XXIII: Painful Memories

Before the Calamity

Link's POV:

I let Zelda sleep in that morning.

I knew she had a rough couple of days. I slowly stopped talking to her, which granted, I felt awful about, but it happened nevertheless. Nearly everything we were doing was against my protocol—I left her alone several times, let her run away from me, and I don't even want to know how much trouble I could get in for kissing her...

But it wasn't only those things. She nearly got killed by the Yiga Clan, bokoblins, and she tried relentlessly to unlock her sacred power. I truly felt horrible for it—she blamed herself. Yet none of it was her fault... she did everything she could. I knew getting an extra hour of sleep wouldn't fix everything, but maybe it would at least help.

My emotions towards Zelda grew as I saw her step up to the plate to protect her kingdom. All of her determination did not go unnoticed. It was a quality I found very... alluring. Determination was something that, as a knight, I strived for. Seeing the girl that I spent so much time with have the same objectives as me? Well...

I grabbed my sword and started to practice before she woke up. Every time I drew my sword, I imagined what I was fighting for. Somebody I loved, perhaps. That's what drew my divine courage out of me. Maybe... maybe Zelda needed something like that. Her kingdom was indeed important to her, but her father constantly forcing her to conform to this ideal made unlocking her power more of a necessity rather than a natural occurrence. Maybe she needed motivation other than her father...

As I was swinging my sword, I caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye- she was awake. 

"Good morning," I said to her as I turned around and smiled. Her hair was a mess and she had dark circles under her eyes. "Good morning," she replied groggily. 

I returned to the cave and reached in my saddlebag, pulling out another bag full of ingredients. We didn't have a cooking pot so I couldn't make her anything, but I gave her some fruit I collected on the way.

"Thank you," Zelda said as she bit into a hearty radish. I winced, wondering how she could eat those putrid things raw. I could barely do it, and I could eat anything... I sat down next to her and looked at the ashy wood that had produced a fire last night. 

I wanted to talk to her but I just didn't know what to say. I figured maybe she would come up with something at one point... she was the talker of us two, after all.

I saddled Epona who was angsty from being away from home for so long. She was a sassy horse, no doubt. When I would come near her, she would throw her head the other way and huff. Only until I fed her a treat would she look at me. Storm was easy—he was a gentle boy. Saddling him was the simplest of the two.

Zelda and I packed up our stuff and began riding back to the castle. There was something about traveling, about... just being out in the wilderness of Hyrule. Sometimes it felt like I wasn't destined to save the world out there. I felt just like a normal 17-year-old. I'm sure it was the same for Zelda, although she had not yet turned 17.

"I've gathered much from my research on this trip," Zelda said with a smile on her face. "It is quite fascinating to me. I can't wait to tell my father what I have learned!" The awe was prominent on Zelda's face. Her smile graced across her cheeks and her light ignited something within me. She truly loved being a scholar.

"Daruk is actually far more intelligent than I expected, though that made sound rude," she giggled as she raised a hand to her face. "He pilots his beast quite well. Oh—and Urbosa, well, she has surpassed all expectations. She is quite a mighty woman. I miss her much."

I liked listening to her. I enjoyed the fact that she was much more than just a princess. She was extremely smart and had a wandering eye for adventure. I had a secret admiration for how authentic she was... There was nobody I had ever known like her.

"Link," Zelda began, slightly unsure of herself. "I remember as a child, when mother was still alive, that I saw you a few times in castle town. You were with a girl. Might I ask," Zelda stuttered, "Who was she?"

I knew exactly who she was talking about. Ilia. 

I missed her a lot. It had been 4 years. 

"Oh," I said with a fond smile. "My friend, Ilia." I didn't know what to say exactly.

Zelda seemed unsatisfied with my answer. "Well, who-" She pondered her response for a moment. "Were you two close?"

"Yes," I responded plainly. "She was my best friend for all of my childhood. I miss her a lot. We did everything together... all up until I began training for the royal guard... and, well-"

"Well, then," Zelda said happily, but seemingly harboring a bit of sadness, "I'm sure you would love to see her when we get back. I will insist father will let you off of duty while I am home!"

I appreciated it. Really. But I couldn't.

"Zelda, she-" I sighed and looked down. "Ilia was in a bad accident four years ago. She..."

Zelda immediately knew. "Oh, Link... I'm so sorry, I-I'm sorry I asked," she said to me. I looked up at her, my demeanor shifting. I hadn't thought about Ilia in a while. Her death was not something I wanted to remember.

"Would it be-" Zelda fiddled with the reigns while deciding if she should ask me or not. "Would it be too much to ask what happened?"

I looked back down. Maybe it would be good to talk about it.

"She was traveling in a wagon with her family. My father warned her parents about going at night—they were headed to Hateno village. I don't know what happened but I do know that their wagon was burned. It seemed to be shot at too because the cover's remains had small piercings throughout the burn spots. None of them-" I choked slightly, but recovered and continued. "None of them survived. Somebody was out killing innocent people."

Zelda looked frightened—I could see hints of terror and sadness in her expression. 

"I have assumed it was Yiga ever since. I hate them." The anger boiled in my blood from merely my mention of their name. "They also...  they-" I couldn't bring myself to finish. My voice was quiet and my hands were trembling.

"You don't have to say it if you don't want to, Link," Zelda said calmly. Something told me she kind of already knew. "But if you do, I will listen."

I clenched the reigns and closed my eyes as I flashed back. I hadn't thought about it for years. I hated thinking about it. However, talking about Ilia opened up something inside of me that wanted to let everything out at once.

"My father, too. He was sent out on an expedition ordered by your father. After a good amount of time, the Guard realized my father's troops had never come back. After much searching, they found all of their bodies... dead—my father with arrows in his back. The only people I knew with that much precision, not to mention cowardly backstabbers, were the Yiga."

The memory was so painful that I shoved it down deep inside of me. Only then had it ever come out—only when she was listening. Losing my father was... excruciating. The only person I had left was my mother who, even then, I knew didn't have much time. 

"He was barely able to watch me train to be a knight. I just started training for the royal guard when he-" I choked and shook my head. "And as if that wasn't enough," I said, my voice low, "my mother as well." I felt my sadness gradually morph into anger.

Something inside of me was dying to set the painful memories free. I had never expressed my emotions like that. I shut my eyes tightly, trying to hold back tears as one slipped through my eyelid. I tried to restrain my feeling but I couldn't—I had bottled them up for far too long. I clenched my fists tightly and hitched my voice in my throat.

"She got sick. I was 14 when she passed. My father used to always tell me-" My voice cracked as I remembered his words. "He told me that if something ever happened to him, that he was counting on me to take care of her. Countless days I spent, looking for anything that could cure her. An old fortune-teller told me Moldga guts could cure her illness, but I never found them. I couldn't even save my own mother. I failed her and my father."

I threw my hands down and frightened Epona. I looked away from Zelda and shut my eyes tightly with tears still escaping through. Not a word passed her lips.

"All of this... Everything I loved. This world took every person that I loved from me, and here I am being told that I am its only hope. That I must save this cruel place."