*𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟠𝟚

a/n happy holidays and happy new year!

-나는 그들의 것, 그들은 내 꺼야-

"can i shave your beard?" i turned around and looked at him, water splashing at my sudden actions.

after my poor attempt at walking, seungcheol suggested that i should rest for the rest of the day and that i should clean up. the only problem was, i could do no such thing. so, he was helping me bathe.

with him in the bathtub, too.

"i don't have a beard?" he chuckled, his soapy hands were on my back.

"yeah, you do" i turned his face with one of my hands, the other holding me steady by holding the side of the tub. "you have a little bit of stubble." i laughed at his lie.

"i do?" he brought his hand to touch his cheek, his eyebrows deeply furrowed with confusion. "it never grows though" i chuckled.

"so, let me trim it," i smiled.

i completely forgot to ask if virgin blood was a real thing.

i never thought i would lose my virginity to him. i thought it would be a boyfriend, but i suppose life had different plans for my life.

i love him so much. i'm selfish about him. i'm selfish about all of them, and shameless about it, too. i love them all so much. i just want them to be with me for as long as possible.

i wish i had all eternity with them. i wish i had the lifespan and freedom to be with them forever. but, kai probably won't allow that. he would force me to turn into selene before i even get the chance to live.

but i was glad to still have some time left.

🌷

tuesday afternoon was like any other day. we ate and talked for the rest of the day. by the time it was night, i was able to walk properly so i told him i would go to school the next day.

he suggested that he enrolled in the school as well so that he could protect me just in case, but i told him no. i was thankful he respected that decision.

everything seemed to be fine.

but the thought of what seungcheol said lingered at the back of my mind; he felt distant eyes on us. it worried me that they already found us, even though we haven't been seen in public that much. only going out to go to a cafe or the park.

but wednesday afternoon, after he picked me up from my classes, something happened.

🌷

"hey cheol," i smiled at him as i walked towards him, "afternoon" he placed a hand around my waist and kissed my cheek.

i've gotten so used to his small touches, but i still get butterflies every time i see him.

"get in the car," he let me go in an instant when he realized people were staring at us.

this was still only my second day in school, so people were still looking at me, trying to see what kind of person i was. seeing me with a man that looks quite a few years older is a bad sign. a red flag, if you will.

i took my seat inside his bmw and watched as he started the car and drove away from the school.

his preferred type of car was always a bmw, every time we moved he would always get the same brand of car. no matter what.

"so, how was school today?" he placed his hand on my thigh, looking at the mirror to see behind us. "it was alright" i turned to look out the window, looking at the people going on about their day.

"nothing caught your attention today?" he squeezed my thigh, bringing my attention back to him.

"oh! these girls were talking about me in the bathroom. it was funny to listen to them," i smiled brightly at the thought. "what were they saying?" he turned a corner.

"they were saying nice things about me, wondering what i was like and that i was interesting. one of them even asked if i was into girls." a laugh escaped me, giggling with glee.

his brows lifted and his chuckle was deep and warm at my story. "but they assumed i was into guys because you were the one that picked me up. they thought we were in a relationship," a soft laugh escaped me again.

there's a bit of truth to their assumption.

"if the girls assume as much, then the boys probably will, too." he looked at the rearview mirror a second time, "they'll keep their grubby hands off you."

i glanced at him, a deep frown on his face as he looked behind us and turned a corner again. "they went on about how pretty..." when i realized his frown deepened further into a scowl, my words faded away from my lips.

something is bothering him.

"is everything alright?" my usual joyful voice sounded serious now, unsure if there was something to worry about, or if there was a minor thing bothering him.

"open the glove compartment and call the first number on the burner phone," he was deadly serious, with no trace of amusement in his voice left, only concern, and intensity.

"what's going on?" i voiced out my anxiety, but still did as he ordered. opening the glove compartment, i found papers and a burner phone. i turned on the phone and called the first number as he instructed.

"mingyu is going to answer the phone, tell him that he and our unit needs to get to london now," he harshly turned another corner without warning. "seungcheol...?" i turned towards him again, his hand was no longer on my thigh. both of his hands were gripping the steering wheel, his eyebrows furrowed into a permanent scowl.

i brought the phone to my ear, hearing it ring. "there's a black car following us."

i whipped my head to the window behind, seeing a car in the far distance. "how do you know they're following us?" i mumbled, still holding the phone to my ear, waiting for mingyu to answer.

"we've turned three corners and that car is still behind us" his voice was dark as he spoke. he pressed his foot on the gas and started driving faster, zooming through the ocean of cars.

finally, he answered the phone. "yes?" he answered. "mingyu!" anxiety-filled me knowing that we were being pursued, scared that they might get us; more specifically me.

"areum? what's going on? why do you sound so scared?" he sounded so concerned and scared at my anxious voice.

"seungcheol said that your unit needs to get to london now!" i struggled to get the sentence out, replying to him in a frenzy, trying to get the words out as quickly as possible, turning my head to look behind us again.

