【Tianzunke】Mulled wine and sweet iced tea

【天尊克】热红酒和甜冰茶

https://wakengbutianbiehenwo.lofter.com/post/1cce82e5_2bdafd2c8

summary: Tianzun is actually a love-brained person

The New Year is coming soon, a relatively light-hearted and funny article

1

Tianzun took the Fool's place, sitting at the head of the long bronze table, his hands crossed on his chin, looking expectantly at the glass of rippling red liquid in front of him.

The steaming liquid exuding a gentle and fragrant scent was served in a tall glass with a small rose pinned to the edge of the crystal glass. He looked salivating.

Zhou Mingrui was rational and kept trying to dissuade Him, saying things like "This thing is not from the junk pile," "Believers have never sacrificed this," and "It inexplicably appeared in Sefirah Castle. Shouldn't you be more alert? Why is your mind now full of thoughts about drinking it?" But Tianzun ignored him and expressed his feelings in four words: "Spiritual intuition."

"And Xiao Zhou," He said confidently, "I have divined, and drinking this cup will not have any adverse effects on me."

Zhou Mingrui calmly pointed out: "When I was at a low sequence, a fortune teller taught me with his life not to rely too much on divination."

Tianzun picked up the goblet and took a sip elegantly.

Zhou Mingrui: "..."

He thinks that the symptom of "seeking death" may also be influenced by the top of the sequence.

"It's wine, but I also taste the scent of flowers and berries," Tianzun said intoxicatedly like a wine taster, "and a little cinnamon, but mainly apples... Whoever thought of adding honey to it must be a genius. I don't like the sour taste."

The elegant wine taster placed the remaining half glass of wine on the table, and then, without warning, he fainted. His entire body slid softly from the chair, his forehead hit the edge of the table, and the back of his head hit the chair. There were several dull bangs of flesh hitting metal, and Zhou Mingrui felt pain when he heard it. He stood up, walked around the long table, and squatted down to check on the "roommate".

"Tianzun?"

Tianzun fell into a deep sleep - Zhou Mingrui remembered a joke, "It's good to be young, you can fall asleep as soon as you lie down", although he could not be considered young from any angle - only the little bit of red wine (if it was really red wine) added a little color to his perennially pale cheeks, making him look more like a living person.

——Zhou Mingrui couldn't ignore a living person. So he commanded the tentacles to carry the ancient god back to his own room.

Although they lived together in Sefirah Castle, they each owned their own property. Tianzun's aesthetic taste often changed, so the part of Sefirah Castle that belonged to him often had to be renovated. This time, his taste had a kind of retro feeling from the underworld, with black tiles and white walls, red lanterns that never went out day and night, and the stone lions in front of the door that warded off evil spirits were replaced by a pair of statues of Fulgrim's dogs, with fire-like light burning in their eyes; there were two trees in the backyard, one was a locust tree, and the other was also a locust tree, with lush branches and leaves, covering the small courtyard with a green canopy. A birdcage woven with gold wire was hung on one of the low-hanging branches. He didn't raise mynah birds or parrots, and there was only a crow with white circles on one side of its eyes in the cage, which looked very autistic. Zhou Mingrui had reason to suspect that he had caught a lone Amon and brought it back to Sefirah Castle to raise him. He couldn't help but feel pity and added a spoonful of corn kernels to the food bowl.

In comparison, Tianzun's room was quite normal, except for the incredibly large bed and matching bedding that almost took up half of the room. Zhou Mingrui secretly wondered if He would often roll around on the bed in the form of a mythical creature - but what did that have to do with him?

He threw Tianzun onto the bed, covered him with a quilt benevolently, and as he turned to leave, he looked back for some unknown reason.

The fainted Tianzun had been "disinfected" with alcohol and was harmless, allowing people to calmly appreciate his face, so he looked really, really beautiful...

He immediately reminded himself: Basic qualities of a faceless man, boy!

Zhou Mingrui quickened his pace and left Tianzun's small courtyard.

He planned to research the origin of that glass of "wine".

2

Mr. Fool returned to his seat, staring at the cup of liquid in front of him that was still emitting warm mist, as if he understood what Tianzun had felt a moment ago.

It reveals its sweetness, fragrance, and innocence in all its aspects: Drink me, nothing will happen to you if you drink me.

Whenever Zhou Mingrui was in doubt, he would take out his pendulum, point at the glass of wine and say: Drinking it will do me no harm.

The topaz pendulum paused for a moment, then with a bang it began to spin clockwise, like a crazy helicopter propeller.

