Day 55- Shattered

"Then...see you tomorrow, Fernandes," I said softly as he stood across me with cold eyes. He was staring at me but as always, I didn't know what he was thinking.

"Erza, let's go?" Gray asked and I nodded.

Jellal turned around and so did I. We both parted our ways and I will be lying if I said that I didn't yearn to hear his voice. The whole trip from Hakone to Tokyo, he was speechless. As though he was angry at me for something...or I might be just overthinking it but I can at least recognize the face Jellal makes when he's disappointed or annoyed at me.

"I told him about us yesterday," Gray suddenly said and sighed. We were walking in our own pace. In a pace that was slow to the world, that was slow to even the snails around us but there was no hurry to head back home. I could still smell the fresh breeze of Hakone from my hoodie and the scent of cherry blossoms lingering around my hair.

At once, I looked at Gray with a confused expression.

"He wasn't shocked though," He chuckled, "He directly went to sleep without congratulating me for my break up," And he laughed embarrassingly.

"Oh..." I uttered and stared at my moving feet.

"You don't seem surprised as well that he wasn't surprised. What's with you both?"

"Sorry..."

Gray sighed, "You don't just apologize for such things, Erza."

"Sorry..."

"You want me to repeat what I just said?"

"Sor—"

"Okay, if you want to pity me, go ahead but don't apologize unnecessarily. It's not helping me and it won't help you."

"So--"

"You want me to kiss you again?"

Immediately, I pursed my lips inside and nodded.

"Gee Erza, don't make this hard for you...I'm fine with whatever decision you have made. I'm not going to force you and being honest, I actually can't because then I will be sectioned under 'forceful marriage' if you ever change your mind and complain to the cops but this is not the point..." He laughed, "The point is, don't pity me, don't feel sad or gloomy for me because I'm not dying for goodness sake. I can find another girl for me. And what if she's even more beautiful than you?" He looked at me and winked.

I scoffed and playfully punched his shoulders, "Well, I certainly hope you get a more beautiful woman than I."

"But I can't because the only beautiful woman is standing right in front of my eyes."

Basically, those types of cringy sentences freezes my body. I wanted to hear those words from Jellal's mouth but instead...he's the one using them.

"Oi, don't just stop in the middle of the road, it's dangerous," He gently pulled me by my arm and pushed me to the corner, "If you want to freeze, you can do it ahead of me so that even if you freeze I can keep pushing you—what the hell am I even talking about..." Gray ruffled his hair with another chuckle and walked ahead of me, "I guess I'm a little struck by your rejection but I promise I will get over it, Erza."

"Hm..." I nodded even though he wasn't looking at me.

--

I rang the doorbell since I knew mom was going to be home today. She said she took a leave from work before the three of us went to Hakone. But, I didn't ask her why...

Abruptly, the door opened and there she was with a huge grin on her face like Korosensei*

"Welcome you both!" She gleefully greeted and stepped back for us to enter.

"Mom...you scared me," I said impassively and walked inside, "I'm home."

"Good afternoon, Mrs. Scarlet," Gray bowed and entered as well.

"I have a really good news for you both!" She excitedly jumped up and down.

What has gotten into her all of a sudden...?

"What news?" I asked and so did Gray at the same time.

"But first, you both need to freshen up, then eat something! I made pie!"

Man, she looks too excited for some reason...I have a bad feeling about this.

"Mom, first tell us what it is?"

"No, it's an important matter and it shouldn't be taken lightly. I need you both to freshen a bit and then we can talk once your stomachs are full! Now go before I smack your butts with the stick I have in my kitchen--"

"OKAY OKAY FINE! We're going..." I deeply sighed and lazily headed upstairs. By this time, I didn't care what Gray was up to. I closed my door, threw my bag on the floor and fell on my bed like a worn out toy.

I didn't feel it at the time but the trip was really tiring...and many unexpected things have happened but...how am I going to tell mom about mine and Gray's breaking of the engagement?

