11 • breaking promises

THE WALKING DEAD- a rick grimes fanfic story -

EDITED: 4/10/24 & 6/19/24

GREENE FARM 📍

season 2, episode 7

"It's none of your business," Hershel muttered to me as I stood in front of him with my hands on my hips.

It was the next day, early in the morning and I had brought up the barn full of walkers to Hershel, he was beyond pissed off that I knew about it and that I was questioning him.

"I live here too, so it is my business!" I scoffed at him, causing the man to shoot up from the chair he was sat in. I gulped, taking a step away from the man.

"This is my farm, I don't have to tell you a damn thing." Hershel seethed through his teeth, I clenched my jaw and shook my head in disbelief and anger.

"Everyone will know about it soon anyway," I shot out coldly, sending one last glare toward Hershel before pushing the front door open and letting it close with a harsh slam.

I quickly limped out of the house and strode towards the barn that Glenn had told me about, and the barn that I saw the walkers in.

As I approached the barn I could see Rick's whole group looking around the structure and talking to each other, I cursed at myself for them finding out about it so early on.

My pace quickened as my eyes scanned over the group, my body trembling in anxiety. Most of their heads perked up at the sight of me, but of course, Shane was the only one who stomped over to me— full fury behind his cold brown eyes.

Before I could even attempt to speak, Shane's stiff body was in front of mine, his finger pointed right at my face as he began to yell at me. "You knew about this didn't you, you bitch, you—"

With a growl, I roughly pushed Shane away from me, causing the man to stumble on his feet, his fiery eyes never leaving mine. My heart relentlessly pounded in my ears as my body began to tremble with the same rage that took over Shane.

Around the two of us, I could hear defensive yells leave everyone, their bodies moving to get between the two of us. I gritted my teeth, my cold eyes staying on Shane's.

"Shane!"

"Shane Stop!

"Brother, leave her alone."

"Shane leave it alone."

"You—" I began, my finger sharply pointing at Shane, "get the fuck away from me, I didn't know about any of this." I growled out.

At the same time, I took a glance around the group, my heart dropping at their sorrowful expressions. They stared at me with gaped expressions, a look of betrayal crossing their faces. I shook my head, knowing they didn't know the truth.

Shane's face formed into a scowl, his body twisting to face Rick. "You're lyin'— Rick, she's lyin' to us. She knew, she—"

To my left, Glenn took a step forward, clearing his throat awkwardly. "No, she's not." Glenn interrupted, causing everyone turned to look at Glenn, waiting for an explanation.

The man sighed and looked at the ground, "I told her, I confronted her and she didn't know, I swear." he told them, everyone looked at each other, Shane's breathing slowed down and he turned to Rick, who was surprisingly right beside me without me knowing.

"We gotta go. We've been talking about Fort Benning for a long time—" Shane began, but Rick walked towards him and shook his head.

"We can't go." Rick lowly said to him, swinging his hand towards him.

"Why, Rick? Why?" Shane scoffed in response, only to be met with an oddly silent Rick.

Rick awkwardly turned away from Shane, avoiding eye contact with the man at all costs. But I knew the reason why he needed to stay, and it was because Lori was pregnant, and Carl didn't deserve to live his life out there.

"Because my daughter is still out there..." Carol said quietly.

With a sad sigh, I turned around to see she was standing right beside me, her arms crossed over her chest in comfort. I reached forward, placing my hand onto her shoulder, and squeezed it in a comforting manner. I then looked back over at Shane to see him covering his mouth with his hand, softly, yet mockingly laughing to himself.

"Okay," Shane looked at all of us for a second, "Okay, I think it's time we all start to just consider the other possibility—"

My mouth dropped in shock at Shane's words, my mind not willing to comprehend what he was saying. Was he really that shitty of a person?

I pulled my hand off the woman's shoulder, my fists clenched by my side as I stepped closer to the man. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" I spat out.

Shane mindlessly shrugged his shoulders, not bothering to reply. Rick turned his head over his shoulder, his eyes gawking down at me before turning back to Shane and shaking his head.

"We're not leaving Sophia behind." Rick plainly told him, leaving no room for argument.

I looked over at Carol to see the sad look on her face, only angering me more. I then looked past Carol and saw a pissed-off Daryl, who slowly stood in front of Carol in almost a protective manner.

"I'm close to finding this girl. Nola and I just found her damn doll two days ago." Daryl yelled as he walked towards Shane.

My wide eyes looked back and forth between the two rapidly, my heartbeat quickened as I could tell a fight was definitely going to break out, but I wasn't opposed to it.

"Y'all found her doll, that's what you did. You found a doll," Shane argued, completely disregarding Daryl's words.

I wagged my head back and forth as I walked forward, my steps quick and filled with determination till I found myself chest to chest against Shane. "You have no idea what you're talking about!" I shouted in fury.

Rick gently grabbed my shoulder, trying to pull me away but I shrugged his hand away without a thought. Rick didn't have to do anything as Shane started to pace around while keeping his eye on me and Daryl.

"I'm just sayin' what needs to be said! You get a good lead, it's in the first 48 hours—"

"—Shane, Shane, Stop!" Rick pleaded with the man loudly.

"Let me say something else to you both," Shane paused his pacing, conveniently standing right in front of me once again and pointed his finger at Daryl and me. "If she was alive and saw y'all comin', a bloodied up stranger," He pointed at me, "and Daryl methed out with a buck knife and geek ears around his neck, she would run in the other direction man!"