Fortunately. Zhou Mingrui breathed a sigh of relief and then began to divine the origin of this thing. He closed his eyes skillfully, and a gray fog appeared in front of him. Above the gray fog was a magnificent palace. There were twenty-two seats around the long bronze table in the center of the palace... He opened his eyes and was truly confused for a moment - he asked himself, did I just fall asleep and do a dream divination? Why is it this with my eyes closed and this with my eyes open?

He sorted out his thoughts carefully and believed that there was only one truth: that is, this cup of mulled wine was the product of the gray fog, or even something that Tianzun or himself had tinkered with while sitting in this seat while sleepwalking, so the result of the dream divination was this area; and because of the same status of the two of them, divination could not reveal the image of the specific manipulator.

The other god in question has now fainted, and it looks like even if you pour cold water on his face he won't wake up. If we want to explore the specific effects of this glass of red wine...

——The Lord of Heaven can drink it, but I, Zhou Mingrui, can't?

Zhou Mingrui picked up the goblet and took a sip.

It was just as He said. The wine with fruity and floral aromas slid down the esophagus smoothly and smoothly. Even though Zhou Mingrui didn't like drinking, he thought this was a good idea and could be added to the Fool's Communion.

Witnessing Tianzun's previous bad luck, he quickly put the wine glass back on the table and took the initiative to lie down on the ground filled with gray fog. If he fell like that this time, no one would come to take him back to his room.

One second, five seconds, ten seconds, thirty seconds.

Zhou Mingrui climbed up awkwardly but politely. He was thankful that this was inside Sefirah Castle and no one saw his embarrassing behavior, otherwise Mr. Fool would have been disgraced.

But at the same time, this also proved that the pendulum's judgment was correct: this glass of wine did him no harm at all.

Zhou Mingrui touched his chin and remembered what Tianzun had said before, "I have divined, and drinking this cup of stuff will not cause any adverse effects on me." So assuming that the charlatan's divination result was correct, then based on the current situation, either fainting would not be a bad effect on Tianzun, or fainting is one thing, and not causing any "adverse effects" is another.

Practice is the key to true knowledge, but unfortunately there are too few samples, and he is not a devil who can catch anyone and force them to drink (drug?), so he can only study the Tianzun who has unfortunately been infected. Zhou Paopi's conscience is awakened, and he decides to visit the unconscious "roommate" and play with the crow that he raised, which is suspected to be Amon.

3

Zhou Mingrui sat down in front of the bed, and Tianzun woke up like a voice-controlled light. Not only did he wake up, he also sat up straight like a corpse, scaring Zhou Mingrui so much that he almost fell off the bed.

Tianzun didn't give him this chance. Before he even opened his eyes, he immediately hugged Zhou Mingrui's arm and called him pitifully: "Xiao Zhou——"

Xiao Zhou got goose bumps when he was called, but luckily he still remembered why he was here, so he asked politely, "How do you feel?"

Tianzun rubbed his head against his shoulder twice, freeing one hand to hug his waist: "I miss you so much."

...It's not this feeling! Zhou Mingrui was unconsciously hugged to the bed, Tianzun quietly hugged him in his arms, and sighed happily: "I feel really good now, oh, very happy...happy! You haven't let me hug you like this for a long time!"

"Wait a minute," Zhou Mingrui was distracted by him and had to give up thinking for the time being, "Have you ever hugged me like this before?"

"Of course," Tianzun looked at him, his eyes like thick honey that couldn't be melted, "When you were sleeping, but you were always sleeping at that time, ignoring me and not talking, as soft as a puppet without bones, but I couldn't bear to really make you into a secret puppet... It's so much better to be like this now!"

"You sound so perverted..." Zhou Mingrui shuddered, imagining the treatment he had suffered while unconscious, and couldn't help struggling. However, it was really hard to tell who would win in a close fight between two fragile pillars, so in the end they still used some inhuman means, and the result was that the slippery tentacles were tangled together in a mess, forming a Chinese knot of death, and they were completely inseparable.

Tianzun sniffed his hair like he was sucking a cat, then kissed his ears and the side of his cheek, buried his face in his neck and inhaled; Zhou Mingrui struggled desperately to show that he had no interest in the same sex at all. To himself, who came to visit his illness with good intentions, Tianzun's behavior was completely like the farmer and the snake, Mr. Dongguo and the wolf. In short, he was a beast in human form.

Tianzun stole his thoughts and hugged him tighter. He said in a sticky voice, "My dear, mythical creatures don't have strict genders. If you like, I can become a woman. I remember you like white hair very much..." He suddenly narrowed his eyes, "...Is this why you are so nice to that mercury snake?"

