Day 71 (Part 2) Lost and Found

My mind had turned blank, my body had become numb and all I wanted to do was cry my way out of here because I wasn't sure if Jellal's words were just a joke or plain serious.

He was staring at me expressionless. Waiting for my answer or at least just waiting for some reaction. Everyone was silent. Even the cold air that was breezing and wheezing with strong wind had stopped completely; just like my heart.

"I—" I got up from the circle, towering over the rest of them and excused myself to go and place my plate in the sink. My words had been cut off on the tip of my tongue and my nose turned runny, making me sniff as I marched my way to the kitchen. I did hear Zeref trying to call me back and yelling that we would stop this game at once but my legs wouldn't stop. They kept moving until I had forcefully stopped myself near the basin, my knees straining to keep themselves from falling to the cold floor.

I breathed heavily. I could have said something, anything. I could have said 'okay,' or, 'yes,' or nodded but, why couldn't I? This was the moment I had been waiting for but why couldn't I answer him? DAMN IT! I'm afraid I've ruined everything...This was the perfect chance to accept his proposal...

I wanted more air. The air around me wasn't enough to fill my empty lungs. I wiped my nose with my sleeve, unaware of the faint tears cornering around my eyes and headed out the door before anyone could try and stop me. I didn't bother to change my clothes; the pajamas were comfortable as they were and began walking directionless as I tried to compose my own pandemonium mind.

My heart thumped in my ribcage as if it wanted to set itself free. The cold air slapped my face in all the directions and I had been quite away from home when I realized that I had forgotten to bring my coat with me. Wrapping my arms around my chest to keep myself warm (which wasn't helpful because the wind had been growing strong) I kept walking through the empty streets until I halted at a vending machine that was well-lit under the bright, orange street light. I looked around and realized that I had come to a place I was oblivious of. The tiny shops that were lined in a neat row on either side of the street appeared dark and abandoned. There were some lights that were flickering near some shops but I decided to overlook them and make an effort to get back to the house.

But I couldn't move. I didn't want to go home yet because Jellal would be there and what if I would have to give him an answer? What do I say to him then? I sat at the oblong bench that was near a vending machine and buried my head between my knees.

Love. Love is such a funny and annoying thing.

I want to marry Jellal, there's no doubt in that. But, something's stopping me and I can't figure out what that is. Possibly, it might be that he suddenly said something so shocking that it has punctured a part of my brain or maybe I'm angry at him for asking me to marry him without confessing how he feels first because any girl would be dubious if a guy asked a girl to marry her in a game of Truth and Dare.

It was just a dare and feasibly, Jellal must have only been joking with me...just to see my expression...

I didn't know something like this would make me cry. It's the thoughts and the emotions that are not connecting well with each other.

Shit...I didn't even bring my phone and I don't even have some change to use for a payphone. How will I get back and how will the others know where I am? I should've paid more attention to where I was walking...

I knew I would only be wasting my time by sitting here so, I began walking in the direction from where I thought I had come from. It was strange why there weren't any people around but I decided not to bother myself with that because the last thing I need is for someone to kidnap me again.

I somewhat knew where I was heading since there were a few shops I recognized. The wind was getting even chillier than before and my cotton pajamas were no good. My teeth clattered and my hands and feet became numb. I stopped for a moment and looked around again but once again, compunction rushed as I realized that I was lost again.

I didn't even know Mavis' address so that I could knock on someone's door and ask. I was pretty much lost and maybe never to be found...

I was losing hope, in fact, I had already lost my hope and the only remaining warmth left in my body was my pumping heart. I sat near another vending machine and rubbed both my icy palms together. I wouldn't have minded if a fire had ignited but to no avail, the cold was winning over me.

I was in the brink of crying like a baby and I won't lie, I was scared to death and I kept cursing myself when just then, like a fallen angel, I felt a hand on my shoulder. Immediately looking up, my eyes widened and I jumped up to embrace his warm body that felt like the bonfire I had just run away from.

He carefully wrapped his arms around me and asked in his gentle voice, "Are you okay?"

I shook my head and I knew I was crying because there were blotches on his jacket but I was so relieved. I wanted to slap myself for running away from home.

"Let's get you back home." He said and the two of us shivered our way towards the house. We didn't speak anything because I was too guilty and cold and he was too kind to keep quiet.

I wanted to take a warm bath and drink a cup of hot chocolate right after I got home but before that, I decided to apologize to everyone for my reckless action.