With all my strength I raised my arms from my side, aggressively pushing against Shane's chest. I watched as he stumbled, nearly falling but sucessfully steadied himself. The man didn't take a second to think before lurching his body to mine, his hand raising up to swing.

But before anything else could happen, Daryl and Rick quickly got in between the two of us, Daryl screaming at him ready to start a fight while Rick was trying to do the opposite and disperse it.

Daryl and Shane stop fighting due to Rick and the rest of the group pulling them apart from each other, "Back off!" Rick yelled out.

Lori's body swerved between the chaos, her hands gripping Shane to try and make sure he didn't continue fighting, but Shane rudely and harshly pulled away and pointed his finger toward her, "Keep your hands off me!"

Shane moves to walk away but Rick yells at him, "Just let me talk to Hershel! Let me figure it out." I look down and shake my head slowly, I didn't think Hershel would be open to talking with Rick now.

"What are you gonna figure out?!" Shane screams out, I flinch back but quickly make my way towards Rick to stand between the two, Lori's hand on Shane's chest to hold him back.

"If we're gonna stay, if we're gonna clear this barn, I have to talk him into it, this is his land." Rick harshly explained to Shane, Shane took deep breaths as he pushed away from Lori, trying to calm himself.

"Hershel sees those things in there as people, sick people, his wife, his stepson." Dale spoke up to Rick, everyone looked at Dale in surprise, "You knew too?" Rick asked him, he nodded his head.

"Yesterday, I talked to Hershel," Dale told him, Rick and Shane looked at him in shock.

"And you waited the night?" Shane exclaimed loudly, Dale quickly cut him off.

"I thought we could survive one more night," Dale told them bringing his hands up, "We did. I was waiting till this morning to say something, but Glenn wanted to be the one." Dale sighed out, I then looked over at Glenn who was staring at the dirt-covered ground.

I then remembered yesterday when I allowed Glenn to tell the group, I mean... I knew Glenn was going to fold and tell everyone eventually but I didn't know it would be this morning and that any of this would be happening.

"The man is crazy, Rick if Hershel thinks those things are alive or not." Shane lowly said to Rick, but I quickly pushed past Rick to get closer to Shane once more, as I got closer to Shane I felt someone grab my shoulders trying to pull me away.

"He's not crazy! Shut the hell up!" I yelled at Shane, I could hear Rick softly telling me to calm down and back off, I gave one last glare to Shane and pushed Rick away.

"Get off of me," I muttered rudely towards Rick before limping towards the house. Back towards the barn, I could hear the walkers loudly banging against the barn doors, growling and snarling.

•••

After my heated altercation with Shane, I ran back to the house lost in my thoughts, I wasn't quite sure where or how I stood with this situation. I knew I was angry that Hershel and the rest of the family kept the walkers a secret from me but I didn't think that Shane should have any say on how they should be handled.

I sighed to myself and ran my hands through my short hair, I leaned my elbows against the kitchen table looking down at the freshly made food in front of me. Hershel was sitting beside me, we both hadn't said a single word to each other since our fight this morning.

Hershel was reading a book as he ate his food, I picked some food onto my fork and ate it, chewing on it slowly. I stared at Hershel as he read his book and ignored me.

All of a sudden a loud knock filled the air, I looked up from my food and looked at Hershel who continued to stare down at his book. "Come on in!" Hershel called out, I sighed and looked back at my plate of food taking a small bite of fruit.

I heard slow footsteps from the side of the house making their way into the dining room. I looked up from my plate to see Rick looking directly at me, once my eyes met Rick's he quickly looked away from me and looked at Hershel.

"A little light reading for lunch?" He jokingly asked him, Hershel glanced up from the book for a second before he turned his gaze back on it. I eat a few more bites of my food before finishing, pushing the plate away from me.

"Been working so hard lately, I get my studying where I can," Hershel told him, his fork loudly scraping against the plate as he picked up more food.

"You know we can help you out with your work." Rick offered, he took a step closer to the table and leaned against it, using his arms to hold him up. I only shook my head, I sighed catching Rick's attention, he stared at me for a moment before looking back at Hershel.

"It's my field to tend," Hershel told him shortly, I cleared my throat awkwardly and looked in between the two men. Hershel sent a short glare toward Rick, an awkward silence filling the air.

"We found the barn," Rick announced to Hershel, my breath got caught in my throat as I looked in between both Hershel and Rick, anxious to see what Hershel would do.

Hershel glanced up at me, and I stared at him back. Hershel's eyes were filled with betrayal and anger as he stared me down, and although I tried to act unbothered deep down it hurt that he was angry at me. We both stared at each other for a few seconds before he looked back down at his book, "Leave it be." He muttered.

Rick looked between the both of us, noticing the tension, but he cleared his throat and landed his eyes on Hershel, "Well, I'd like to talk about it, but either way, your barn, your say." Rick assured him, Hershel only shook his head.

"I don't wanna talk about the barn, I don't wanna debate." Hershel shot out, making sure to send another glare toward Rick to get his point across.

"Not a debate, a discussion." Rick corrected the old man, Hershel chewed on his food while he stared at the table lost in thought. I stood to my feet slowly and grabbed my empty plate, I went to walk out of the room but heard Hershel's voice.

"I need you and your group gone by the end of the week," Hershel told him coldly, I paused in my steps and saw Hershel take a long sip of his drink, Rick staring down at the wooden table.

