Chapter 37

~~~LOKI~~~

Nyx was officially driving everyone crazy. 

He snapped at Finch for sitting down on the same couch as Loki. He broke his father's nose for making a joke Loki chuckled at. He snapped Jesper's wrist for handing Loki a drink. 

Needless to say, it had been two days and he was still on edge. 

Amren had warned them that the mating bond would make him more hostile and protective, but understanding the words was not the same as being prepared to experience it. 

Nyx refused to step even an arm's length away from Loki. 

The only person who didn't seem to mind was Loki herself. She acted in the same cold calculated manner as before, but to the crows, they could see her change. 

She was always touching Nyx, always watching him with a certain sparkle in her eyes that made the cold steel grey look more silver.

They saw her cold face soften whenever Nyx did anything. She was never annoyed by any of his fits of rage. Nothing he did could annoy her, which was wildly strange as she was usually annoyed by everything and everyone. 

"Um... Loki..." Inej started, slightly uncomfortable under Nyx's intense stare. 

Loki hummed in confirmation that she was listening. "The others think it's time to do the first separation. Amren completed the potion a few days ago and... well..." Inej was soon cut off by Jesper.

"We need Nyx to chill the fuck out! The stress of his angst is giving me grey hairs and I'M AN IMMORTAL FAE!"Jesper said dramatically, semi hiding behind Inej. 

"He's not been that bad-" Loki began only to be cut off by Inej. 

"Finch is not allowed in the house. He has fought every male in the inner circle. He has broken two tables, three chairs, and many body parts. We are about to go to war and we need to not worry about being attacked if we sit too close to you."

Loki nodded her head, recognizing their point. But she did not like the idea of being separate from Nyx and by the scowl on his perfect face he did not enjoy the idea either. 

With a nod of confirmation, Loki stood pulling Nyx with her. 

Nyx followed close behind her, their fingers intertwined as they entered the main room. Amren approached first handing Loki the vial as Nyx was too busy starring down the males. 

Iron chains were placed in her hands as she turned to Nyx. 

He looked down at her like a kicked puppy as she locked his wrists into the cuffs. "Here take it now, so that you won't experience the pain when I leave," Loki spoke softer than they have ever heard her. 

The affection in her eyes was something they had never seen from the bastard of the barrel. He did as he was told, drinking the vial and cringing at its fowl taste. 

She smirked amused by his scrunched nose before softly kissing him. 

Fae bane was laced in the drink, making sure that he would be slightly more controllable once she left. 

"So, I will leave with my crows to check on Ketterdam. I will only be gone for two hours at most... Keep him till then. The pain should be blocked but he will be even more insufferable than usual trying to get to me. Let's try to avoid any casualties. I do not know what will happen after so be ready for anything." Loki talked in her crime lady voice. 

They all nodded, understanding what was about to happen was not going to be pleasant. 

Loki took a deep breath, before following her crows out the door. 

~~~NYX~~~

The second Loki was out of his sight something within him snapped. He gasped in a panicked feeling as though his heart was ripped from his chest. 

He could only hear muffled talking from his concerned family as the ringing in his ears became too loud. 

Tears streamed down his face, he felt as if the bond had shattered. 

Dead. Dead. Dead. 

Is she dead? 

I need to get to her!

Did she leave me? 

NO, SHE'S DEAD!

His mind moved fast through the panic. Not feeling the pain of the Iron cuffs cutting into his flesh as he lunged for the door. He didn't feel his family holding him down, trying to calm him. 

He screamed in agony. 

Though he couldn't feel the physical pain due to the potion, the emotional agony ripping him apart was almost too much to bear. 

She's Dead. 

She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead. She's Dead.

He screamed out a heart-wrenching sob as he fought against his chains to fly out the door after her. 

His voice cracked under the stress of the agonizing scream.

His family cringed at the sound, never hearing such a cry of agony, loss, torment. 

They knew he was not feeling the effects physically, but Rhysand was working overtime to hold his mind steady so that his son would not descend into madness. 

"NYX! SHE IS FINE! SHE IS IN KETTERDAM AND WILL BE BACK IN TWO HOURS!!!" Rhys shouted into his son's mind. 

"PLEASE! PLEASE! LET ME GET TO HER! SHE'S DYING! I'M DYING WITHOUT HER! PLEASE!" Nyx began to beg as sobs broke from his quivering chest. 

The bond was wide open, Loki could feel his torment all the way from Ketterbam. It was driving her just as mad to force him to endure this, but the first separation was crucial for mating bonds like theirs. 

They were right Nyx had been unstable since they solidified the bond. His instincts refused to give him even a moment's reprieve. 

They needed to break this codependence their bond was forcing on them. 

There was so much to learn about their bond and not enough information on the risks. Loki's worry consumed her as she sat for the next two hours mindlessly tapping her pen and enduring Nyx's desperate yanks at their bond. 

Images passed through her mind down the bond. Nyx's hands dripped in blood from pulling at his chains, sweat covered his body and tears dripped down his face. He could no longer cry out, left to broken sobbing on the floor. His family tried their best to provide comfort but the bond was reacting just as they predicted. 

Two hours felt like years for Nyx. 

If this was a dulled-down version of what a mate's death felt like, he didn't know if he could endure the real thing. 

After the first hour, he began to return to his senses. 

She was alive. Just not here.

The torment remained but his mind returned to him slightly. 

She will be coming back. You just need to wait.

The endless stream of tears calmed, and his breath returned to him. If this was the painless version of the first separation Nyx could not imagine what the first fae mate to a godling went through. 

He still felt as if a piece of his soul had been clawed out, but his mind was his own once again. He felt the effects continue to dull as time went on. Though he was still desperate to see Loki, he felt more in control of his impulses as time went on. 

"Heyyyy brotha... How you feelin'? Any murderous thoughts?" Finch asked hiding behind the couch. 

"I feel like I'm dying," Nyx answered honestly.

"What does it feel like?" His mother asked sympathetically. 

"I... I don't know how to describe it... It felt like she d-died the moment I couldn't see her anymore. I felt like my very soul was being torn to shreds... There are no words to express it properly other than death while still living." Nyx's voice was weak and broken. He looked pained and exhausted to his family. 

They all felt for him, watching him helplessly struggle. 

The two-hour mark hit and there she was...

Loki Brekker walked through the door a little frantic, the second Nyx saw her it felt as if his soul was returned to him. 

He felt like he could breathe again. 

A quiet sob escaped him as Loki slid onto her knees to embrace him. He dug his face into her neck, soaking her shirt with his tears. His bloodied hands grabbed onto her like a lifeline, shaking in as they gripped her tight.

"It's okay... I'm here." Her voice cracked as she spoke, and her gloved hands gripped the back of his head as she held his shaking form close. 

"...That fucking sucked." Nyx groaned, his voice tickling her neck. 

"Not our best moment no...Worst foreplay ever." " Loki joked back. A strained chuckle escaped Nyx as he placed a small kiss on the spot where her neck and shoulder met.

"Ya let's not do that again."