Chapter 4

🍑 Savannah's POV 🍑 When I finally got my tears under control, I pulled back and looked into Jax's eyes. What I didn't see there utterly shocked me after I told him what I had. I didn't see the sympathy that people looked at me with when they knew about my history. No, what I saw was determination.

"That's the worst of me. That's what you get with me as a friend, lover, or just a neighbor."

"Savannah, i don't even know what to say. To have lived through what you have, is a feat in itself. Most people would have either delved deeper into drugs, or committed suicide. But you know what you did, you started a whole new chapter in your life. You left that girl in the past. The girl I saw today standing on the other side of my door is not the person you just described to me."

"I wish that was true. That girl is always going to be inside me. The memories are always going to be there."

"That's true. But you know what else, those memories will be there to keep you from falling into those patterns again."

"I know. But when the day comes, how do I willingly let a man fall in love with me knowing that I can't give him the kids he's going to want if we were to get married? I'm 28 years old Jax. I'm not getting any younger. My window is closing rapidly. Within a few years, I'll end up as the crazy cat lady who hoards animals in order to feel love."

"You will not. You will find someone who will love you and all your imperfections. Anyone who doesn't accept you for the warrior that you are, doesn't deserve your anyway."

"How do you know just the right words to say?"

"Because I've been there. Hell I'm still there. My wife was brutally murdered by my own mother a year ago. Every time I close my eyes, I see my wife's lifeless body. I see the blood covering our kitchen. I turned to alcohol for a couple of months after Tara's- that was my wife's name- death. Almost lost my kids because of it. It's a struggle for me every fucking day of my life to put one foot in front of the other. But I have to for my kids. But you wanna know something, you telling me you're story, how you have overcome and built a better life, proves to me that tragedy doesn't define us. It proves that we have a choice. We can either crumble under the weight of the bad shit that happens to us, or we can find the good and keep moving."

"That's what they told me in a N/A meeting I attended. Each day is a choice. We are the only ones who has the power to choice if it's going to be a good day or a bad day. I aim to have all good days but that's not realistic. Did I get up this morning thinking I was going to be spilling my sordid past in the lap of my neighbor? No. Did I wake up this morning thinking I was going to lock my shit in my house? No. Did I wake up this morning thinking I was going to kiss an insanely attractive man? No. But you know what? All of that happened. It's just the way things go."

"Insanely attractive huh?"

"Out of all of that, that's what you picked out?"

"No, I heard every word you said. Like you, I didn't wake up this morning thinking I was going to have a very intense conversation with a stunningly beautiful woman. I didn't wake up this morning thinking I was going to kiss said stunningly beautiful woman. I also didn't wake up this morning thinking that today would be the day that I would meet someone who would prove to me that we overcome all the bad shit that happens to us."

"Stunningly beautiful huh?"

"Yes. You are one of the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You are undoubtedly one of the strongest women I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. You are worthy of love Savannah. Don't ever let anyone tell you any different."

"Same goes for you Jax. You're worthy of it as well.

I rested my cheek on his shoulder and let him comfort me. We stayed like that, just holding one another and drawing strength from one another until the sun started to sink down over the horizon. It was perfect.

💀 Jax's POV 💀 "We should probably get going." I said. The sun was just starting to sink. I had really enjoyed holding her in my arms. She fit perfectly against me. Her 5'2 frame against my 6'1 was like a missing puzzle piece. If I wasn't extremely careful. I could get entirely too used to the feel of her beside me.

"Yeah, we should. I'm sure the kids want to know where you are. Speaking of, I thought you were picking the kids up?"

"I was but the nanny got them instead. She knows I've had a lot on my mind lately and told me to take a ride. She knows that riding helps me clear my head."

"Sounds like an amazing nanny."

"She is. She's been keeping Abel and Thomas both since they were babies."

"So you trust her then?"

"Completely. She knows more about kids that I could ever claim to. Aside from myself, she's one of the only people I trust with my kids."

"I can understand that."