"You can't do that Hershel," I interjected quietly, stepping closer to him. He didn't bother turning his head, shooting a curt response.

"It's my farm I'll do what I want." He muttered, his tone final.

I shook my head in disbelief, slowly glimpsing over at Rick to see him looking at the both of us sadly, not wanting to be kicked off the farm, but I could also tell he was determined to convince Hershel to stay.

"I talked to Dale," Rick began, "You and I have our differences with the way we look at walkers," He closed his eyes and sighed before correcting himself, "Those... 'people'." He emphasized uncomfortably, which caused Hershel to look up from his book and glare at Rick.

"They may be dead, they may be alive. But my people, us, we are alive right now, right here, right in front of you," Rick preached out with a rasp, Hershel and I staring at him in wonder. I looked down at the plate in my hand and gently set it down on the table but continued to stand.

"You send us out there, and that could change," Rick told him aggressively, his eyes pleading with Hershel, but he wasn't having any of it.

"I've given you safe harbor. My conscience is clear." Hershel uttered harshly, I looked at Hershel shockingly, never has he ever acted this way before, but I guess the world brought his true colors out.

Rick didn't reply but pulled out a chair next to Hershel and sat down, silence filled the air until Rick spoke once more.

"This farm is special, You've been shielded from what's been going on out there, Dale said you saw everything happen on the news..." Rick scoffed out, Hershel still not responding, "Well, it's been a long time since the cameras stopped rolling." Hershel grabbed his drink and plate as he stood to his feet, Rick quickly following after him.

"The first time I saw a walker," Rick called out, I watched the both of them exit the room, and I slowly followed behind Rick. "it was just half a body snapping at me from the ground. My inclination wasn't to kill it." Hershel's pace quickened up as we were now in the kitchen, Rick's words spitting out faster.

"But what the world is out there isn't what you saw on TV. It is much, much worse and it changes you," Rick's eyes glanced over at me, I was stood in the doorway of the kitchen as I watched Hershel place his dishes in the sink.

"Either into one of them... or something a lot less than the person you were, Please do not send us out there again." Rick pleaded with the stone-cold man, I watched as Rick begged Hershel to allow them to stay.

As I listened to Rick I thought about myself, I thought that I had changed due to the world going to shit, I changed due to what I've seen and what I've had to do. I had changed into something I would have never thought I would have.

"The first time I saw a walker..." I began, Rick and Hershel slowly look over at me, I sighed and closed my eyes as I remembered the day of my 30th birthday, the day the world went to shit, the day I saw my first walker.

"I watched it attack a family, it ate the children, right in front of me. And... on my way here from Atlanta, I was attacked by one. I had to kill it, or it would've killed me." I informed Hershel quietly, I opened my mouth to even talk about my parents but decided against it. Hershel and Rick both look at me, Hershel looking lost in thought while Rick silently thanking me for speaking up.

Hershel's head slowly turned away from me, looking down into the sink. A long silence filled the kitchen, Rick continued to stare at the side of my face, I tried to ignore his gaze as I stared at the back of Hershel's head. Rick's eye gazed a second longer on me before turning away and looking at Hershel.

I was silently wishing that Hershel would realize what the world really is, he probably wasn't even aware that both Maggie and I got attacked by walkers on our last run out, and I wondered if his perspective would change due to that knowledge. But then I realized that he didn't sway his answer after Rick and I both shared our experiences with walkers, so I don't think he'd swayed his answer then.

"My wife's pregnant."

Rick's voice knocked me out of my thoughts, I watched Hershel's head perk up a bit once more but he continued to stare out the window for a moment but then slowly turned around again to look at Rick.

Hershel looked over towards me for a second, observing my reaction but his attention went back to Rick as he began to speak again. I leaned deeper into the doorway of the kitchen, Rick's soft but raspy voice soothing my ears.

"That's either a gift here or a death sentence out there," Rick's voice wavered as he spoke to Hershel desperately, the frown on my face only grew, "If we were to stay we could help you with the work, with securing this place. We can survive together." Rick rasped out pleadingly, my own eyes pricking with heartfelt tears.

"Rick, I'm telling you we can't." Hershel declared, I tightly closed my eyes and shook my head. I had to bite my tongue in order to keep myself from yelling at Hershel, he could do this, he just didn't want to.

"You think about what you're doing," Rick calmly said, Hershel's voice only rises above Rick's in frustration.

"I've thought about it—"

"Think about it—

"I've thought about it!" Hershel yelled out loudly.

As I watch the loud interaction I remove myself from my leaning position and find myself beside Rick with my hand on his shoulder, Rick was tensed up, his jaw tightly clenched as well as his fists as he also fought the urge to cuss out Hershel.

"Think about it again, we can't go out there," Rick told him harshly, he didn't waste any more time before backing away from Hershel and hastily walking out of the house. I turn to see Maggie staring at us through the doorway, I look away from her. As I watched Rick leave my first thought was to follow after him but I decided against it, I needed to try to convince Hershel.

•••

Maggie and I were silently standing in the kitchen together, I was cleaning the dishes thoroughly and quickly while Maggie was angrily shredding lettuce with her own hands. She was obviously pissed off that Hershel wasn't allowing Rick and his group to stay, I knew she and Glenn had a thing going on so I assumed that's why she wanted them to stay.

