Chapter 7: Balance

When I woke up that day, the first thing I heard was soft music. Another Coldplay song: In My Place. Coldplay was my favorite band, so it made me smile and start off with a good mood.

I had felt someone lightly stirring under me and the memories of the day before came back to me even if they seemed far away and unreal.

One thing was for sure, I wouldn't bottle up my emotions like that ever again. I was lucky enough that Newt was there for me when I finally snapped.

And I would definitely never neglect Chuckie ever again. Ever. I promised myself that.

Still, I had the feeling like everything would be okay from then on. Thanks to him.

I just laid my head back on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I didn't want to wake Newt, and I also wanted to go back to sleep since it felt so perfect there.

*

One week later, it felt like everything had slowly gotten back in place.

Newt had suggested that I should talk to 'Tommy' about all that was going on my head because he was my best friend after all. And he was completely right, so I did. Thomas was really understanding and supporting, even if he was a little mad that I hadn't told him before.

And even if those days after my breakdown were hard and I took a few days off class –Sonya promised Newt that she would give me all her notes. And her friend Harriet, who was in most of my remaining classes, did too- but it was so much easier with the help of my friends. Chuck, Newt and Thomas especially helped.

Minho didn't exactly know what was going on with me –neither did the rest of the gang- but he knew I was a little sad lately and behaved extra goofy around me to make me laugh.

I felt really lucky to have such good friends, people who genuinely cared about me.

*

I woke up earlier than usual so I could calmly have breakfast with Chuck to catch up.

We were sitting in the kitchen table, calmly eating our cereal as he told me about some things that happened to him at school.

"And the shank kept throwing me paper balls" Chuckie was telling me about Stan, one of his classmates whom he got along really well. He had to stop to laugh because the story apparently was so funny. "So I told him 'slim it, shank' because he was starting to annoy me"

I smiled as Chuck kept laughing at his own story.

"And?" I said, shoving a spoonful of cereal and milk in my mouth.

"And" Chuck paused for a second again, giggling. "He kept at it and I angrily told him 'cut it out, you klunk!' and he laughed so loud that the teacher threw him out!"

I laughed with Chuck as he was cracking up, and then finished my breakfast.

While he finished his bowl of cereal, I stayed with him as I tried not to think about class.

Just thinking about facing the exams and the many piles of notes I had to study made me panic a little.

Someone knocked on the door, so I stood up and headed to the hall. Ruffling Chuck's hair to make him pout in my way, of course.

When I opened the door, I found Minho coolly leaning on the door frame with one arm, his other arm hanging loosely at his side. And that lopsided grin was on his mouth as usual.

"My lady, your carriage awaits you" Minho charmingly said, making me laugh.

I had told them I would appreciate if they could take me to class because being alone in the bus made me a little anxious. Minho offered to drive me, and so there he was.

"Chuck, I'm leaving!" I said, smiling at Minho and picking up my bag to throw it over my back.

"Okay! My brother replied from the kitchen.

"Bye, little brother!"

"Bye, Y/N!"

I followed Minho to his car parked outside my house as I prepared myself for the intense ride and the scary morning ahead.

*

Since we arrived early, we hung out around my pavilion until my first class began.

Minho was really sweet, as he didn't leave my side because he knew how nervous I was to get back to class again.

"Thanks, Minho" I lowly told him when the conversation had died down a little and we were quiet.

Surprised, he stared at me. He grinned and placed an arm over my shoulders, pulling me towards him to pinch my cheeks obnoxiously.

"You're adorable, princess" I grimaced as he kept pinching my cheeks and pushed him away.

"Stop! And don't call me princess!"

"What are you gonna do about it, princess?" He challenged me, trying to catch me again as I walked away from him.

"Minho!" I complained, laughing at the stupid crazy face he was making.

As I walked backwards, I bumped into someone.

"Sorry" I mumbled, turning around to see them, surprised to find a familiar face. "It's you, Alby!"

He slightly smiled at me in response. He always smiled at me, he must have liked me, I guess.

"How are you, Y/N?" He showed genuine interest, and I figured Newt probably mentioned that I was a bit down lately.

"Fine, thanks" I smiled at him softly.

I only realized two more people were with him when Gally waved at me. I didn't know the other boy.

"Gally!" I smiled at him and gave him a quick hug.