He had held me so tightly all the way to the house like he was afraid that I would run away again. He only let go of me when we reached the foot of the steps and he rang the doorbell.

At once, the door was opened ajar by Zeref as if he was waiting right near it the whole time and pulled me inside. "Damn woman! Look how cold you are! You could've frozen to death!" He yelled at me as he began pushing me to the living room while simultaneously back-hugging me. He tried to keep me warm and he was, in fact, warm and gentle.

Mavis quickly joined us the in the living room with a basin of hot water and cloth. She noticed how my hands were trembling and held them tightly as Zeref began dipping the cloth in the hot water and placing them on my forehead. I felt so ashamed of myself to run away like that. Mavis and Zeref are taking plenty care of me and yet, I keep troubling them for no reason...

"I'm sorry..." I shivered and my voice cracked.

"Shh, shh," Zeref softly shushed me, "It's okay, Erza. We understand." He smiled at me and all I could do was feel even more guilty.

I looked at Jellal and he was helping himself with some coffee in the kitchen. I wanted to thank him as well for finding me and bringing me back home...I also want to ask him how he managed to find me but I guess I shouldn't because I got lucky. He came out in the cold to find me and I should thank him for that instead of throwing silly questions at him.

I looked around a little and I felt a tiny sadness as I couldn't see Gray anywhere. House without him felt so little and noiseless, I thought to ask Mavis where he was but before I could, he slowly appeared in front of me. He slouched at the wall next to the portrait of a flower and smiled. He shook his head and I tilted mine, confusedly.

"Childish." He mouthed clearly and I pouted.

"I will keep the hot water ready," Mavis said and got up to head for the bathroom. Meanwhile, Zeref took his place in front of me and glared.

I apologized to him in a whisper and his stiff glare slowly softened into a concerned one.

"Never do that again, promise me?" He asked and I nodded without hesitating.

In a few minutes, before I could thank Jellal or talk to Gray, Mavis called me saying that my hot water tub was ready. I wanted to quickly dip myself in the steaming water so I excitedly jogged towards my bathroom. Mavis informed me that she had kept my spare clothing's near the basin, handed me a towel and headed back to the living to make me some soup. Yet again, remorse filled my heart after realizing that all I'm giving Mavis and Zeref and the rest of them is burden and inconvenience.

I carefully stepped in the hot water and slid underneath, keeping only my eyes and nose floating above.

For the first time in a few days, I felt good. I felt thoughtless. I felt blank.

I closed my eyes with a bubbly sigh and drifted into an unconscious state naively. I suddenly woke up again with a slight jerk on my head since I thought I was going to drown. It was the knocks on the door that brought me back to Earth.

"Yes?" I asked loudly yet I could hear the sleepiness in the edge of my tone.

"It's me." The voice said.

"Me who?" I asked because I seriously couldn't guess who it was. The voices that pass through a thick door are always difficult to presume.

"Jellal Fernandes, the one who proposed you, remember? Or do you have amnesia?"

How can he take something so lightly...?

"What is it?" I asked, grabbing a handful of water and splashing it on my face.

"What's your answer?"

"Answer to what?"

"Are you trying to act dumb or are you really dumb?"

"Hey!" I know what he's asking me, however, I don't know how to reply...Maybe I should change the subject? Wait, I should probably thank him now. This is a good chance since he won't see my cheeks turning cherry. "Uh, Jellal-Kun, thank you for today..."

"I didn't come here so that you can thank me. I want your answer, Scarlet."

Damn, he saw through me even though he can't see me. Did that make sense? Anyway, I should ask for some time because my inane heart is having trouble making the right choice! I mean why can't I just say YES to him? What's wrong with me...?

"Can you give me some time?"

"Time?"

"Yes."

"For what?"

"For giving you the answer."

"How much time?"

"I—I don't know--"

"Why are you hesitating now? Aren't you deeply in love with me?"

"I-I j-just need some time...please."

There was no response from the other side and I heard faint footsteps departing away.

Or so, I thought, "Tomorrow, I wanna take you somewhere."

"Take me somewhere..." I muttered, "Where?"

"Do you like surprises?"

"A little."

"Then it's a surprise."

"Oh...okay. I'm looking forward to it, Jellal-Kun!" My voice unintendedly raised an octave.

"Night, Scarlet." I could sense him smirking his amused smirk and this time, his footsteps, surely his footsteps, departed from outside the bathroom.