Atsushi

TW: Mentions of kidnapping

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Water curved down the nape of his neck. Dazai had his eyes closed, letting the shower warm his skin. Chuuya was asleep in his room, it was the early hours of the morning, and the two had embraced until Chuuya had collapsed, exhausted. Chuuya had clung onto Dazai all night, he could feel the water burning the scratch marks his boyfriend had made across his back. His boyfriend. Dazai smiled.

"Boyfriend. Boyfriend. Boyfriend" The word felt good on his lips as he whispered against the hum of the shower. It felt nice, to be finally able to understand how he felt.

Dazai shut off the shower, shivering, he hadn't realized how cold it had gotten as the day darkened, he and Chuuya had been plenty warm enough wrapped up in each other. Their bodies colliding and connecting, whispering out to each other in the dark. Dazai was blushing. He had never blushed remembering the events of a fun night spent with someone. But then again, sex had never mattered to him the way it had with Chuuya.

Dazai had almost gotten fully dressed when his phone rang.

He glanced at the time: 3:04 am. He hesitated before picking up.

"Hello?" He muttered incredulously into the line.

"Hello, I'm Officer Fukuzawa Yukichi, I'm in charge of Atsushi's case," The man said, "Are you Dazai Osamu?"

Dazai felt his heart stop. He felt like he was going to be sick, "Is Atsushi alive? Is he-"

"Mr Osamu," The officer interrupted, "I need you to stay calm. Atsushi has been found, we need you to come down to the police station and-"

But Dazai had already hung up, almost forgetting to put on a shirt before racing out the bathroom door.

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Chuuya's back ached.

It wasn't an astute observation of course, but it ached bad. He was also cold. Freezing cold. And the fluorescent lights that flickered over them did nothing to help. He wondered if Police Officers ever got cold, since it was clear they never turned the heater on, even during the dead hours of the morning.

Dazai gripped his hand tightly, their fingers intertwined, Chuuya giving a comforting squeeze. Dazai glanced over at him and smiled, it wasn't his usual smile, Dazai was fighting down the growing worry in the pit of his stomach.

Chuuya had been shaken awake not 20 minutes earlier by a frantic Dazai, his boyfriend giving him only a moment to throw on some clothes that were definitely not suited to the icy weather outside. Chuuya was sure Dazai had broken many road rules driving like a maniac to the police station. But they were here now, waiting.

Chuuya looked down at the white tiling on the floor. The place made him uncomfortable. The last time he was there it was after Atsushi went missing, and Chuuya had sat traumatized, and worried about the person he was sure hated him. The sight of the place churned his already unsettled stomach.

He didn't really know what was going on, only that Atsushi had been 'found,' whatever that meant. Chuuya had only known Atsushi for a while, but already he was filled with fear for the young boy. He could only imagine how Dazai felt.

The redhead was too busy thinking about the throbbing in his head and the pain across his chest from the attack to notice Dazai jolt and slip from his hand. When Chuuya looked up, noticing the absence of Dazai at his palm, he saw Dazai bent on his knees, hugging a small gray haired boy.

Chuuya clutched at his chest. Atsushi.

He put his hands in his pockets, smiling quietly to himself as the two brothers cried in each other's arm, Dazai fussing over his younger brother and Atsushi nodding through tears.

"He's such a caring brother," A voice behind him spoke. Chuuya turned to see the receptionist hovering behind him, a wide smile across her face.

"Yeah he is," Chuuya nodded.

The receptionist came up and stood next to him, "He would come in every day after Atsushi went missing, he would ask after his brother. I could tell it was breaking him apart."

Chuuya smiled sadly, remembering the day Atshushi had gone missing, how Dazai had screamed and screamed until the widows shook and his throat burned, "Yeah. It did."

"I hadn't seen him that way since his Mom died," The woman sighed, "Poor kid, he's been through so much."

"You knew him back then?" Chuuya couldn't help but ask.

