Chapter 10

🍑 Savannah's POV 🍑As soon as I'd gotten home, I had changed into more comfortable clothes. In cut off shirts and a ribbed racer back tank, I was as comfortable as I could be without taking my bra off. With Jax on the way over with the boys, I didn't feel like getting that comfortable was appropriate no mater how much I wanted to take the damn thing off.

Just as I was putting the pot pie in the oven, I heard the doorbell. Checking my reflection in the glass front of the stove, I checked to make sure I looked at least halfway decent. Satisfied with what I saw, I went to the door and checked the peephole even though I knew it was more than likely Jax and the boys. And I was right. I opened the door for them and let them in, and was shocked when Jax leaned in and kissed me on the cheek. Even after his lips had left my skin, I could still feel the tingle. I had never been one to believe that people felt all those tingles and butterflies and all that crap but I was starting to see what all the hype was about.

"Hey y'all."

"Hey you. Boys, say hey to Ms. Savannah."

"Hey Ms. Savannah." They said in unison.

"Would you boys like to watch some cartoon? I do t have any toys here but I do have all the cartoon ma you could ever want to watch."

That seemed to perk them up. It crazy how I felt nervous around them today in my own home when I had kept them yesterday over and Jax's and hadn't felt the least bit nervous. I think my nervousness is more attributed to the fact that Jax and I were going to talk. I knew what I had to say but I just hoped he wanted to hear it.

"Yes ma'am," said Abel.

"Okay. What do this guys like? Disney? Nick? Cartoon Network?"

"Paw Patrol!" Yelled Thomas.

"Thomas, no yelling." Said Jax

"Yes sir."

"Is Paw Patrol ok with you Abel?"

"Yes ma'am." Said Abel.

I flipped though thr channels until I found the show. I had never heard of this one but I liked it already because it was about dogs who worked to save their community.

"Okay boys. All set. Your daddy and I will be in thr kitchen if you need anything."

Neither answered as they were too enthralled with their show.

Jax and I headed to the kitchen and both took a seat at the small dining table. Heaving a deep breath to muster the courage I needed, I let the word flow out of my mouth before I had chance to think about them.

"Jax, I'm sorry about last night. I overreacted and I should have never hit you. Im not used to people being so genuine with me. I like that about you. No, I don't know you all that well but I can sense that your the type of guy who wouldn't shoot me a line of bullshit just to try and get in my pants. Last night after I told you that I couldn't do this and I went to leave, when you grabbed me I flashed back to when I was younger and wasn't strong enough to fight. That's why I hit you and again, I deeply apologize for that."

"No, you hitting me was definitely my fault. I should have never tried to stop you knowing what had been done to you. I only got what was coming to me for doing it."

"That may be true but that still didn't give me the right."

"Look, it's over and done. No hard feelings."

"Are you sure?"

"Do you think I'd be sitting here right now if I was holding a grudge?"

"No, I guess not."

"Okay then. You are right about one tuning though. I don't feed anyone any bullshit. I want everyone to be honest with me so that's how I treat everyone. That being said, I'm going to be brutally honest with you right now."

"Okay." I said but my heart was about to beat completely out of my chest. What if he told me that he didn't want to try this anymore? What if I had fucked everything up by leaving last night? What could I say or do to change his mind if that was the case.

"When Tara died, I became closed off. I get up every morning with one goal in mind... to make sure my kids are safe and that I come home to them every night. Doesn't leave much time for myself if you know what I mean. This past year has been one of the hardest of my 35 years here on this earth. I'm just now getting to the point where I believe it's time for me to look for more in life. It's time for me to start living a little part of my life for myself and not just go through the motions. I know Tara wouldn't want that for me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm willing to take a leap of faith if you are."

I sat there dumbfounded. I had expected Jax to tell me that he was done after last night. 8 expected him to say that I was too much of a headache. But he didn't. He was seriously telling me that me was ready to try a relationship and unless I was reading all the signs wrong, he wanted to try it with me.

"Oh Jax. I didn't know how you would react to how I acted. I thought you were going to tell me to kick rocks. I had a speech all planned out, begging you to forgive me and telling you how stupid I was for not even wanting to try this. Of course I'll try. I'm ready to take that leap too."

I couldn't help it. The tears started to stream down my face. But not tears of sadness or fear. No, these were tears of happiness. Like him, I had finally decided to start living my life again, regardless if there was a chance I could get hurt. I know he was taking that same risk which made it all the more easier to take that leap with him.

Before I knew what was happening, Jax was standing beside. He grabbed my hand and pulled me up to standing and then pulled me into him. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. He whispered soothing words to me until my tears finally stopped. When I looked up at him, he leaned down and gave me a tender kiss on the lips.

"No more tears. Please. I can't stand to see a woman crying."

"Their happy tears I promise."

"Doesn't matter. Now dry your tears before Abel comes in here thinking something's wrong and lays in on me."