"Oh, Y/N, this is Ben" Gally introduced me to the other boy.

He was tall, blond and seemed like a really nice person.

"Hi" We shook hands as he smiled back at me. That kind smile made me like him.

"I'm Minho" My friend said behind me, offering his hand for him to shake as well.

"Ben" The boy repeated.

"Nice to meet you, dude" Minho replied.

I opened my mouth to ask Ben something. Where did he know Alby and Gally from? Did he study in my pavilion –since I had seen thousands of people every day walking around there every day and wouldn't remember seeing him –or what did he study.

But I closed my mouth again when a voice caught my attention.

"There she is!" Newt's voice came from the other end of the corridor, so I turned to find his blond hair bouncing in the air as he ran –surprisingly fast- towards me.

"Hi, Ne-" Before I could even greet him, he slightly came to a halt as he reached me, just enough to wrap his arms around me and sweep me up in a hug.

"Newt!" Thomas told him off, coming after him, and the British rolled his eyes and slowly put me back on the floor.

"Hello, Newtie" Alby mockingly said, and I internally cringed as I remembered the night of the party.

Newt stopped what he was doing –which was unwrapping his arms off me – and glared at him. If glares could kill...

But Alby just smirked.

"I think we should all forget what happened that day" I pleaded, making Newt smile again.

I looked at Minho and Thomas, trying to avoid Alby's glare.

That slinthead -one of my favorite words from Chuck- Minho had tattled everything to Thomas. So my friend knew what happened that day, and even if he got a little mad, he forgave me when I told him everything about how I was feeling. Thankfully.

Thomas was quickly introduced to Gally and Ben as they all said goodbye, hurrying to class. Minho's attention was directed towards my friend as he teased him saying that he could smile at people every once in a while.

So Newt's attention was in me, and mine on him.

"I have to go to class" I complained with the heaviest sigh.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Newt asked me, completely serious.

It took me by surprise as I didn't expect him to say that.

"Goodbye, Y/N!" The other two waved goodbye at me. "We'll look for you later"

"Bye, guys" I absently waved back at them.

"So?" Newt insisted once he nodded at them himself.

"You want to take the class with me?" I laughed, not believing it. "Newt, you have your own classes"

Newt shrugged casually and widely smiled at me.

"Well, no, it's not necessary" I said even if I wanted nothing more than to have Newt beside me during one of those boring and anguishing classes.

But it was so sweet of him to ask me that, I knew he would have been there for me if I had allowed him.

"See you later then, love" He shoved his hands on his pockets and casually gave me a kiss on the cheek before he walked away.

I sighed as I observed him taking one step at a time.

That boy would be the end of me.

*

Well, the classes were really boring as usual. But at least I didn't freak out because they kept mentioning the exams.

But Sonya and Harriet gave me her notes and told me everything I needed to know. Important stuff that was likely to be asked in the exams, finals dates and a few essays we had to do as well.

Still, I felt really relieved when the last class of the first part of the morning ended. I could have a while to myself to relax.

I was calmly sitting in my reading corner, in my pavilion, waiting for my free hour to pass, when someone covered my eyes.

Just as I was blinded, someone snatched the book from my hands.

"Hey! Slim it, Minho!" I knew Minho had something to do with it for sure.

"How did she know it was me?!" His voice exclaimed in front of me, going high-pitched.

It caused a few familiar laughter. Who was behind me covering my eyes?

I pushed their hands down and at that very moment someone poked his head upside down in front of mine, our noses touching.

He slightly distanced himself from me.

I would recognize those brown eyes anywhere, but I knew it was Newt even before he gave me the chance to see his whole face.

"Hi" I smiled at him, forgetting for a second that Minho was still there.

"Hi there" He replied back, with that lovely smile of his.

I leaned in closer to him and softly kissed his nose, the both of us giggling.

"That's enough" Thomas' voice interrupted us, pushing Newt away from me. "Personal space"

I laughed as I stood up, remembering that I had to recover my book.

"Okay, give it back"

"You're forgetting the magic words" Minho sang, swinging the book in front of my face to taunt me.

"Please, Minho" I tiredly said, holding my hand up impatiently.

"Fine" Minho complied, giving me my book back.

I nodded and looked at Newt and Thomas triumphantly.

