Chapter 18

🍑 Savannah's POV 🍑 As I sat at my vanity doing my makeup, I couldn't help but think about how much things had changed in the past few days. Yes, I was still sad about my Poppa- who wouldn't be?-, but I also knew that life had to go on. I was happy for the first time in along time and I had Jax to thank for that. All of my life, I had felt as if people used me to get what they wanted. At one point, I even thought that was how a relationship was supposed to go. Even though Jax and I were still pretty new, I knew that things could only get better from here. They had to. We both deserved to be happy after all the hell we had been though.

After I was finished with my make up, I straightened my hair, pinning back some of the layers away from my face mindful that I would be wearing a helmet. Jax has told me before I left that he was planning on taking the bike. Just thinking about riding the bike had my temperature rising. I could almost feel the vibration of the bike as I sat on the seat. I could feel the way Jax's lean hips hit between my thighs. I could smell that scent of fresh air and Jax's I've personal scent mixing, making for a heady combo. Whoa girl, settle down....

Glancing at the clock, I saw I had about fifteen minutes before Jax wanted me back at his house. I took that time to pack an over night bag with all my makeup, my dress for tomorrow, and the sexy lingerie I had brought. There wasn't any need to pack sleep clothes because I knew I was just going to end up naked anyway. I mostly slept in the nude and I loved the fact that Jax did too. Love...An idea that had once seemed so far out of reach for me, was within my grasp. Yes, I was still scared of how this was going to play out because I knew I wasn't the easier to love. I had too many insecurities and trust was a big thing for me. I didn't trust easily and the fact that I trusted Jax more than I did anyone else in such a short amount of time scared the living shit out of me.

As I was digging in my closet looking my black stilettos, I found my box of sex toys. I hadn't recently had a need for handcuffs, blindfolds, butt plugs or nipple clamps, but as I lifted the box, an idea struck me. Jax promised to keep up the flattery and flirting all night because he had quickly learned how hot it made me when he made me feel like I was the only woman on the planet and I had threatened him with a good time if he did. Before I could change my mind or overthink what he might think of me, I threw the box of toys into my over night bag. If we didn't use them, that was fine by me because Jax was a master at fucking and didn't need the help. But if we did use them, oh boy was Jax in for a night to remember.

💀Jax's POV💀I was just coming from my bedroom when Savannah came though the front door. She stopped me in my tracks. She was beautiful with her face clear of makeup and in my baggy t-shirts but put her in a kickass pair of skinny jeans that hugged her ass, a shirt that accentuated her breasts, and makeup that looked like it took hours to prefect, and she was fucking gorgeous. I walked over to her and grabbed her hand, making her spin so I could get a full 360° view. The jeans she was wearing made her ass look fantastic. With jewels on the back pockets, I knew she would be catching the eye of all the guys at the club house tonight. It gave me a little thrill to know that she would be the hottest woman there and that some of the others would be falling over themselves because of her appearance. But I was getting to know the woman under the clothes. I was bringing home the woman that all the other would want to get to know. While they would never know how it felt to fuck her, I knew it. Just thinking about it brought a smile to my face.

"What are you smiling about?" Asked Savannah.

"Just thinking about how jealous the guys are going to be of me tonight for having the most beautiful woman in the world on my arm."

"I'm sure Chibs won't think the same."

"No, he might not but then again he's getting married so I wouldn't expect him to be jealous." I said as I pulled her right against me. I looked down into her eyes and saw love and happiness mixed in with a little sadness.

"Have I told you that I love you today?" Said Savannah.

"Only a few times. Mostly when your about to come and moaning my name."

She punched my shoulder and smirked up at me but I knew that she was only playing and wasn't trying to hurt me. After everything that had happened to her in the past few days, it was a wonder she could even smile and joke around with anyone. The fact that she was staring at me, joking and smiling, told me how strong she truly was and made me fall a little further in love with her.

"You ready to go?" I asked, still holding her tight against me.

"Yeah."

"Ok. Let's go."

After walking out of the house and locking up, I helped her fasten her helmet and climbed onto my bike, helping her climb on as well. I started the bike and started pulling out of my drive when he ran one hand up to my chest beneath my kutte and let it rest over my heart while the other held onto my waist.

🍑 Savannah's POV 🍑 I didn't know what I was expecting when Jax said the rehearsal dinner would be at the club house but I wasn't expecting what looked to be one hundred people to be in attendance. I also wasn't expecting the club house itself to be an old warehouse in an abounded lot. I guess I was thinking it was going to look more like a house.

As Jax parked the bike, we were immediately bombarded by people wanting to talk to Jax. I had learned from Abby that SAMCRO was basically the biggest and most well know club on the west coast and was slowly becoming well known in the East coats and the Midwest as well. SAMCRO had started it all so Jax was basically a king in his own way.