Pulling away from him to get a towel to wipe my tears, I peeked into the living room and saw both boys were still zoned into their show. I checked on the pot pie that only had about five more minutes and then turned to face Jax. He was just looking at me smiling and I knew right then and there that I would do everything in my power to keep that smile on his face. He was sexy as sin to begin with but add in that panty melting smile, an holy fuck. He was every woman's wet dream.

"Keep looking at me like that and I can't promise to remain a gentleman."

"Oh shit sorry." I said as I quickly turned back around to face the sink.

He cane up behind me then, place an arm on each side of me. I was caged in. I felt the momentary panic that always came when I felt helpless but it didn't last long. He leaned down and whispered in my ear.

"Don't ever apologize for looking at me like that again."

"Okay" I said breathlessly.

When he stepped away, I could still feel his body heat clinging to me. The kitchen timer went off, reminding me of what I was supposed to be doing. When I turned from the over, Jax had went into the living room with the boys. Thankful for the space, I went about getting plates sat out for dinner.

💀 Jax's POV 💀 After the way Savannah had looked at me in thr kitchen, and me caging her in at the kitchen sink, I needed the space. Not because I regretted being that close. Fuck no! It was because I like it too much. My dick was rock hard and I knew that if I stayed in that kitchen with her, there would be no chicken pot pie for dinner and my kids would have been introduced to the bird and the bees. After a year of not being with a woman, other than Winsome that some time, I hadn't had the urge to seek the pleasure of a woman. But goddamn if I wasn't looking for it now. For some reason, I was drawn to Savannah like a moth to a flame.

As I stood watching Paw Patrol with the boys, my dick finally went down enough that I wasn't worried about busting the seam of my jeans. It was still about semi-hard but not like it was. I had promised myself to be a gentleman with her. In wouldn't make a move until I knew she was ready. She would have to be the one to initiate anything between us.

It wasn't long before she yelled from the kitchen that dinner was ready. I gathered the boys up and walked them into the kitchen, helping them into their seats. Savannah had even went as far as placing books into Thomas's seat and placed a belt around it so that he could reach the table and the belt would hold him in place. She served us all a portion of the chicken pot pie that smelled delicious.

I wasn't sure how the boys would react to it because if the vegetables but I should t have worried. They are it like kids who were starving. I was ashamed to admit that it had been awhile since we had a home cooked meal like this. If I had to guess when the last time we ate a home cooked meal was, it had to have been something my mother cooked. My mother...I wasn't doing to think about her. Not now at least. That would come later. Thinking of her only ended in my being pissed the fuck off and Savannah or the kids didn't deserve to see me like that.

We all ate our dinner, carrying on simple conversations. Savannah asked Abel about school. She helped Thomas with his food. I watched as she interacted with the boys. It struck me again how great of a mother she would be and then I felt myself getting angry all over again at that piece of shit for what he did to her. She was attentive with Abel and Thomas and listened to them ramble on about things that half the time made zero sense. If she was this good with kids she had no connection too, imagine what she would have been to her own. As I watched, I couldn't help but wonder what a life of simplicity would be like. What would it be like to come home to a woman you love and your kids and not have to worry about what bad shit was around the corner? Tara and I had both wanted that. We had decided to move to have that life. But then came the whole cartel clusterfuck, the truth about my fathers death, and everything else.

".... for desert?"

I was so far into my thoughts I hadn't heard what Savannah had been asking. Dragging myself to the here and now, I asked her to repeat herself.

"Are you guys ready for desert? I have some banana pudding I made a couple days ago."

"Sounds good." I said.

"Yummy!" Said Thomas.

"Yes!" Said Abel.

They both had eaten their dinner with no arguments so who was I to tell them they didn't need desert? After Savannah had dishes out the remainder go the banana pudding, and we had all eaten our potions, I got Abel to help her clear the table while I started the dishes and Thomas watched Paw Patrol. That had earned me a little lip from Abel but nothing that was disrespectful. As soon as he was done clearing the table, I sent him to the living room to watch tv with Thomas. I wanted a few minutes alone with Savannah.

"Thank you for dinner tonight."

"You're welcome. I would have been eating it for days and I'm not a huge fan of left overs. Most Seoul's have probably been tossed in thr trash."

"Well it was delicious. And so was the banana pudding."

"Thank you."

"So, are we still on for Saturday?"

"You know it. I can't wait to see you all cleaned up."

"And I can't wait to see what kind of dress you pick. Something form fitting I hope."

"Guess you will have to see now won't you?"

"I guess."

Glancing over at the clock, I noticed it was closing in on 9:00. It was almost thr kids bedtime but I wasn't ready to leave. Knowing I needed to make sure they stuck to a routine, I said my goodbyes to Savannah and thanked her once more for dinner. I could tell she didn't really want me to go but I didn't ask her to come over because I knew she had to be feeling like she was dead on her feet. So, I kissed her on the check and headed for home with my two boys. I couldn't help but think about the "what ifs" on our short walk back home. What if one day I didn't have to leave her standing at her door?What if one day, when she was dead on her feet, I could carry her to bed? What if one day, we had every meal together as a family?