Chapter 5

"Freak."

"It's your fault he's dead."

"He's probably better off dead. "

You huffed, leaning on the concrete building of the alleyway.

You were a coward, even with what you were capable of, you weren't even able to stand up for yourself. This, all of it really was your fault. If you'd stopped that guy that day, Uncle Ben would still be alive. You spun around, punching the wall, the brick crumbling under your hands. With a yell, you gave another punch. You were sure how many hits you'd delivered, or how long you'd been doing it. You stopped when you started to feel the numbness in your now bloodied knuckles.

You whimpered, sliding down the wall defeatedly as you cried. Hugging your knees, you stayed there. The build of all your hate, anger, pain, you just let it out. The entire time you were trying, fighting to ignore the problem instead of dealing with it.

"Tell me what to do, please...just tell me..."

"We're all trying to do our best, kid." your eyes lifted at the voice. The apartment above you had a window, and the older man leaning out there was looking down at you. He tipped his shades at you.

"How..how long have you been there." He smiled at you.

"A while. "

He saw all of that. Great. He probably thought you were some kind of psycho.

"You lost someone."

 You just lower your head. Keeping it in is what has got you in the mess that you were in, so maybe it was time to talk about it. You unfolded your arms, dropping your legs flat on the floor.

"I-I lost my uncle. He was shot." you spoke softly.

"Lost my wife two years ago." despite the information he'd just given you, he was still wearing the brightest smile. "She was the love of my life, always said we'd leave together." his finger ran over the golden ban thoughtfully. 

"I miss her everyday. "

"Does it...ever become easier?" He'd been dealing with his loss for two years, and he still managed to smile. It had been a little over two months, and you were barely keeping it together.

"I can't promise you that you'll ever stop feeling it, that little hole in your chest like something's missing. What I can say is trying to deal with it alone, it just makes that hole a hell of a lot bigger. 

You're still young kid, when you get to my age you realize that you're gonna gain amazing people in this life, and you'll lose a few of them. Doesn't mean you stop loving. You push forward, because that's what they would want. "

With a soft sigh, you lean your head on the concrete.

"You think they're watching us right now?" you mutter.

"Absolutely. My Chloe would probably be badgering me to take my meds right about now. " You chuckle. "You should get to it then." you encourage with a smile. He nods with a huff of laughter.

"Don't go getting cocky, I'm still your elder kid." raising your head, you stood slowly from your spot. Now at full height, you offered an appreciative smile. "Thank you, really. " He just waves it off. "Come on, don't mention it, anytime. Next time though you should put on some gloves. You're Aunt is gonna freak out when she sees that.

He wasn't wrong.

"I think I can make up a believable story." you shrug. The male above lets out another laugh.

"Good luck with that kid." He's heading back inside now, and you're not sure how to express your current feeling. Your body feels weightless and it has nothing to do with the recent discovery of your powers. No, it's more like the emotional strain you've been carrying around has somewhat dissipated.

Your new journey is clear. An apology is in order, starting with Aunt May.

~~~~~~

The sound of hurried footsteps is the first thing that catches you ears the moment you close the front door.

"(Y/N)!" Her body all but crashes into you, and you welcome it, sinking into the embrace.

"When the principal called about the incident I was so worried. Why didn't you tell me that terrible girl was bullying you. With what happened at that editor's office and now this. I was so scared that you'd run off and...and.." you have an idea of where her thoughts went, and it's completely your fault for making her feel like you couldn't share your pain with her. "I'm sorry." you speak. It's muffled into her clothing, but you know she hears you. 

"I'm..so sorry a-about everything.." you convey.

"Honey..." 

You finally allow yourself to break down in front of her, knees buckling. She slides to the floor in surprise, and when she pulls back, she can clearly see the tears rushing down your cheeks. 

"I miss him so much." you sob. You can see the way her eyes well up, and she pulls you back in. "There's nothing wrong with admitting that you're in pain. I miss him too, every single day." May has been suffering just as much as you, probably more. All you can do is hold on, and cry. You were so consumed in your own self loathing, that you ignored that you weren't the only one in pain.

"It's okay, we're both going to be okay (Y/N)." 

For the first time in weeks, you believed those words.