Guilt and Grief

         Why? Why? Why? It's my fault, I was too slow. It should have been me! I rocked back and forth in the corner. Since I woke up here after Abe... after what happened I've been alone. No ones been in my room but when I woke up I had the handcuffs on my wrists that limited my power. It's my fault its my fault its my faul- the door opened and Mr. Abramov came in. Two guards also came in but remained at the door watching. Mr. Abramov squated in front of me and pulled my head up to face him. I must have looked terrible, dirty, tangled hair, bloody clothes, red, blotchy eyes and a tear streaked face. I didn't care, not anymore. He peered into my eyes for a moment. It's my fault it's my fault its my faul-

       "Hello Ashlyn. Today we are going to do the finale preparation for your mission." He stood up.

  I glared at him. "You mean your going to take away all my memories and give me no choice but to obey you."

            He smirked. "You make it sound bad. After we reprogram you we will send you to a base North of us where you will work under the watchful eyes of Mr. Morozov. You might want to work on behaving though, he's not as... nice as me."

At that he dragged me to a room much like the memory cell except this one had more wires and restraints. I struggled while the guards put the restraints on me but I couldn't break free. I'm not going to forget everyone, I'm not going to forget Abe, my parents, my family and friends. I'm not! The guards put a gag in my mouth and left promptly. Mr. Abramov stepped forward with the red book.

             "I would tell you this is painless but that would be a lie." Mr Amramov stated with a smirk, he was enjoying this.

      "тоска." (longing)

I felt electricity course through my body, mainly in my head and squeezed my eyes shut. Don't make any noise, don't give them that satisfaction...

      "полночь." (midnight)

     I couldn't help myself, the pain was too great. I moaned although it was very muffled against the gag. Mr. Abramov smiled wider.

      "семья." (Family)

      "дерево." (Tree)

      I felt tears come to my eyes and tried to blink them away but I couldn't. I started to cry silently as I screamed. It hurts it hurts god it hurts! I struggled against the restraint but to no avail. I was stuck.

       "одиннадцать." (Eleven)

       "башня." (Tower)

       I could feel my memories slipping away as I grasped at them, trying to remember something, anything!

       "Никто." (Nobody)

        "пауk." (Spider)

        I had a splitting headache and I felt like I was going to pass out or throw up, I couldn't tell which. Wait. Where was I? I opened my eyes and looked around the room through the pain and at the sight of Mr. Abramov I remembered where I was. I continued to struggle.

     "черный." (Black)

I screamed out of pain and continued to sob and struggle but it was pointless. the pain was too great, I was going to pas out at any moment.

     "сорок четыре." (Forty-four)

     I froze and suddenly, no matter how much I fought it, my memories drifted away and I forgot everything. The pain exceeded its limit and I passed out.