HEARTBREAK

"Doesn't she look pretty?" Jimin's eyes adore your charming features while something burns in Jungkook's heart. 

No, only I am allowed to say that!

Controlling his veins popping up, balling his fists he looks away. 

'Control… He didn't mean it in the wrong way,' he tries to calm his nerves. Whereas Jimin didn't fail to notice that scorching gaze of your husband. And he wanted this.

He said that to get a reaction from his best friend. He wants to know if there's something in Jungkook's heart for you or not and if it's there… he wants him to confess before he loses himself.  Jimin won't be able to control himself after stepping his foot in your oceanic love, he will fail to find shore then and better was to step away before striding in. 

Your hand loses contact with his neck and falls while Jungkook doesn't fail to hold it. His gaze studies the ring decorating your ring finger as a sigh of relief washes over him. The only thing which belongs to him on you, near you. 

"I will get her to bed," Jimin suggests, making his best friend nod in agreement.

As they both settle you on your bed, Jungkook pulls the duvet over your form, making you warm. Both of them walk out by switching the lights off.

"Wanna grab a drink?" Jungkook asks, a smirk playing on his edges. Jimin slaps the younger one's arm as they head towards the bar counter in the house. 

"You know she heard your melody," Jimin giggles, teasing his friend. Jungkook nods, pouring the whiskey in two glasses. 

"And? Didn't she ask about the lyrics?" His curiosity grew. He wanted you to take interest in his life as much as he does. 

"She didn't. But I guess she considered that melody is for… umm, Sarang. And the lyrics are still remaining to be added which can raise her insecurities more, kook," he hissed, taking a sip of the sour drink. Jungkook nods, thinking a lot.

The song was for you. The essence of the music belongs to you. The lyrics which he was trying to pen were for you… just for you. He made that song after your dad's death when you two grew closer. He wants this to be his first gift for you.

Oh, how he wished to announce that everything about that song belongs to you… from the man, songwriter to the letter of the lyrics, everything.

•~🍃~•

"Good morning," his rough voice echoes through the kitchen, almost scaring you in the early morning. You turn around and threaten him with the knife for frightening you while he laughs.

"What's for breakfast?" He asks, entering inside. 

"Umm… French toast with a strawberry milkshake," you grin, being proud of yourself while he nods.

He reaches behind your figure and towers above you. He notices how you cook and how you serve the plate. You were too busy to even acknowledge his presence behind you until he rested his chin over your shoulder. Your body froze, hands falling on the counter while your breathing hitched in your guts. 

This bastard can hear my hasty heartbeats…

"You okay? You know, I like this… I like being near you. This calm aura surrounding us. Your sweet cologne steadying my worries… everything. I like everything when you are near," he blurted out, not even realizing, not even speaking what he practised tons of times in the shower. He spoke what his heart felt at the moment, truth.

And it might have taken him months or years more to confess this but hearing how you felt insecure about the song, he did it anyway. It doesn't matter if it's too early or too late… he just wants your insecurities to fade. 

You felt your heart skipping its beat, you felt. The small organ clenched in every emotion hearing his words while your eyes brimmed with freshly formed pearls. It might not mean so much to him but it meant everything to you. You controlled hard to not let those tears roll down your eyes.

"Are you comfortable, y/n? Are you happy?" He asks, his voice dipping lower in concern while you shut your eyes tightly. Your teeth dug in your lower lip as you tried to restrain yourself. 

No. It shouldn't go like this. It shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't be this weaker. I shouldn't be falling. I shouldn't be crying. 

Feeling something going wrong, he leans closer to check on you. He noticed a tear slipping down the cheek, stabbing his heart. 

"Hey, hey… shhh… it's okay. It's okay, sweetie. Shhhh… don't cry, please," he panics, turning you around while his hand reaches your cheeks. Your flesh burns under his warmth as he cups them gently, just like someone holding a rare petal. 

"Please don't cry. I am sorry. I promise I won't hurt you again, please don't cry… I won't step near you, I swear… just don't cry," he begs, his eyes tearing up. But he was strong, too strong. 

He managed the heartbreak, the wound Sarang gave… maybe he will survive this too.

You shake your head and your gaze shifts to meet his worried one. He wouldn't lie, he lost all his senses when you looked at him with that soft gaze.

"Don't leave…" are the only words left from your mug. 

I will leave. Don't break me… let me go...

Tears escaped his blurry stare as he pulled you in a tight hug. You were miserable, too miserable and he knows that. At that moment, he promised not to leave you alone, never. He knows the fear of losing someone so special, so close to your heart. You lost both the people you had in your heart and he knows the trauma was too much for you. But he was more than glad that you were ready to give him a chance. It doesn't matter if he'll win your heart or not, he will always do his best to keep you safe and happy. 

But were you really giving him a chance?

"I won't. Trust me. I am here. You are here. Just us. Please don't cry," he rubs your back, calming your muscles while you melt under his warmth. Your shaking hands made their way to his waist, clutching on his shirt. A small smile escaped on his edges, feeling those grips on him.

I'll be yours… just declare that.

