Day 50- Hurt

"WHAT!" I screamed and hopped an inch from my chair.

"Yeah, It would be fun, wouldn't it?" He smiled.

"But--but--I thought you didn't like Jellal."

"That's weird, what did he do to me to make me not like him? I have no problem with that guy and being honest, he's damn cool," Gray scoffed and crossed his arms and legs on the couch.

"So...you're coming to the trip?" I asked again and he nodded, "Of course, the three of us are sure to have fun, right? Besides, I really needed some vacation time so I pretty much must thank that dude."

And there goes my imagination in ruins. Look at how miserable I am, I thought I would spend some time together with Jellal (Alone) but in the end, it turned out to be the three of us.

Fate really is playing with me.

"All right," I sighed because that's all I can do now. Sigh, "Trips in two days, Jellal said to meet up at the station."

"Cool," Gray nodded.

Our conversation pretty much ended like an apocalypse and seeing each other eye to eye wasn't easy, at least for me.

But then it hit me. I didn't apologize to Gray for not going on his date and being sincere, I feel ashamed. This is not my character and I really need to apologize to him.

"Uh, Gray..." I cleared my throat and he looked at me.

"Yes, Erza?"

"I'm, um, sorry for that day...I—I wasn't feeling too good--"

"It's okay," He cut me off, "Maybe I understand you."

"Maybe you do..." I bobbed my head.

"Listen Erza," Gray leaned in forward, his gaze still stuck on me, "I know that's the guy you like or love or whatever but please...look at me too. I'm here as well and I'm right in front of your eyes but you never seem to look at me. It hurts," He said softly.

The expression on his face was begging me to see him in the eyes even if it was for a minute.

What he said is right...I never do seem to look at him properly. Sure, maybe I catch a glance or two but never for too long.

"I'm sorry...for hurting you," I said.

"Do you think I should get used to it?" He asked and I frowned, "Getting hurt...do I need to get used to it?"

I slowly blinked.

Why does he love me so much? Why would he want to get himself hurt by my actions? Why wouldn't he let go of me already? What made him fall in love with such a girl?

This has become more complicated that I thought it would be...

"I—" I had no words to respond to him.

"So," Gray got up from his seat and placed a hand in his pocket, "Trips in two days, right? Well, let me see if there's anything I need to buy. I'm gonna be in my room," He said and left the living room before I could reply.

I inhaled a huge amount of air but couldn't exhale. Something was eating me up, slowly but surely.

What do I do? Do I need to sacrifice my love to make someone happy? To keep someone from getting hurt? Because I can't live while knowing that there's a guy whose life is ruined because of me while I live damn happily.

This ring...Is it time that I accept it entirely?