Chapter 12 - Y/N

I sat in the empty room, taking in all the information and trying to process everything. I wanted to avoid making stupid decisions, I wanted to sit and think things through. It was, however, an almost impossible thing.

My heartbeat was accelerated, I could feel it trying to escape from my body with how hard it was pounding against my chest. The pain from my bruises and broken bones was muted by the panic that I felt in my mind. I also felt the occasional bloody tear running down my cheeks, but I wasn't really crying, it was more like my body was trying to somehow release the tension, and I felt in a daze not really believing what was happening.

'I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer, I'm a murderer...', I'd repeat to myself as I aimlessly walked around the room, with my hands pressing on my temples.

I didn't know how many hours had passed, the time in this Mansion felt like it went by too fast and too slow at the same time.

The door opened, startling me and making me jump up to see who was trying to come into the room.

"Y/N... W-what- are you ok?", Toby said, removing his goggles and placing them over his messy hair. His clothes were bloody, with splotches of the dark substance all over his hoodie and jacket. The hatchets that he always wore around his waist were also stained. He was twitching, more than usual, his ticks betraying his otherwise intimidating stance.

I could see it was still dark outside, which meant that, either he went to finish his "mission" quicker than expected or I had been in here for longer than I thought and it was already the early hours in the morning.

Toby started walking towards me, but stopped halfway when he saw me take a few steps back. Masky and Hoodie took the opportunity to step inside, not saying a word, but curious all the same to know what had happened to me.

"Are you seriously asking me if I'm ok? What do you think happened? He tortured me", his eyes widened at my sudden reaction, my voice filled with anger and disgust. Hoodie and Masky remained silent, but I saw them shifting in their feet. As if on queue, my tears started rolling down, giving me a look worthy of a scary movie and getting my point across.

"He beat me up, broke my bones, and got inside my mind making me see and hear things that weren't there. He created this static in my head so loud that I thought my brain was going to turn into mush, Toby. I wanted him to stop so badly that I was willing to kill for him, and that I did," I hesitate, unsure if I wanted to continue telling him what happened, I didn't want to say it outloud.

"Who was it?", Toby once again tried to move closer, his tics becoming more violent.

"Does it matter?", I said, "He... My aunt", I replied trying to make him understand I didn't want to talk about it anymore, not wanting to relive what happened

"I'm so s-sorry, Y/N. I-...", he kept his mouthguard on, but without his goggles I could see panic in his eyes darting and scanning throughout my body, noticing EJ's job. "Who...?", he added, pointing at my bandaged arm.

"EJ", I said curtly.

I was too angry and frustrated to keep things to myself anymore and roll with the punches. No, I was done.

"This is all your fucking fault you know?", I added before he could start making any more useless questions, "you could've just killed me, like the rest of the humans you were sent to kill. But no. You needed to be fucking impulsive, after practically stalking me for days! You couldn't leave me be or leave me dead, you had to bring me here and fucking ruin my already fucked up life!", I added, not caring that my shouting was probably going to wake up whoever was sleeping at the Mansion that night.

Toby's eyes went from worried to angry in seconds. He was furious at my words, his eyes glinting with the faint moonlight coming in through the windows. He walked up to me, slowly removing his mouthguard, clenching and unclenching his fists with each step. I looked down at his hatchets dangling from his waist, making him look even more dangerous. His anger was enough to stop his tics, his steps were calculated and resonated against the hardwood floor.

I was scared, no, terrified of Toby. But I didn't want to let it show. I tilted my head up to meet his eyes. Hoodie and Masky looked at each other, most likely wondering if they should intervene.

"You think you're special? 'Oh poor Y/N and her terrible life, let's all feel bad at her pity party'", Toby said coldly, "you think you're the only one with a shitty life? I'm sorry to tell you, but we're a dime a dozen in this Mansion."

"Wanna know the difference between us? We survived, and we continue trying to survive. It sucks, but what are you going to do now? Stay here in this room alone? Escape? The cops are probably going to go after you, and let me tell you, you won't be able to live amongst the townsfolk anymore looking like Bloody Mary."

At this point he was towering over me, my bravery faltering slightly. I felt humiliated, but what infuriated me the most was that he didn't see his own fault in this, that he didn't even apologize for bringing me into this shitshow.

"I'm not a fucking murderer, and I could never kill people for sport. Even if you try to excuse your actions as 'surviving', you're still a fucking monster, Ticci Toby", I retorted, and at that moment I realized I had gone too far.

