Chapter 44

Leila POV

I sat at the table typing away on my laptop, when I feel a presence behind me.

"Cant you at least announce yourself instead of skulking about in the shadows?" I sigh, not even moving.

"Being shady is what I do best" He chuckled from behind me.

I turned to face him, he was grinning from ear to ear like a Cheshire cat, standing tall with his hands casually in his pockets.

"Alec what do you want?, I have work to do"

"No," He said, stepping beside me "We have some catching up to do so it seems"

I squint at him and then roll my eyes when I realised he wasn't going to let up, standing from the table and closing my laptop, then following him as he sauntered into the living room.

"Okay what" I said, sitting on the chase of the couch, fixing the oversized hoody, so that sat over me comfortably.

"No no no" He said as he slouched back on the other side of the couch, and wagged his finger at me "You ain't gonna pop off with that attitude with me Lala, I ain't your rapper boy toy, I ain't having that shit"

"We have made amens of sorts" I snort "Fine, so Marshall and I have met before, as you've figure from your little, eves dropping adventure"

"It was Mon, anyway... I always had a feeling you both had crossed paths, considering the fact you use to worship him, and then you abruptly stopped, what he do?"

I thought to myself for a moment.

Was it worth mentioning to Alec the whole story?

What would his reaction be like?

I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not..but at the same time I knew I had to be honest because I would never forgive Alec if he had lied to me.

"Remember my twenty-first birthday? Well I met him that night and we kinda spent the week together"

He frowned at me in surprise "I knew something was suss, you saying you were going away on some girls trip with Laura, what a fuckin' sneak... Did Laura know?"

I should my head "No, because the way it ended, I was humiliated"

The smile disappears from his face "The way it ended? Why were you humiliated? What he do to you, Lala?"

Suddenly regretting my choice of words, panic rose in my chest as the image of Alec waiting to pistol-whip Marshall as he stepped off the plane filled my head.

"Don't get angry, I'm a big girl"

"I'm not angry" He said, voice borderline monotone "Tell me"

"After spending the week whispering sweet nothings to me and making me feel special, the last afternoon we were together he kinda said some really hurtful things, insinuating that I was nothing but an easy lay and that..."

"Finish it, Lala"

"That Tommy was lucky to be dead because I was clingy"

Alec's face twisted in anger, like he had swallowed poison "What the fuck, why didn't you tell me?" He stood "I'm gonna make his stupid ass sorry-"

"What's the point now Alec? He was fucked up on drugs? It's was thirteen years ago, the fact is he's sorry about it now, and he doesn't even remember, and we're working on it"

Alec kissed his teeth "Who the fuck does he think he was calling you easy"

"Drugs make people say dumb shit"

"Drugs aren't a good enough excuse for me Lala, he still knew exactly what he was saying and doing, you know this and you're sticking up for him? After he treated you like leftovers, at fuckin' twenty-one? He was a grown-ass man that knew better, high or fuckin' not"

"What would you know about him the-"

"Because I fuckin' knew him!" Alec boomed "Tommy was the one that sold him drugs, he knew exactly what he was doing, sure he was fucked up, but that mother fucker was a high functioning drug addict!"

My heart sunk.

Tommy and Alec both knew Marshall?

"You've been lying to me this whole time?"

I watched as the realisation of his outburst spread across his face.

"Lala no I-"

"You both have lied to me, you and Christian"

"We didn't tell you because we didn't want you to get implicated if anything went down, we didn't want you to ever have to testify against your family" He said "It was for your protection, Tommy also didn't want you to think of your idol in that light, he knew you would be heartbroken"

I snort.

Isn't that fucking irony for you.

"I spent time with him the start of December 2007 Alec, 3 weeks after we spent a week together Marshall overdosed, safe to say I found out how fucked up he was on my own anyway," I said, my voice getting horse from holding back the tears "You all don't get to decide what keeps me from being heartbroken, you all pretended not to know him, what the fuck"

"Lala I'm sorry, we thought we were doing the right thing"

"Does he know?"

Alec nods slowly "But only because he was confused about the picture he has of Tommy and him, I swear he doesn't remember"

"You all lied to my face for YEARS" I yelled, standing up, my blood rushing to my head, I could feel my heart throbbing in my head "I think you should leave"

"Lala no, please don't be like that, I swear everything we did was to protect you"

I stood there staring at him until his shoulders slumped and he left.

I felt sick and betrayed.

I sat down on the couch,

The pain on my chest grew more intense at the thought of my brother, Alec and Christian had been keeping a secret and lying to me.

Tommy had never kept anything from me, that was the most painful part about it.

------

Marshall POV

I watched as she stood crying in front of me.

The tears dropping in large droplets off her eyelashes.

I felt sick for breaking her heart like that, but I needed her gone, safe, somewhere I knew I could never destroy her.

Unfortunately, the only way I knew how to do this was with malice.

"Why are you being like this? After everything you've told me, how you said I was spec-"

"Oh, you thought I actually meant it when I said you were special?" I snort "I say that to every woman I meet, I needed to you to be willing to stay, the fact you were in that bar was just a matter of right time, right place, you were an easy target, it was convenient, I mean shit, if not you, it would have probably been another easy fan"

The tears continued to roll out of her dark brown eyes.

I had to fight myself, with each lie I had said it felt like I was swallowing a hot knife.

It wasn't right.

"Was it something I did? I just don't understand how you can just change your mind like that"

No baby girl it wasn't, you're the most beautiful, kind, intelligent women I've ever met, I'm a disgusting excuse of a man, I'm sorry for what I'm about to do, I know you'll never forgive me but at least I saved you the trouble of havin' me up on that pedestal that I know I don't fucking deserve.

"Damn you clingy bitch! You said your brother looked after you?" I sneered, looking her in her eyes, getting lost in them, the pain I saw staring back at me was yanking at my heart "No wonder your brother died, it's the only way he could get away from you, he probably begged them to shoot him"

Her face twisted in the most painful way as she slapped me so hard you could hear it echo through my house.

"Fuck you, I hope you choke to death on your pills you piece of fucking shit" She screamed, grabbing her bag and leaving me standing in the kitchen, the front door then slamming so hard, it rattled the entrance.

I shot up in bed, hearing my phone alarm ringing on the bedside.

What the fuck.

Reaching over and turning the alarm off I sit on the side of the bed rubbing my face.

The feeling of fresh guilt now sitting in my stomach made me feel queazy.

The image of a younger Leila burnt into my mind, crying.