The women nodded, "His mother and I were friends. It was tragic, her death," The woman shivered as if the memory brought a coldness to her, "I remember holding Dazai at her funeral, he had seemed so small, so fragile. Then the next time I saw him he was smiling, but he was cold, emotionless, and... mature. As if all the color had drained from his life," The woman shook her head, "His Mom's death hurt him more than he let on. It changed him."

Chuuya thought back to the Dazai he once knew, young, kind, and cold yet so very smart, with a quick humor and distant mind. Chuuya had always thought Dazai was that way.

The woman looked at him, "The only time I ever saw a glimpse of that color he once had was because of you."

Chuuya blinked, surprised, he could hear Dazai chatting to Atsushi, but that conversation seemed distant, "Because of... me??"

The woman smiled, "Often when he came here, looking for his brother, he'd start talking, it was clear there was no one there to listen so I did," She gazed out at Dazai cupping Atsushi's face, "He would get talking about this redhead boy, how much he liked and adored him, and how much he hated himself for letting him go."

"Adored..." Chuuya whispered to himself, unsure if the woman could even hear him.

"I had never see him so hopeful since his Mom was alive," The woman smiled at Chuuya, "So thank you."

She began to walk off, "What did you say to him?" Chuuya asked before she left, "About me."

"That he should chase the beautiful things he has before they burn out," She winked at him and walked away, and Chuuya realized with a start that he hadn't asked the woman for her name.

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Dazai beckoned Chuuya forwards from across the room, crouching with an arm wrapped around Atsushi. Chuuya hesitated before making his way over, stumbling as Atsushi threw himself at Chuuya. The redhead glanced at Dazai in surprise, but his boyfriend was smiling as Atsushi hugged Chuuya.

A part of Chuuya didn't even know if Atsushi would remember him, let alone hug him like a long lost friend. Though Chuuya could assume that for Atsushi, everyone would now be a long lost friend.

Chuuya didn't waste a moment before ruffling the kid's hair, "Hey kiddo. Glad you're home." Atsushi looked up at Chuuya, his hair was longer, darker, it hung in front of his eyes. Chuuya wondered how he could even see.

"Dazai already told me but," Atsushi's voice was quieter than it had been, "Is it true you guys are finally dating?"

Chuuya stifled a laugh. This kid's priorities are fucked.

"Yeah, we are," Chuuya stood up and held the boy's hand, guiding him over to Dazai.

Atsushi smiled, it was a smile more empty than happy, his smile was covering something darker he kept hidden beneath. With a start, Chuuya realized that's exactly what Dazai did.

Dazai hugged his brother again, pulling Chuuya down so that the three of them embraced, and despite the fact it was freezing inside the weary police station, it was a warm hug, filled with many unsaid words making up for the months together they had missed.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," An authoritative voice ended the silence they had found, "I'm Officer Fukuzawa, Dazai we talked briefly on the phone."

Dazai glanced up, "You were the officer in charge of Atsushi's case."

The officer nodded, "I'd like to have a word with you."

Dazai stood, brushing himself off, he pulled Chuuya up by the hand, gripping him tightly, Chuuya returned the gesture with a comforting squeeze.

The officer eyed Chuuya, "Privately, if you don't mind. Family only."

"He's my boyfriend," Dazai told him confidently, "He can stay."

The Officer bowed his head, leading the two of them into a private room. Chuuya glanced back at Atsushi, watching the woman from earlier handing him a packet of biscuits.

"I'm sorry to pull you away from your reunion," Fukuzawa apologized, "There are matter's I need to discuss with you. Will your father be joining us?"

Dazai shook his head, "I doubt it."

"I'm going to be blunt with you," Fukuzawa said calmly, "It's a miracle we found him in such a state. It was very likely that after this much time he might have passed."

"How did you find him?" Chuuya asked, his eye's narrowing.

"That's what I wanted to discuss with you," Fukuzawa sighed, a slight shake in his voice, "We didn't."

"What?" Dazai took a step forward, Chuuya assumed he didn't realize he was gripping on his hand so hard it hurt.