"Hi, honey." Hershel's voice broke the silence drawing my attention away from the dishes. He slowly moved inside the room, snatching a mug from a cabinet and pouring coffee into it. I awkwardly cleared my throat, turning back to my task at hand to wipe my soapy hands.

Hershel turned towards Maggie when he didn't hear her reply, he sighed out once he saw Maggie's frustrated posture. Hershel looked over at me, and I looked at him distantly, trying to avoid eye contact. I crossed my arms over my chest as I leaned against the counter, looking down at the ground uncomfortably.

"Carl doesn't need any more help from me and Nola." Hershel sighed, Maggie slowly looked up at her father, enraged by his words, and I was too. I slowly shook my head, letting out a scoff as well.

"That doesn't matter." I mockingly laughed, Hershel glanced toward me but didn't reply.

"So... that's it?" Maggie asked harshly, her tone mixed with clear irritation. She shook her head, her hands clenching the lettuce to continue to rip it aggressively. Hershel pulled himself out a chair and sat in it, while slowly speaking, "Rick was trying to make his case,"

Me and Maggie didn't say anything, I turned my head to look outside the window. "It'll be hard, they'll have to be careful. But he was being dramatic, they're a strong group, they've done well on their own," Hershel tried to tell Maggie, I softly gasped at Hershel's words, snapping my head back toward him.

"He was not being dramatic Hershel!" I called him out, and Hershel snapped his head towards me, his jaw clenched, "You haven't even been—" I go to yell once more but Hershel harshly and coldly interrupted while staring at me, Maggie's motions paused as she heard us.

"They're just gonna have to find their own farm," He snapped shortly, I shook my head and turned away from him. "There's plenty of them now to choose from." Hershel insisted, trying to suppress Maggie's anger towards him, but Maggie only shook her head.

"There aren't," Maggie muttered, Hershel leaned in towards her to listen but I talked over her.

"Every one of them nearby is burned out by walkers," I tell him, Hershel looks over at me with his mouth open in shock, and he shakes his head.

"'Walkers?'" He emphasizes, obviously upset with my choice of wording, that I bite my bottom lip and look down at my once bloody combat boots. "Yeah, Walkers," Maggie confirmed rudely, Hershel looked at the both of us indifferently, as if he didn't know who we were anymore.

"So we just keep these people here forever? How are they my responsibility?" Hershel asked us both, he let out a mocking laugh.

"'A new command I give to you,'" Maggie began knowingly, I frowned at the words Hershel used to say to me and his children, "'Love one another. As I have loved you'... that's what you told me, right?" Maggie's hand was flat on the table as she leaned against it while staring deeply into her father's eyes.

Hershel is quiet, nothing comes from his mouth, and his angered expression is now softened into guilt.

"I was mad about Mom. Mad about you marryin' Annette, I was 14 years old and I was awful to you, more than anybody..." Maggie's eyes began to fill with tears, but she quickly blinked them away. "All I wanted to do was do things Nola could, smoke, drink, shoplift." She laughed to herself and I softly smiled at her words, although I never shoplifted.

"'Love one another', that's what you told me." She told him, and by the look in his eyes I could tell he remembered, he was aware of what he used to and still tells his daughter. "Maggie... that was different." Once those words come out of Hershel's mouth I place my hands over my face and fight the urge to cry in frustration, Maggie was staring at her father, stunned by his words, he still didn't get the point.

"No," She uttered blankly, she gulped sadly, "You're different." She corrected him, he furrowed his eyebrows and nodded his head in defeat. I looked to see the disappointment on Maggie's face, she also wished her father believed everything differently, and I wish I could fix that for her so I wouldn't have to see the sadness on her face any longer.

"I am," he confessed, "But we're not. I love you, and Nola, like my own child. That's part of this." Hershel told us warmly, he looked between the both of us, and I breathed out shakily. I was happy that Hershel considered me a daughter due to the fact that I considered him like a second father.I pushed myself away from the counter and slowly made my way to the island in the middle of the kitchen where both Hershel and Maggie were, I stood at the shorter end of the table and placed my hands on it to lean.

"Is this about the Asian boy?" Hershel asked Maggie suggestively, I let out a snort and covered my mouth. Maggie's eyes widen, and she slaps my arm playfully while shaking her head. Hershel's eyebrows raised up as his attention turned towards me, his pointer finger pointing towards me.

"Don't think I don't notice how you look at Rick. Nola, he's a married man." Hershel pointed out, I let out a gasp my hand only tightening over my mouth as it was open in shock. It was Maggie's time to laugh in my face, she let out loud chuckles which caused Hershel to smile.

Our laughter disappeared slowly, our serious expressions coming back on our faces. Hershel re-asked his question, "So this is about the Asian boy? Do you want me to—"

"No," Maggie whimpered, I looked away from Hershel to see the tears layering over Maggie's light green eyes, and she sighed. "His name is Glenn, and..." Maggie's tear-filled eyes looked over at me, I frowned to myself and looked away from her for a second.

"Him and Nola saved my life yesterday when one of the people you think is sick tried to kill me." She told him shakily, her frown on her face deepening. I slowly looked over at Hershel to see his normal deadpan expression, but a hint of surprise in his eyes as he searched Maggie's face.

"How's that for dramatic?" She sniffled, tying back to the beginning of our conversation. "Hershel, things aren't what you think they are," I whispered hopelessly, I knew it wasn't my job to convince Hershel and it was getting tiring to do so, but he needed to realize what he was doing to those people by sending them away without hesitation.