"I'll take you instead" Minho laughed, throwing me over his shoulder carelessly while I yelped in surprise.

"My book!" I complained, since it had fallen to the ground.

How I could, I held onto Minho as I was almost hanging upside down from his back, him holding me by my knees. I just wrapped my arms around his torso for dear life.

"Put her down!" Newt told him, bending down to pick up my book. "Come on, mate"

"Yeah!" I agreed, still laughing. "Put me down!"

"What did you say, Y/N?" Minho's voice showed me that he was up to no good. "'Spin me around'?"

"No!" I screamt, closing my eyes tight, knowing what was coming, as he began to do so.

I immediately stopped laughing. Don't take me wrong, it was kind of fun.

But Minho didn't just spin me around. He wildly and quickly spun me around.

The only good thing about that was that he'd get just as dizzy.

"Stop!" I pleaded, guessing that the whole pavilion was staring at us. Minho always loved creating a scene.

"Minho!" The two of them exclaimed at the same time.

"Put her down, you shank!" Thomas insisted.

"You're no fun" Minho whined, and I could picture him rolling his eyes at them even if I couldn't see him.

Finally, he put me to the ground. At least, he was kind enough to hold me by my waist because there was no way I could maintain balance.

"You klunk" I told Minho, quoting my little brother.

"You see what you do?" Thomas scolded him as he watched me wobble.

I just closed my eyes tight, seeing as everything was spinning around me wildly.

I didn't really get what happened next, but suddenly I was thrown into someone that wrapped their arms around me. I rested my forehead against their shoulder as I patiently waited to recover.

I was sure it was Newt. By his particular scent and the tender and kind touch of his hands on my lower back, it had to be him.

I heard Minho and Thomas teasing each other and suddenly they began to run away, loudly stomping their feet on the ground as they dashed to the other side of the first floor.

"You're not fast enough, you shank!" Minho's voice echoed through the pavilion and I laughed in spite of myself.

"They're like children" I mumbled on Newt's leather jacket. "Chuck is more mature than the two of them"

Newt just chuckled in agreement.

"You still dizzy?"

When I looked up to him, he was smirking. I would have pulled away from him and pushed him if I didn't need his support as Minho had spun me around so enthusiastically.

So I just pouted, making him chuckle again.

"Take that as a yes"

In that moment, Thomas and Minho came running by, panting and sweating.

"I'm faster" Minho proclaimed proudly, even if he was out of breath.

Noticing I was more stable, Newt softly pushed me away and gave me my book back.

"You're not, you tripped me up!" Thomas argued with Minho.

"Alright..." Newt tried to put some order, but that only managed to get him into the 'argument'.

In that moment, watching my three favorite boys playfully shoving and teasing each other, I felt lucky.

They had been so thoughtful with me, making sure I was okay.

I smiled to myself, keeping back the huge urge to engulf each one of them in the biggest bear hug.

"Tommy, can I please take Y/N for a walk?" Newt asked him half mockingly as he combed his hair with his fingers. Minho had messed it up and ran away.

Thomas sent him an unfriendly glare and rolled his eyes.

"But bring her back in time for her classes"

"Yes, sir"

*

I've always thought that there's always those precious moments in which everything is so perfect that they remain in your memory.

Well, being there with Newt in the Glade was included in those perfect moments.

The soft warmth of the sun falling over us as we lied in the fresh green grass, surrounded by beautiful colorful flowers and the nice smell of mint that filled the air and came from the trees nearby. It was a flawless moment.

I briefly turned my head to the side to look at him as he lied next to me.

A tiny content smile was plastered on his lips. He rested the back of his head over his hands as he had lifted his arms up above him.

Newt was staring at the clouds, and I smiled to myself when I observed him.

"What are you thinking, Newt?" I asked him, wondering what was going through his head at that very moment.

"Nothing" Newt replied, not taking his eyes off the sky. "Just enjoying the moment, really"

His voice cracked, and I remember how it did too when he lied to Thomas that one time. He was lying to me.

"So you're cozy in here?" I insisted, sitting up and staring at him.

Finally, he looked at me while making a face.

"Actually no" He finally said, sternly. "Something's missing"

He slightly sat up and wrapped his arms around me, pushing me to his side so my upper body rested over his as he laughed and I yelped.

I was literally lying down over him.