He laughed at my words, the sound echoing around the room. His brown eyes, once kind, were piercing through my skull.

Grabbing me by the throat he pushed me against the wall behind me, my head hitting against it hard. I felt dizzy, but I could see his grin growing wider, and I knew he was enjoying this in a sadistic way. This wasn't the Toby I had spent the last two days with, this was the Toby who didn't hesitate on killing someone. Who enjoyed making people scream in panic, while he chased after them. Savoring every moment while the light went out in his victims eyes.

"You can call me whatever you want, Y/N, but you're right in one thing", he added, "I am a murderer, love, and I am fucking good at it", his voice was deep, and low, sending shivers down my spine. I could feel his breath on my ear as his grip on my throat became stronger. "Don't ever forget who you're talking to, because I can make you scream in pain and beg for mercy". His grip became tighter around my throat, making me desperately gasp for air. I could feel his body, pushing me further against the wall and it was difficult to move under him. My broken arm was pressed against him painfully, and I hated myself for not being able to push him off of me.

"I love making humans scream and beg. You've known this since you've met me, how much of a monster I am, and yet you didn't care when you were screaming my name-"

"That's enough, Toby" Hoodie interjected, "she'll pass out, and she's been injured enough right now."

Hoodie was one of those people who didn't need to shout to make himself heard, and right now I was thankful for his presence in my room. Turning my eyes slightly to see behind Toby, I saw that he had come closer to us. I noticed that Jeff was now standing at the door with raised eyebrows, most definitely amused at Toby's words. He had probably heard the commotion and came to see the show.

With one final squeeze, Toby released me, but stayed close enough that I could feel his chest going up and down with his breathing.

"Get the fuck out, Toby", I glared at him, while rubbing my neck. My voice unsurprisingly came out raspy from all the shouting and screaming.

"Oh you want to do this alone?" he said mockingly, -"well then, good luck with that."

I knew that dealing with this by myself was going to be harder, but the last person I wanted to see at that moment was Toby. As much as I grew fond of him in the last few days, and as much as I wanted to see him after I woke up from Slender's torture session, he was the reason I was in this mess.

And I was not going to forgive him anytime soon.

---

I spent the next few months trying to adjust to this place, sort of.

I cried, screamed until my vocal chords hurt, and trashed my room. Only to pick up the pieces again after I was done.

I even ran away several times through the woods. I wasn't kidnapped anymore, so I could just go home and get help, or so I thought. Every time I got there, I just stood in the middle of the road debating on whether or not to go to the police. That was until I saw several posters with my face on them.

(Image description: Wanted by the FBI. First degree premeditated murder on 6 accounts and aggravated kidnapping. Thought to be armed and dangerous. If you have any information concerning this person, please contact your local FBI office immediately)

After that I came back running into the woods, terrified that someone would recognize me.

It was lonely, the only person ever really talking to me being Slender and his conversations weren't pleasant in the slightest. He kept going on and on about how he had given me a gift, how he had released me from my mortal life by making me end the last link I had to the human world. How I should be grateful that in a turn of fate, I had ended under his protection.

Protection.

I had never in my life felt more uneasy than when I was around him, and when I didn't show him any reverence, he would beat me up for good measure, with the intent of reminding me that I was nothing compared to him.

I contemplated killing myself, more times than I could count. I felt trapped in this hellhole and most of all, I hated Toby... And I hated that I missed him.

Jeff had told me that Toby went up against Slenderman after our argument. He obviously lost, Slender almost beating him to death for daring to defy him.

"It's adorable, I would never do that for anyone. Toby is fucking stupid honestly, going against Slender for you", Jeff added.

I quickly learned not to take Jeff's words to heart, he was an idiot and it was easier if I ignored him. I wanted to ask where Toby was, and pry more information out of him without directly asking. Jeff was an asshole, but he was a smart asshole and read right through me.

A couple of times I had gone near Toby's cabin. All those times I decided to turn around and don't look back, keeping my word of staying away from him.

*Knock knock*

"Oi, Dumbass! Slender wants to see us in his office", Jeff said shouting on the other side of the door, effectively killing my thoughts. I was nervous, being suspicious of Slender's intentions.

I went down the stairs, and down the hall towards Slender's office. Jeff was already standing there, impatiently swinging his knife back and forth.

"Took you long enough. Come on."

"What are you talking about? I came down here like two seconds after you knocked?", I said irritated.

Jeff scoffed, and turned around to open the door to let us inside.