Jax helped me off the bike and I unclasped my helmet while he hugged and said hello to everyone. I went to leave him to get a drink when he grabbed my hand, not wanting me to go. So there I stood, holding his hand or pulled into his side, while we slowly worked out way through the crowd and into the club house.

When we finally made it into the clubhouse, Jax walked us both to the bar and got us both a Miller Lite. There weren't as many people inside the club house as outside and for that I was thankful. As i looked around, I saw where things had already began to be decorated for the wedding tomorrow. It hadn't dawned on me until now that you usually have a rehearsal before the rehearsal dinner and from the looks of the inside of the club house, the wedding was going to be held here. There was an lattice archway on the stage in the corner, that was decorated in sunflowers and gardenias with ivy weaves through the holes in the lattice work. It was simply beautiful.

💀 Jax's POV 💀 I watched as Savannah's looked at the archway and the decorations that had already been placed. I could tell in her mind she was picturing what the whole day would look like. I immediately went to thoughts of both my previous weddings. One was done by a judge on a drunk whim to Wendy, Abel's birth mom, and the second had been in a brothel just before I went to prison. Both times had not been anything that I had wanted but had suited the purpose. I swore right then that if I ever got the chance to get married again, I would do it the right way. I'm not saying I would do a church wedding or anything but if whomever I was marrying wanted it, I'd do it because I knew it was what they wanted and making them happy would be my life's goal.

"What do you think?" I asked.

"About what?"

"The club house? The decorations?" Is it what you thought it would be?"

"No, not at all but I do love it."

"Good."

Before she could respond with anything, Chibs whistled to get everyone's attention. The rehearsal part of the rehearsal dinner was about to start and Chibs needed everyone in the wedding at the stage. I kissed Savannah on the lips and headed for the stage.

When I got to the stage, for superstitious reasons, Chibs and Althea couldn't play the bride and groom. Me being best man, I was chosen to play his part while Althea's best friend was picked to play her.

After running through the rehearsal twice to make sure we had it down, the party began. Rock music pumped from the speakers, liquor flowed, and we all let lose, even if it was for only a little while.

I found Savannah sitting at the bar alone, nursing her beer. Walking over to her, I wrapped my arms around her and spoke in her ear so she could hear me over the music.

"Are you ok?"

She turned to face me and I saw the sadness in her eyes. Not knowing what was wrong, I grabbed her by the hand and took her to the back where the dorms were set up. Going into the first one I found, I dragged her in and shut the door. I immediately pulled her into me, hugging her tight.

After standing there like that for awhile, I pulled back and looked her in the eyes.

"What's the matter babe. Talk to me." I said.

"It's stupid."

"Nothing is stupid to me if it's upset you."

"I was watching y'all rehearse and all I could think about was that if I ever got married, I wouldn't have anyone to be here with me that was part of my family."

That's when the damn broke loose. Tears began to stream down her face and sobs began wreaking havoc on her body. Lifting her, I carried her over to a chair in the corner of the room and snuggled her in my lap, trying to comfort her. But it seemed the more I tried to calm her, the harder she cried. I understood her pain to an extent. My dad had died a long time ago, mom was dead, and even though my grandfather was still alive, he has severe Alzheimer's and wouldn't even know who I was. So yeah, I knew what it would mean to not have a family to stand up there with you on the most important day of your life.

She and I sat in the chair in the dorm for a good hour before she able to pull herself together.

"I'm sorry for getting so distraught."

"Baby, don't ever apologize for being human."

"But this was supposed to be a night of fun."

"It still is. While it wasn't fun to see you cry, I enjoyed just being alone with you and holding you while you pulled yourself together."

"I can't go back out there. I know my makeup is a wreck."

"So go in the bathroom and wash it off. You know I don't think you need it anyway."

"It's not gonna help my puffy eyes."

"Babe, there isn't a person in that room out there that won't understand what your feeling. Believe me, we have all seen some shit and a woman who's been crying and had puffy eyes is far from the worst thing we've seen. But if you would rather leave, we can do that too."

"No, this is important to you Jax. I can't ask you to leave."

"You're important to me Savannah. If you don't want to go back out there, we'll leave and go home. But if you want to go back to the party, I'll be right by your side the whole time. It's up to you."

"You're too good to me. You know that right? I'm not used to people putting what I want above their own wants."

"As long as you and I are together, your every want will come before mine. I promise you that babe."

I watched as she processed what I was saying. It broke my heart to know that she was so untrusting that she couldn't automatically accept that someone should want whats best for her.

"We can go back to the party for awhile." Said Savannah.

"Are you sure? I'm serious about is going home if you want."

"Yeah, I'm sure. I like Althea and Fiona."

"Ok. Come on and I'll help you wash your face." I said as I stood up from the chair and carried her to the bathroom and sat her on the counter.