Boyfriend

The ongoing ringtone coming from my phone makes me turn around once again, pulling the covers over my head. Wait! Here it goes, silence! I pull the cover back down and gift myself with a couple more minutes of sleep.

'What? What?!' I throw everything off of me and sit up as quickly as possible as my phone starts going off again.

'What do you want from me?' I manage to find the phone, on the floor and as it seems, Jenny has got some really important stuff to inform me with.

'I hate you.' I  groan as soon as her voice filled my earbuds.

'You are going to hate me even more then.' What now? I pull the tie out of my hair, God I tightened it so much last night, that I actually might have given myself a headache.

'I doubt that.' I stand up and look out of the window. The whole city is grey, covered in fog, making me feel like I'm looking over the clouds. Like I'm looking down on all the mess, all the tensions that are building up in this messed up time.

'Open our messages.' She instructs me to look at the messages she sent me while she can clearly tell me everything over the phone?

'You confuse me.' I swipe up and open the messages without breaking the line with her. Fucking hell!

'Are you kidding me? 37?' I scroll to the beginning and immediately regret even waking up to look at this.

'El are you there?' I scroll down, opening every article she sent me. There are so many!

'I might suffocate!' I try walking up and down the room as my heart starts beating as fast as it can at 7 in the morning.

'What the fuck is this?!' After those articles, pictures started popping out. How on earth are there so many?

'Hey El, listen to me.' All of a sudden Louis talks over the phone, making me feel even worse. I feel as if I've done something! As if I did something so terrible it could haunt me for life!

'Those things happen, but everyone knows that they exaggerate every fucking piece of information that they get.' I nod with my head as if they can see me. 'Don't worry, they can't hurt you okay?' How is he so good with this? Well, you bitch! What a stupid fucking question!

'I know, I just got overwhelmed, that's all.' I sit on the floor, pressing my back on the bed as my breathing starts slowing down.

'Are you feeling better?' Jenny asks and even if I might still feel completely faded, I'll manage.

'I'm fine, it just made me scared for a second, but it's okay now.'

I hang up the phone and go back to those pictures. They took about a hundred of them with us on the field, they captured the moment where he lifted me up to take away the ball so perfectly. His smile captures everything that was felt at that moment. I'm not mad anymore about those pictures, they are showing something so beautiful. Proving me that even your greatest fear can't turn into your shelter, but people can. I was feeling safer there, with him, surrounded by thousands of people, thousands of cameras pointing at us,  then I felt at any point in my life.

My phone starts ringing and just like I thought, Jenny calls again, this time over facetime.

'You have to see this shit I can't even!' Her eyes are all red from laughing so hard. Her state confuses me, making me wonder what on Earth could be this time?

I open the link she sent me and it goes straight to youtube, do I even want to know?

'I'm going to screen record this shit so that I can have it forever!' She yells over the phone as I look at the video of me at the stadium along with Niall and Aaron. Oh, God!

'You showed them who's the real boss there, you go girl!'

'Fuck you! God, I had a good shot there didn't I?' I say and hear Jenny laugh even more as Louis joins our conversation.

'You sure did El.' He says and I can picture Jenny all red and out of breath next to him. I feel myself slowly relaxing, my mousles don't feel tense anymore but my head is still overwhelmed. 

They teased me for another 15 minutes, making sure that I was feeling okay but I had to hang up and get ready for the day. I'm leading the rehearsal dinner today and that requires some better clothes.

I decided to go with a dark blue jumpsuit that sits perfectly tight around my body, the back is fully open but from the front, it looks classy and refined. My left arm is fully naked but the silky fabric hugs my right hand, covering it completely. A thin, cream-coloured belt hugs my waist, holding this look together as the shade of my heels fit in with the cream colour perfectly. I curled my hair slightly just to give it some volume and all of a sudden I feel weird. I feel excited, what? I'm never nervous about rehearsal dinners. Oh, God! He does make me feel 14 again. Every time I'm about to see him I get this nervous feeling that I can't get rid of.

'He is my friend, I see my friends all the time and I feel okay.' I say to myself while looking at the mirror. Nice I started talking to myself!