Stop digging into my ACG beer! Zhou Mingrui shouted in despair in his heart, and fiercely retorted: "I don't have a copper smelting fetish! Why don't you say that I like Ouroboros? After all, His face has been stamped by the real Creator to be good-looking!"

"Oh..." Tianzun said slowly, and the hand on his waist pinched him without knowing when, "You still want to hug left and right."

TBC

summary: Tianzun is actually a love-brained person

4

"I'm not a philandering man," Zhou Mingrui defended. "No matter whether it's the mother tree or the witch, I can always abide by my duties and control myself. So it has nothing to do with whether it's good-looking, whether it's a man or a woman, or whether it's white hair. I have never thought about hugging girls left and right!"

Tianzun's gloomy face brightened up a little: "Oh, so you are still innocent now."

Your adjectives...

Zhou Mingrui gave up arguing with him about the details and asked, "By the way, that glass of red wine—the one you passed out after drinking, which I brought you back with—I also took a sip, but nothing happened. Do you have any idea about this?"

Tianzun looked at him with a new and strange gaze: "You drank it? You drank it directly? I thought you were so cowardly that you wouldn't touch it at all. You would choose to throw it far away, or pull a secret puppet's historical projection to drink it."

He was deeply shocked and moved. He leaned on Zhou Mingrui's shoulder and started to cry: "My dear, I am so confused. How much do you care about me?"

Zhou Mingrui: ............

Yes, why did I drink it directly? He fell into self-doubt and for a moment forgot to push away Tianzun who was leaning on his shoulder and getting tighter and tighter. He leaned close to his ear and said, "I am so touched, Xiao Zhou, I must give you a little reward - in fact, even if you want to hug left and right, it's not impossible. The one on the left is me, and the one on the right is me. In fact, the whole Sefirah Castle is me. I and I can line up and let you choose. What is that called..." He clapped his hands and recalled the TV series he had watched in the old city before, "Flip the cards!"

As Tianzun clapped his hands, a sandalwood tray appeared in the air with four signs neatly placed on it. Zhou Mingrui held back for a moment, then couldn't control himself and turned them all over in one breath.

Fusheng Xuanhuang Immortal Lord, Fusheng Xuanhuang Tianjun, Fusheng Xuanhuang God, Fusheng Xuanhuang Tianzun.

Zhou Mingrui: "..."

He was speechless as he picked up the tassel with the words "Fusheng Xuanhuang Shangdi" engraved on it and shook it in front of Tianzun's eyes. "Tell me the truth, is this honorable name of yours used to disgust God?"

"Although it seems so, it is not in line with my consistent purpose. The real can become fake, and the fake can become real... I mean I won't use such a clumsy means to take advantage of Him, although it sounds like I did." Tianzun said with a smile, "The Jade Emperor of the Western Continent, the full name is 'Taishang Kaitian Zhifu Yuli Hanzhen Tidao Jinque Yungong Jiuqiong Yuli Wandao Wuwei Dadao Mingdian Haotian Jinque Supreme Jade Emperor Xiexie Datianzun Xuanqiong Gaoshangdi', so I just took a little advantage of the 'Country of Disorder', not God's."

"But Xiao Zhou, since you turned over four cards, there will be four of me sleeping with you tonight." He touched Zhou Mingrui's hair distressedly, "I didn't expect you to be so open-minded for the first time. Can you really bear it?"

"...I beg you to go away!"

With a "ding" sound, the clock in Tianzun's classical Chinese house rang, as if a hint that the time limit had expired and was lifted. The two entangled masters of mystery simultaneously showed expressions of sudden enlightenment.

5

They sat side by side at the table, looking at the glass of red wine that was always warm and always exuding fragrance.

"So we made that glass of red wine together," Zhou Mingrui pinched his brows, a little bit unbelievable, "I would actually play this kind of game with you..."

Tianzun patted his shoulder comfortingly: "It was a festival, and you really liked the excitement, but you couldn't go down to play, so you could only watch. I felt sorry for you, so I tried to find a way to make you happy. It turned out to be a good surprise, wasn't it?"

It was Christmas at that time, with romantic snowflakes falling from the sky. People gathered around the fireplace to keep warm or kiss, enjoying the rare food and leisure time. Zhou Mingrui looked down from Origin Castle, his eyes sparkling under the lights of thousands of houses, like the most beautiful brown amber under the sun.

Tianzun suggested, let's make a cocktail. This is a little game. We guess what the other person needs, put it in the cup, and finally make it into wine. After that, I will steal this memory, until the Spring Festival of the Western Continent, it will suddenly appear in Sefirah Castle and lure us to drink it without vigilance! Isn't it fun?