"They aren't," Maggie agreed, "Don't do this." She pleaded, her voice wavering ever so slightly. I looked over at Maggie to see tears now falling down her cheeks slowly, her chest wracking softly as she tried to hold back her sobs. "Okay? It's—It's not about me and Glenn, or Nola and Rick. It's not even about me, Nola, and you..." Maggie softly cried, I brought my hand down to hers and gently held it in comfort, she tightly grabbed it.

"It's about you," she stated tearfully, "It's about who you are, who you're gonna be." The three of us say nothing else, Maggie and I patiently waiting for Hershel to say anything, the both of us probably waiting for him to fold and tell us that they can stay, but it doesn't happen.

What happens is Jimmy yelling Hershel's name through the house, running into the kitchen distracting the old man from the deep conversation he was just having with his daughter and me. "It happened again." Jimmy breathlessly told Hershel,  and Hershel gave both Maggie and me one last look before slowly walking away with Jimmy.

As soon as Hershel walks out of the room Maggie falls into a puddle of tears, soft sobs wracking from her chest, I pull the younger girl who was like a little sister to me in a tight loving hug. I thought to myself as I hugged the girl, closing my eyes and praying that Hershel would choose to do the right thing.

I prayed. And I don't pray.

•••

"Hey." I softly said to Lori, I sat down next to her and watched as she chopped the carrots, she turned towards me and offered a weak smile before continuing chopping. I furrowed my eyebrows as I noticed her shaking hands, she was obviously upset about something.

"What's going on?" I asked her slowly, she stopped her chopping and placed the knife down. I turned my body towards her and she did the same.

"I can trust you? Right?" Lori asked me quietly, looking around the both of us nervously. I looked around as well before smiling comfortingly and nodding my head.

"Obviously yes," I laugh but I compose myself quickly after, "I'd like to think we're friends, Lori," I said slowly, my eyes glancing down at the grass. I could hear Lori softly breathing, I looked up to see her staring down at the cut-up carrots before turning her attention towards me.

"I took the morning-after pills but I threw 'em up, and... I told Rick about... Shane and I," Lori told me guiltily, she gulped and bit her bottom lip roughly. "Shane... Rick told him, and he's tellin' me it's his baby." Lori shook her head and closed her eyes tightly, my face fell at Lori's words, and I thought about Shane and how he was convinced that the baby was his.

"Even if the baby is biologically his, doesn't change the fact that it's Rick's baby," I told her, she nodded her head along with my words and licked her lips.

"I told him that," She breathed, I noticed tears had sprung in her eyes and she let them run down her pale cheeks freely. "Lately Shane has been scarin' me, he's been... different," Lori told me worriedly, I tilted my head and furrowed my eyebrows in confusion. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"I don't know... there's just somethin' off." She told me anxiously, I looked at Lori to see her fiddling with her hands as she looked over at me.

I nodded my head and slowly stood to my feet, "I'll keep an eye on him, I've noticed it too. But... just tell me if he does anything else. Okay?" I calmly and quietly assured Lori, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder with a slight squeeze. Lori appreciatively smiled at me, and we both looked at each other silently before departing.

I thought about Lori's words as I aimlessly walked around their camp, looking for Shane. I wasn't sure what I was going to do when I saw him, punch him, talk to him, stare at him, anything could go down.

As I walked through the camp I didn't see anyone so I made my way towards the house, that's when I saw Carl sitting in one of the rocking chairs, Patricia and Beth sitting with him, Glenn and Maggie sitting together on the porch steps.

"Hey, Mr. Invincible!" I called out to him, everyone including Carl turned towards me, and I slowly walked past Glenn and Maggie. Carl looked at Beth and Patricia once before standing to his feet and following me to the other side of the porch where I usually sat.

"Hey, Nola." He murmured upsettingly, I bit the inside of my lip as I saw the sad Carl. I tilt my head to the side, "You okay?" I asked softly, lately, everyone has been in a bad mood, which was understandable.

"I just... I want to find Sophia." He sighed sadly, I softly grabbed his arm and crouched down to his level. "We will. I promise. And I never break my promises." I lightly tell him with a caring smile, trying to brighten him up.

"You promise?" Carl emphasizes to make sure I'm being honest, I nod my head and pat his shoulder. "I do." I finally said, Carl hesitantly smiled and leaned towards me offering a hug which I pleasantly returned.

I looked up from the group to see Andrea and T-Dog from afar making their way toward the rest of the group, Glenn and Maggie playfully flirting with each other, that's when I realized I didn't see Shane anywhere.

"Hey... By chance have you seen Shane?" I asked Carl awkwardly as I pulled from our hug, Carl thought to himself for a moment and sighed.

"Yeah, me and him were just talking earlier. But... I don't know where he went, I'm sorry." Carl told me with a sigh, I shook my head, "It's fine, I'll catch up with him later." I tell Carl with a final nod. I look up one last time to see T-Dog and Andrea quickening up their pace towards us, I smile at Carl and walk past him to stand behind Glenn and Maggie.

"Do you know what's going on?" T-Dog loudly asks us, Glenn and Maggie look over at the two and stand to their feet, that's when I walk down the porch steps.

"Where is everyone?" Andrea asked us as she looked around, everyone shrugging their shoulders, Glenn looked at me before speaking.

"You haven't seen Rick?" Glenn asked them, I then thought to myself that I hadn't seen Rick since he stormed out of our house, and that was hours ago.

