Day 52- The dusk sky

I woke up before sunrise since it's the talk of the town that watching the sunrise was a must at Hakone. It's a sight no one wants to miss.

Our rooms were right across, so I peeked in just to check if any of them were awake. Sadly, I was the only one since the guys were asleep like a log.

Slowly tip-toeing my way outside, a strong yet pleasant gush of wind blew past me. The dusk sky appeared so picturesque. So dramatic and bold.

Feelings at this time of the hour are the most truthful, they say.

I stood near the railing. It was cold but not freezing so I could hold it with my sweater clothed hands. The feeling that you're the one and only awake at this time is quite fascinating. Everything was so silent and dead-like.

The birds were awake though, so I wasn't really alone.

The sun was on its horizon, gradually peeking at the world above. The dark purple sky was soon mixing with white and yellow like a color palate, soon turning into a light, decent purple.

It was a view most breath-taking. A moment I had to capture with my mind.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" I heard a familiar voice. A voice that made me turn around at once in utter surprise.

"Morning," Jellal touched the top of my head and stood beside me, "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes...I did," I was stunned upon seeing him so suddenly but I was drowning in happiness. I turned back to the railing and looked at him, "Did you sleep well?"

"It's hard to say. He snores uglier than you."

I chuckled and rubbed my palm for some warmth. Although the sun was rising, the cold still lingered around me.

To my surprise, Jellal touched my hand. I looked at him and he looked at me and I could certainly say that there was this moment between us. This little spark that twinkled in our eyes. He then held my hand as if he was trying to protect me from something or someone. As if he wanted to say something but couldn't and placed our hands in his cardigan pocket.

It was warm.

My heart was beating but I held back his hand tightly as a response. A response to his reticent confession.

There was this comfort that I could feel between us. The gap we had was now closed or likely fostered.

"The sun's rising," He said and the two of us looked at the flaming ball. It wasn't flaming brightly but it was showing us that without him, life would be a complete darkness.

"Yes...it's rising."

And it rose. Slowly but it rose higher than us, higher than the birds, and higher than the clouds. We could suddenly feel people waking up, the silence brightening like it was lit by a matchstick and the loneliness bowing to companionship.

In a snap of the fingers, everything had changed.

In a snap of the fingers, Jellal suddenly said something.

"Scarlet, the thing is...I don't like you mingling with that guy."

It was surely the truth he was saying because it was so damn obvious.

"I know," I said, "What do you want me to do? Throw the ring and tell him to find someone else to marry?" I intended to ask him as a joke, instead, it turned out a little seriously.

"Hm,"

"Hm? What does that mean? Yes, or no?"

"What do you think it means?" He looked down at me.

"Uh...Yes?"

Jellal let go of my hand, took a step back and turned me around. He wrapped his tepid arms around me and breathed, "Probably."

"So you do love me, huh?" I unintentionally smirked under my breath.

He let go of me, slowly but gently and aligned his head with mine, "I'm not sure yet."

"What do you mean, 'you're not sure yet?'," I pouted.

"I like you having you around me, I like the way you're always so cheerful. That doesn't mean that I love you though."

"That totally means you love me," I scoffed, "Then why did you hug me? Why would you tell me to stay away from Gray? It's clearly cause you're in love with me, Fernandes."

He flicked my head, "Still, I don't think it's love."

I sighed.

Why is he so stubborn in accepting the truth! Why can't he just agree that he loves me and end this cold act of his!

"Fine, whatever. If you don't think it's love then who am I to force you to say it is," Honestly, I got a little annoyed because I'm done trying to tell him to open up to me.

I tried to escape from his arms and just go back to my room, however, he grabbed my wrist, pulled me closer to him and roughly pinned me to the railing, "Fine, you want to know my true feelings, don't you?" He looked at me impassively. His eyes were as calm as always but mine were wide open. So wide that he could probably see himself in my hazel balls.

"Fernandes, what are you doing?" I asked but he didn't reply. Little by little he grew closer to me and just as he was nearing me, I closed my eyes. My face was burning up, my hands were sweating and I could feel his nose touching mine.

He was going to do it.

Finally, Jellal was going to—

"What a beautiful day it is, isn't it?" When my eyes suddenly shot open upon hearing his voice.

Gray was standing beside Jellal and Jellal was looking at him, still not unpinning me from the railing.

"Oh, sorry! Did I disturb you two love-birds?" He asked and looked at me while rubbing his palms to shun out the cold. Why was he smiling? Why did he say something like that?

Jellal looked at me and suddenly pecked my lips before backing a step away from me. He looked at Gray once more, with a stare that was difficult to comprehend and smirked.

Gray's eyes turned from wide to squint. It certainly appeared that he was angry. That he was going to punch Jellal in the face any moment now but he held back. Maybe because I was there but by his expression he was holding back his fight on mode.

Jellal soon left the two of us and went back to his room.

Awkwardly, Gray and I were standing across each other. Distance apart.

I was getting breathless. Although it really wasn't a kiss, my heart jumped across the heavens and back. I felt my soul leaving my body and I'm surprised that I'm not dead yet. It's cold but I'm feeling so damn hot.

I began fanning myself a little with my palms and decided to turn around to face the sun but unexpectedly, once more, I got forcefully turned around by Gray. He glared at me for a few long seconds before bringing his thumb closer to mine, "I don't like that guy," He said and gently rubbed my lips, "Why don't you ever feel anything for me?" His hand slowly grazed onto my cheek and he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear, "Is he the only one you see? I'm standing here as well, Erza!" His tone had increased, perhaps inadvertently.

I couldn't respond to him. My words were getting tangled in my mouth and it became grueling for me to even articulate anything.

"For once...just once, I beg you to search for me. Forget about him for a second and think about me...I can keep you happy than him, I can express myself better than him..." He dropped his hand to his side and sighed, "I love you, Erza Scarlet. Please love me too."

--

We went to other different places in Hakone and everything was as beautiful as a portrait. It was like living inside a never-ending dream. A loop I would surely want to stay in.

But, at the moment, I couldn't feel the joy of roaming with those two because damn, I can't even look straight in their eyes for a minute!

The more I try to talk to them, the more embarrassed and tongue-tied I get. It's obviously their fault for bringing in the awkwardness between us.

Eventually, as I had hoped for the day to end quicker than a snail, before I knew, I was back in my hotel room, contemplating over my disastrous, complex life.

"Please love me too."

Ugh! I grabbed the pillow and smacked it a few times in sheer frustration. Then I thought of Jellal and smacked it a hundred more times.

Throwing my pillow back on my futon, I slumped down with my hands stretched to my side and took deep breaths.

"I just want to leave from here and go back home..." I muttered, "My heart aches...I don't want to break anyone's heart...But I want to choose my own life...I want to choose on my own who I'm going to spend my life with..."

"Please love me too."

I wiggled my hands and legs and finally closed my eyes. Maybe tomorrow is going to be a better day. Maybe tomorrow, we can shun the awkwardness and at least tour like friends...forget about who loves who and just be normal friends. A normal trio that came to Hakone for a good hot spring...

Maybe, yeah.