xxxv

February 21, 2018 - 9:45 AM

Luna's POV

This is it. The moment of truth. Well... not exactly. We still have the free skate tomorrow so whatever. Sitting here backstage while waiting for the event to start, like in any other competition, is nerve-wracking. But this is the Olympics we're talking about so of course, I feel extra jittery and nervous than usual. I look back at my performance during the Team Event and I would DEFINITELY not want that to happen this time.

I'm alone. I have no team to back me up when something goes wrong and I'm even competing against Katelyn. Not only Katelyn but there are also so many talented ladies skating today. It's during these times when I start to doubt myself if I'm worthy enough to be standing on the same stage, the same rink as them.

"Of course you are." A deep voice suddenly came from behind, making me jump up from my seat.

"Oh my gosh Yuzuru honestly. I think you really want me to die early. You almost gave me a heart attack." I glared at him while I clutch my chest. Yuzuru just scratched the back of his head and replied, "Well. Your eyes say it all. You're doubting yourself again, aren't you?"

H-how did he... "N-no. Of course not! Me? I think you don't know me well like you said you do." Crap. I stuttered. I look at Yuzuru in the eyes and he only chuckles at my response.

"Nope. I know you. I already memorized the faces you make whenever you think of something and what I just saw..." Yuzu abruptly stopped before continuing, "I always see that face during competitions. Trust me." He said as his hand move towards my face and tucking stray pieces of hair behind my ear.

I groan in response and rolled my eyes. "Ugh fine. I just..." Unable to continue my sentence, I just pace back and forth across the room to try and calm my nerves down. I look down at my clothes and try to smooth the fabric even though it's perfectly fine. My costume is white with silver and blue accents. It has a cape-like sheer fabric on my back and it both has a skirt and pants.

(A/N: It's kind of hard to describe guys. If you want to visualize it, look at Elsa's dress in Frozen 2. The one she wore near the end of the movie.)

I walk back towards where Yuzu is standing as he just continues to observe me. Standing in front of him again, I look down at my feet and whisper, "I'm just really nervous. I don't want anything to go wrong."

I feel him gently hold my chin and make me raise my head to look at him. "Hey. We already talked about this right? You're the best out there. And no matter what happens, the people will still love it. And I will still love you. Okay?" He smiles gently.

He never fails to amaze me. With those simple words that left his lips, it's like my worries just magically vanished into thin air. I close my eyes and heave a huge sigh before smiling back at him. "How come you always know what to say?"

"Because you love me." Yuzu laughed as he booped my nose making me pout. "Now go warm-up. If you need anything, I'll just be outside." He continued, placing a chaste kiss on my forehead before walking away while he adorably waved.

And with that, I turn my game face on and internalize what Yuzu just said. He's right. I got this in the bag. No worries.

-time skip-

I stood and leaned against the barrier of the rink trying not to mind the deafening roars of the crowd. Alina Zagitova just finished her flawless performance and scored 82.92 points for her short program. Currently, she is now in first place with Zhenya not so far behind with 81.61 points. Just a few points behind the world record I set a few months back during the Rostelecom Cup. If I don't nail this program, I'm going to have a hard time catching up in the free.

Different scenarios played through my head of what could happen today and tomorrow. It's like I'm Dr. Strange or something. However, I knew better than to dwell and overthink the situation. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and void my mind of unnecessary thoughts. As Alina was busy waving to the crowds, I turn towards my uncle and flashed him a small smile just so he doesn't worry too much about me.

"Looks like you're ready then?" Uncle Brian spoke up. I winked at him and giggled. "As ready as I'll ever be. I won't let you down."

"I know you won't. I'm sure you'll knock it out of the park. Like I always say, jus-"

"Just do what you always do and you'll be fine." I interrupted and continued his sentence for him which made us both laugh.

"Next to skate, representing Canada, please welcome Luna Saito."

I held my uncle's hand and gave them a squeeze of reassurance before skating towards the middle of the rink. Right now, I hear nothing. Although I can see the people cheering for me, the voices and applause are all muted. All that matters right now is me, the rink, and the music.

*Play the music!*

As the music starts, I smirked at the fact that I had the courage to suddenly change both my short and free program. To be honest, I can't even remember why I decided to do such a reckless thing. But here we are now and there's no more turning back.

One more reckless thing we decided, well more like I insisted on doing, is moving my jumps in the second half of the program. It isn't the wisest decision, I know, but I'm going to need all the points I can get right.

And so, I begin my step sequence which was a bit toned down and well-paced to match with my music piece. But just because it's not as fast as the others, doesn't mean it's easier. We put as many intricate details and gestures as we can from head to toe.

One step. Two steps. And the next thing I know, I'm fully immersed in the music like I usually am, my hair and costume freely flowing in the wind as if it was part of of my body. I was feeling good. Better? Dare I say best even.

Everything was a blur and before I knew it, we were already on the second half of the program. Feeling pretty good, I set up for a triple axel- triple toe combination on the beat. I held my breath and closed my eyes, and as soon as I land both of them as cleanly as I can, I heaved a huge sigh of relief. I smiled to myself. Two more to go.

