CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER EIGHTMELONIE'S POV

   It had been a few weeks since I woke up from that coma. I had gotten better, and I could finally get out of the hospital bed today. I had to be in a wheel chair since my right leg was broken and my left ankle was also broken, but it was better than nothing.

   Alex and I still had no idea where our relationship was. We hadn't made it official or anything and we hadn't kissed, so we weren't official yet. 

   "Good morning, Melonie." Bailey came into my room with a few papers. 

   "Morning," I yawned. "I need to get out of this bed."

   "Okay, I'll get you a wheelchair," she smiled, walking out of the room. 

   When she came back, Alex was with her and he smiled at me. I smiled back as he approached me.

   I slowly started to get up, and Alex helped me over to the wheelchair. I sat down and sighed of relief. 

   "It feels so good to be out of that bed," I sighed. "Dr. Bailey, when can I go back to work?"

   "Once you're not broken anymore," she smirked, making me chuckle a little. 

   Alex wheeled me out of the room and I looked around at everyone who was looking at me. By now, everyone had heard about what happened, so I was expecting the stares and whispers. 

   "Ignore them," Alex whispered to me. 

   I just continued looking around as we approached the cafeteria. I could finally eat real food and not just Jell-O and soft stuff. 

   Alex wheeled me over to a table and went to get food for us. I played with my phone until he got back. 

   He set my waffles, fresh fruit, and juice in front of me and set his food in front of him as he sat down across from me. 

   "What are we?" I blurted the question out. He looked at me.

   "What?"

   "I mean, are we official?" I asked.

   Alex reached across the table and took my hand in his. I smiled at him. 

   "If you want to be," he replied. 

   "I want to," I smiled.

   We continued eating as April approached us. 

   "Mel! I'm so glad you're okay." She hugged me and I flinched. "Oh, I'm sorry. Did that hurt?"

   "Obviously that hurt!" Alex scolded her. "Geez, April, have some common sense. She fell off of a building!"

   "Alex, calm down," I laughed. "It didn't hurt. It just surprised me."

   April sat next to me with her food and soon, Lexie, Mer, and Izzie joined us. Everyone filled me in on what had been happening in the past couple of weeks. 

   After breakfast, Alex had to go back to work, so he wheeled me up to my room. He kissed me on the head after her laid me on the bed and walked out.

~

*A FEW MONTHS LATER*

   Today was my first day back at work. All of my bones healed fairly quickly, and I was so excited to go back to work. I hadn't touched a scalpel in forever. 

   I walked into the residents' lounge and changed into my scrubs, and threw my hair up. I was getting stares the whole time. It was annoying, but I did my best to ignore it.

   I walked toward trauma bay to see Callie getting her trauma gown tied by Dr. Hunt. 

   "Welcome back, Dr. Grey," Callie smiled. 

   "Glad to be back, Dr. Torres," I smirked. 

   Before I could get a trauma gown on, Dr. Altman approached me. 

   "Sorry, no trauma for you today, Grey," Altman sighed, handing me a chart. "Cancer patient in room 302."

   "Thanks, Dr. Altman," I replied, walking off to the room. 

   I entered the room to see a woman with a breathing mask over her mouth and her husband standing beside her.

   "Morning, Kim, and..."

   "Sean," the husband responded. 

   "Sean," I replied. "How are you feeling?"

   "Ready," Kim answered. "Today's the day. I'm ready to die."

   "How are you doing?" I looked at Sean, trying to ignore Kim's comment.

   "Okay," he shrugged.

   I looked at Kim, then took the chart and walked out. I paged for a neuro consult as I filled out some charts. 

   "You need a consult?" Hunt approached me. 

   "Uh, Kim Allan," I replied. "She had stage IV large cell lung cancer. Dt. Altman removed a second mass from her right lung about two months ago, but her tests had showed that the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, and to her liver. She was readmitted last week with pulmonary edema." We started to walk. "Dr. Altman drained as much fluid as she could, but she's still having a tough time breathing."

   "Wow. First day back and you're already ahead of the game. Impressive, Dr. Grey," Hunt smiled. "You gonna have to intubate her?"

   "She doesn't want that," I sighed.

   "You're gonna have to treat her palliatively," Hunt continued. "I don't see what else we could do for her."

   "She wants us to help her die," I blurted out. "Will you look over her chart?"

   Hunt looked up at me with a shocked expression. All I did was nod at him, signaling that it was true.

   "Welcome back, Dr. Grey," he joked, taking me toward Kim's room.

   We entered her room and Sean and Kim looked up at us. 

   "Kim, since the state requires two physicians' signatures, I've asked Dr. Hunt to look over your chart," I said.

   "Okay," Kim responded. 

   "Her prognosis says that she has less than six months to live," I told Hunt. "Dr. Altman has informed her of her treatment options. She has met with a psychologist who has determined that she is mentally fit, and this can serve as her second oral request."

   "Okay," Kim repeated.

   "You have to say it," I sighed. She stared at me. "Washington state says I have to hear you ask two times at least fifteen days apart."

   Kim lightly chuckled. "It's so weird. It's like I'm applying to die."

   "Well, if you're having second thoughts-" Sean tried hopefully.

   "You saw how bad it got last night," Kim said. "It's just gonna get worse." She put her breathing mask back on, then took it right back off. "I would like to end my life through physician-assisted suicide."

   "Excuse me, um-" Hunt walked out of the room.

   "I'm just gonna go see what's up," I said, starting to walk out of the room. 

   "Dr. Grey," Kim stopped me. "How long does it take... to die, once I take the barbiturates?"

   "Can we not talk about this?" Sean blurted. "It's just, um... we're not there yet."

   "We are there, Sean," Kim smiled. "We are."