"he said that there's a car following us" i took in deep breaths trying to calm down after seungcheol looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"are you sure he only said our unit?" he replied over the phone, but before i could respond seungcheol took the phone from me and brought it to his ear.

"get on a jet and bring vernon and wonwoo with you," he said without hesitation, his voice harsh as the command left his lips.

"okay," mingyu responded in an instant and hung up the phone. seungcheol threw the phone back into the open glove compartment and closed it.

i felt terror rise in me, all the worst possible scenarios playing in my mind. i was overcome with panic and fright. my breathing became erratic and shallow, my palms becoming sweaty and my actions impulsive purely moving on instinct and adrenaline.

"areum, everything's going to be okay. we're going to lose them" he brought one of his hands to my shoulder, his cold touch allowing me a moment to breathe.

"how can you be so sure?" i replied, still unsettled and afraid. "there's a tunnel up ahead; we can lose them through there." he pointed up ahead with the hand that was previously on my shoulder. i looked forward and saw the entrance, taking a moment to force myself to breathe.

"o-okay," i stuttered, taking one of my hands and placing it onto his shoulder, gripping at it to feel some sort of stable ground. my mind was a mess, a million thoughts at a time, my body going on overdrive with adrenaline.

once we passed through the entrance, it was mostly pitch black. i felt fear wash over me again, but when i looked over to seungcheol, he looked calm; concentrated but calm. he was focused on one thing, getting us to safety. he pressed on the pedal, accelerating by the second.

luckily there was almost no one inside the tunnel, one a few sparse cars in the far distance. i looked over my shoulder again and didn't see the car that was following us yet; meaning we were far ahead of them, but i could feel inside that they were probably still on our tail.

seungcheol turned the car to go through a different route than the main tunnel, going off the side and meeting the brightness of the day in an instance. i turned again and still saw no car behind us.

i let out a small sigh of relief but was still fearful at the possibility.

"are they still following us?" he asked me, his grip on the steering wheel making his knuckles turn white, his eyes glued to the road ahead. "no," i turned back to him. "what are we going to do now?" i brought my hands back to my side.

"just because they found us in public doesn't mean they found where we are staying. but they found where you go to school so they could just threaten the school into telling them where we live," he thought out loud. "we'll stay at a hotel for a while" he said after a moment of silence.

the road we exited through was mostly grassland, it looked like the countryside. a few cows are visible in the far distance and not a tree in sight for miles. it was just an open space as far as the eye can see.

"how will mingyu and the others know where we are then?" i muttered, still looking behind us to see any car. but it looked like we were the only one seen for miles, nothing in front of us or behind.

"i'll call them with the burner phone in my bag" he pointed with his thumb to the bag behind his seat. his intense stare was still on the road, his body still tense.

🌷

we drove for what felt like hours on hours, not listening to music or anything. i spent the entire time staring at the road behind us, mortified if i saw a car behind us, seungcheol driving forward until we found a small city, almost like a town.

the tense silence swallowing our thoughts away.

in the outskirts of the town, there was a motel that looked almost abandoned, not a single car in their parking lot. the only light was the large "motel" sign and the hallways of the small building

(a/n this isn't london at all but just bear with me)

once we stepped out of the car, seungcheol paused, glancing across the empty motel parking lot. "i don't like the vibe," the whisper left me. he locked the doors of the car after grabbing his bag and my own from the backseat, walking to my side to grab my hand and start walking towards the entrance.

there was an eerie silence following us since the pursuit, neither of us uttering a word, not because we were awkward, but because neither of us knew what to say.

we slipped through the entrance, being met with a woman in her forties at the entrance suddenly having a smile on her face at our appearance. i felt shivers run down my spine at the vibe of the place. "hello there! what can i do for you?" she smiled brightly, a strange accent with her words.

"a room for two," he placed money on the countertop, "will that be one bed, or two?" her eyes bouncing from him to me and back. he turned around and looked at me with an uncertain look in his eyes. "one" i nodded at him.

"one it is" the woman turned around and picked a room key from behind the counter.

to me, the woman looked animated, creepily excited to see us. but i suppose that's what you see at every motel in the middle of nowhere. i looked up to see seungcheol with a hardened expression, focused on nothing and everything.

the woman urged us to follow her through the entrance and up the stairs to our room.

as we passed different rooms, you could see people inside and a few people outside smoking their cigars; but still, there were no cars in the parking lot.

she finally brought us to the room farthest in the hall, the railing in front of the door looked rusted and unsteady like it would fall from a mere touch. the lights were broken, for the most part, flickering.

she looked at seungcheol with a smile and handed him the room key, my grip on seungcheol's hand tightening when the woman spoke a goodbye and walked past us and back to the lobby.

i could feel the eyes of the men we passed on me, sending another round of shivers down my spine.

"seungcheol..." i whispered. "let's not talk outside" he turned around and faced me, "let's talk inside after we check for cameras and voice recorders" he whispered in my ear, side glancing at the creeps staring at me. i was still in my school uniform that had a relatively short skirt.

