a slow life

I came home feeling raw, like my entire world had been peeled back and exposed to something I was never supposed to see.

Vampires. Werewolves. Monsters in the dark, hiding behind familiar faces.

Everything Jacob told me had cracked my reality wide open, peeling it back layer by layer until I could barely recognize it. He'd said the words so simply, so certainly, as if they wouldn't change anything. But they did. They changed everything.

The weight of it settled over me like a suffocating fog, thick and inescapable. The truth clung to my skin, burrowing into every inch of me, reshaping the way I saw the world, the way I saw them—Bella, Jacob, even myself.

I shut the front door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, letting my head rest against the wood. My hands ran over my face, like I could scrub away the exhaustion clinging to me, but it didn't work. I still felt like I was sinking beneath something too heavy to carry.

The house was eerily quiet.

Not the peaceful kind of quiet, but the kind that felt unnatural, like stepping into a room where something terrible had just happened. A silence that wasn't empty, but filled with things unsaid, things waiting.

I barely took two steps into the living room before I saw her.

Bella.

She was curled up on the couch, a book balanced on her lap, but she wasn't reading it. Her eyes weren't moving across the pages, her fingers clutched the spine a little too tightly, the way someone does when they need something to hold onto.

She was waiting.

She already knew.

When she finally glanced up, her face was unreadable, but her eyes—they were sharp, guarded.

"You were with Jacob," she said. It wasn't a question.

I exhaled slowly. "Yeah."

Her fingers curled tighter around the book. "And?"

I hesitated, searching her expression for something—concern, guilt, an ounce of the unease I felt—anything to tell me she understood what a monumental shift this was. But there was nothing.

Finally, I met her gaze. "And... I know, Bella."

Something flickered across her face. Not fear. Not relief. Just... irritation.

She snapped the book shut, the sound cutting through the quiet like a knife. Then, without missing a beat, she set it aside like she was already done with this conversation.

"Mari, it's none of your business," she said, her voice clipped, dismissive.

I blinked. The words hit harder than I expected, like she had just reached inside me and flicked a switch I didn't know was there.

I frowned. "None of my business? Are you serious?"

She stood, crossing her arms, her whole posture stiff, defensive. "I don't owe you an explanation."

A scoff slipped past my lips before I could stop it. "Oh, right, because it's totally normal for my sister to be in love with a vampire. And for Jacob to be—" I cut myself off, my stomach twisting. My pulse pounded in my ears as I thought of Jacob, the way his voice had dropped into something so solemn when he told me the truth. "God, Bella, do you even hear yourself?"

She let out a sharp breath, shaking her head. "You don't understand."

"You're right," I snapped, something hot and bitter rising in my throat. "I don't. But I'm trying. And maybe, just maybe, I expected you to trust me a little."

Her jaw tightened, and for a second, I thought I saw something crack in her expression—some sliver of regret, of hesitation. But then she pressed her fingers to her temple, like I was the problem. Like I was the one making this difficult.

"Mari, I don't have the energy for this."

A humorless laugh bubbled out of me before I could stop it. "Yeah. Of course, you don't."

I turned on my heel, walking straight to my bedroom before she could say anything else. I shut the door behind me with a little more force than necessary, the sound echoing through the house.

And then I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling.

I barely slept.

My mind wouldn't let me.

Every time I closed my eyes, I heard Jacob's voice again, the certainty in it, the weight of it. He had told me the truth like it was something solid, something unshakable. But it shook me.

And then there was Bella.

Her words gnawed at me, sharp and dismissive, like I was just some naive little sister who had no right to be involved. But how could I not be involved? How was I supposed to just sit back and pretend I didn't know the truth now?

I tossed and turned, my blankets tangling around me, my body restless and exhausted all at once. My clock blinked back at me, the numbers glowing in the dark.

2:13 AM.

Screw it.

I pushed the covers off and slipped out of bed, my feet moving on autopilot. I wasn't even sure what I wanted—maybe just to talk to Bella again, to try to get through to her when there wasn't a wall between us.

But the second I reached her doorway, I froze.

Jacob was standing there.

And Bella... Bella was too close.

Her face was tilted up toward him, her breath uneven, her lips slightly parted. And Jacob—Jacob wasn't pulling away. His hand brushed against her arm, his expression soft, hesitant, caught in a moment he shouldn't have been caught in.

My stomach twisted violently.

I knew what this was.

I knew what almost-kisses looked like.

Bella suddenly jerked back, like she had been yanked out of a trance. She took a small, shaky step away. Jacob blinked, looking like he was waking up from something.

And then, slowly, her eyes flickered toward me.

For a long, stretched second, no one moved.

Something cold settled in my stomach. I forced my lips into an awkward, watery smile and took a step back, like I could pretend I hadn't just seen what I saw.

"I—uh. I shouldn't be here. I just came to talk to Bella..." I mumbled.

Bella's jaw clenched, and she looked away. But Jacob—he hesitated. And then, without thinking twice, he turned and followed me.

"Jake," Bella called softly. "I'll be right here."

I squeezed my eyes shut for half a second.

Jacob stopped like he was considering staying. But after a brief pause, he stepped into my room.

I sat on the edge of my bed, staring at my hands while Jacob stood there, shifting uncomfortably.

"That wasn't what it looked like," he said finally.

I let out a short, breathless laugh. "Oh, no. I think it was exactly what it looked like."

Jacob exhaled heavily. "It's... complicated, Mari."

Something inside me snapped.

"Oh my God, can you stop saying that?" My voice cracked, but I didn't care. "It's not complicated, Jacob! It's actually really, really simple! You love her. She loves him."

Jacob's brows pulled together, like he didn't want to hear it.

"I—"

"No," I cut him off. "You don't have to explain. I get it. I always have."

And that was the moment I said it.

"I love you, Jacob."

His entire body went still.

I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "I have for years. And I didn't want to ruin anything, I didn't even expect anything, but I just—I had to say it. At least once."

The silence that followed was deafening.

And then, after what felt like forever, Jacob let out a quiet, almost confused laugh.

"Mari..."

I smiled, but it wobbled. "Yeah, yeah. I know. You love my sister."

I stood. "You should go back to her."

Jacob hesitated, like he wanted to fix this. But there was nothing to fix.

I forced a nod. "Go," I said quietly.

And after a long pause, he did.