"I'm sorry. Sorry for hurting you so much," he apologizes. 

He is with Eunji, y/n!!! Come to your senses! Please! Back away… please I beg you, back away before his thorns prick you more… back away before you die…

Your inner voice brings you out of the imaginational world. The world where you thought everything will fall into places, everything will be wonderful from now. But life is way more different than imagination. 

You pulled out of the hug. Staring at him, you tried to hate him. Hate him so you can leave before he does. 

His knuckles graze your cheekbone, shuddering you under him. 

"Are you good now?" He asks, his soft voice. 

"Why?" You ask, stepping back… Away from his touch. You wished you could step away from his life too. His brows creased in confusion as he stared at you. 

"Y/n…" you cut him off.

"Why do you have to do this? Why are you doing this? What do you want!!!" You raise your voice, stepping so away that your back hits the counter. 

"Me? Wanting something from you? Are you in your senses?" He raises a question, hearing your stupid suspicions.

"No? You say you like being with me… but you like being Eunji with too. You say you like my cologne but you love her cologne too. You say everything, WE are calming whereas everything around her is perfect for you… isn't it, Jungkook? Answer me," you beg. Maybe when he breaks you miserably, you would be able to hate him, you would be able to forget how much love and care he gave you in these months.

He freezes at his place. Hearing your words, he doesn't know what to say. Who fed you with these lies? Who? His heart breaks. He felt he was put behind the bars without committing a crime. You didn't even try to ask him… you just blamed him. You blamed him to a point where you hurt yourself too. And he hated that more.

I wish I was holding you by my side…

His soft haze hardens as he composes himself. Taking a deep breath, he steps back.

"I never lied to you. Take that as my answer," he says before leaving the room while your tears streamed down continuously. He leaves the home just like that slamming the door with a loud thud. He wasn't in his senses and it was better to be away from you for now. 

'Yes, Kook, keep going!'

'Yess honey… you like this, don't you? You like me buried deep inside you, don't you?'

'I love that, kook! Ahh…!'

'Hmmm, your Cologne… I am in love with that,'

'Just for you… sh#t'

'Can never get enough of you,' 

"No!! No!! No!!" You cover your ears, sliding down the shelves as you land on the floor. Your sobs turned into whimpers, painting the once quiet house with painful voices.

Jungkook punched the steering wheel as he drove to an unknown destination. He doesn't know where he was driving to. He just wanted to forget your insults. He felt that you entered his heart just to poke the knife at the most wounded place of it. Wiping his face hard, he composed himself. Burning the cigarette placed in one of the pouches he lights it up. The scorching smoke damages his insides while his raging heart calms. 

"You say you like being with me… but you like being with Eunji too!"

"Fvking lie… " he curses, blowing the smoke. 

"You say you like my cologne but you love her cologne too,"

"No!"

"Why can't you understand! Why can't you understand that I never thought of her, never went to her, never touched her after our marriage!" The smoke blew in his guts, making him cough. Throwing the cigarette, he pulls the car over to the side. Tears streamed down like a cascade, allowing him to feel the same pain again.

'I'm leaving…'

'Sarang, please… I'll try to talk to my dad,'

'No Jungkook, you don't understand me! Tell me what should I do? Where should I go? Kook, you belong to a rich family… I don't. If I reject this proposal god knows with whom I'll end up. I don't want my kids to go through what I've gone through… and you are too not trying to help me. At least give me an assurance that you'll take over the company, you'll give me, my kids every happiness,'

'I promise…'

'Promise when you have the money and company in your pocket! I'm leaving… but I'll wait. Because I loved you, and I love you…'

"No! She didn't. And she left me and now you are leaving too. Why the hell no one wants to understand me!! Why do I have to be the one always! Why do I fall in love so easily! Why do I think everyone is pure when all they do is use me!!" 

He buried his head in his lap, sobbing, whimpering for warmth that he didn't get. 

Why is it so hard to love someone? Why does that 'someone' have to be him?

•~🍃~•

The moon took over the sky, hiding the sun rays while two hearts wished to hide their pain the same way by showing their toughest sides. 

You came out of shower with a massive headache. Your eyes were swollen, your voice turned rough, almost gone. While your limbs were tired. You just wanted to fall into a deep slumber but you couldn't fall asleep. Your brain and heart just wanted to see that man once before closing eyes.

It was past eleven and your heart was worrying about him. You tried to call him, asked Jimin to search for him but there was no response. And just when you feel that he won't be coming home tonight… the doorbell rings.

'Finally,' you muttered with a heavy heart. 

How poor my heart is… wishes for his safety while standing on a knife…

As you stepped down the stairs, you couldn't help but feel a strong unknown feeling in the back of your throat. Somewhere asking you to not walk more. But you did anyway. You can't keep him outside the house.

As your hand grazes over the doorknob, the frame which captured your and his marriage photo breaks into pieces. 

One more indication of his to leave this marriage…

Wiping the tears, you twist the doorknob. 

"Jungkook?" 

::::::::::::::::::::

The storm just knocked on the boat, throwing one loose edge of it in the water before one holds it...