33

Kids Chapter 🤪

Nadia

My heart broke as they drove my brother away in that police car.

I looked down as my phone rang.

It was Trey.

I declined it and headed towards my room. He was the reason this was happening, he was the reason that I hated myself, the reason my brother was being sent to jail.

When I went to close my door, my mother opened it back before it shut. "Talk."

Tears shot to the brims of my eyes as I shook my head and kept my back turned to her. "Don't have anything to talk about."

"Nadia Alexis Taylor, I know you. Whatever's on your mind, you need to talk about it."

My mother wasn't helping anything. "Momma please, I just want to sleep."

"Dia—."

"Momma please, just let me sleep." My phone rang again and it was Trey. I simply placed my phone on my bed on its face.

"Okay you're making me do this. You haven't talked about Trey for the past 4 days. Zeek? First time hearing his name come out of your mouth and not Ken's. You mouthed the words 'I'm sorry' to your brother. What are you sorry about?"

I hated this about my mom.

How it was that easy for her to read into me, yet so hard for her to get the little details that I refused to give. Still, most times I gave her the little details but this one was something hard for me.

"Him getting arrested."

"We're all sorry. Princess—."

"Please don't call me that." I cut her off roughly.

I let my body fall onto my bed as I let my tears soak into my pillow. Looking at her slightly I saw that she was taking off her shoes.

She laid behind me as she wrapped her arms around me. "You gotta talk. Whatever it is, I can take it. I can handle it. Just lay it on me."

Gripping my mothers arm, I spoke slowly. "Please promise me you won't hate me."

"I'll never hate you Nadia, for heavens sake, I'm your mother." When my mom said my name like that, I knew she was telling the truth.

"Last night, I snuck out with Trey. He told me that they were having a party at his friends house and that it would be fun. So I went. I told Kendrick I was going to be back and to watch for me. He told me okay and I turned off the alarm and went out the front door." I let out and didn't look back at my mother face.

My momma shifted slightly. "Okay."

"The party had a lot of people in it and after a while I was ready to go. I had drunk something that Trey told me was juice and it made my stomach hurt. He wouldn't walk me back because he said he wanted to stay, but finally I argued him down and he walked me. We got by the park and he— he um—." I stopped talking as I began crying harder.

My mother didn't say anything at first, but finally she did. "You don't have to say anymore baby. I think you've said all you can get out."

"It's my fault!" I cried out. "I did this! If I would have just stayed home, he wouldn't have raped me. Kendrick wouldn't have told Dev and Dev wouldn't have fought the Trey. Trey friend wouldn't have shot Dev and Kendrick wouldn't be in jail! Dev would still be alive if it wasn't for me!"

"Wait what?" Momma J had came in on part of my rant.

"What's the friends name? Who is he? What's his name?" My momma asked me instead of answering Janet.

"Mom, I don't want to get into any more trouble. I just want to be by myself." I mumbled as I wiped my tears.

Momma J shook her head as she crawled in bed on the other side of me. "To bad you have to be in the middle of a mother sandwich. So, you do what ever you have to do. If you want to yell, cry, cuss. You get it out. Don't hold this in. We got you."

I looked into her eyes and it immediately made me break down.

"Trey stop!" He covered my mouth as tears ran down my cheeks.

I tried to push him off, but it was no use he was bigger than me. Stronger than me.

"Princess, come on, I've waited long enough." He stroked my cheeks with his hands.

"I'm not like that Trey. Get off!" I tried to fight him off.

"Shut-up Nadia!" He yelled at me causing me to jump.

I closed my eyes, knowing that this wasn't going to stop. I began saying the Lord's Prayer.

After a while I stopped saying it, for I realized I was already in hell.

I felt grimy.

Dirty.

Like my skin was tainted.

I just wanted to peel it off and get some more. I couldn't even look myself in the mirror.

Trey was someone special to me, and he had traded me in like I was nothing.

He ignored my pleads and cries.