"He went off with Hershel, we were supposed to leave a couple of hours ago." My worry only deepened with Andrea's response, I quickly looked over at Maggie to see her already staring at me, something in her face told me she already knew what Rick was doing but couldn't tell me, I slowly looked away from her.

"Yeah, you were. What the hell?" I turned as I heard Daryl loudly scoff, as I looked I saw a very pissed-off Daryl followed by Carol. I stood with my eyebrows furrowed as I watched the group find their way back, but most of the people still missing.

"Damn it. Isn't anyone taking this seriously?" Daryl barked out angrily, everyone stood in silence, "We got us a damn trail." He muttered. Everyone shuffled on their feetawkwardly, I looked at Daryl with my arms folded over my chest as I was lost in thought. That's when Daryl turned he nodded his head and laughed, "Ah. Here we go."

Everyone turned their head to see what Daryl was motioning at to see the one and only Shane, he was speed walking towards the house with their bag of guns around his shoulder. I squinted my eyes and tilted my head as I watched as Shane determinedly stomped his way towards us, it caused a twinge of anxiety to fill my stomach.

"What's all this?" Daryl asked Shane as they both met each other halfway, Shane had an enraged look on his face as he stomped his way towards us, he glared at everyone, his eyes stopped on me before turning to Daryl and handing him a shotgun.

"You with me man?" Shane asked Daryl while raising his eyebrows, Daryl saying a soft "yeah". Shane continued walking, his eyes looking at all of us before his voice loudly boomed.

"Time to grow up," He bellowed out to everyone, I could hear my heartbeat loudly pumping in my ears as Shane pulled the bag of guns off his shoulder.

"You already got yours?" Shane asked the rest of his group, Andrea nodded her head, "Yeah, where's Dale?" She asked as she looked around for the missing man, Shane looked away from her and paid his attention to T-Dog, handing him a gun. "He's on his way."

"Thought we couldn't carry?" T-Dog asked confusingly, T-Dog looked in between Maggie and I. I gently shook my head and sighed, but I continued to stare as Shane handed guns to everyone while sending us glares in between.

"We can and we have to." Shane spit out in anger, he stood still and stared at everyone. I turned my head towards the porch to see Carl, Beth, and Patricia watching the man with wide eyes and open mouths. I turned back towards him, my anxiety shimmering down and my anger boiling over as I saw the familiar snarky expression on Shane's face.

"Look," He began loudly, "It was one thing sitting around here picking daisies when we thought this place was supposed to be safe, but now we know it ain't." He loudly shared with the group, I shook my head with a loud scoff in annoyance, Shane's eyes landing on me once but they quickly trailed off to Glenn, walking towards him and forcing a shotgun in his hand.

"How 'bout you, man? You gonna protect yours?" Shane asked Glenn while motioning towards Maggie. Glenn looked at Shane, then at Maggie, he sighed and grabbed the gun from Shane's hand. Watching this only pissed me off even more, I walked past Maggie and stood in front of Shane, his eyes finally glaring into mine.

"Can you stop this shit?" I growled out, slowly pushing Shane away with my hands. Shane shook his head, unaffected by my small push, and went to reply but Maggie interrupted, "If you do this, if you hand out these guns our dad will make you leave tonight."

"We have to stay Shane." Carl boldly told the man, I then heard loud footsteps from the porch walking out of the house, I looked up to see Lori watching the scene unfold, obviously confused.

"What is this?" She asked, no one was able to reply as Shane was loudly yelling.

"Now look, Hershel, he's just gonna understand. Okay? He's just gonna have to." No one said a word as Shane babbled on, everyone staring at his frantic demeanor. My jaw was clenched so tight I thought my teeth were going to shatter, my fingernails digging into the palms of my hands as I fought the urge to punch him in the face.

"Now we need to find Sophia, am I right?" Shane spoke out, he was slowly walking towards Carl who was standing right beside me, Shane was removing his handgun from the band of his pants. I shook my head and stood in front of Carl, Shane stopped as we were face to face for what felt like the hundredth time today.

"Ain't you the one who thought that Sophia was dead? Don't act all sweet, we all know you're a raging prick." I lowly growled in Shane's face, his nostrils flared in anger as he breathed out deeply. Shane used his arm to push me away, crouching in front of a brave Carl, he pushed the small gun in front of the young boy's face.

"I want you to take this, you take this Carl, and you keep your mother safe. You know how. Take the gun and do it." Shane ordered Carl gently, Lori ran down the stairs and pushed her son behind her.

Carl breathed heavily, his hand finding mine in comfort, I looked down to see him shocked by Shane's actions. I gripped Carl's hand tighter, making sure to not let him go.

"Rick said no guns. This is not your call. This is not your decision to make" Lori seethed out in rage, her face close to Shane's.

Everyone watched and waited to see what would happen, but before Shane or Lori could get another word in, T-Dog loudly cussed, "Oh, Shit." catching everyone's attention.

We all look out into the field to see Jimmy, Hershel, and Rick leading out walkers, holding them on what looked like a leash almost. I gasped aloud at the sight, my shocked expression moved on to Maggie, who just looked embarrassed. I walked past everyone, Carl's hand still in mine as I tried to get a better look.

"What is that?" Shane muttered to himself as he ran past me, me and Carl looked at each other and nodded, letting go of each other's hands as we ran closely behind Shane, towards the oh-so-familiar barn.