   I sighed, "Kim, to answer your question... about forty-five minutes. It takes about forty-five minutes to die."

   I walked out of the room to let Kim and Sean talk things out, and I searched for Owen. I found him in his office and I stood in the doorway, crossing my arms. 

   "What happened? We were in the middle of a consult," I said.

   "You're her doctor. You shouldn't be pushing her to do that," he snapped.

   "Dr. Altman offered her options. She told her about hospice. Kim doesn't want to die a slow death hooked up to machines or be so heavily sedated, she might as well be dead," I reasoned. "And I have to say, I don't blame her. This is an act of mercy."

   "Oh, and 'act of mercy'? You are killing her." He stood up and confronted me. "Just so you are clear, by writing that prescription, you are killing that woman."

   I paused for a second and just stared at him, before finally finding words to say. 

   "Alright, then." I rolled my eyes. "I'll find someone else."

   I stormed off, leaving Owen standing there. I found Cristina standing at the desk. 

   "Owen won't let me end a woman's life," I blurted out. "She requested for me to end her life and by law, I have to grant her wishes, but he won't let me do it. Will you?"

   "Why me?" she asked. 

   "Because you don't get attached to patients as much as other doctors here do," I reasoned. She just stared at me. "Please," I begged. "It's my first day back at work after falling off the top of this building."

   "Melonie." She rolled her eyes. "You can't do that to me." I pouted and did the puppy dog eyes. "That doesn't work on me." She tried to ignore, but she finally gave in.

   "Thank you!" I hugged her.

   I handed her the chart for Kim and she walked off to her room.

~

   I stormed over to the cafeteria, where I found Owen sitting with Callie, Mark, and Arizona. I was fuming with anger, you could probably see the steam coming out of my ears.

   "What is your problem?" I asked Owen.

   "Melonie, I-" he tried, but I cut him off. 

   "You go to Shepherd behind my back about a patient you don't even know? You have no idea what she's been dealing with, the kind of pain that she's in- pain that's only gonna be worse after I ram a tube down her throat because you're having some kind of problem with her exercising her legal right to die," I scolded him. "So I want to know, what the hell is your problem?"

   Everyone was silent. I looked around and saw that everyone in the cafeteria was now staring at us. I didn't realize how loud I was being. 

   I looked back at Owen and he wiped his mouth, walking away and leaving his plate. I let out a deep sigh and leaned against the table. 

   "Woah, who pissed in your cheerios?" Mark teased. 

   "Shut up." I walked away from the table and out of the cafeteria.

   I walked up to Kim's room. I was going to stay strong for her, because if I broke down in that room, it would make everything worse.

   After Cristina lied Kim down on her bed, I gave her a small smile. 

   "I can't actually give you the drugs, but you can have this prescription filled in the hospital pharmacy." I handed the paper to Sean. "Again, I want to emphasize, there are other options. We can make you comfortable."

   Owen stormed into the room and we all looked at him. I raised an eyebrow at him. 

   "I just have one question," he said.

   "Owen, no-" I tried.

   "What if they find a cure?" he asked, out of breath. "I know it's a long shot, but isn't saving your life worth gambling on a long shot?"

   "Dr. Hunt, I will call security if you do not step-"

   "Wait, let her answer," Sean said to me. "I'd like to hear the answer."

   "Maybe..." Kim sighed. "You have to be dying to understand. But, there's this thing that happens where death stops being scary. What starts being scary is hope... 'cause it's not true." She stopped to breath, then continued. "Even if they found a cure for cancer tomorrow, it's too late for me. And, hanging onto hope... it may make you feel better, but it just makes me feel alone. I don't want to die alone, okay?" Kim started to cry. "I am not afraid of this. Why are you? Why are you so afraid to let me die?"

   I looked at Owen for an answer, but he just let out a deep breath. He walked out and I looked back at Kim. 

   I gave Kim one last smile before walking out of the room, and out to the front of the hospital after getting dressed into my street clothes. I sat on a bench and ran my hands through my hair. 

   "Dr. Grey," I heard a familiar voice call after I had been sitting down for a while. I looked up to see Sean. "The pharmacy wouldn't take my insurance card. There was some problem. So, I had to go to a cash machine. And, I'm running around trying to get enough cash to buy the pills that are gonna kill my wife," he sniffled. I didn't know what to say, so I just sat there. "Anyway... here they are." He pulled the pills out of his coat pocket, and he sat beside me. 

   We sat there staring at the pills for a few seconds, before I finally spoke up. 

   "There'll be a moment," I said. "When she dies, her face will relax, and all of that pain that she was in, it'll be gone. And you will feel relief... relief for her, relief for you. And you will know, with absolute certainty... that you did the right thing."

   "Thank you." A tear fell from Sean's eye as he stood up and walked away. 

   I put my head in my hands and sobbed for a little bit. I felt someone sit next to me and I looked up to see Arizona. 

   "You okay?" she asked. 

   "I helped a woman die today." I wiped my tears. "She wanted to die, but seeing the look on her husband's face..."

   My eyes watered so much to the point where I couldn't hold it in anymore. 

   "I know, I know." Arizona pulled me closer to her. "It'll be okay. I know it's hard."

   "I don't understand. I've been a doctor for four years. I've seen people die before," I pointed out. 

   "It never gets easy, though," Arizona chuckled. "And, don't forget, it was your first day back after a very traumatic incident. I understand why you're emotional."

   I smiled at her as Alex came out. 

   "Hey. You okay?" he asked, seeing the mascara on my face. 

   "Yeah," I smiled. "Let's go home."

   I said goodbye to Arizona and Alex and I walked to his car. I intertwined my fingers with his. 

~

Word Count: 2299