The phone in my room rings, that is strange they never call me over that phone.

'Hello?'

'Miss Eleanor?' God, what do they want now!

'The security would like to talk to you about something could you come down please?' What? I didn't do anything.

'Okay, I'm down in 5, thank you.' I hang up the phone and search for my purse and the hotel key. Niall is going to be here any minute now anyway so I can just stay downstairs.

I can practically hear the people from outside of the hotel yelling as they comprehended my appearance. As I reached the doors I could hear a couple of them yell my name but I ignored it and just walked away. I keep replaying Louis's words in my head to just ignore it, they can't hurt me, but as soon as I walked to the entry, something inside of me froze. All those people fighting to get in, screaming my name as my presence reached their sight makes me shiver. Makes my breath heavy and my head dazed.

'You okay?' Someone touches my bare arm with its hand making me flinch out of that moment of fright.

His eyes seem darker when he's inside, they look tired, but still full of life. How is that even possible? I look at him, at his eyes which look down at mine, calling them as if they need each other. I close my eyes and just let this feeling of need overcome me. I take a step forward, with my arms wide open, hugging him as hard as I can without hurting him. His hands don't comprehend the ongoing actions but soon enough, they surround me. His hand collides with my skin, leaving thin marks after each stroke he makes with it. With each move, those lines start burning, turning into tiny explosions all over my back. The fireworks fade away, leaving nothing but the warmth and that comforting feeling of safety. I don't know what it is with that but every single time, when we feel warm we know it's safe. Unless we got o hell, that one will be our fault!

I can feel my heartbeat slowing down, my breath becomes lighter and my worries fade away. I find myself exhaling truly as if a rock has been lifted off my shoulders.

'Just think of your happy place.' He says into my ear, without an explanation for my action. I never had a happy place. Somehow, before, nothing ever happened to make me feel happy enough. That's a lie. My body moves away, as a cold shiver spread cross my legs to my arms leaving me cold, afraid and not ready to look back at happy times.

'I know.' I look down at my feet and realize that he's wearing a suit? I look up and catch him in his dark blue edition, with a white shirt and that dashing hairstyle making my legs weak.

'What's with the suit?' I tease him but the truth is that he looks good as hell!

'I have a thing later on to attend, so..' He gives me a little twirl and presents himself quite good I must admit.

'A lovely little number you got there, but could you go to the terrace, Jeremy will show you our table I have to deal with something for a moment.' I say and smile at him before I make my way to the front desk.

'Can you tell the head of security that I arrived?' I ask the receptionist and he nods politely.

'That won't be necessary.' A man comes closer to us and let me tell you he is some good looking fellow. He looks decisive, strong and almost dangerous but as soon as he smiles all that goes away.

'Miss Eleanor?' Oh God, I forgot he was standing there I got caught up in his muscles that are seeable through his suit.

'Yeas sorry, got a lot on my mind.' I say and try not to die from embarrassment.

'I suppose that you already know why I called you, there have been some people trying to reach you but I guess for the wrong reasons. I need your permission on who can reach you so that we don't get any misunderstanding or chaotic scenes.' I never thought that our pictures in the media would influence such big things.

'Yeah, of course, I will report whenever someone needs to meet me that day and no one else will be able to do so, thank you for your concern.' I say.

'Your boyfriend will be welcome all the time you should not worry about that and your privacy will be safe here with us.' What the hell?

'If you are talking about Niall, he isn't my boyfriend.' Telling this out loud made me think back for a second. Even if I don't have any reason to feel guilty about saying this, I still do. 

'Sorry my mistake, anyway your safety comes first. If you will excuse me.' His green eyes look right through me, before he decides to look down and upon me. His mouth forms into a smile as his looks show me his intentions. Okay, what happened right now? Did he just wink at me? He turned around, making me look at him all confused, and just then he looked back. His hand in one pocket, and the other holding those files, making me confused. He smiles to himself before continuing his way. What on Earth?

'Is there something else I can help you with Miss?' I snap the hell out and look at the boy sitting behind the desk. