𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟞𝟡

-나는 그들의 것, 그들의 내 꺼야-

"anything" he chuckled loudly

i was left with my jaw open at his words

anything?

his words

it made me feel like i was just given the death sentence for something i hadn't done. for something i didn't do

his words echoed in my brain

it sounded like a broken record player...

it wouldn't stop repeating that terrible word

-author's pov-

kai's words basically killed her

at least, that's what it felt like to her

anything could trigger her transformation to the goddess selene

anything

a sound, a phrase, a kiss, a mere turn of a head...

anything

he kept talking but the words meant nothing to areum now

she was left in a state where her soul had left her body and she was looking at everything and everyone, but she couldn't speak or even hear

she couldn't process anything but that one word

"anything"

"...but most likely if you transition you'll become her... you'll become my love"

this sentence brought her back to reality

"if i turn... i'll become selene?" she muttered, her facial expression was one of emotionlessness

"pretty much" he drank the last of his drink and turned to look in her direction. the same smile still on his face

"don't look so down" he put his arm around her shoulder. "when you turn, i'll be with my love again" his voice was happy and playful

as if it was all but a joke to him

areum's life was but a joke

her life didn't matter to him. he only wanted her to become selene so that he can be with his soulmate again

he's been over this a thousand times over. he has met thousands of young women and watched them turn

and this was like any other to him

he only cared about selene and seeing her again

but areum was afraid

afraid to do anything now. she was afraid to move or even breath because she could loose who she is because of one small action

anything

one small gesture and she could loose who she is

she could lose the thirteen boys she loves so dearly

she could lose seungcheol, soonyoung, mingyu, jihoon, joshua, seungkwan...

all of them

that's what she was most afraid of

losing them

she was more afraid of that then of loosing herself to something she didn't choose. something she didn't have a choice in. it's something that fell on her. something she doesn't want

"you said most likely, so there's a small chance i won't turn into her?" she looked at the man that had his arm around her

his smile dropping and he moved away from her

"one time" he started, "i met one that was destined to become selene, just like you, and when she transitioned she didn't turn. so i killed her and waited for the next one to be born" he said, his face more serious than before, maybe even a little numb

"but... what happened to all the other women that did turn into her when they become v-vampires? did they all die?" she muttered and looked at the now more tempting drink in front of her

"they all died..." his voice kept getting lower with each word he spoke. "eventually, they all die. that's what's destined to happen. i'm forced to watch the woman i love die over and over again for eternity" he signaled the bartender for another drink as he spoke, "that's what i get for getting on apollo's bad side. he cursed us" his shoulders were slumped downward and his voice was now completely numb, just like his expression

"so don't worry. you won't be turning into her anytime soon"

kai's words brought a little hope inside areum

her expression turning from a numb one to one of shock

"what?" she muttered. her eyes wide with shock

"most of the time, when they turn into selene, they're in their mid-twenties. you have some time to enjoy life" he sighed, drinking the entire cup that the bartender had just refilled in one go

"you have time to enjoy a human life, before you're by my side for a few good decades" he turned to look at  her

his eyes were now filled with a different emotion

the alcohol influencing his emotions and making them like a rollercoaster

"can i kiss you?" he whispered

it was lust now

his eyes were full of lust want desperation to feel his loves lips again after almost two decades

"what?" areum stood up from her seat, no longer wanting to be near the man

"let me feel my loves lips, please" he asked again

"n-no! are you crazy!" she raised her voice a little, her figure no longer trembling

over the last few weeks her courage has risen. she's started becoming more confident despite everything

kai stood up from his seat and came closer to her. her steps were ragged and clumsy. the liquid courage her was drinking now taking it's greatest toll

she backed away as he started getting closer

but just when he was going to take her hands, someone stepped in

-areum's pov-

he was getting closer and closer to me

i was afraid of him, i don't want to be anywhere near him anymore

i now understand why he wants to see selene again, but i don't want to become her. i don't want to become a completely different person just for his sake. for the sake of a man that terrifies me to my very core

he loves her very much and he's watched her die thousands of time, but i'm not going to be like the other women. i don't accept this! i won't become selene just because he wants to be with her again. if this selene person is as amazing as i think she is, she wouldn't want young women's lives just to end because of him

i backed away from his as he grew closer

and just when he was going to grab my hands, someone got in the way

i felt a sense of relief when this person got in between us

at least he won't kiss me anymore

"she said no kai" i heard mingyu's voice

i looked up to see the tall figure to be mingyu

i felt a greater sense of relief when i realized it was him

"you always have to ruin the fun" i heard him drunkenly speak to mingyu

"get away from her kai" mingyu's voice demanded obedience from him. before, a few months ago, mingyu would have probably been on the other side of the room because kai would have made him go flying, but now that kai is drunk, he's reduced to a shadow of the power he usually holds over others

i heard him groan like a teenager that didn't get what he wanted, and i heard him walk away

the entire time i was staring at the ground, i was staring at mingyu's feet. too afraid to look anywhere else

after i heard kai walk away, mingyu turned around and held me tight

his around my small, once again, trembling, figure

"oppa" i whispered, inhaling his familiar scent and holding him close

"where's soonyoung?" he asked me over the still loud music

"he's at the table" i pointed towards the table i was previously sitting at with soonyoung and the other men

i turned to look. soonyoung was still talking to them, without a care in the world

"c'mon. i'm going to have a serious talk with him" he grumbled underneath his breath. he took my small, warm, hands in his cold hands

he dragged me to the table i was previously at like i weighted nothing

but my mind was still at kai's initially word

anything...

i could lose all of them at anything...

but, i still have some time. kai said mid-twenties, meaning i still have a few years

a few years left with them

but... i'll lose myself either way...

i can't just become her! i am someone! i matter! i deserve to have my own life! i've only just begun living again

i've only just began to enjoy life!

a few years isn't enough!