"Leave all that up to me...I will take care of it," Well, he did say he would take care of it but...I wonder what mom's reaction would be. She would be angry, right? In the end it would be who would get the scolding but at least Gray's explanation would remove a layer of rage from her.

I wonder how he would explain it though...will he take the fault on himself saying he didn't like me? Even if he said that, the reason is not about liking, it's about promise and I'm pretty sure mom is hell bent on keeping such major promises...

Ugh! I'm so tired of all this...I want all of this to end quickly...Please, I just want to get over it and sleep.

--

I headed downstairs maybe after an hour or so because I unintendedly took a nap before taking a shower (And suddenly, I crave doughnuts...)

As expected, no—as unexpected, mom and Gray were formally waiting for me in the living room. There was a plate of cookies and tea on the table so instead of wasting my energy to go all the way to the kitchen, I just crashed on the couch and grabbed a couple cookies before looking at my mom with a rather serious expression, "So? What did you want to talk about?"

Gray was sitting beside mom with a serious but not-so-serious face and was nibbling on his cookie like a little kid who was too afraid to speak.

"Okay! So, the thing is..."

"Mom, please...can you just get to the point already?" I pouted and she pouted as well but my pout was cuter than hers so she had to give in. Muahahahaha! I can pretty much manipulate any of my family members. That's my talent.

"Fine. You want me to get to the point. I will get to the point," She crossed her arms and leaned back on the chair sternly. "Yours and Gray's marriage is next week. I have already distributed the wedding cards while you were gone so you don't need to worry about it anymore. Plus, I have talked to the caterer and organizers and trust me when I tell you that there are a lot of highly maintained guests coming to your wedding," She laughed so evilly and then looked at me again, "The date and time is also set, Saturday, April 22nd at 3 pm. Congratulations my lovely daughter and," She turned to Gray, "Congratulations my son-in-law."

Son-in-law...? Wait, what? The marriage is next week? But didn't Gray tell mom about the—oh no, he didn't...I can tell just by looking at his innocent looking expression that he couldn't tell mom about us! Man, I shouldn't have trusted him! "Leave all that up to me. I will take care of it," My foot! All he's doing is nibbling on that cookie! Gray you—okay, I need to calm down and I have no choice but to tell mom.

"Mom, there's something I want to tell you," I spoke loud and clearly.

"What is it, honey? Oh, is it about your honeymoon? I have decided that too! But it's a secret~" She winked at me and I wondered...what wrong did I ever do to deserve this...

"No, mom! It's not about honeymoon...ew..." I looked at Gray and he too disdainfully grimaced upon hearing the word honeymoon (But of course, he wouldn't mind going to a honeymoon with me because that's what he wanted right? He's hopeless and so am I...)

"Then what is it?" She asked, restlessly tapping her feet.

I inhaled, then exhaled, inhaled and then exhaled—

"Erza, I don't have time for yoga lessons, I need to go out to pick a dress for the wedding, will you please make it quick?"

I closed my eyes and this time I was going to say it! I was definitely going to say—When Karma rang the telephone.

What more could I have asked for other than mom's distraction at the very moment I opened my mouth? And I thought they were really prolonging the scenes in the movies while in real life, those types of distractions do happen!

I slapped my neck and looked at Gray. He was still nibbling on his cookie without meeting my eyes. My hands were itching so badly to stuff those damn cookies in his mouth but I ceased because getting angry at the moment is just not going to work.

I groaned while my mom began talking to someone named, "Porlyusica," That's quite a weird name but whatever because I just stomped out of the room and marched to my backyard because I heard the weather's going to be breezy and cloudy today.

Taking out my phone from my pant pocket, I quickly texted him.

To- Jelly.

Subject- T-T

CAN WE MEET?! I WANT TO SEE YOU! I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO TELL YOU!

And then after some time, my phone chimed.

From- Jelly.

Subject- ?

What is it?

To- Jelly.

Subject- !

JUST MEET ME! WHERE DO WE MEET?!

From- Jelly.

Subject- ...

At the park?

To- Jelly.

Subject- TT-TT

OKAY! I WILL BE THERE RIGHT AWAY!

