𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟜𝟜

-나는 그들의 것, 그들은 내 꺼야-

"m-myungho oppa! i'm ready!" i yelled out to myungho. letting him know i was ready for him to come in and start to dress me for tonight

the moment i said i was ready, he knocked on my door surprising me

"can i come in?" "didn't i just s-say i was ready?"

he walked into the room, scanning the entirety of it and looking at me up and down, "you reek of seungcheol hyung" he scrunched his nose and brought his hand to it, slightly rubbing it

"sorry" i mumbled with a weak smile

i looked at him for a moment, realizing he had something in his other hand, "here, put this on" he handed me the item of clothing

i looked over it, slightly confused, "what is it?"

"it's one of my old suits, you're going to wear it. you have to trust me on this one" he gave me an encouraging smile and walked a little closer to me, "go in the bathroom and put it on, and don't forget to button it completely" he turned me around and urged me to walk to my bathroom, leaving me no time to dispute is request

🌷

i looked in the mirror for a moment with a skeptical expression, not sure of what i was wearing, "is this right?" i mumbled with a small pout

"I don't know, let me see it first" i was startled by his voice, he was on the other side of the door and was able to hear me

"o-okay, i'm coming out" i slowly made my way to the door and opened it but not before i got another glance of what i was wearing in the mirror

he looked at me up and down, deciding whether it looked good. "let me just put this on" he camecloser to me with a white belt

he urged me to put my hands up and he started putting the belt around my waist

"how are your nightmares?" he said while tying the belt, "they're... there" i let out a sigh

the nightmares were just, there. nothing more to it. they were still haunting me in the night and not allowing me to sleep

"have they gotten better?" he asked me, as his hand rested on my waist, surprising me a little. "in a way yeah. they calmed down a bit, but they're still there" i said with a disheartened voice

"do you remember some of them?" he looked deep into my eyes, his eyes were always so soft when he spoke to me. "i remember flashes of the dreams. like what the people in my dreams said and such. but the grand majority of it is a blur to me"

"what do you remember?" he rested his other hand on my cheek, "the woman who i think is my mother, she called me areum. she said even though they had already given me a name, i will always be her little areum" i looked at his chest as the words left my mouth, my eyebrows furrowing. confused on how the woman knew my name before the guys gave me my name

"who's 'they'?" he too had a confused face. "I don't know, i think it was the old lady and the man behind her maybe?" it came out as more of a question than a statement

"do you remember their faces?" "not very well. they're mostly blurs as well" i looked up again, seeing all the features of his face closely

"sorry for asking so many questions. it just feels like i haven't had an honest conversation with you on a while" he had an apologetic smile on his face

it's true. he and i haven't talked in a while. we haven't had a heart to heart like we used to when i was younger. since they've come back the closest thing to having a deep conversation with him was when we were in china, but that was cut short after the explosion

"it's okay, i feel the same way" i returned his smile with another, he pulled away for a moment and looked at my outfit, making sure it looked good

"it looks good" he turned me around gently and made me look in a mirror

what she was wearing: (you can imagine her wearing something else, i just really like this outfit)

"it really does look good" i turned around and give him another bright smile, he returned it for a moment before it faded, and so did mine seeing his expression

he gently grabbed my hands and turned them over so they were face up. exposing my scars

i gasped when i realized what he was doing, "can you tell me about them? the scars?" his eyebrows turned in concern

"how did you even see them? most of the time i have them covered up, only cheol reallyknows about them" i wore confusion on my face, "i was the one that told seungcheol about them. i saw them on christmas, at the celebration kai was holding" he answered tracing the marks softly

"so, can you tell me about them?"

he had a kind expressions, full of worry and concern

i've kept the marks on my wrist a secret since i made them on my skin. only soonyoung, joshua, and seungcheol know about them. maybe i should start telling all of them, so that i won't carry the burden of the secrets alone

so that i can talk to them about my troubles. all of them

🌷

slowly, i began explaining to him what had happened to me. what i went through. the pain of loosing them, the feeling of never seeing them again and never being able to speak to them or hug them again. it was a dark time for me. when i couldn't see the end

where i couldn't find the light at the end of the tunnel. but then i realized i had the other guys with me. seungkwan, seokmin, jihoon, joshua, soonyoung, and jun. i had all of them and it took me a long time to realized they were also there for me

all thirteen of them are the pillars of my life. they are the ones that keep me standing tall. they are my happiness and they are in all my memories. i can't imagine a world without them

one day i hope i can repay them in some way...

"you always have us, and we aren't leaving again. i promise" he told me, pulling me into a hug with both his arms around me. holding me close

"i know, and thank you for it" i said back with my face to his chest, he pulled back and lifted my chin with his hand, making me look up at him

the unknown expression in his face gave me butterflies in my stomach. he leaned down, planting a soft kiss on my lips. leaving me surprised

"I love you" he whispered planting another kiss on my lips

"all i want is for you to be happy. that's all i wish" he whispered looking deep into my eyes, they were full of compassion and love

"all you want is for me to be happy?" i whispered back, replaying the words again and again in my head, trying to comprehend what he was saying. my brain refused to understand what he said, what all of them have been saying for so long to me

"all you want is for me to be happy" i whispered for a second time, his eyes shifted to concern, "hey, are you okay?" his hands moved to both my cheeks

"i-if you really want for me to be happy, don't make me choose" i told him. i finally said what i've been wanting to say for a long time now, longer than i've known i've wanted to say. my eyes filled with small tears

after vernon and seungcheol confessed i knew i was going to have to choose. deep down i knew i would have to, because if i choose it would leave them heartbroken, and it might ruin their relationship. i never wanted that. they all have a precious relationship with each other that has lasted seven hundred years. i don't want to ruin that

my heart won't let me...

"where is this coming from, areum?" his words were caring

"please. i know none of you have asked me to choose yet, but i know eventually i will have to. i don't want to do that to you all. i can't break your hearts or my own, so please don't make me choose" i grabbed onto his shirt, wrapping my fingers around it, tears falling out of my eyes, almost panting from saying it all in one breath

"areum-" he tried to say something but i interrupted him, "mingyu oppa told me that i don't have to if i can't or don't want" i cried out to him

"we have never asked you to choose, and we won't make you if you don't want, love" he pulled me into his chest, trying to make me stop crying

🌷

he tried his best to calm me down, he was able to but he couldn't get me to stop hiccuping from all the crying, he spoke caring things to me, calming me down with his words. eventually he brought my shoes into the room and took me to a vanity where he started to do my makeup

"since when do you know how to do makeup?" i whispered, my eyes slightly stained from the tears, "i've always done it, i've just never done it on you"

i chuckled lightly, "what're you going to do?" "nothing special, just a natural look" he pressed his lips into a smile

the makeup, hair, shoes:

"thank you. for all of this" i pointed to everything on the vanity, "and thank you for comforting me" i put my head up to look at him, he was standing behind me, his hands on my shoulders. he leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead

him too, i guess...

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