My foot and side screamed in pain as I sprinted after Shane to make sure he didn't do stupid shit — and because I was slightly nosy and wanted to see what was happening.

As we all got closer we noticed Rick, he was trying his best to avoid eye contact with us as he tried to lead a walker. I was staring at the man shocked, having no idea how to truly feel.

Shane roughly pushed the gate door open, leading the rest of the group towards the walker barn and towards Rick, Hershel, and Jimmy who seemed to be putting the walkers in the barn.

"What the hell are you doing?" Shane screamed at his best friend, Rick no longer able to avoid him his voice growling in anger.

"Shane, just back off!"

"Why do your people have guns?" Hershel asked Rick, the growling and snarling of the walkers overpowering their voices.

Carl and I stood together and watched in shock, Carl's hand found mine once more and I squeezed it reassuringly.

"Are you kidding me? You see? You see what they're holding onto?" Shane yelled out, Hershel's blue eyes on Shane's brown ones, both equally fuming with rage.

"I see who I'm holding onto!" Hershel declared, Shane shook his head, continuing to pace around in a circle around Rick and Hershel who held the walkers, trying their hardest to control them. "No man, You don't," Shane muttered with a sarcastic laugh.

"Shane, just let us do this and then we can talk." Rick tried to plead with his best friend, Shane stopped pacing around them but instead let them walk towards the barn, the rest of the group followed them. "What you wanna talk about, Rick?" He asked, not waiting for Rick to respond before continuing his long-awaited rant.

"These things ain't sick, They're not people. They're dead. Ain't gonna feel nothing for them cause all they do, they kill!" Shane screamed out, we had all made it to the barn and everyone was paused in their steps, I was staring at the back of Rick's head as he tried his best to control the walker he was holding, Shane was pacing around his friend.

"These things right here, they're the things that killed Amy. They killed Otis, they're gonna kill all of us!"

As I watched Shane scream I felt a hand on my shoulder, I turned to see Lori and her head pointing down towards my stomach, I looked down to see little spots of blood stained on my grey shirt.

I pull my shirt up slightly to see that I must've pulled a stitch, I curse out and sigh as I pull away from Carl. "Nola—" Carl whispered, grabbing my wrist and trying to pull me back, I only shook my head and offered him Lori's hand instead which he gladly took. I place my hand on Carl's head and pat it affectionately, I look up at Lori and mouth 'thank you' to her.

"Shane, shut up!" Rick yelled out almost pleading with him, I slowly limp closer to the front of the group I moved my hand to my back, feeling for my gun and I relaxed once I felt it.

As I continue limping towards the front of the group, towards Rick, I freeze in my step as I watch Shane pull his gun out, "Hey, Hershel, man, let me ask you something, could a living breathing person, they walk away from this?"

Before I could even think Shane points his gun at the walker in Hershel's hold, shooting it three times in the chest. Everyone screamed and flinched back, me being included as the gunshots rung in my ears, but I composed myself and grabbed the gun from the back of my pants, holding it up towards Shane and then the walkers, I switched between the two, unsure on which to pick.

"That's three rounds in the chest! Could someone who's alive, could they just take that?" My gun shook in my hand, I looked up at Hershel to finally see the look I had been waiting to see, I just didn't want it to take this long for him to realize it. As Hershel looked at the gunshots through the walker he was staring at it in shock, yet also awareness.

"Why is it still coming?" Shane's gun spewed out two more shots on the same walker. "That's its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming?" Shane wasted more bullets on the walker, Hershel's face only deepened with the shock. Rick was begging for Shane to stop, everyone else was either pointing their own guns at the walkers or they were watching in fear.

"Shane, enough!" Rick's voice broke as he begged Shane to stop, and that's when uneasy silence filled the air, Shane stared at Rick with a crazed look, and he nodded his head.

"Yeah, you're right, man." He replied quietly and coldly, stalking up towards Hershel's walker, "That is enough." As he passed the walker, he held his gun up to its head, a final gunshot ringing through the air, it was like slow motion when the bullet went through the walker's head, its body falling limp to the ground.

"Enough risking our lives for a little girl who's gone!" Shane yelled out, I looked over at Carl to see a hurt look on his face, my fists clenched.

My eyes also looked over at Carol who was close to tears, gasping as she stared at Shane. "Enough living next to a barn full of things that are trying to kill us! Enough!" Shane spoke out loudly.

My eyes glanced over everybody else to see Hershel kneeling to the ground, Maggie crouched next to him. I looked to my left at Rick who was struggling to hold the walker through the leash, his face was drenched in sweat, his facial expression showing he was pissed off.

"Rick, it ain't like it was before! Now if y'all wanna live, if you want to survive, you gotta fight for it! I'm talking fighting for it, right here, right now!" Shane screamed his last words towards us quickly before turning around and speeding towards the barn doors, my eyes widening and a gulp forcing itself down my throat.

I turned my head to see Rick begging Hershel to take the pole from him but Hershel was still kneeling in shock. Rick continued to scream and beg at the man, his voice breaking as it seemed he was close to falling into tears, I shook my head and turned back towards Shane to see him using a pickax to try and break the metal.

"No, Shane! Do not do this, brother. Please!" Rick begged him frustratedly, I could see the tears of frustration falling down his cheeks, and that's when I broke.

My body automatically turned back towards Shane to see him still struggling with the lock, I ignored the pain in my abdomen and my foot as I sprinted towards the crazed Shane.