Slender didn't talk much, which was an interesting change. He loved the effect his mind voice had on people. This time, he only gave us an envelope each with an address, a couple of details, and a name. He didn't even give us instructions, but it wasn't necessary. I knew what the information meant.

"Y/N," he said before turning his back to us, "failing to complete this kill will result in severe punishment", letting Jeff know as well that he couldn't help me. I was on my own.

Jeff turned around, excitement clear on his face, and not wanting to stay alone with Slender in his office, I followed him closely behind.

"Same address. I don't work well with other people", Jeff said after taking the envelope out of my hands and reading it. He was annoyed at me for some reason, and at a different time I would've told him off for taking my stuff, but I was so nervous that I didn't even mind. "Well, go on then, take a knife from the kitchen or something. We need to get going."

I nodded in response, not knowing what to say.

The Mansion's kitchen was rarely used, and its cabinets were often almost empty. Cobwebs and dust covered the surfaces, giving a haunted appearance to the room. In a way it made it look even more incredibly beautiful. Like the rest of the Mansion, the furniture and tabletops were made out of the finest woods and stones, with details and finishes that would put any palace to shame.

Grabbing the biggest, sharpest knife I found in the drawers, I went back to find Jeff already walking out of the Mansion and into the forest.

The address was in the town near Toby's cabin. I was tempted to stop by before my first... task, but I knew it was a bad idea. It had been months since I last saw him, and who knew what he thought of me now. Even if I hated him for bringing me into this mess, I would catch myself thinking about him often. Hating with every fiber of my being how much he had engraved himself into my mind.

After hours of walking in awkward silence, with Jeff awfully chirpy about going to kill someone, we finally arrived at our destination. It was already dark, stars shining brightly in the sky. If the reason why I was there wasn't so grim, I would've enjoyed such a peaceful night.

When Jeff noticed we had arrived though, his whole demeanor changed. He still looked like a maniac, with a wide grin and tilting the tip of his knife on his bottom lip, but just like I had seen Toby before, his movements were stealthy and predatory.

Taking a deep breath and trying to put myself into the right mindset, if there's ever one for killing, I went inside. The house was unlocked, which made me think of the times I might have forgotten to lock the windows or the door myself, too tired to double check before going to bed and too trusting of the morning light after my shift.

The person I had to kill was the daughter, and Jeff's the mother. He moved silently towards what appeared to be the master bedroom, while I took a detour towards one of the smaller rooms in the house trying to guess which one belonged to my target.

'In and out, do it fast. One hard stab on the neck, let her suffocate and bleed out. She will die faster, I'm sure. I think.', although I was trying to calm myself down, and not think too much of what I was about to do, I still felt those god-awful tears rolling down my face and neck. Thick, warm and sticky blood that stained my face everytime I "cried". I had come to realize that those tears came out when I was feeling an overwhelming negative emotion, like panic, anger, frustration... And not just when I cried cried.

Pushing open the door, I stepped inside silently. A few of my tears dropped onto the floor and left small dark stains. I wanted to finish my job before Jeff, because I knew he would make the mother scream bloody murder, making my task more difficult.

I guessed correctly. The room's walls were covered in band posters, clothes were scattered around the floor and a few drawings were hanging from a string crossing over the room side to side. Upon looking closer at her art, I realized she had several drawings of Slenderman, some of them with him holding hands with children. It was curious that Slender wanted her dead, from what I knew, a lot of people knew about his legend. She must've done something to make him angry, or maybe he's just looking to entertain himself. Either way, I knew I would never know the answer to this question.

She was sleeping peacefully, although not in a very elegant position. Face down, leg sticking out of the covers and hair all over the pillow. I assumed she was a teenager, based on her room and her apparent height.

'She won't know. She's facing down. Stab her. Do it.'

I lifted the knife, shaking wildly and doing my best to aim.

With a sickening crunch the knife went into her neck, crashing against her bones, going all the way and hitting the pillow. She didn't even have time to react, with blood gurgling out of her mouth. After a few twitches she was dead.

Blood was pooling all over her bed, staining the covers and pillows. I felt the urge to vomit, but a loud screech made me jump back to reality.

A woman came in barrelling through the door, with a deep cut on the side of her cheek giving her a half smile. She looked at me, and then noticed her daughter. Making her screams impossibly louder.

Jeff came closely running behind her, laughing maniacally and grabbing her by the hair.

"Oh no, don't run, you whore, I'm not done with you", Jeff said, pushing her to her knees. Her eyes moved rapidly and her cries were louder than anything I had ever heard in my life.