"soonyoung!" mingyu spoke harshly. i looked up to see his facial expression and it was one of anger and annoyance

we were standing in front of the table, soonyoung looking up at mingyu, surprised at his sudden appearance, almost just like me when i first saw him

"what happened?" he looked confused at my trembling state and an angry mingyu in front of him

mingyu snarled and grabbed his older brother by his hair, dragging him away from everyone and leaving me behind as well. soonyoung's face twisted with pain as mingyu walked away with him

everyone else at the table was shocked at their actions, just like me. people turned their heads to look at the scene that unraveled in front of me

when i realized that mingyu might hurt soonyoung i rushed towards them

mingyu must be so angry

he left me alone and kai started basically harassing me

but, why wasn't he watching me?

once i caught up to them, they were quite far away from everyone, you could no longer hear the loud music coming from where the people were, i realized what mingyu was doing, or rather did

he had punched soonyoung in the face and there was dry blood on his face already. because he was a vampire the wound had already healed but still they were glaring at each other

"guys?" i muttered as i reached their side. but they didn't respond

please don't fight anymore

"guys" this time i spoke a little louder, drawing their attention from each other, their eyes finally landing on me

"how long were you alone?" mingyu's face was pure anger, it was laced into his voice and his stance. it was intimidating to watch the usually soft mad get angry. people always say the nicest people are the scariest when their angry, but i didn't believe them until now. i backed away from them, almost a little afraid

mingyu's eyes were blood red and his nostrils were flaring from how harshly he was breathing, and soonyoung was glaring at his younger brother, dry blood falling from his nose, he too was breathing harshly, his eyes also red, just like mingyu

"i-it was only a few minutes" i tried to make the situation better than it was. sure he left me for a few minutes but i was surrounded by blood-thirsty vampires and i was the only human

looking at the situation now, i was in a lot more danger than i thought i was

"those few minutes was enough for kai to try to kiss you" he harshly yelled at me

he turned his head to soonyoung again, his facial expression had changed. it was one of shock now

he was unaware of what had happened to me and it surprised him. he thought i was fine, but i wasn't

"but i'm fine n-nothing happened!" i argued with him

"he left you unattended areum! he said he would take care of you and he didn't!" he yelled back, looking at his older brother again

"he tried to kiss you?" he asked, still flabbergasted

"he was drunk. h-he didn't know what he was doing" i argued again. despite my fear of him, i know he's a powerful man. if mingyu or soonyoung try to attack kai, he would kill them

so i defended him

"that doesn't excuse his actions!" he yelled at me

now it was like both of them were angry at me. but i'm sure they don't mean for it to seem that way, right?

"please. soonyoung, let it go. he could kill you!" i said to him, "i saw what he did to mingyu with a mere flick of his wrist, i don't want you guys to get hurt!" i yelled at them

i may be some weak human to them, but i can still protect them in some ways

mingyu sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose

"she's staying by my side for the rest of the evening. clearly you can't be trust with her" he scowled at soonyoung. "what are you talking about?" he retorted back, "you left her alone, soonyoung. you were lucky i arrived when i did. what do you think would have happened if i hadn't arrived when i did!?" he argued again

"he would have probably had his way with me" i whispered as i looked at the ground, realizing how weak i am compared to the ancient people

"why don't-" i stopped myself for a second, thinking about my next words properly. "why don't you train me to protect myself" i suggested

"no" soonyoung clearly said. "you have us. you don't need to learn to fight when we're around" he stated and walked away

he made up his mind about it, but i still had hope about it

i turned to look at mingyu

"don't even try to convince me, i'm not budging" he said just like soonyoung

i slumped my shoulders, defeated

when they say no, they mean no

i looked up at his tall figure. his face was still harsh, but he'll always look like the sweet guy i know he is. i slowly walked towards him, thinking back to what kai said. anything, i shuddered. i could lose him at anything

i brought my hand up to his cheek, his facial expression softening at my warm hands

he placed his hands over my own, taking in the heat of them. "what did he tell you?" he asked me

"you look scared" he continued

my eyes tears up. sad to see his reaction to my next few sentences

i could turn into selene at any moment... i could lose you guys at any moment

if i say that... he'll be heartbroken...

i can't tell him

i can't tell any of them

"n-nothing" i shook my head, sniffling

"then why are you crying?" he put his hands on either side of my cheeks, caressing then softly

"he's just scary" i chuckled without humor. i hugged him tight so he wouldn't see my crying state

"are you sure?"

i don't want to talk about this anymore

"yes, i'm sure" i mustered up a small smile, trying to reassure him that i'm fine

i can't possibly tell them. i don't want to break their hearts...

my heart already feels broken because of the situation

this situation nobody asked for

this is something i don't deserve

i may not be a good person or a bad person. i might just drift into anything that happens, i might just drift through life, not really fighting for anything in this life. but i don't deserve this

i don't deserve to have my entire life taken away from me before it's even begun. i don't deserve to have the people i love stripped away from me!

i don't know how i'm going to fight this, but i have to. so that i can keep them

so i can keep the men i love so dearly

i have to fight for once

i didn't realize but tears kept falling from my eyes, despite my reassuring smile i was still crying like a lost child, trying to find her mother, who is nowhere to be found

"c-can we just stay l-like this a little longer?" i pulled him close again, burying my face in his chest, wishing this wasn't the reality i lived in

a/n i'm posting this sooner than i planned (originally it was gonna be next week) but since i'm literally starting school tomorrow it's going to take me a little longer to post chapters. so this is a present?? i don't know how to word it. also please stay safe everyone!l❤️ covid is getting real real

-like and comment--word count : 2675-