——When the bells of New Year's Eve ring, the stolen memories will return, and we will remember the origin of this glass of wine.

Zhou Mingrui thought for a moment and said, "Well, so first you chose red wine."

"The symbolic meaning of red wine is a relaxed and romantic atmosphere." Tianzun propped up his head and looked at him, "I think you are too tense. You need to drink some wine to relax your nerves. Beer is only for quenching thirst and is not suitable as a raw material for mixing drinks. Distilled spirits are too stimulating and I don't like them. So between white wine and red wine, I chose the latter. Red is more festive."

"Then I chose apples." Zhou Mingrui said a little awkwardly, "We actually liked to celebrate holidays back then. We mixed Chinese and foreign holidays together. In short, it was a trap created by consumerism, or it was a chance for all the busy people to give themselves a moment of revelry. In addition to shopping on Christmas Eve, people also paid attention to eating apples. I don't know if you were awake at that time. According to what you said before, it was half asleep and half awake? Anyway, I have always missed the previous era. I think it is very interesting. In terms of reading comprehension, this is an expression of the author's homesickness or something... It's beautiful. I want to share it with you. After all, there is no one else to talk about this except you. Lao Huang is still doing sit-ups. It feels strange to talk about this with the goddess and Adam."

"I'm honored, dear." Tianzun replied with a smile, "Then I added cinnamon. - This special meaning is not that strong. I thought of it after you put the apple. It's a very classic combination, and the sweet taste suits you very well. If you go to a coffee shop, if it's not for maintaining your image, I guess you would be more inclined to order a cup of hot cocoa with cinnamon powder, right? Oh, Xiao Zhou's ears turned red. Okay, I admit that I have secretly looked at your order records when you went to Starbucks alone a few times..."

"When will you learn to respect other people's privacy..." Zhou Mingrui muttered quietly, but he also knew that there were only so many behaviors that a creature like Tianzun could "reform". Rather than saying that He could reform, it would be better to say that He controlled himself a little bit - not directly taking ideas from his head like now - which was already a huge improvement. "I think you have a sweet taste. Apple alone may not be enough, so I added a little honey (Tianzun: So you are the genius!). I have always had doubts. I don't seem to like sweets that much. I also like spicy and salty. Why do I feel that the higher the sequence, the sweeter the taste? Are you secretly influencing me?"

Tianzun refuted unconvincingly: "Not necessarily. You seemed to have a saying at that time, "If you feel bitter, eat something sweet." Your life was indeed not easy... Of course, I do like sweet things, that's true. Who doesn't like sweets?"

"Finally, there are roses. I used a little solidified syrup to stick the roses on the rim of the glass. Red wine and delicate little red roses, aren't they beautiful? I know that roses represent love at that time, and I also know that you need love too much, dear. You don't hate it, and you even like making friends, but your life journey has been planned long ago. You have to move forward all the way, leaving behind the friends you know along the way, and most importantly, you have no intention and no way to truly open your heart to any of them. You dare not tell the whole truth in front of your psychologist." He pretended to cover his heart, "This desire to be loved is too strong, and I fainted briefly. Fortunately, my dear Xiao Zhou is here. Praise the Fool!"

Zhou Mingrui was silent.

After a while, he sighed and said, "Could you please stop attacking me while you're talking?"

"Sorry, my instinct kicked in. Next time, I will eat fewer hunters before chatting." Tianzun remained calm, took out a wine dispenser, and poured out two glasses of red wine. "Anyway, tonight is our wedding night, let's drink to each other, Xiao Zhou."

Zhou Mingrui turned his head away stubbornly: "No, I want sweet iced tea."

Zhou Mingrui turned his head back: "Wait, no, who wants to spend the wedding night with you?"

Tian Zun poured him a new cup of sweet iced tea: "Okay, okay. As fellow countrymen from the Western Continent, on this New Year's Eve without the Spring Festival Gala, can we have a drink together?"

This time Zhou Mingrui took the cup.

They raised their glasses and clinked them together.

"Happy New Year's Eve."

END

【A short extra】

Tianzun compared himself to the mercury snake and tried to dye his long hair silver-white. He turned around and grabbed Zhou Mingrui: "How is it?"

He showed an expression that said, "Praise me quickly."

Zhou Mingrui choked for a moment: "I think you look better with black hair."

Tianzun suddenly felt an unexpected wave of ecstasy: "Wait - I heard you praise me for being pretty, right?!"

Zhou Mingrui: "..."

Tianzun: "You praised my black hair for being beautiful!"

Zhou Mingrui: "Yes."