Speeding across the rink with no time to rest, I jump for a triple lutz. The landing could've been better but it was good enough.

My program is nearing its end and unfortunately, but as expected, my chest is burning. I'm literally dying from lack of oxygen. But I can't stop now, right? Unconsciously, I faltered a bit but not enough for the audience to notice my exhaustion. However, as soon as I realized it, my eyes immediately move towards my uncle who was wide-eyed, and to Yuzu who was biting his lip with his eyebrows furrowed. Shit, they noticed right away.

I quickly get ahold of myself and jump the last element, a quad salchow. YES! A PERFECT LANDING!

I spun out of the jump and did my final pose signaling the end of my short program. As if on cue, I started to hear everything clearly again. The stadium erupted with louder roars than the skater before me which surprised me. I look up briefly on the ceiling with the lights blinding my eyes as I mutter a silent 'thank you' with a smile. However, as soon as the adrenaline ran out, I immediately hunched over and desperately tried to catch my breath.

Breathe, Luna. Breathe. Just a few more days and we're done. Black dots start to flood my eyesight and I was about to lose consciousness but...

"LUNA!!!" I know that voice. I think I'm having a dejavu. Oh right. It was Yuzu who snapped me out of it and by merely hearing his voice, he dragged me back to reality.

My eyes snap open as soon as I heard him. My eyes start to water not because of how I performed the way I actually wanted to, but because of how I realized the countless times Yuzuru saved me from slipping away. And maybe because I'm overwhelmed by the reaction of the people who were watching. I look around the venue as I stood and bowed to the audience in the middle of the raining BT21 plushies and chrysanthemums. I put a hand on my chest and show my appreciation to everyone who supports me.

Finally, and because I am still exhausted and breathing heavily, I sloppily skated back to where my Uncle is. As soon as I reach him, he engulfed me in a tight hug.

"You did so well. I am so proud of you, Luna. We all are." He whispered which made me smile. He must've felt how I heavily leaned against him and gestured for Coach Tracy to get something backstage. Probably my medicine. After putting my blade guards on, we walk straight towards the Kiss and Cry with no signs of the loud applauses dying down. And of course, I stood up and continued to wave and smile at everyone to show my gratitude. As I sat down, I closed my eyes and whispered to my uncle "I-I'm not feeling so good. Can I head back to my room as soon we finish here?" I say in between pants and gasps which I'm trying so hard to control so no one will notice.

"Of course, Luna. We'll handle the press." My uncle replied as he caressed my back gently. I could only smile in response.

"The short program scores please." The crowd suddenly went silent, waiting in anticipation for my scores.

"Luna Saito from Canada has earned a short program score of 83.25, putting her in first place." And once again, the stadium drowned in deafening roars and applauses. Deep inside, I felt disappointed. It could've been a new WR if only I landed my combination jump perfectly. Now I realize I have no room for errors tomorrow. The gap between me and Alina is too narrow...

I try my best to muster up a smile to not worry the people who are watching. But of course, I can only fool them. Not the people I care for. As soon as he heard the score, I heard my uncle whisper "Really? Underscored? What's wrong with the ISU?"

I look at him, my eyes on the verge of releasing tears. His eyes widened before handing me my RJ tissue box. "You did great, Luna. You did nothing wrong. It's them. You're underscored." He said as he placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. I can only pout at what he said. We stood up and I did my final wave to everyone before we head backstage. We hurriedly went into the room where my stuff were. As I enter, I was wrapped around a warm, comforting bear hug by the one and only.

"Shhh. You did so well, hime." Yuzuru whispered as he caressed my hair and rest his chin on top of my head. I tried so hard not to let tears of disappointment fall from my eyes. I know I did well. But does that mean I wasn't good enough?

I cover my face with my hands as I finally broke down into quiet sobs while being hugged by Yuzuru. After a few minutes of crying like a baby, I look up to him in a pout while he just smiled fondly before wiping my tears away with his thumbs.

"You look adorable, you know that?" Yuzuru giggled before hugging me tightly again. "You done crying, big baby?" He teased.

"Y-yeah, I-I'm don-done." I say in between breaths before I suddenly cried again out of nowhere. I can't help it!

"Aw hime you said you were done! What's wrong? If you don't stop crying you're going to have a harder time catching your breath." Yuzuru laughed at me, probably thinking I look adorable when I cry when in reality, I actually look like a crying mess.

I continue to sob in his chest when I heard him say "Tonight's going to be a long night."

"Hey!" I said punching his chest while I continue to sob harder.

Though I feel disappointed in myself, I can always count on Yuzuru to pick me back up. Just like how I do with him.

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CHAPTER 35 DONE!!!

I'm so late but here is our new chapter. Sorry bout that, I also updated my other book :))) Anyway did you guys notice? 8k reads?! You guys are absolutely insane and I am over the moon. Thank you all for sticking with me and Serendipity. It really means a lot to me :')

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Stay safe and stay golden, lovelies! ✨