Chapter 2

I miss the forest and my house. The tree roots covered by moss and the dark leaves filled with all forms of birds. I miss the kitchen and the scent of spices wafting out of it. The dried roots and herbs and the potions and perfumes Alcina would make. I miss waking up and finding my father trying his best at breakfast. I miss seeing my family. Alive and Happy.

Hollowness dwelled in my heart as I looked down at the city bursting with colours. It was solstice and the entire place was bursting with activity. Even the people inside the house were busy.

I had just seen Feyre and Cassian drunk in the living room. Then The Shadowsinger came in and I picked up my plate of food and came back to my room. Of course, I was never alone in the house, someone was always here to keep an eye on me even after I had told them I was too drained to even stand up for too long. Sometimes I could feel the shadows spying on me.

After our little chat and finding out that they didn’t know anything about Lucifer, I passed out again and woke up in this room. They considered sending me somewhere else but then decided that it was better to keep a close eye on me.

So here I was, in this room, while the sounds of celebrations were starting downstairs. I decided it was time I carried out our traditions for solstice too.

I slowly pushed the door open and peeked outside. Seeing nobody, I reached the stairs and spotted everyone gathered downstairs.

A seer is amongst them.

I descended the stairs and tapped Morrigan, who was standing the closest, on the shoulder.

She raised her eyebrows, “ Yes?”

“I was wondering if I could find a little bit of yarrow and bones of an animal.” I shifted from one foot to another.

“Bones of an animal?” Cassian rested his gaze on me. “What are you going to do? Put a curse on all of us?”

I grinned. “Does that scare you, warrior-heart?”

He returned a crooked smile. “Perhaps if you-”

“Alright, that’s enough.” Morrigan interrupted. “Why do you need yarrow and bones?” She questioned.

“It’s a tradition. For solstice and for the troubled souls on my parents.” I sincerely answered.

“We do have yarrow.” The seer provided. She wasn’t here before. Who is she?

“I will take you to the kitchen. I can’t say you will find bones here.” Morrigan pointed towards a door.

I nodded and followed her. “How does this tradition work?” She pushed the kitchen door open.

“I will have to arrange the bones in a specific pattern and yarrow will help in the “bringing peace to the souls part."” I explained. I had nothing to hide. “There are spells, of course. I don’t think you would be interested in them.”

She leaned against a counter while I looked through the cabinets. “So, you are part shadow witch and part blood witch? “

“Yes.”

“Hmm. What about your sister? What is her name?”

“Alcina.”

“What kind of witch is she?” She tapped her fingers against the marble.

“ She is a green witch.” I crouched down. “That means she can manipulate trees and green things. She is also exceptionally good at perfumes.” I smiled at the memory of her working in our kitchen on some new scent she came up with.

“Oh.” Was the only reply I got.

“I found it.” I held up a small purple pouch. Why did they have yarrow in the kitchen? I ignored the question. Maybe it was used in cooking something. I wasn’t familiar with the eating habits of Faeries.

“For the bones....” Morrigan bit her lower lip.

“I’ll take her to the mountains.” Azriel stood near the door. “There must be some dead animals there.”

“I can do that too.” Morrigan offered. She was worried and rightfully so, if I was in her place I would be scared too.

“We will be back soon. You can join the others.” Azriel reassured her. I could see her debating with herself for a while before she reluctantly nodded and walked out of the door.

The spymaster made his way over to me and held out his hand. “We will have to fly.”

I tucked the purple bag in a pocket and followed him to the balcony. Cold wind prickled at my skin and I shivered. How am I going to survive flying?

"Can you carry me?" I blabbered. Azriel raised his eyebrows in amusement and I internally kicked myself.

"I find that slightly insulting." He stepped closer to me, large wings now outstretched. I decided to look anywhere but at him as I wrapped my arms around his neck.

He lifted me up in one smooth motion and soon enough, we were flying high above the city. When I looked down the houses looked like they were made for little dolls. The streets were filled with civilians. Kids ran around playing while their parents shopped or worked at their own shops. I realised with a start how big and bright this place was and how little I knew about the world despite having lived in it for 500 years.

