Home Sweet Home

Louise's POV

It felt weird being back in England and truth be told I wished I could have stayed in New York forever. Why? Because being in New York made it easier to forget reality. And that reality was that I had cancer.

I was unpacking my belongings in my room and Ed was helping. When I say helping, I mean he was sitting cross legged on my bed watching me because he had no idea where my stuff went. But I liked his company, he took my mind off the dominating thoughts which attempted to cloud my judgement.

"Do you think it could ever rain fish?" Ed randomly asked as I folded a pair of jeans and tucked them into a draw.

"Rain fish?"

"Yeah. I think it's possible you know. I swear I read it somewhere." He told me.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Didn't it happen once?" He asked. "Or was I dreaming?"

"I think you may have been dreaming." I slightly laughed.

"Yeah probably." He nodded still deeply thinking about it. "It would be so cool though, if it rained fish."

"I don't know about you, but I don't think it would be nice having a load of dead fish drop in my head." I said.

"Yeah but, free fish." He reasoned.

"Hmm, true." I nodded hanging a dress up in my wardrobe.

I liked having random conversations like these, they made me smile. It was interesting to know what Ed thought about sometimes and made me happy to know that he wasn't afraid of sharing his thoughts.

"Why're you smiling?" Ed grinned, noticing my smile.

"Because you're amazing." I faced him. "And you're all mine."

I kissed him briefly on the lips and carried on unpacking.

"Oh, sweets!" Ed giggled as his eyes landed on the packet of Haribos that I had placed on my bedside table. "I don't mind if I do."

He reached over and opened the bag, munching on my sweets.

"Yeah sure you can have my sweets, Ed. It's cool." I sarcastically said.

"Thanks." He grinned. "Want some?" He handed me the packet.

"Nah, I'm good." I answered.

"More for me." He shrugged and I smiled to myself. Damn I loved that boy.

"I called my doctor, got an appointment tomorrow..." I revealed.

"Want me to come with you?" He offered.

"Nah, I'll be fine." I assured him even though part of me was lying.

"Then I'm coming with you."

"What? Why?" I questioned.

"We all know 'fine' means absolutely terrible, Lou." He looked me straight in the eye.

"Thanks." I didn't want to protest.

"Now, can we leave the packing for now?" He shoved a few more Haribos into his mouth before closing the packet.

"Why?"

"Because I want to spend one final day with my beautiful girlfriend before shit gets real. You in?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I wouldn't want to do anything else." I smiled back.

****

I finished lacing up my shoes and watched as Ed fiddled with his. Once he was done we made our way to the tenth lane. Yes, we were going to do some bowling.

"How much do you bet I beat you?" Ed teased.

"Ermmm, nothing. You're totally gonna beat me." I had given up before we had even started.

"And why d'ya say that?" He questioned.

"Because I can't bowl to save my life." I told him.

To save my life. I needed to stop thinking about the cancer.

"It's easy, I'll show you." He smiled. "Choose a ball."

I decided with the plain black one and picked it up, only to drop it back down again.

"That motherfucker is heavy!" I complained, shaking my hand.

"Here," he laughed. "Take this one."

He handed me a green ball and it was just the right size for my fingers and wasn't heavy at all.

"Good?" He asked.

"Perfect." I nodded.

"Okay, now stand here." He positioned me in the middle of the front of the lane. "Now aim for the central pin and pull your arm back."

I did as Ed said and kept my focus on the middle pin. His left hand was on my waist and his other on my right wrist.

"Now, don't take a weak shot, use some force and roll it." He let go of me and motioned towards the pins. "Now give it a go."

I rolled the ball doing exactly what he said yet the ball seemed to have a mind of its own. It slid diagonally and rolled into the gutter.

"Well that was..." Ed began.

"Bad." I finished his sentence.

"Yeah." He nodded and I poked him.

"I told you I was bad." I said.

"Lucky I'm a good teacher." He smiled.

"Clearly." I sarcastically say and point to the full set of pins at the end of the lane.

"Hey, don't blame me for your lack of co-ordination missy." He remarked.

"And don't blame me if you happened to get a bruise on your face." I smiled sweetly.

"Fiesty Louise." He smirked. "I like it."

"You cucumber." I nudged him.

"You lettuce." He nudged me back.

"You salad." I laughed.

"Enough with the healthy name calling, I'm getting hungry and salad isn't my favourite food." He said.

"Sorry, you hotdog." I grinned and picked up the bowling ball.

"Try to aim for the solid white things line up at the end, yeah?" He laughed.

"Thanks for telling me, I almost aimed for you face." I stuck my tongue out at him then threw the ball.

I hit one.

"Well, you're improving!" Ed encouraged.

"Yeah, yeah whatever Mr I'm-so-amazing-at-bowling. You try." I said.

"With pleasure." He smiled and picked up the ball.

With one swift motion, the ball glided along the lane and smashed into the pins. They all fell.

"Strike!" Ed cheered.

"Show off." I joked.

We continued to play our game, me terribly and Ed amazingly. But hey, I did manage to get a spare! Can I get a hell yeah?

No? No. Okay.

"That's 276 to me and 65 to you." Ed concluded as we finished our game.

"Wait, what? You won? Who would've guessed?" I gasped.

"I know, I mean you're so amazing!" Ed joked.

"Well, I did improve." I told him.

He wrapped his arm around my waist and kissed my forehead. We left the bowling alley feeling giddy and happy and I was glad I was able to spend this moment with Ed.

*****

It was 3am and I couldn't sleep. I was petrified about tomorrow. Yeah, I know, I was over reacting, it's just a doctor's appointment. But I just...I was scared.

Silence surrounded me apart from the steady sound of my breathing. The room was dark and I felt Ed shuffle uncomfortably beside me.

"Ed?" I whispered. "Are you awake?"

"Yeah." He whispered back to my surprise.

"Ed, I'm scared." I admitted as I hugged the covers close to my body.

"It's okay to be scared, so am I." He whispered back.

"Is that why you couldn't sleep? Because you were worrying about me?" I turned my body to face his.

"Yeah..." He admitted and turned to face me as well.

Our bodies were so close and I refused to break eye contact with his captivating blue eyes.

"You shouldn't worry you know." I told him.

"I know, and neither should you." His voice was barely audiable.

"I can't help it." I replied. "All of this scares me to death. I feel like a little child who's afraid of the monster underneath the bed. Only this time, the monster is real and it's inside me."

"Well," He moved his hand up to my cheek and stroked it. "You'll have to do what you did when you were a child when you were scared of the monsters."

"Run to my mum?" I asked. "I can't do that."

"No, you have to look under bed and face your monster; you have to be brave." He whispered. "You have to face your monster; you have to face your cancer."

"But what if I can't?" I asked.

"That's why you've got me: to help you." He smiled and leaned into kiss me. I felt the soft texture of his lips mould against mine as they comforted me.

"I love you." I smiled at him.

"And I love you." He kissed my forehead. "You think you can get to sleep now?"

"Yeah," I nodded. "Goodnight, Ed."

"Goodnight, Lou."

I turned back around and felt Ed's arms wrap around my waist. I smiled to myself finally feeling peaceful. My worries seemed to float away as I heard the soft sound of Ed's breathing beside me. I felt safe.

My eyes fluttered shut and I soon drifted off into a peaceful slumber with the thoughts of a certain ginger never leaving my mind.