𝐭𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧

𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫

Paul and I were sitting in my room, much like we had been these past few months. Only this time it felt a bit... awkward. I didn't know what to say or do, I felt too confused about the whole thing and since talking with Bella I felt... guilty.

I know I shouldn't feel guilty, that there wasn't anything to feel guilty about. But her shame and the look she gave me when I told her about Paul... it made me question everything. Like, was it too soon to move on from Emmett? I stood by what I said at her house. Emmett left me and shouldn't have a say in what I do or who I see. But part of me does and always will feel loyal to him due to our bond.

But Paul and I have a bond too. One that's just as deep and confusing as the one with Emmett. Did that overrule any confusion? Did it make it all okay because we were bound together by a supernatural force? Did that overrule any breakup etiquette?

I didn't know how to talk to Paul about any of it, either. I didn't want to make him feel bad for our imprint bond, because it wasn't something either of us could control. I also don't want to make him feel like I'm still hung up on Emmett, because... well, I can't say I'm not hung up on the vampire, because a part of me always will be. Ugh, I just don't know what to do with any of this.

I let out a breath and lean against my headboard. Paul was sitting in the chair at the foot of my bed, his eyes half closed. He just got off of a four day patrol at the boarder and was exhausted. But he still came to see me instead of going home.

He look uncomfortable in the chair that was a bit too small for him, his shoulders slouched and his neck kinked. There's no way he was comfortable like that.

"Come here," I finally say with a sigh, shifting on the bed so that I was pressed against the wall. I lift the blankets and pat the bed beside me. "You need to get some sleep."

Paul looks at me for a moment. "Are you sure?"

I raise a brow, my lips tugging into a smile, "Paul, we've been sharing a bed for the last two months, it's okay."

Paul chuckled but stood up from the bed and came over to the bed, carefully lying down beside me. The heat from his body instantly warmed me and I instinctively curled against him, seeking his warmth.

I slowly turned onto my side and laid my head down on his chest, my arm draping over his stomach. "Is this okay?" I asked quietly when I felt him tense beneath me.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable," Paul's voice came out as a whisper. 

I smiled to myself, my body and mind relaxing for the first time in days. I shouldn't be worried about what I'm supposed to be doing or what's wrong or right. Paul is mine just as much as Emmett was mine. The only difference is Emmett isn't here anymore and Paul always has been. He cares for me in ways that no one else ever has. I shouldn't overthink that. 

 "You're not..." I tilt my head up to look at him, meeting his hazel brown eyes in the dark, "I'm right where I want to be."

At my words Paul relaxed, his arm moving to wrap around my back, pulling me closer to him. "Good, I like where you are."

I smiled in response, ducking my head down against his chest to hide my blush that I was sure he could see anyways. Damn shifter senses.

We laid like that in silence for awhile, before I decided to voice my concerns, finally working up the courage to talk to him like I always have. "I talked to Bella the other day..."

"Yeah? How is she doing? Still moping about her bloodsucker," Paul teased. He thought Bella was ridiculous for being so broken up about Edward, especially after I told him about the whole blood singer thing.

"She's still as depressed as ever but... I talked to her about you," I hold my breath waiting for his reaction, and it's ridiculous because I'm his imprint and he won't care but still, I couldn't help but feel nervous. 

Paul's hand on my back made a soothing motion, rubbing against my skin, as if he could sense my nerves and he was trying to soothe them away. "Oh? What about?"

I let out a breath and decide to just spit it all out, tell him about all my worries because, honestly? He was the only person in the world who would be able to help me through this.

"I told her that things were different between us, that... I have feelings for you--obviously I didn't tell her about the imprint bond or anything but, when I told her about it all, she got mad. She said I was 'cheating on Emmett' and that when he comes back he won't want me... and I know that shouldn't matter because he left me but... I don't know, this whole thing is so confusing and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do, or feel..."

I lift my head to look at Paul, worried that my words might make him feel insecure or something, but his face is relaxed. He tucks a piece of my hair behind me ear, his touch gentle.

"Liv, if fate didn't want you to have two mates, they would have given you one." He says simply, his voice even and calm, which is a bit surprising for Paul given his hot head tendencies. "I'm not sure why you got both of us, maybe there's a reason we don't see yet... but nothing about it is wrong okay? Don't let Bella make you feel bad. And if Emmett ever does come back, then he'll have to be okay with it too."

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and I felt it. I felt my connection with Paul deeper than I'd ever felt it before. It was woven into my soul just as deeply as Emmett's was. And just how I couldn't deny Emmett, I didn't want to deny Paul. I wanted him and I was so tired of denying myself and him due to what Emmett did. 

Without questioning myself or my actions I leaned forward, my face inches from Paul's. I could hear his breath catch in his throat and my eyes dropped down to his lips for a moment before I closed the distance.

Kissing Emmett was like ice in my veins, shocking me until my entire body was lit up, every nerve ending set on edge. But this wasn't like that. It was different but just as amazing.

Kissing Paul was like a fire that burned through me, making my entire body feel alive. My heart was racing in an instant and I knew one kiss would never be enough with him, not now that I knew what was between us.

I pulled back from the kiss, my breath suddenly gone as I met his hazel brown eyes that were so warm and so familiar. Paul's hand moved to the side of my face, his touch warm and gentle. He'd always been so gentle with me, even before. I never understood it because he was always so passionate, always so fiery and hot headed. But with me, he treated me like glass.

