; nine

TIME SKIP

you sat in class, you couldn't be bothered by anything, except for whatever dae won said this morning.

"you can use me as a rebound."

that broke your heart honestly.

but that also made you realise how much stronger he actually was.

whatever he said was also right, which was what made you keep thinking about it.

should you really confess? especially when he JUST started his long awaited relationship with chae eun?

everytime you think about it the scene of him kissing her on the cheek comes up.

maybe you should confess, sometimes it's not evil to do something for yourself. you had to get it out.

question is, how?

"you're early."

you heard a voice coming from the door which snapped you out of your thoughts.

"oh yea, i woke up pretty early today." you answered.

jungkook walked towards you and sat beside you.

you could feel the awkward atmosphere, the both of you didn't really know what to say to each other.

"you feeling better?" he asked.

"yea, much better." you replied smiling.

"that's good." you heard him mutter under his breath.

not knowing what to say, you decided to ask him about chae eun, even though you knew it woukd hurt you.

"how's you and chae eun?" you started.

you could tell his face lit up a little when you mentioned chae eun.

"we're doing good, i think? i mean, we haven't done much together, it's kinda just the same as before honestly." he responded.

you nodded upon his answer, "well, that's great, i hope the both of you last long."

hope the both of you break up asap....

"i hope so too. but you know, sometimes i feel like i'm not good enough for her? sometimes i feel like she deserves someone like ji won, someone who's smarter, and just generally more 'dominant' in a sense, compared to me. you know, sometimes i feel like a pussy compared to him." he spoke, which shocked you.

you never really knew that was the way he felt, well, that's exactly the way you felt towards him honestly.

"well, i think the both of you suit each other, and she can get ji won anytime, it's not like she's far below his level or anything, so i guess if she chose to be with you it just shows she has feelings for you. don't be too worried kook." you reassured.

"mmm, i hope so t-"

"please, everyone back to your seats!"

the both of you shot your head to face the front of the class,

god damn it.

your teachers here.

"let's go for break together." he whispered to you before walking away to his seat.

TIME SKIP

you hurriedly stuffed all your books and stationery into your bag,

"let's goooo y/n." you heard jungkook.

the both of headed off towards the canteen.

like the usual, he would have his other friends around as well.

it's been pretty long since all of you sat down and talked, since usually you'd excuse yourself because you really couldn't take listening to them giving jungkook tips on how to get chae eun.

but now that he finally got her, everything's back to normal.

or so you thought.

"kookie!!" you heard from the back.

kookie?

you shot your head backwards, to find the one and only, chae eun, walking towards all of you.

"oh chae eun! come come sit with us!" jimin spoke.

sit with us? seriously?

you could see her face light up. and of course she'd ditch her friends to come sit with jungkook.

since each side could only fit four people, maximum, there was surely no soace for her to squeeze in.

jungkook and jimin were seated in the middle, you on the side beside jungkook.

chae eun coukd clearly tell there was no space for her, but did she care? no. and will jungkook try to make space for her? obviously.

"uhm, y/n, could you move a little, so chae eun can sit beside me."

SERIOUSLY. you thought.

and the fact that chae eun chose to sit in between you and jungkook.

"y-yea, sure."

you tried to move but there really was no space left,

"y/n put your legs out." chae eun spoke.

you looked at her, pretty shocked she really just spoke to you like that.

noticing you weren't moving, chae eun gave you the 'move it' look, which snapped you back into your senses.

"o-oh yeah okay."

so you stuck both your legs out to the side. the only thing you could out on the table was your right elbow, and your butt barely sitting on the bench.

what. a. bitch?!

you really thought today would be better huh.

wrong.

so you sat there awkwardly, listening to chae eun and jungkook talking about themselves.

a few minutes passed and you decided, enough is enough.

so you just stood up and left, without saying anything.

sitting opposite you, jin, had been eyeing how uncomfortable you felt. so when you stood uo and left, he obviously noticed.

"where's y/n going?" he asked the group.

"hm? let me go get her." jungkook replied standing up.

this was CLEARLY not the first time something like that has happened. you ALWAYS get ignored.

"y/n!"

you turned around to find jungkook walking towards you.

"why'd you walk away? what's the matter with you."

you could see he was a little annoyed

"why do you always seem so upset and awkward when chae eun's there?" he asked.

that was it. those words made you go off.

"what's the matter with me? really? everytime she's there it's like i'm invisible. no one gives a crap, especially you! the both of you are always just talking about each other, i'm non existent. you don't even try to include me, what's the point of me being there?" you retorted.

"okay..? i see where you're coming from, but you don't have to make it seem like you don't like her. it's like you're so unwelcoming of her, it makes her feel upset and awkward." he retaliated.

"do you hear youself? her, awkward? well i don't think she has to worry about since you put ALL your attention on her anyways. and i make it seem like i don't like her because i don't. you got your answer, happy now?" you fired back.

regretting almost immediately because you realised you'd have to explain why you don't like chae eun. which also means, confessing.

it was silent for awhile, until jungkook decided to ask,

"why do you not like her then?"

you froze the minute you heard 'why'.

"i-i just don't." you hesitantly replied, while avoiding eye contact.

seeing how you behave, jungkook grabbed both of your shoulders gently to try and get you to look at him.

"no, there must be a reason, it's not you. tell me so we can fix this."

at this point, you were having mixed feelings. you knew he wasn't doing it for you, you knew he was doing it for chae eun.

"why not? i just don't, deal with it." you said irritated, pushing both his hands away.

"well now you're just being mean. she never didn't do anything and you just somehow dislike her. why can't the both of you just get along. why can't you get along with her. it's not easy being the middle person y/n, have you ever considered my feelings?"

his feelings?

he's probably never thought of yours for goodness sake.

"then have you considered mine?" you retorted. hoping he'd shut up and realise.

"how am i supposed to when you don't even tell me how you feel? are you happy, are you upset? i don't even know anymore. you tell me you're happy for me but y-"

"because i like you! i, like you so much, and it really hurts me when i have to face the both of you together, especially knowing how much you like her, and how i can never compare to that.

i'm tired, so tired of being your second choice. the one you'll only come running to when you have problems or need comforting.

and i don't dare to say it because i know you are waaaay out of my league, it's embarrassing enough to have people see you hang out with me. i feel terrible and miserable because of this sometimes but i know telling you wouldn't change anything because everything is just me overthinking. i try so hard to just push aside my feelings and be happy for you but i just, can't."

you finally let it all out.