"I imagine you can. Come on, I got to drop the bike off at TM and grab the Tahoe. What do you say to grabbing a pizza on the way home and just hanging out?"

"Sounds like a plan as long as the pizza has pineapple."

"You got a deal."

I helped Savannah stand up. While she dusted her shirt off, I stared up at the sky. I wanted some kid of sign from Tara telling me that she was okay with me moving on when the time came. And I didn't have to wait long. A cardinal flew by me and landed on a branch not 2 feet from me. He looked me directly in the eye. I had always been told that when a cardinal gets that close, it's because it's a loved one, returning to visit from the other side. I didn't know if that was true but it was too much of a coincidence to not be something to it.

"Okay" I whispered after I had stared at the bird for over a minute.

"You say something?"

"Just talking to myself. You ready?"

"Yep, let's got."

Savannah and I walked in companionable silence back to my bike. I quickly strapped my helmet in place and climbed on my bike so that I wouldn't accidentally see her coochie again. The first time had nearly given me a heart attack. A second time might actually succeed. Just thinking about her on thr back of my bike, her knees hugging my hips had my disco twitching with interest. There was no way I was going to ask on any urges I had. Not after what she had told me. To have been so damaged by someone she trusted had to have really fucked her up. It was a miracle that she would even be alone with a guy. And let's not forget about the things she did in order to feel like she was loved. I couldn't imagine how bad one had to be hurting to willingly have someone use you like she let people use her. She deserved so much happiness after the hell she has lived through.i didn't know if I was capable of being thag happiness, but I knew in that moment, if she let me, I was going to try to be every good thing that happened to her form this moment forward.

When Savannah climbed onto the back of my bike, she wasn't quite as rigid as before. Wrapping both hands around my waist, she rested her cheek between my shoulder blades.

"Ready?" I yelled over the roar of the engine.

"Yep."

I shook my head in acknowledgement and began to turn the bike around and onto the highway. Heading into town, I thought about my boys and the type of role models they needed in their lives. Abel was going to have a hard time when it came to his mental health. He's saw a lot in his six short years. From being kidnapped to almost getting blown up, my first born had seen things that most adults have only ever dreamed about. The pain I felt at knowing that I responsible for him seeing those things settled in my gut, threatening to make me sick. Taking a deep, calming breath, I willed the bike back down to my stomach and concentrated on the road in front of me. 

Just as I stooped my bike in front of the bay doors at TM, I felt the phone in my pocket vibrate. Dragging it out, I didn't recognize he number but decided to answer it anyway.

"Hello?"

"I'm looking for Savannah Jackson. She called me from this number today. I'm her landlord."

"Yeah, hold on just a second."

I passed the phone to her.

"For me?"

"Yeah, it's your landlord."

I helped her down off the bike, luckily she had adjusted the shirt this time so I wasn't hit with the sight of her naked sex or the garter that was tattooed on her right thigh. I started to wonder about any other hidden tattoos she might have which only caused my dick to stir again. The damn thing hadn't  shown any signs of life in a year and now all of a sudden, the thought of tattooed thighs had it twitching like was a damn teenager who had never been laid before. While she handled whatever needed handling, i adjusting myself in my jeans and wheeled my bike into one of the bays and locked everything up. I set the alarm in the office and walked over to the Tahoe where Savannah was just ending her phone call.

"Your not going to believe this shit." She said when I reached the Tahoe.

"Try me?"

"Well, the landlord is out of town until Friday. There's no one here to get me a duplicate or to even unlock it so that I can get my things unless I hire a locksmith. Which my landlord is still refusing to pay for."

"But today is Monday. That's a whole week. How does he expect you to life your life when you have no where to stay?"

"If I wasn't scared of someone getting in the house who ain't supposed to be there, I would bust a window myself. At least then what I would have a change of clothes and a bed to sleep on."

"How about we stop over there on the way home and see if I can maybe jimmy the lock?"

"You can do that? Pick locks I mean?"