Even called me princess as he violated my body.

At this moment, I was nothing. I felt nothing.

Just numbness.

Kendrick

I sat in a cell quiet.

Three other men surrounded me.

After a while, I heard the doors open and Zeek walked in.

When he saw me he kind of brightened up but quickly his smile fell as he sat by me. "Man, they killed him Kendrick. They killed our fucking boy. What we gone do?"

"Nothing." I mumbled out remembering Beth's story. "We not doing nothing. I just shoulda known that this nigga was faulty. I let him near my sister, that's what's really fucking with me."

"Imma get it handled." Zeek muttered. "You don't rape and kill and get away with it."

"Trey ain't kill Dev man." I looked at Zeek and he frowned.

"Well who did?"

"You know the dude Trey hang with? Termite or somethin'. When I made it to Dev's, he was already fighting Trey and then Termite jumped in and I had to handle that shit." Sighing, I sat back against the brick wall. "Next thing I know, I hear shots and one is in Dev. He hit the ground and everything from there is a fucking blur mane."

"Termite? Ain't his momma some type of stripper? This nigga hang on the other side of town." Zeek informed me.

"Hell, I don't know him like that. Just know who he is from asking around before this situation even popped up."

"Damn man!" Zeek yelled out of nowhere. "We ain't shaking back from losing our fucking boy! That's blood right there."

I definitely agreed. "I agree. You know I agree man. I couldn't do shit, but sit there and hold him."

"I was coming man." Z ran a hand over his face. "I promise you, I was coming. When I heard that fucking shot, I just knew it was one of us."

"We been rocking since Pre-K man. His momma pulled up from work and I just had to walk away." Tears began falling from my eyes. "I couldn't even help my own homeboy."

He only shook his head as response to me.

"Zeek, say something man. Anything." I found myself begging my friend for a response.

Out of nowhere, Zeek began crying. One of the men that was in the cell spoke. "Look, this ain't the way y'all wanna go or the life y'all wanna live. I'm in here for attempted murder."

"Shit, aggravated robbery." The other man added in.

"Sexual Assault, but I was just walking honestly." The third man added. "See, being black in a white world is a mans worst struggle."

"You gotta fight just to be given credit. Then turns out, after all this fucking fighting you do, that it doesn't help or matter. They still just gone see us as raggedy ass black people who deserved to be in jail because we are just angry with the world." The second man fed off of the third.

"Hell, they shot my brother 37 times, and all he did was ask why he was getting pulled over. What's y'all names young bloods?" The first man asked us.

"Kendrick, and this is Zeek." I introduced us to the men.

"Well, I'm Ashton." The first man whose brother got shot spoke as he pointed to the second man. "That's Greg and that nigga over there who really was just walking is Connor. You know his ass ain't do it. What kind of black man named Connor rapes people?"

Connor scrunched his face up. "Shut up, your name is fucking Ashton. We both got some white ass names."

Zeek and I laughed at them and Greg only shook his head.

"How long y'all been in here?" Zeek asked the men.

Greg finally spoke up. "Well, I been here since three days ago. Them two been in here for some weeks."

"But, you was just walking." I commented towards Connor.

He chuckled. "When the system then threw yo ass away racial, you're fucked. Being black, means you're fucked. Your family stops caring, ya friends stop calling. You're just fucked."

"Nah, my family gone always care." Zeek commented slyly.

"You think that now youngin'."Ashton shook his head. "After a while, they get tired of the disappointment you're bringing upon them. They ain't gone ever stop loving you, that will always be yo family and blood. Just gone stop caring. You come to this place, you die in this damn place. Simple."

I ain't even gone lie.

What that man said really got into my head.

Janet and Beth wouldn't want me anymore.

They would put me back in the system.

Nadia's life was probably better before I got involved in it.

Shit would be different if I just wasn't around.

I shoulda just stayed on that damn park bench and struggled.

I did this. Me. I did this shit to myself.