K35 "Bars & Wall"

LISA'S POV

"Finally! I've been waiting here for an hour Lice" Yoon-gi oppa said as soon as I enter the house.

We spend the night at Chaesoo's unit and it's just 7:11 in the morning. Our shoot will start at 8 and our call time is actually 7 to 7:30.

This is Rosé fault. If she didn't play her guitar we wouldn't end up singing until sunrise.

We had fun though. One night with less sleep is nothing when you spent it creating a simple but amazing memory.

"Good morning too oppa" I greeted him. "Not in the mood early in the morning?"

"Lice you'll have shoot in less than an hour. Have you read the email that I have sent you?"

"Yes oppa thank you. I'll get myself ready now" I said then walk to my room.

I didn't read the whole script that he sent me. But I read the highlight.

And it's not really surprising.

I'm actually waiting for this to happen.

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We are on the way now. We are using oppa's car again. I feel sleepy but my mind keeps my system active.

"So how was your night with the girls?" Oppa asked while his focus is on the road.

"It was great" I said plainly.

Don't get me wrong okay. We really have a great night, like what I told you earlier.

It's just that there is something going on in my mind right now.

I already expected things to happen but it seems like I'm still not ready for it.

"Are you still mad at him for leaving you behind?" Oppa asked probably hinting what's in my mind.

"No, never did I get mad." I stated. "You know how I'm used to it oppa. People leaving me behind, not new to that" I added letting out a soft laugh.

"Not because you are used to, doesn't mean it won't hurt you anymore. You're maybe not mad but I know your mind is filled with questions" He said in a serious calm tone.

"Well I think those questions have already been answered by his actions oppa. Simple us, he doesn't love me anymore."

He hummed and I saw him topping the steering wheel with his finger, and I know he's unconsciously doing because of something. "How about  you? Do you still love him?"He asked and it got me thinking.

The question is, did I really loved him?

I do, that's what I thought, but I realized that it is a different kind of love, not the love that I thought it is.

I shook my head no "I guess that's the reason why I'm not mad at him. I felt like I don't have the right to. It was my fault in the first place. I loved the idea of him being with me. I got blinded, overwhelmed by the feeling of being cared, the way he makes me happy and comfortable. I fell------ well I thought I did, but the truth is........."

"You're afraid" he stated. He probably get what I mean. I hate to admit it, but it is true.

I didn't answer back.

"I know, you are Lice. I know that everything you've been through, it's hard for you to trust, to just let someone enter into your life without the fear and doubt, but I'm here Lice, we are here, we'll help you get out of the past that's keeping you behind bars."

I know oppa. I know you're are just there for me.

But that's not the thing.

There are still hidden truths that's keeping me on my place.

I have already escaped the past and now I'm a prisoner of my present. And they are the one who keeps me behind bars.

I know oppa have his reasons.

I trust Yoon-gi oppa. I'm just waiting for him to tell me the whole truth.

I'll get myself ready for that day.

I shook my head again not wanting to go further "Can we stop oppa? It's too early for a heart to heart talk. And stop worrying about my love life cause I am the one worried about yours" I joke trying to shift the topic and to lighten up the mood here in the car cause it's kinda getting serious. Knowing I won't get the answer I've been waiting to hear.

Oppa looked at me with his usual pokerface.

"You surely knows how to ruin a serious conversation" him showing me his attitude.

I just laughed at him.

"But I'm serious Lice. Really."

"I know you are. Don't worry too much oppa. I'll adopt more cats so I won't grow old alone" He let out a chuckle

"No you're not going to be alone even if things didn't work. I want you to know that I'm always here. You are like my sister and I hope you'll understand everything soon." He said whispering some of the words that I heard unclear.

I kept my focus outside the window.

Feel free to hide oppa.

"Thank you oppa" I just answered. You're still my oppa, whatever your reason is I will listen to you and try to understand everything.

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We already arrived here in the set which is an academy.

The 'X Academy' in the series. Mr. Yang own this also.

"Good morning!" Bambam greeted me "You're late" he said then encircled his arm on my shoulder.

"You are just early."

"What did you do last night noona? With that sleepy eyes, I can tell you had fun." He said and his smile is annoying me. It's not a smile, more like a smirk.

No wonder why Jennie unnie was always annoyed to me back then.

Bambam being an annoying friend. In deed, birds with same feather flocks together. Maybe just by smiling people can get annoyed to us.

Anyway I raise my eyebrows "Yes I did. We did" I said, then walk pass him.

My eyes are looking for something.

Something?

Nah for someone rather.

"She's not here yet. Did you tired each other last night? You girls forgot that you have commitment today? I know you two are committed to each other but------" I stopped him before he can even finish. He talk too much today.

"I know you miss me but you don't have to talk too much nonsense. And don't worry I didn't forget about your invitation yesterday we'll hangout after the shoot." I stated with matching poker face.

But he just laugh at me shaking his head from left to right. "You can invite her if you want, I don't mind being a third wheel" he suggested.

I turn to face him and he's just giving me a meaningful smile."Why is that?" He's up with something I can tell.

He smiled sweetly. "I just want to know her personally--- you know just want to protect you" I furrowed my brow at his answer.

I look at him bored "I don't get you"

"Bestfriend duty" then he winked.

"I still don't understand" sometimes not having enough sleep isn't really good. I am being impatience right now "She's not a killer just to inform you" and slow

"I know, but she's slowly taking your heart"

"Can you go straight to your point"

"I just want to know if it's the cupid's work or just some of your work related thing"

I faced palm. "Am I being too slow for not getting what you mean?"

"Hays noona. People are really fool in love, that's what I mean." Isn't that supposed to be fall in love, not fool? Just some random question going on my head "I hope Jennie unnie isn't just being professional cause I know you're falling and I don't want you to get hurt." Bam added

"Oh, now I get it. Don't worry to much. What we have right now, either as for work or not, I don't care." I shrugged as if it was just nothing "Like the old ways, enjoy while it's still there and let go if it's time to let go."

"You're still the same eh. I hope Jennie unnie will be the right one to break that invisible wall that surrounds you"

"Ha? There's none. No wall to break."

"There is, stop protecting it noona."

I look at him with an unsure smile. "Letting it down is synonymous of getting hurt. And I thought you just want to protect me, why do you want me to let my guard down?"

"Yes I want to protect you but at the same time I want you to be happy. And with that invisible wall I don't think that's possible. I am your bestfriend but I still feel you don't trust me enough, you are keeping yourself away from us noona. You take everything on your own even if it's weight you so bad. You love to hide that even you can't find yourself."

I was silent hearing everything he just said.

What's happening?

First Yoon-gi oppa and now Bambam.

And their point is to tell me to let myself free.

Which I am right?

I am free. I just don't forget that there is this thing called limit and every start has its ending.

I look at Bam keeping myself silent still thinking of an answer.

"The shoot haven't started but your already throwing a dramatic line" I just said.

They are making me confused.

And now I am questioning myself.

------------------------------------Thank you for reading!

Love you!Take care.