"There, that's better" He concluded, still laughing. "Now it's bloody perfect"

I leaned my chin on his chest to look up at him. He was looking down at me with that smile on his face.

I smiled like a fool and hid my face on his chest.

That shuck smile made my heart flutter. I just could not with that smile.

Newt chuckled as he rubbed my back.

From that moment, we simply embraced the peacefulness of the moment in silence.

I wondered if he wanted to take me to the Glade that day to get my mind off things.

Whatever the case, I truly enjoyed that hour. As usual, Newt managed to make me feel like everything was perfectly okay.

Make me never want to move from his side.

*

After that, I went back to class and went to have a bite to the cafeteria. And since I knew it had to be done, I spent a few hours in the library doing some studying.

When I arrived home, I felt like it had been a good day. I was happy knowing that all my friends cared so much about me. It made me feel incredibly silly thinking all those negative things just a few days ago.

I chatted with Chuck for a while and then went to my room to do some more studying, which was truly needed. I still had to go through Harriet and Sonya's notes.

I put my headphones on, with some Coldplay to make the studying easier, and got on with it.

First I decided to read Harriet and Sonya's notes, which I found very important. And then I tried to put it all together to get the main idea of each subject and each lesson.

The one good thing about my degree was that I was truly passionate about it. Even if it could get tiring and I could feel swamped with essays, exams and the so many authors and novels I had to study, I adored it.

I spent hours pushing myself to study, though, because it was so mentally tiring memorizing so much stuff.

I just wished I could do something entertaining instead. Like doing some complicated figures with origami or doing my famous leather bracelets or whatever other thing that I enjoyed.

But I was determined to pass those shuck finals, and I'm really pig headed when I want.

*

I decided I had done enough studying for the day, so I went back downstairs to be with Chuck.

Our parents had called many times during their time away to check on us, and that same day they called saying they'd be back in just a few days.

I didn't tell them about my breakdown. I didn't want them to worry, not now that I was feeling better.

Until they arrived, I would just take care of Chuck. It had stopped being so overwhelming once I found the balance between classes and family.

We were sitting in the couch as usual, hanging out and chatting while watching TV and having some burgers I made for dinner, even if it was still a bit early.

"Are you in love?" Chuck suddenly asked me.

For a few second, I found myself blankly staring at the TV and being unable to answer.

"Slim it" I finally said to him, making a face while I kept eating my burger like if it was nobody's business.

"You didn't answer" He observed, so I threw him a glare. He laughed when he looked at me, which made me think that I blushed at the question.

I could tell that, even if he was curious about it and was starting to like Newt, he was reluctant about me dating him. But it was to be expected that it bothered him a little.

"I don't know, kid" I shrugged, and it was the truth. "I really don't know"

Did I feel something for Newt? Yes. What, though?

Love is a big word, and even if our relationship had become stronger ever since he helped me when I was so depressed the other day I didn't know my own feelings.

It really felt like if he had fixed me in a way, however, because if he hadn't been there I wouldn't have managed to open myself and let the rest of my friends help me as well.

I saw Newt with new eyes. I realized how caring he actually was, unlike someone else. All Newt said to me... those kind words moved me.

And those times I had spent with him. In the campus, in the Glade, in his place, in the party... I could only look back at them fondly.

But even if it wasn't as important as it used to be, that tiny voice at the back of my head warned me to be careful still.

I absently put the last bite of my burger in my mouth and thought about it.

How can I know if I'm actually in love? Love actually is really hard to explain, isn't it?

Then someone knocked on the door and also rang the bell afterwards. That brought me back to reality. I did my best to focus on reality rather than my thoughts.

Since I had finished my burger, I stood up and opened the door.

"Hi, Stephen" I widely smiled at him, enjoying his annoyed face.

"Shorty" He greeted me, ruffling my hair.

Thomas earned an annoyed grunt from me.

It had been a really long time since he called me shorty. It was true that I was a little short, but maybe it was that everyone was so shuck tall!

"I brought someone, I hope you don't mind" Thomas pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

At first I thought it was Teresa, but when I looked behind him I knew it wasn't.

All I could see was someone holding a plushy so big that covered their face and their torso.

"You brought a giant teddy bear?" I laughed, and someone finally poked their head over it.

I cracked a smile when I saw it was, of course, Newt.