"okay," he handed me the key and moved me in front of him so that his tall, lean, body was covering me.

i fumbled with the key in my hand and finally unlocked the door. when the door creaked open and seungcheol pushed it open from behind me, i smelled a waft of cigarettes and drugs; an unpleasant smell to the nose. i harshly blew air from my nose at the smell.

"c'mon," he placed a hand on my shoulder.

the inside was dark and musty, the walls looked like they had mold at the very corners of the room and the hanging mirror beside the door was broken but still intact. i felt like i couldn't touch anything without getting cooties.

some childhood habits never leave you.

seungcheol walked around the room after setting my school bag and his bag down beside the bed where i sat. he turned off all the lights and looked around for any small red lights; under the bed, in the mini-refrigerator, under the desk, in the end-table, under lamps, every crevice of the bathroom, everywhere. he even checked if the mirror was double-sided.

luckily he found nothing. no video recorders, audio. anything.

then, he turned to me, his hardened expression melting when he saw my scared expression. "is this going to be our lives?" i stood up from the bed. "are we going to spend the rest of our lives running, never setting roots in one place?" my hands were over my head waving aimlessly in the air.

"after this is dealt with everything is going to be okay. you'll get to finish school and go to the university of your choice, and hopefully, we'll find a way so that kai doesn't turn you into selene." he placed both his hands on the sides of my cheeks. "you're going to live a long happy life, areum. i can promise you that," he kissed the tip of my nose, his words of reassurance taking away 10% of my anxiety.

if only you knew...

reality is more painful than that.

"i'll call mingyu and tell him where we are," he now kissed my forehead and let me go, rummaging through his bag to find the phone.

i took that moment to soak everything in. this day has brought forth so many fears. the thought of being captured, used, tortured; the thought of the inevitable short life i will lead; the inevitable truth that i'm still just a weak girl.

but i threw away those negative thoughts, not wanting to spiral into the darkness of my own mind. there are so many things i can't control, but i focused on the things i could control; i was tired and dirty, my body coming off the adrenaline high i experienced a few hours ago.

i could hear seungcheol talking in the background, but i ignored it, standing up and walking towards the bathroom, hoping to find a clean bathrobe.

"i just want to be clean right now," i muttered out, opening the bathroom door.

the bathroom was visibly old and in need of repair, the top of the walls were molded, the counter had a few burn marks along with a cracked sink. the only visibly clean things were the towels and the two hanging bathrobes behind the door.

"at least that's promising." 

i turned on the bathroom shower and waited a moment for it to turn hot.

my reflection was messy and tired. the mascara i had on my eyes was now gunky and my hair was a long mess, the vest i wore and the tie was loose on my body, and the neat shirt i had tucked into my skirt was completely hanging. i was a mess.

i unbuttoned my vest and shirt, letting it fall on the floor as i took them off. every item of clothing that came off my body fell on the floor with it, exposing my body to myself.

i was honestly never truly comfortable with my skin. i was unsure if my body was normal. i was insecure and worried my body was different than others. i would often criticize myself, saying my waist was too big, not small enough, or that my arms were too skinny. i hated my body. i thought i looked ridiculous.

but when i looked at myself now, i didn't feel so ridiculous. i felt comfortable in my body. even though there were a few love marks on it, i thought i looked beautiful. happy even.

i picked up my dark locks with an extra scrunchy. (a/n i have no idea what they're actually called but in spanish i call them ligas) my hair has grown so much since the last time i cut it; three years ago. i cut it shoulder length but now it was at my mid waist and i've become so tired of it.

"it's too long" i spoke to myself.

the steam of the hot shower was beginning to show in my reflection, creating mist. i completely closed the door, seungcheol was still on call with mingyu.

they must have a lot to talk about i suppose.

i walked into the steaming shower, letting the waterfall down my body, relieved to feel the warmth. today the temperature was rather low for the season we're in, the temperature dropping as low as 38°, i had to wear tights under my skirt and wear a long jacket on top because of the weather.

the weather seemed to reflect my mood and what happened today.

the steam of the hot water calmed me down, it felt so relieving. almost as if all my problems would wash away. but the problems always come back.

something always draws me back to reality.

seungcheol walked into the bathroom, leaning on the wall in front of the shower, but not opening it.

"hey," he said, "are you okay?" i heard him sigh, "i haven't gotten the chance to ask you."

"i'm..." i looked down at my shaking hands for a moment, letting out a shaky breath, "fine. just tired," i opened the curtain the slightest bit to see his face.

"hm," he hummed, looking down at the ground. "aren't you going to shower too?" i mumbled the question.

"yeah," he started taking off his shirt.

🌷

after our shower, we went straight to sleep. i had no clothes with me so i have to sleep nude. not my favorite thing in the world because seungcheol had no clothes either, just like me.

but i woke up to a wonderful scene before me; our bodies were entangled with each other. we were facing each other, my legs wrapped around his waist and his body furling into my own, my hands were in his hair and his hands were tightly wrapped around my back.

he looked like a content child as he slept, his usual scowl gone like it never existed.

but that moment of peace was gone when someone started knocking on the door, loudly like they were planning on tearing the door down.

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