"We didn't find him," Fukuzawa raised his hand, "About half an hour ago a car drove by and dropped him at the police station door."

"Can you identify the car?" Chuuya asked, speaking for Dazai whose face had gone very white.

Fukuzawa shook his head, "It had no plates."

"But there are cameras, right?" Dazai sounded sick, "You can see what the car looked like?"

Fukuzawa opened his mouth to say something, but thought better of it, "I've got the footage here," He pulled out his phone and showed the boys a recording of what looked to be the outside of the police station, "This was about 10 minutes before the car came by, it's dark but if we fast forward..." Chuuya watched intently as a silver car sped past, its windows so dark you couldn't see inside, it missing it's plates, and it barely stopped as the back door swung open and Atshushi tumbled out. He felt Dazai tense next to him as the crumpled figure of his brother began to sit up.

"That's enough thanks," Chuuya covered the screen, saving his boyfriend from having to watch any more, "You can't identify the car."

The officer put away his phone, "We're trying, but it's difficult based on circumstances. Especially since the car is different from the one that took him months ago. We don't want to assume foul play, but it seems like the most likely answer. It's best for you to keep an eye on your brother."

Chuuya glanced at Dazai, the color had drained from his lips, his pupils darting back and forth behind his half closed eyelids. "Dazai, are you oka-"

"Where is that bitch!" A gravelly voice shouted from the foyer, "I swear when I'll find her I'll- get your hands off of me!"

Chuuya had no time to react as Dazai slipped from his hand and sprinted out of the room. Officer Fukuzawa shouted after Chuuya as he followed his boyfriend into the foyer.

Chuuya had never met Dazai's father. He had heard stories of his terrifying demeanor and abusive personality, but the man in front of him was smaller than he had imagined, his face flushed with alcohol and anger, two police officers restraining him from either side as he slurred and grumbled. Chuuya cast his eyes to Dazai standing in front of his father, taller, even though he came up short of his father, as if a certain confidence gave him the power to stand taller than his father.

"Why are you here?" Dazai asked, all the sickness in his voice having dissipated.

"To get my son." His Dad sneered and pulled his arms from the police officer's grasp, "Where is Atsushi?"

"Your son?" Dazai asked, ignoring him, "The son that I took care of? That I raised? The son that you traumatized and neglected his whole life? That you gave up on when he went missing?"

"I didn't give up on him," His Dad narrowed his eyes.

"Well you gave up on me," Dazai was almost shouting, but his voice was steady, "You left me to rot alone for months the moment he was gone. I'm lucky I had someone kind-hearted enough to care for me when I had nothing left, because my own father didn't care enough to even visit."

Chuuya flushed when he realized Dazai was talking about him. He prayed that Dazai's Dad stayed how he was, small and inferior, he didn't want this to escalate. He didn't want Dazai to get hurt.

"You are a horrible father," Dazai no longer seemed to care who in the police station heard him, "Maybe there was a time you cared about me but ever since Mom died you've hated my guts. I raised Atsushi, I comforted him after you hurt him, I taught him to tie his shoes, and read, and fly a kite. Me."

His Dad's eyes were fixed on the floor, he looked hurt, he almost looked remorseful.

"Unlike you, your sons have been able to find love where they thought they couldn't," Dazai glanced behind him and caught Chuuya's eye, "That just proves that despite you being a shitty father, I'm not as fucked up as you."

Chuuya smiled, watching as Dazai's Father seemed to sink further and further into the floor. His eyes shifted to Dazai, noticing his shoulders relax slightly, the muscles in his back moving below his shirt. Dazai turned around, his face grim. But as he noticed Chuuya his glassy eyes seemed to glimmer.

"Yeah. That's my boyfriend," Chuuya thought with a smile.

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A/N:

Sorry for the break, I've been really unwell, but I'm planning a new Soukoku story to do after this one is finished. More info about it will come out soon.

Thanks for 40k reads guys!!