My eyes starting stinging and my face grew colder as we flew and I gripped harder at Azriel's shoulders, clinging on to whatever warmth I could find. I could see the mountains looming in front of us as the flapping of his wings grew slower. By the time we reached the mountains and I let go of his shoulders, I was sure I had left bruises on them.

“Maybe I can just spirit the next time.” I pulled my hood up. Azriel remained silent.

The moon was our only source of light and snow started settling on my eyelashes. I scanned the ground for any trace of a dead animal. Azriel moved a bit of snow to look for any bones that were buried in the snow as I wandered farther.

“Careful.” He said over the wind. “There are a lot of dangerous animals here. Stay where I can see you.”

I smiled. “A wise witch knows not to be afraid of anything in a forest because she is the most dangerous thing out there.” He didn’t reply so I looked under a tree and between the tangled roots.

“Tell me more about this Lucifer you were talking about.” He spoke.

“The forgotten gods, or should I say “God”, because there is only one, is where the story begins.” I rubbed my hands together and blew into them.

“There is only one God?” The shadowsinger raised his eyebrows.

“Yes. They created angels. Souls that were pure and balanced and made heaven. One of the angels, their favourite one, grew proud of the fact that they were the best. Pride is a sin so God banished them from heaven and they created hell. The place where our worst nightmares reside and take form.” I explained.

“And this banished angel is called Lucifer?”

“They have a lot of names.”

“They?”

“God, angels, demons, the devil- Lucifer, are neither male nor females. They are both. Somedays they are neither. That’s why we call them they.” I almost tripped over a black shape that was hidden in the shadows.

“What was that?” He asked.

“I think....it’s a dead animal.” I poked it and my hand was stained red when I Drew it back. “Yes. It is dead.”

Azriel walked over to where I was standing. He kneeled down next to the carcass and pulled it out of the ground. “It’s a fox.” He examined it.

“I can take the bones out.” I offered. “I’ve been doing it for 5oo years.”

He shuffled backwards as I touched the animal and it’s body twisted and the bones crackled.

“What are you doing?” He looked at the fox and then at me.

“Blood magic. There is still blood inside the body.” I gritted my teeth when I felt my energy drain. Crossing the barriers of the city had exhausted me.

He observed quietly and the blood collected under the skin of the fox and pushed a bone out with immense pressure. The flesh separated and a blood drenched bone poked out. The snow turned red around it and I winced one last time before the body split open.

I placed a hand on my chest and sucked in large gulps of air. When I finally looked up, Azriel had wiped the bones with a piece of cloth.

“Thank you.” I whispered. He didn’t say anything but handed them to me.

I stood up and dusted off snow from my cloak.

“Will you need anything else?” He asked as I stepped over the torn apart flesh.

“No. This will be enough.” I shook my head. “Let’s go back or Cassian will think I murdered you.”

“He knows it won’t be that easy.”

“It will be.” I smiled faintly. The shadows halted for a moment before Azriel offered me his hand once again and the dark engulfed us.

Once again I was reminded of how bright the streets of velaris were when we winnowed right outside of the house. It would take me a lot of time to adjust to lights and crowds after living in a forest for 500 years.

Azriel pushed the door and I rushed in to protect myself from the cold. Inside everyone was sitting on the sofas. Feyre narrowed her eyes at me but I excused myself before anyone could ask me any questions.

Shutting the door behind myself, I pulled out the bones and yarrow and put them in the middle of the floor. The thick blood coating the bones stained the carpet. I washed my hands and face before placing candles and some of the crystals I had managed to take from home on the floor.

I think it took me a little over an hour to finish everything because of my drained magic but when I was done I could feel calmer. I could almost feel my mother caressing me as her face flashed before me.

A tear slipped past. Then another. And another.

I curled up on the floor and clamped a hand on my mouth to stop myself from sobbing. My entire body was shaking with each sob and breath. I would never see my mother in the garden again. I would never see my father crushing herbs and chopping wood again.

Alcina.

She would never see her favourite perfumes again. She would never have to sneak in through the window because she had gone to see Cassandra and was late. She would never see Cassandra again.

With my throat and head hurting I fell asleep on the floor and, once again, was welcomed by the cold, hard whispers.

“Welcome, my dearest Lillith.”