"Happy unbirthday" Chuck laughed from the couch. I looked over to him and saw that he was curiously peeking to see us.

"Come in, guys" I invited them, taking the teddy bear and making myself aside so they would enter the house.

"Newt told me he wanted to give that to you ever since he saw the rock Minho gave you" Thomas discreetly told me in a whisper.

It had surprised me a lot that Newt gave me that, even if it was cute and kind of sweet. I didn't really picture him as someone who would randomly give me stuff like that.

"Be right back, I'll take Kuma upstairs" I told them as they already went for the sofa.

"Kuma?" Thomas wondered, but I knew Chuck would explain, so I didn't even bother to do so myself.

"It's bear in Japanese" Chuck proudly said, he was the one who liked watching anime. "Y/N heard it one time we were watching subtitled anime"

Once I reached my room, I put Kuma in my bed and smiled.

Then, still smiling, I happily went down the stairs to join the boys.

*

We ended up eating bags of chips and other stuff that Thomas had brought and watching some show that was on TV about werewolves and other supernatural creatures. But it was really cool, I liked it.

The three boys seemed to be getting along incredibly well. Chuck and Thomas liked Newt and lively chatted with one another.

To be honest, who wouldn't like Newt?

But overall, every time that one kid appeared on the screen, we all cracked up. Well, all of us except for Thomas.

"You're like twins!"

"No"

"Tommy, you're identical!" Newt insisted since Thomas denied it.

"Teresa always says that too. She says that's me if I was more nervous and fidgety and combed my hair up" Thomas grumpily mumbled.

That comment only made us laugh more.

Newt then gently shoved my leg with his, so I looked at him. He was staring at the TV, but I noticed he was silently waving his hand towards me.

Amused, I carefully looked at Thomas. From left to right, we were sitting first Thomas then Chuck and then Newt and me. So Thomas wouldn't see us.

I smiled and put my palm against his discreetly, leaning my fingers over his even if mine were shorter. I briefly noticed Newt smirking as he intertwined his fingers with mine.

I then noticed how Thomas stood up and began picking up the remains of the bags and the plates Chuck and I used for the burgers, which I had forgotten about.

Thomas always wanted to help me clean up whenever he came to hang out, and I would never let him. He was the guest!

"Sit your butt down, T" I said as I stood up and began picking them up myself.

That shank.

"I'll help you" Newt offered, standing up and picking the stuff that I couldn't carry with my arms already full.

"No, Newt, you're a guest, I-"

"I insist"

"But-"

"I bloody insist"

I just shrugged and let him help and follow me into the kitchen.

"I'm watching you" Thomas said, not taking his eyes from the TV where his other self was.

"I know Tommy, slim it" Newt sassily replied as he walked behind me.

Newt put the empty bags of chips in the counter and I put the two dirty dishes in the sink along with the rest of them from the day. The cereal bowls from breakfast included.

"I'll get the glasses" He mumbled as he walked away.

At that moment I was in such a good mood that I began humming. Coldplay, of course.

I threw the empty bags away and began washing the dishes.

"Still lying underneath the stormy skies. She said oh-oh-oh-oh-oh... I know the sun's set to rise. This could be para-para-paradise" I happily sang as I quickly finished washing a few of them and put them to dry.

I was about to keep singing when someone poked my side, making me jump slightly.

It was Newt. Him and his smirk.

He helped me clean the remaining of the dishes and throw away the rest of the stuff even if it wasn't much work for me to do.

Still, being with Newt and seeing him smile happily as he told me he loved how I sang, I didn't complain.

*

Before they left, Newt left a sneaky kiss on my lips while Thomas couldn't see him.

"Bye, love" Newt whispered,

"Hey!" He still noticed, because Newt let out a mischievous little giggle and winked at me before running away.

I felt myself unable to erase that smile off my face as I closed the door and walked up the stairs to my room, saying goodnight to Chuck.

I lied down on my bed still smiling, also feeling cozy being wrapped by the warmth and familiarity of my bed.

Definitely, it had been a good day. I had overcome my fear to go back to class and those shanks had made me laugh and smile a lot. And I had spent a relaxing time alone with Newt in the Glade that renovated all my energies.

When you find your strength, it's easier to achieve a balance and regain control over your life. And I had found my strength.