XVI: Not Without Failures

Before the Calamity

Zelda's POV:

I wasn't mad. I tried really hard not to be, at least.

There were some things about Link that I didn't understand but I hadn't brought myself around to asking about him yet. Maybe he just needed time... We were moving pretty fast.

We needed to make way to Gerudo Town. I needed to speak with Urbosa and try to harness my magic. That same morning we saddled our horses and began riding to the dry wasteland- Gerudo desert.

As we rode away from the Rito province, I thought a lot about our relationship.

"Im terrified of losing you, Zelda!"

It played in my mind like a broken tape recorder. It was all I had wanted to hear for a long time. Back at the castle, I had few relationships. My father was strict... I knew he loved me and wanted what was best, but he nearly forced me to grow up at a young age. "You have a kingdom to protect," he would tell me. I had very few friends- I wasn't allowed in Castle Town much. I didn't really talk to anyone at all back home. Link was the first friend I had had in a while.

It was a new feeling for me- someone wanting me. I wondered why after barely speaking to me for so long how he could feel so strongly about letting me go. I never thought Link and I would work it out. I guess I was just so jealous of his triumphs that I looked passed all of the things I like about him now... It was so hard to believe that the world as we knew it could come crashing down when I was with Link. He made all of worries disappear.

That's why I knew I needed to give him time. I cared about him so much... I would do anything for him. I wanted to be there for him in the only way I knew how which was to just... let him be silent, I guess. Link would always listen to me, even if he didn't answer. Maybe it was time that I listened to his silence to understand.

"Link," I said, not expecting a response or even wanting one really. I thought maybe telling him about things that I struggled with would make him feel closer to me. I looked down and sighed, nervously toying with my hands. "I'm having trouble with my magic."

I looked to my left where he was riding and caught his gaze. He was looking, listening. 

"I've been praying and training ever since my mother died. This sealing power I'm foretold to have," I sighed as I looked down at my right hand. "Everyone has always told me 'It will come naturally! You are a daughter of the royal family!' But it never has. Countless days that I have dedicated to nothing but praying... wasted. I can't help but think maybe something is wrong with me..."

Link bowed his head in understanding. I wanted to believe that maybe he felt the same way about... something, I don't know. Maybe we had more in common than I thought.

"It's just not fair. I've put nearly my whole life into this!" I tried not to cry as I continued. "This whole kingdom... It will come to ruin if I fail. If I can't seal Calamity Ganon away-" I paused. My spirit dropped as I quietly said, "There's no telling how many lives will be lost."

I dropped my head in defeat. I never really spoke about that. At the castle, if I failed, my father's response would be to just keep trying. It felt good to tell Link... It felt good for someone to listen.

"Well," I began, "the reason I'm telling you all of this anyway-" I paused and thought for a moment. "Well first of all, because you're my friend. I don't know who else I would really want to know. But mainly because I wanted to apologize."

Link cocked his head to the side in interest. His hands shuffled along the reins in anticipation for what I was about to say.

"I know this is no excuse, but I was so rude when we first came in contact because I was frustrated with my magic. I saw how successful you were with that sword on your back..." I looked back slightly to see the Master Sword and let out a deep sigh. "It made me feel like a failure."

My words sank into the air, weighing me down. I hadn't said it out loud before... it just made it seem more true. We rode in silence for a good while- I expected that.

"Zelda," Link said, speaking to my surprise after a long while. It seemed like he let out hours of pent-up stress in one word. "You are no failure."

The words were simple but they... they meant something to me. It was something I needed to hear.

Link sighed and reached down at the base of his shirt. He slowly lifted his blue tunic revealing a massive scar along the right side of his torso. My heart sank when I saw it.

"One time when I was younger," Link said, unsure of himself, "I got in a fight. A bad one. I wasn't really one to talk about my triumphs, but word got around and an older- meaner, knight challenged me. I didn't want to fight him but he threatened my mother, making fun of her sickness and... just saying awful things about her. I drew my sword and held him for a while but I was not skilled enough to beat him. The strike down my side wasn't even necessary for him to win, but he purposefully left me with this scar."

I felt sick. The amount of sadness from merely seeing Link with something that caused him pain tormented my heart. I reached out my gloved hand and placed it over his.

"I am not without failures," he sighed. "This scar is a great reminder of that. I was knocked down more times than I can remember," he said. "It was then that I realized that I couldn't rely on just talent anymore... not when the people I loved were at stake." He looked down and then up at me as if to say something deeper. "That's how I became what I am now. I trained harder-" he paused. "And grew more silent..."

All that time, thinking Link was just some privileged narcissist... but really, it was me. I refused to acknowledge his skill that he had trained for, time and time again. I could not accept that Link had harnessed his courage when I could not grasp my wisdom. And for that, I brought him down.  The person I refused to accept for so long was the only person who would truly accept me.

I gripped his hand a little harder. I didn't know what to say so I thought I could just hold him and maybe he would know. 

Our bodies rocked in sync with the horses as we rode through the day. So much was said in so little time... I thought about what Link said and processed for a while.

"Does it help?" I asked sheepishly.

Link looked at me, confused.

"You know... being silent."

Link thought for a little while staring blankly in front of us.

"It made me more focused, I guess. People expect so much from me... I don't want to appear arrogant but I also don't want appear so weak that people lose hope in me. I guess I don't talk because I fight things better alone... There is so much at stake. I just find it easier to bear these burdens silently. I guess I just... stopped expressing my feelings because of it."

Every bit of confusion and anger evaporated from my head. It felt like I understood him completely.