"Shane, back off!" I hissed out towards him loudly, he ignored me and continued to grunt as he tried to force the door open.

"Get the fuck back!" I screamed at him, I grabbed him by the arm and used my full strength to try and pull him away but I felt him roughly push me back causing me to fall on my side, I could feel my stitches tearing even more causing me to scream out in pain, blood slowly beginning to gush from my reopened wound.

"Don't touch me again, bitch." Shane yelled at me bitterly, his brown eyes stone-cold, he was no longer himself.

As Shane stared at my injured body on the ground he turned back around to focus on the task, he ignored me once more and finally pried open the locks, he then grabbed the wood covering the door and threw it off.

He banged on the door a couple of times and let it slowly open, not bothering to help me up as he backed away. I could hear the loud growling and snarling of the walkers, I looked down at my opened wound to see my grey shirt slowly staining with blood.

"Nola! Get up!" I hear someone scream, I look to my side to see the gun that fell from my hand I quickly grab it and point it towards the door, the face of the first decaying walker coming out.

"Lia, come on, get up!" Rick hysterically screamed out, I don't bother turning around. My one free hand helped me crawl back towards the ground and away from the barn, I was in too much pain to stand and I didn't want to open my wound any bigger and risk the chance of bleeding out.

I look back towards the barn doors, the first walker comes stumbling out. The walker's eyes landed on me, it quickly limbed toward me and growled, but before it took another step I aimed my gun at its head, pulling the trigger and killing it instantly.

Deep down inside me, I felt guilty, I felt as if I was betraying Maggie and Hershel for using my gun and killing a walker, but I couldn't help but feel pretty damn good about myself as well.

As the walker I shot fell limp to the ground I quickly decided to stand to my feet instead, I didn't want to risk the chance of getting eaten while lying on the ground. More walkers emerged from the barn, and every part of Rick's group was shooting them quickly and efficiently.

I turned towards Rick to see him still holding the snare pole, I pointed my gun at the walker's head and watched as Rick shook his head, pleading but I frowned and shook my head in guilt, "I'm sorry." I whispered out an apology to Rick.

Without another thought I shoot the walker in the forehead making it fall limp from Rick's hands, he only sighed and stared down at the dead walker dropping the snare pole on the ground. I then looked over at Maggie to see her sobbing while hugging Hershel, I gulped, pushing down any guilt I felt.

I turned back towards the barn and shot a few more walkers in the head, all of the shooters were stood in a line. Rick let out more screams pleading us to stop but we all knew the damage was done.

Daryl was the last to shoot, his gunshot ringing through the air as silence was the next thing to fill it. Everyone lowered their weapons as they were sure that all of the walkers were out of the barn.

I let out a sigh, my hand with my gun falling to my side, I turned my head to Hershel to see him on his knees and staring at the dead walkers in pure shock, Maggie holding his shoulders with tears streaming down her cheeks.

I then looked at Carl and Lori, the both of them on the ground hugging each other, then I lastly took a long look at Rick who was standing alone and frozen, his mouth open in shock, his face was now relaxed, filled with anguish.

As I stared at Rick I turned back towards the barn when I heard a noise, a growling. My gun was now aimed back towards the barn, I slowly walked towards it. Everyone else had their guns up as they heard the noise as well.

My hold on my gun only tightened as the growling and snarling got louder, I could see the shadow of the walker coming. I could feel my heart pumping against my chest, feeling like it was about to explode as I waited for the final walker to reveal itself.

But as I saw the walker come out my arm dropped to my side slowly, a gasp leaving my lips as well as the others around me.

What came out of the barn was a younger girl, she wore a dirty blue shirt with a rainbow on it, her hair was messy, her eyes grey, and what was once a girl was now a walker. As I stared at the girl I could hear Carol crying out, "Sophia! Sophia!"

My bottom lip wobbled as I looked at the young girl, Carl's best friend was a walker, and Carl's best friend was dead. Tears invaded my vision, and my hands shaking at my sides, I backed away as Sophia began to get closer to me, I slowly lifted my arm up and aimed my gun at her. Tears poured from my eyes as I aimed my gun at the child walker, I bit my bottom lip in order to keep it from wobbling.

I heard footsteps crunch beside me, a hand slowly lowering my gun to point towards the ground causing me to close my eyes tightly and let any more tears loose, I shook my head.

A hand softly landed on my shoulder, I opened my eyes as I breathed out a cry, Rick's blue tear-filled eyes on mine. "I'll do it." He mumbled softly. I nodded my head, he took a few seconds as he stared at Sophia, only being able to hear Carl and Carol both loudly crying.

My head shook as Rick looked back at me, I let out a soft cry and looked up at him defeated, "I'm sorry I broke my promise." I whispered, Rick's face slowly fell at my words. I looked away from Rick and back towards Sophia, Rick's gun slowly aimed towards Sophia. I tightly closed my eyes, a few silent seconds going by before the loud final gunshot filled the air.

I'm sorry I broke my promise, Sophia.

—

WORD COUNT: 9100+

tbh i've been waiting for this chapter, it spent a day writing...

i'm really trying to figure this out, so hopefully it isn't bad and it's easy to understand

lately i've been having trouble on 'said' words for dialogue, lately my brain hasn't been working so i'm sorry if the writing is bad

anyway hoped you enjoyed this chapter, pls comment and vote, positive criticism allowed only (i'm sensitive)

—