"God, your screams are annoying. Shut the fuck up bitch, shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!", Jeff yelled back, losing the bit of patience he had. He proceeded to stab her repeatedly in the face. Her features soon transformed into a mix of blood, flesh and bone. Her face became mushy and liquidy.

I couldn't keep it down anymore and threw up all over the floor. The smell of blood and the sight of what we had done was too much. Jeff didn't so much as look at me, with a shrug he let go of the mother's corpse. She fell against the floor with a thud, blood and brain matter slurring all over the carpet.

"Let's go, we're done", Jeff said, removing the remaining debris from his hoodie.

He didn't need to tell me twice. Still gagging I was already out the door, running behind him. I wanted to reach the forest as soon as possible, afraid the cops would be there any minute now since the mother's screams were so loud, the whole town must've heard her. I also wanted the darkness of the forest to engulf me, to keep me safe somehow. I wanted to leave what I had done behind.

And I also wanted to see Toby.

Once inside the woods, we stopped running and instead started walking in the dark, panting and catching our breath. Jeff saw me change paths, and I knew he was a curious guy so it didn't surprise me when he changed his course as well and started following me, soon enough realizing I was heading to Toby's house.

"A.do.ra.ble", he said with a smirk.

"Shut up, Jeff, for once just shut up"

Jeff only raised his eyebrows, his smirk only becoming bigger as he got a reaction out of me.

"Having sex after killing someone is the best, you know. Just imagine it! The rush you already feel, and then having some bitch suck on your di-"

I didn't let him finish, instead I kicked him with all the strength I could muster after running all the way here. "You should learn to respect women. Although knowing you and seeing your face, I doubt anyone has ever touched your dick", I barked back.

"You bitch", he sneered while sitting up. Although I wasn't as strong as him, my kick was enough to make him lose his balance and fall down. "I don't care if Slender wanted to keep you alive, I'm gonna enjoy making you beg for your pathetic life."

Not wanting to give Jeff the satisfaction, I was about to throw myself against him, when I heard a branch break behind me, making me stop in my tracks.

"Jeff, you touch her and I swear I'm going to chop your hands off and make you eat them", a low, raspy voice said. I recognized that voice.

"Then you better keep your slut quiet and teach her how to behave, because she's gonna get herself killed. By me or someone else", Jeff said coldly.

With a grunt, Toby punched him, making Jeff stumble backwards again. He got up fast enough to tackle Toby to the ground though. It was dark, with only the moonlight shining through the trees, and between the tangled limbs, grunts and flying knives and hatches, I couldn't quite figure out who was doing what.

Toby grabbed Jeff by the throat and pushed him against the ground, both of them a bloody mess.

"I'm warning you, Jeff, don't fucking touch her."

In response, Jeff started laughing and turned to look at me slightly, struggling with Toby's big hand still holding him down.

"It's all in good fun, kitten, but don't start fights you can't win. You won't always have your faithful lap dog to defend you.", he said, still laughing.

I was baffled more than anything at his reaction, but, however crazy he was acting all of a sudden, he was right. Jeff was behaving like an asshole, but I let him get under my skin too easily and I was picking fights I couldn't yet handle.

"You stay with your boyfriend, I'll report back to Slender. Will make sure to tell him all about the amazing job you did at killing that girl, and how she choked on her own blood", he said standing up and brushing the dirt out of his hoodie and skinny jeans with a cheeky smile.

"Thanks... Jeff", I said wincing at his apparent appraisal. I had momentarily forgotten about that girl, and now I noticed the blood all over my shoes and jeans, the knife still in my hands and it was suddenly too heavy. I noticed Toby looking at me out of the corner of his eyes.

"Y/N?", he added, slightly turning to see me.

"What?"

"Don't forget what I said about sex after a murder~", he cooed, wiggling his eyebrows while looking between me and Toby. Before I had a chance to say anything he turned around and left.

Toby in turn looked back at me, raising an eyebrow. Too embarrassed to say anything I just scoffed in reply.

"Uh... R-right," Toby hesitantly walked over, stopping just a couple of steps away from me.

"You look like shit", I said before I even took a second to think what I was saying. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his tics made him jerk slightly. He looked exhausted, and just as bloodied as Jeff.

After months of not seeing him, I realized just how much I'd missed him. I hated myself for that, but I had. Even with all that's happened and especially tonight after just taking a life, the first time of probably many more, all I wanted was to see him. I wanted him to comfort me, and feel his warmth.

"You're welcome, asshole", he chuckled lightly. "Come on, let's go"