Some part of me wanted him to snap, to have him ravish me. The thought of it had my heart kicking up. My hand slid up his chest until I was holding the back of his neck and pulling his lips to mine again. 

I kissed Paul like my life depended on it, like I was dying and he was the only thing that could save me. It took him a moment to respond, he was still trying to kiss me slow and gentle, but I bit hit bottom lip with my teeth and that seemed to do it.

His hand fisted my hair while the other pulled my body flush against his and he kissed me. He really kissed me.

Paul's tongue was in my mouth and his teeth clashed against mine in a messy kiss that was so perfect. He rolled us over so that he was on top of me, pinning me to the mattress and I was pulling him closer, wanting to feel every inch of him against me. I felt his sent and his soul intertwining with my own and I never wanted it to end.

But we had to breathe at some point. Paul broke the kiss, his head dropping to rest against mine, his breath was ragged and mingling with my own as we caught our breaths. I could feel his heart pounding against his chest, matching the beat of my own. 

This was the boy I'd loved since middle school. My best friend since childhood. My first kiss, my first time, and my mate. And there was something so beautiful about it, something so perfect. I knew I belonged to him because it made sense. Nothing ever made as much sense as this.

But fear clawed at the back of my mind, reminding me that even the most perfect things can break you. My grip on the back of his neck tightened and I met his eyes in the dark. "Promise you'll never leave me," I whispered, my voice shaky and vulnerable.

Paul's brows knitted together and his thumb brushed across my cheek, "Liv, I'm not going anywhere."

And I believed him. With ever fiber of my being I believed him. Because Paul had never lied to me and when he made a promise, he always kept it. So I nodded and relaxed, "okay."

He placed a kiss to my forehead and then moved to lay down beside me, pulling me against him. "Get some sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

I snuggled into Paul's side, getting comfortable, my eyes falling closed. "Goodnight, Paul." I whispered.

"Goodnight, Liv," he responded, his chest vibrating beneath my head.

The next day I was working in the garage with Jake. He was fixing up the Rabbit and I was being so helpful by watching him. I was sitting on a box, watching as he worked under the hood of the car, handing him tools every so often.

"How's Bella doing?" He asked after awhile. Mind you, Jacob always asked me this question at one point or another. He'd been obsessed with her since she moved back to Forks last February and now that Edward was out of the picture, my brother was eager to make a move.

Usually I gave him a whole run down of how she was doing but, this time the mention of Bella put a frown on my face. She hadn't reached out once since our fight, which is so on brand for her right now.

It's frustrating because I've been there for her every single day of the Cullen's being gone. I dragged my ass out of bed--when I was literally dying--to make sure she was okay. I called and texted daily despite her never answering. I sat with her for hours even though she never said a word and for her to say the things she said to me? 

It was hurtful and it made me angry.

Jake must notice my silence since he quickly pulls his head out from under the hood and looks at me, his brows furrowing. "Something wrong? You're making a face."

"I'm not making a face," I defend, shaking my head. I was definitely making a face.

Jake laughs, "no, you're definitely making a face."

I let out a sigh, "Fine, I'm making a face." Then after a beat, "Bella and I got in a fight."

Jake's eyebrows raise in surprise and I can't say I blame him. Bella and I had been friends for years and we never fought. The closest we came to fighting was over the Cullen's and that was just a small discussion and nothing big. This was different.

"So, you know how I've been hanging out with Paul lately?" I say, starting to explain the whole reason for Bella and I's fight without delving into any supernatural information--because despite my wanting to tell my brother everything, Paul and my dad have made it crystal clear that I can't share anything until and unless Jacob shifts.

Jacob nods, moving to sit against the car, giving me his full attention.

"Well, I went to talk to Bella about it, and she basically told me that I was," I hold up my hands, using air quotes, "'cheating on Emmett' and 'he won't want me when he gets back.'" I shake my head, letting out a breath. 

His eyes widen in surprise and then narrow in anger, "who cares what Emmett thinks anyways. The dude left you in the forest passed out, Liv!"

I'm not surprised by Jake's outburst. He'd expressed his hatred of Emmett many times since the vampire left me and broke my heart, but I am surprised by his next words.

"Any Bella? Why would she say that to you? After all you've done for her..." Jake let out a breath, shaking his head. "Cullen really did a number on her to have her saying stuff like that."

I can't help but nod in agreement, a snorted laugh leaving me. Because it was true. Edward made Bella crazy. And he wasn't even her mate. She was his blood singer, his greatest temptation and she had completely lost herself in the man who she should fear more than anything. It was almost funny.

"I've tried to be patient with her but, she really crossed a line saying that... I know she's going through a lot but," I take an uneasy breath, "does... does it make me a bad friend if I take some space from her?"

Jacob shook his head immediately, "no. Liv, you're the most loyal person I know. You forgive more than anyone else would. If you need space, take it. She's not the only one who lost her boyfriend."

I nod in thought, taking in my brother's words. Jake was right. I was way too forgiving. Maybe it was okay to finally put myself first. Focus on Paul and what the future holds for us; without Bella's judgement.  Because despite what she believed, the Cullen's weren't coming back.

Paul and Liv finally kissed and I'm so happy... btw I went back and read Emmett and Liv's breakup and I was getting so heated... I had to remind myself that I wrote it.