Chapter 17

Leila POV

She sat there staring at me expectantly.

She hadn't said anything but I know her mind was ticking over after what she saw.

I also knew she was too polite to ask.

I don't even know what happened, to be honest, I kinda just, reacted in the moment.

He caught me off guard and I don't know how.

How does he know about Tommy? Did I even ask him how he knew?

I can't remember what Marshall said to me.

I was too shell shocked.

Did he remember what we talked about that night after all?

And If he remembered that then why doesn't he remember who I was?

So many questions ran through my mind as he came closer to me and I mentally collected the fragments of my mind back up from the sheer shock of him uttering those words about my brother and regained myself.

His sudden change-up of confidence made me nervous, he somehow held a secret that I didn't know about and it's levelled the playing field.

A man like him was difficult to play with once they got enough confidence back, once they felt that control again.

That wasn't going to happen.

He wasn't going to destroy me again.

"Leila?"

I snapped my eyes to look back up at Monica, I had been on a daze since we had left the studio.

That smirk was burned into my mind.

I shook my head.

"Yeah, so sorry Mon, my minds elsewhere"

"I understand, the anniversary of any loved ones death isn't easy, don't sweat it" She said with a kind smile "I'm just glad you called me to catch up"

"Yeah, I feel like that if I was sitting at home Tommy would haunt me for being a downer"

"Were you close?"

"He was my everything, we grew up in a bad home with alcoholic parents, he was my protector, he raised me when my parents failed to, despite the 6 year age gap" I replied stirring my drink "I couldn't function properly for a year after his death"

"It must be awful to lose someone with that strong of a bond"

"It was, my poor cousin Alec, who moved in with me after, since I was now alone because Tommy and I lived together, he was also dealing with the grief, but he tried his best to force me to function" I said shaking my head of the dark memories "By my 21st birthday, I was back to my old self, and things started looking up, but then... Well, let's just say events took place that made sure I wouldn't be treated like a fool by anyone ever again"

"Your cousin seems like a good man"

"Alec is, under that tough exterior he's a sweetheart" I said with a smile "He's pretty much the only real family left I can count on"

"Well you can now count on me" Monica said with a kind smile "Let's celebrate your brother's life"

I nodded, holding my glass up and clinked hers.

Trying to push aside the thoughts of the day and focus on the good memories of Tommy.

———

Marshall POV

I stood at the familiar door, now unsure if my coming was a good idea.

I wasn't a complete monster, even though my track record most always proves me wrong.

But Leila's change of behaviour today was eating at me.

I wouldn't normally be bothered by things like this with people that piss me off, but the fact that she wasn't her usual arrogant self, and wasn't fighting back kicked my obsessive personality into overdrive.

After all I've lost many loved ones myself, and know the anniversaries are difficult to deal with.

And now it was all I could think about.

I cursed my addictive personality as I raise my hand to knock on the door that was only closed in my face a few weeks prior.

Moments later it opened, Leila coming into view, dressed in nothing but an oversized hoodie.

My eyes landing on her face, clear and make up free, with red eyes, as she wiped underneath with her right hand.

"Marshall, what are you doing here?" She asked with a confused expression.

I stood for a moment regretting my decision and my sudden overwhelming sense of compassion.

"I came to check on you" I said and I held up the box of pizza.

She stared at me for what felt like forever before stepping aside and allowing me to walk into the hallway.

One that had that all to the familiar smell of vanilla and jasmine that now resonated in my mind as her signature scent.

Following her into the lounge room, I fought hard to fight off the visions of the night that I was on my knees in front of her as they threatened to push into the front of my memory, seemingly just to torture me for my sudden sense of humanity.

She took a seat in front of her glass of wine and took a drink watching me as I placed the pizza down.

"Look Leila, I know we're not on the best terms, and anniversaries are painful, so I'm calling a truce for now" I said as I opened the box "Hate me all you want tomorrow"

"Fine" She said as he leaned forward taking a slice of pizza, as she leans back, the jumper rides up and gives me a peek of the tattoo again.

"How about we eat and you tell me more about Tommy and the moments you shared at my concerts, let's talk about good memories"

"He was a huge fan of yours" She said as she ate her pizza "We have been to every concert since 1999"

"Really?"

She nodded, hand landing on her thigh and started to absentmindedly trace over her Infinite tattoo "He use to go to the hip hop shop with Alec, one day he picked me up from school and wouldn't stop raving about this album the whole walk back home, I remember it like it was yesterday, he was so excited, when we got home, my dad was already laying into my mom, they had been put drinking and partying all night and had come home at some point during the day, high and still drunk, my brother shoved me straight on his room and put the album he was raving about on"

I nodded, forcing myself not to react with pity, her story was all too familiar to me.

"The album was Infinite, we listen to it repeat, for weeks" She stood, walking over to her sound system and opening a door, reaching in.

Bending over a little too much, the hoodie riding up and showing me lace.

She turned back around with a CD in her hand, walking back over to me, handing it to me.

I think as shocked because I hadn't seen an original copy for years.

But there it was, in immaculate condition, one of the original Infinite CD.

Most people would have sold this cd the first chance they got, I had seen they were worth a couple of hundred now.

"My brother always said this is the album that should have made you huge from the beginning, he worshipped you, not in a weird way but you know, he wanted to be like you, he loved rap and the music, just like you" She said as I handed the CD back to her "The Infinite tattoo is because it reminds me of that time, sitting in that bedroom, listening to that album and closing off the rest of the hell we lived in"

"He seems like a cool person, a bit like me and Nathan, you basically become the protector and parent, stepping up and shit"

"Funny that you say that" She chuckled "Tommy would always say I was the Nathan Kane to his Marshall Mathers"

Her last sentence tugging at my heart, the very thought that this could have been Nathan had I not survived my overdose.

"Thanks for coming over" She said "I was actually having a bad day"

"I figured, I have them too, especially on Proofs, so don't worry"

She nodded, once again getting up and reaching into a different cupboard and pulling out a box, digging through it and returning with a picture and handing it to me.

It was a picture of her younger self, proof, Alec and who I was Assuming to be Tommy, at the hip-hop shop.

"So you all really were day one huh?" I smirked, looking up at her, handing it back as she rolled her eyes playfully, lip twitching at the corner as I went to stand but was stopped.

She suddenly leaned into me, reaching to pick something off my shoulder.

"You have glitter on you" She said, with a playful small smile, then leaning in and surprising me by kissing me on the cheek.

"Thank you, really"

"No problem" I nodded as I stood and chuckled "Thanks for not seducing be this time"

She laughed for what I think may have been the first time I've seen and heard it as she walked me back to her front door, after saying goodbye and closing it behind me.

Leaving me alone to walk to my car, my head still spinning.