Chapter 28

~~~LOKI~~~~

Loki had well overstayed the time her deal permitted in the Night Court. But the idea of being separated from Nyx nearly knocked the air from her lungs. 

She knew something was wrong. 

Mating bonds were always strong, but none should be this utterly consuming. Any distance was agony and the protectiveness she felt was unyielding. 

Nyx was experiencing something similar. 

It was as if they could physically feel the mating bond stretch the further they got from each other. The longer they were apart the more desperate they became to reunite. 

Loki pretended she wasn't feeling it, wearing a face of indifference when he wasn't by her side. The other crows had similar awestruck reactions when she allowed Nyx to touch her when he pleased. 

A fact that Nyx took extreme male pride in. 

It wasn't normal, the intensity of the bond. Even the Night court inner circle recognized it. Maybe it was because they haven't completed the bond. But if they strengthened the bond by solidifying it... Just how extreme would the effects be? 

Loki's thoughts drifted to the suriel, what it said to her when she asked how to break the mating bond. 

You can't. Especially not someone like you, half-blood.

Was that the reason? The reason her mating bond was so strong. She was only half-fae and half something else. 

Her mother was the bastard of a Hybern High Fae but her father, Bryaxis, was a death god. Was the darkness, the power of death that lived within her causing this? 

As far as she knew there had been no other half-fae demigods before her. The fact that she was the product of a death god only made it worse. 

But why would that affect the mating bond? 

"Maybe we should ask the High Lord. He can grant us access to the Libraries where your father was imprisoned. He might also know about Bryaxis himself. He could also ask the little ancient one, amren. Maybe we can get some insight as to why your heritage might affect the bond in such a way." Inej offered as they spoke privately. 

Loki had ensured to place wards around her room so no one could overhear. 

"Maybe. Should I bring it up at dinner? I know they have noticed the odd nature of my bond with Nyx." Loki spoke, mainly to herself.

"I see no problem with it." Inej responded.

"Oh ya, no problem at all. 'Hey High Lord. Remember that death god that use to live in your library? You guys are inlaws now! Surprise!' I'm sure that will go over well." Loki groaned, throwing her head back. 

A slow smirk spread across Inej's face. 

"What?" Loki growled, noticing the look her shadow singer was giving her. 

"Inlaws, huh? So I assume this means you are willing to accept the bond." Inej teased, but for the most part, she was completely curious. 

"Shut up, wraith." 

"What? I'm serious. Are you gonna accept the bond?" Inej's tone changed to a very serious lull. 

"Not until I figure out the possible side effects. If my heritage is affecting the bond there might be something that we don't know. What if I accept the bond and some unforeseen side effects occur?" 

"Like what? Even more extreme sexual tension?" 

"Like... If the bond is this strong now, what if we physically can't leave each other's side? What if being away from him for too long could be lethal? What if my death goddess darkness hurts him? We know nothing about this." Loki was frustrated.

Frustrated because everything in her, screamed for her to complete the bond. It felt like the muscles in her heart were ripping themselves apart only to heal and do it all over again. 

"He's been in your head. Wouldn't he already know about your father?" Inej asked laying back on the bed next to Loki.

"No. He stopped after seeing us rob the night court, that was before even I knew." Loki stared at the ceiling. Trying to find a way out. 

A war was brewing. Most likely she and Nyx would have to be apart for long periods of time. What would happen to them if she solidified the bond? She couldn't risk the danger it might cause without knowing for certain it was safe. 

She wanted to accept. She wanted to solidify the bond and live in mate-honeymoon-bliss. It scared her how badly she wanted it. 

Loki Brekker was not someone to let people in, but she let him in. She let him see every memory, feel every feeling, know every thought.

She hated being touched but craved his.

She hated being weak but cried in front of him without issue. 

She loathed the idea of love... But for him... For him, she wanted to do better, wanted to be better. 

She wanted him in any way he would have her, from now until the stars died out. 

They walked down to the table, most were already seated. Loki took her place next to Nyx with Inej sitting dutifully on her right. 

The conversation was light and comfortable as they ate, but Nyx noticed Loki's silence. 

"Is everything okay?" Nyx asked. A few members of the inner circle quieted to listen in. 

Loki didn't speak for a moment, she looked to Inej who nodded her head in support. Loki's attention turned to Rhysand before she spoke. 

"High Lord..." Everyone silenced and gave Loki their undivided attention. The crows had no idea what this was about (except for Inej) but they stiffened at Loki's serious tone.

"I assume you have recognized that my mating bond with Nyx is... Different." Loki began. 

Rhys nodded, "It's strong. Stronger than any we've seen before."

"That's what I'm referring to... Our bond is strong even though incomplete... Too strong. I have a theory though I feel you would be better versed than me." Loki said looking solely at Rhys.

"What does it mean? Why is our bond so strong?" Nyx asked and she melted at the sound of his voice. The bond was too damn strong. 

"We believe it has something to do with my heritage. After all, I am only half-fae." Loki said taking a long sip of her wine. 

"What do you mean Half-fae?" Amren asked. 

"Exactly what it sounds like. Only my mother was Fae." Loki responded. 

"What was your father?" Feyre asked. 

There was a long moment of silence. The inner circle grew worried as they watched the crow's reaction to the question. The boys visibly cringed, Nina downed her entire glass of wine before filling another, Inej just looked at her boss in support. 

"... You knew my father well actually. He dwelled in Velaris before fighting alongside you in the war." Loki answered trying to work up the nerve to say his name. 

"Who was he?" This time it was Cassian. 

Loki knew of Cassian's relationship with her father. Bryaxis scared the shit out of the General. 

Loki looked Cassian dead in the eyes, knowing there would be some reaction when she said her father's name, "My father... is Bryaxis... An ancient death God."

The air changed as all color drained from their faces. They knew Bryaxis, knew him well. They had been hunting him since the war. 

"Your father... Is Bryaxis, girl?" Amren asked showing a bit of awe deep in her eyes. 

"SOMEONE FUCKED BRYAXIS?" Cassian roared in horror. 

A bit of laughter escaped the crows at their reaction. 

"What does this mean? How does this affect their bond?" Feyre asked directed at Rhys. 

Nyx didn't seem to care, all he cared about was the discomfort his mate was feeling when talking about her father. 

He knew that she grew up an orphan. That she had no knowledge of her parents up until the point he stopped looking at her memories, so the knowledge was fresh for her as well. 

He grabbed her gloved hand under the table, giving it a squeeze to show he was there. 

"I have no idea. Amren have you ever heard of a Demigod half-breed?" Rhys was worried, they could all feel that. 

"I have never heard of such a thing. I'm not sure anyone has. Death gods are not known to desire anything physical... Not as they are anyway, it goes against their nature to bring about life." Amren responded.

"What if my father is like the tiny ancient one? What if he confined himself. He might lose some of his godly nature as she did. It would also explain why no one found him after the war." Loki offered up a theory. 

"If that is true then there is a lot we don't know. Like what might happen if you solidify the mating bond. In all respects, we should proceed as if you too were a death god, Loki Brekker. It is very possible that you are the only of your kind and that is very dangerous." Amren spoke. 

"If anyone knew, the other courts would want her dead," Feyre added.

A fierce growl tore through the room as Nyx tried to control himself, "No one is touching her." 

Loki released her hand from his, only to take off her leather glove and reconnect them. Nyx visibly relaxed at the bare touch. 

"Oh, wonderful. Everyone wants the boss dead. Usually it's only half." Jesper chimed in. 

Rhysand turned to look at his son's mate, "We'll look into it but for now... Just, don't kill us all."