"Let's just say, SAMCRO hasn't always been a legit club."

"I don't know whether that would terrify me or excite me."

"A little of both I guess."

"Oh. Well in that case I guess we better get going so you can see if you've lost you touch then hadn't we?"

"Yeah" I said laughing. Yes, I was actually laughing. I hadn't laughed a genuine laugh in over a year other than when playing with the kids. And the feeling felt amazing.

We climbed up into the Tahoe and headed towards the local pizza place. I ordered a pepperoni pizza with Canadian bacon and pineapple. The smell of the pizza had my stomach growling immediately.

I pulled the Tahoe into the driveway of my home and switched off the engine. Grabbing the pizza, I walked around to the passenger side to help Savannah down from the vehicle. Once inside, i dropped the pizza on the kitchen table and then I went to the boys' rooms and checked on them. Both were sound asleep. Coming back into the living room, Neeta was packing her things, getting ready to leave.

"Hey Neeta, I need to run next door and help Savannah's here with a tricky lock. Do you mind staying five or ten more minutes?"

"Sure."

"Thank you Neeta. Oh, and I'm sorry but I didn't introduce you two. This is Savannah Jackson. She lives 2 doors down."

"Nice to meet you Ms. Savannah." Said Neeta.

"Likewise, Ms. Neeta."

"Is that a southern accent I hear?"

"Yes ma'am. I'm originally from Savannah, Georgia."

"Savannah from Savannah."

"Yes ma'am."

"I'm from Mobile, Alabama myself. I don't hear too many people talk the way I do round here."

"Me either."

"Ok, you too run along and get your stuff handled. I'll be here waiting when you get back Jackson."

"Thanks Neeta."

Grabbing a flashlight off the top of the fridge, Savannah and I left my house and walked down to hers. I tried the front door first but wasn't successful in picking the lock. I then walked around to the back of the house and tried that lock. That one was a success.

Opening the door to Savannah, I watched as she flipped the kitchen light on, locked her shoes off, and picked up her cell phone checking her missed calls. I looked around her kitchen. It wasn't anything fancy but it was clean. I waited but the door, not wanting to intrude upon her space.

"This place is nice." I said when I couldn't take the silence anymore.

"Yeah, it is. Shit, do you want anything to drink?"

"No, I'm good."

"Ok, I'm going to run and change and then we can eat go back to your place and eat that pizza. Sound okay?"

"Yeah."

"Ok. Give me five minutes. Maybe yourself at home while you wait."

I walked into the living room and took in the scenery there. She had tastefully decorated her space to reflect her personality which only made me realize just how bare my home must look. Maybe it was time to finally settle into my home. When I moved there, I signed a lease that stated I would have the option to buy it after a year. I had about three months to decide it I wanted to buy that home or look for a different one. As I let my mind wander, I went to the mantle over the fire place. One photo in particular caught my eye. It was of a woman and child. Assuming the picture was Savannah and her mother. I stared at the photo. The child looked to be around four years old. Even then, she was beautiful. I examined the woman in the photo. Dark hair, small build, and a smile that could bring a man to his knees. Yes, she was definitely a beauty. Savannah didn't look much like her mother but she had her mothers eyes and lips. Replacing the picture upon the mantle, I looked more around the room. There were pictures on the wall of her family, that mixed in with numerous pieces of abstract art. Just as I took a seat on the couch, Savannah came out of her bedroom. He face was scrubbed of makeup, her hair thrown in a messy bun, and she was wearing cut off shorts that showed him the garter he had saw earlier and a tank top that hugged her frame, stretching across her breasts.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but as stunningly beautiful as you were all dressed up for work, you look amazing right now."

"Thanks. This is the normal around the house look. If I could get by with wearing it to work, I would. I hate skirts but I like to eat so..."

"I get that."

"You ready?"

"Yeah."

I followed behind her, only glancing at her ass once, ok, twice as she grabbed her phone and keys and locked up the house. The two of us walked back to my house, to devour the pizza that was waiting for us.