I went in circles for about three to four minutes in absolute tension and then finally decided to leave when just then, I bumped into Gray on the verandah.

"So...you're going to tell him?" He asked without apologizing.

"Yeah..." I sighed, "I have a feeling if he talks to my mom and you talk to my mom and I talk to my mom, we can sort this out..."

"I'm sorry, Erza. I tried telling her but she wouldn't listen to me."

"Yeah, I assumed you might have tried."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No, it's all right," I smiled, gave a quick glance, and walked past him when startlingly, he grabbed my arm and stopped me from walking further ahead.

"Erza, what if...what if this marriage is inevitable?"

--

"So? What did you want to talk about?" He asked.

We both sat under the tree shade because it was pleasant spot. Jellal gave me a carton of cold strawberry milk and he drank a can of soda. Judging by his face, I could see he was quite annoyed of coming here since he was tired as well...but, I really needed to talk to him or else, my heart wouldn't have calmed down.

"Jellal-kun..." I spoke and my heart clenched inside like someone or something was squeezing it. I decided to get to the point instead of running around in circles, "My marriage is fixed for next week..."

At once, he stopped drinking his soda for a moment and looked ahead of him blankly. And yet, I couldn't figure out what he was thinking.

The wind blew his hair sideways, and the shade of the tree made his skin look tanner...or maybe he did turn tan after the Hakone trip but in any way, his side profile seemed to have made my heart thump a thousand times or maybe more.

Slowly, he looked at me and said, "Congratulations."

Congratulations...? What? No...why is he saying that? He should be saying, "Come on, let's talk to your parents because I'm the one to marry you, Erza!" He should be saying that but...why did he congratulate me...?

"What...?" My voice shattered.

"Well then, you could have said this on the phone as well but anyway, I hope you spend your life happily," And he smiled at me like this whole love thing didn't mean anything to him. Like I meant nothing to him... He hopes for my happy life? What kind of a guy is he...?

However, before I had realized it, I had slapped him real hard on his cheek. It was unintentional but maybe in the corner of my mind I did want to slap him. He deserved it anyway. Breaking my heart like I was just a high school confessing my feelings to him, what does he take me for?

His expression was shocked and speechless. He lightly touched his cheek with the tip of his fingers and glanced at me.

"How can you congratulate me?" My voice shook, "I know you love me then why aren't you saying anything? Are you okay with this?!" And my tone gradually increased.

"Erza, calm do--"

"No! I won't calm down unless you tell me that you love me! Then why did you kiss me? Why did you tell me not to marry Gray! Tell me! Please...tell me..."

He averted his eyes from mine and kept quiet. I could see it from his face that he was holding back his words but why? Why isn't he letting them out like any other normal guy would do? Does he think highly of himself? Tch...Why did I even fall for such a guy?

"Fine," I got up and looked down at him. He looked up at me, "If that's what you want! I'm going to marry Gray and live a happy life and I sure as hell not gonna regret it, Jellal Fernandes!" And immediately, I turned around and walked away from him. I knew he wasn't going to stop me or anything. I knew that he wouldn't even say those three simple words anytime soon. And I knew now that my love meant nothing to him.

I can't help but feel hatred for him. He broke my heart so many times...then he pieced them back together only to break it again.

I want to cry but my tears won't matter to him anyway.

--

I rang the doorbell. Gray opened the door. I walked inside. He asked me what was wrong. I couldn't reply to him. I felt dizzy. I felt like my soul was being taken away. I felt fragmented. He asked me again what was wrong. I turned around. Walked towards him. And hugged him. I don't know what I was thinking. But Gray was warm. I could hear his beating heart. And his hold on me was gentle. Like he would really take care of me. He really loves me. And I regret breaking his heart like that. He asked me what was wrong. I was still in a trance to really reply to him but anyway I did. And he tightened the hug and placed his head on mine supportively. It's okay he said. And I said something so unexpected. It froze the both of us like a still picture. Like a butterfly caught in a spider's web.

"Gray...Let's get married."