly rose from his chair and his towering height made me remember all over again that this man wasn't exactly an ordinary one. He could sack me any minute. And I'd have nowhere to go. 

"What will make you stop believing that females will reach a higher stand-point than men? Than me?"

"That's not even the point!"

"Is it not?" He stepped around the desk and in front of me. It only took him two steps. "Is that not the point at all? Is that not what we have been arguing over? For the past two years, the same topic, the same rage, the same questions, the same answers, the same everything. And what has it brought us?" He waited for my reply. But I had no answer.

"Not sure?" He asked in an almost conversational tone. I shook my head a little. He took a step towards me and I stepped back. He did this once more and I ended up smacking my head against the wall. I winced and my hand flew up to it. 

"All that arguing that we had two years ago over your wants and dreams of feminism were for nothing. Why? Because no one bothers with it. No female has ever done anything against society. They have not invaded polling stations, demanding for them to vote. They have not gone, hunted and trashed the homes of those against feminism. They have all been cowering in fear and repulse, not wanting to cause any uproar or otherwise. They have done nothing but sit in silence for the past two years."

"Not I. Nor Patsy, Eve and Flora. We haven't sat in silence doing nothing."

"Oh? Then what is it you have been doing?" My mind had been reeling a split second ago but now all my thoughts stopped. What had we been doing for the past two years? I couldn't remember a single thing. Why? What the hell? How was it that I could remember the series of events that I went through with this bastard two years ago but nothing afterwards?

"I.. We..." I began but couldn't continue. And then, the last day I'd spent with them, that memory, came back with such a strange force, I nearly stumbled.

"I'm thinking of ways Lilly can avoid this marriage."

"And? You've come up with something, yes?" I asked eagerly. "I'm all ears to know your thoughts."

"Well... One option I can think of is running away. Either Lilly can wait for the unfateful day and run away from the altar, or she could run away now."

No one said anything for a moment. Flora was about to speak when she was cut off. 

"That's not a bad idea you got there Flora. But where would she run to?" Patsy inquired.

"I'm thinking about it. She could catch a train to Wales and live off her life there."

"Or to Scotland." I offered.

"Or even Ireland!" Patsy said, face brightening.

"What about India?" Eve suggested and three pairs of eyes turned towards her. "Is that not a good idea?"

I shook my head. "It's not because that's where his business mostly is. East India Company? Ring a bell? Plus, it's too far away. I reckon it would take a month or much longer to get there by train."

"Oh, yes right. East India Company is owned by him. I'd.. forgotten."

"I don't think you forgot, Eve. I think you just didn't care too much to remember it. And I don't blame you for that. I shouldn't care much either but seeing that I am about to become his wife..." I sucked in a breath before finishing the sentence in my head. And also that I had heard of this company a multitude of times two years ago from a man who is now dead...

Yes. They are the best and only reasons to continue think about it. I went to sit down on a bench nearby, and they followed me. 

"We talked about my running away. We came up with places I could run away to, places where he'd never dream of finding me. In fact, no one would know of my location except Eve, Flora and Patsy. My aunt would probably start a search party in order to find me, but I'd be long gone, living a new fresh life. In that time, I'd assumed you were dead, so I hardly cared much about you. It'd been two years since I gave up looking for you. And then you showed up and everything changed. All my plans were ruined when you asked me to join you in Africa." I looked up at him them. "I wouldn't be here now, had Patsy not given me that newspaper that made me find you."

Silence. 

"You thought I was dead?"

"Yes. Because I'd searched for you for an awful long time, with a terrible break in between, the time when Aunt Brank locked me up in my room. And then when I returned back to those men who were supposed to be looking for you.. Well I found that they had not done their job. So I gave them a piece of my mind."

"What did you exactly do?" I was about to answer when I stopped myself.

"Why do you care?"

"I don't."

"Don't lie to me." I said, grabbing his lapels and pulling him down to my level. "When you lie you sound slightly strained and your little finger always twitches." We stared each other down and I could not help feel that familiar drowning sensation I'd always gotten whenever I looked into those sea-green eyes. I hated it and loved it at the same time. 

I didn't know which one of us closed the gap between us. It could've been both of us at the same time. But whoever it was, they deserved a slap upside the head.

____________________________________________________________________________________

Oh wow. 

fck me up rn then

k

damn

CHFAGSBKASGINSADGIALSGHMIASHGRL

THE RADISH CHAPTERSSSSSSSSSSSSS -cries an ocean- OMGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE -screeches like a banshee- 

JGRSIALNTRILASHRIHGRADHGLKADHGKFAHGLNAREIRHMGIHDSGYNFDSILGYUFKDBSAGKUGBDSAINTGCIASUTHNASKUGTSKAUGDYSAGCUKANSGTUEKAGTNUACKGTUAKYGCTUSY oh i typed saint lmao AHUILFENASLITHLATCYUILATRIUAHTILDAHGIUAYGIUORDMAYILRDHYUIGLJRDAHGIULNDHAIGULDNYH 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN'TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT OMFRA

hlep i can't breathe

wHAt IS AiR!? aNYOnE KNOw?

-cries tears of happiness and anguish- fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkk

y u do dis Sir Rob

y

-gasps for air-

Okaywell I hope you liked this chapter. It was pretty random.

I need to brainstorm.

and I need another time skip. 

And yeah, I'm continuing this. But probably not for long. I'll make up some sht towards the end, and then start doing one-shots.

I'm doing somewhat good in that extra class of mine, idek man. nor do I really care

o sht

my time's running out. it's march 5th and i need to finish that class in ten days hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahaha

f that

school sucks

and my math teacher is on my Assholes of Life List.

she's like number 4 or 5 or something

Rikkard's on there too (:

oh yeah and so is Daligliesh. like duh

^ that one's like #3

idk what number Rikkard is

looooooooool

Well anybells, please leave comments! THANKSSSSSSSSSSSS ILYALL

I'll

See you later!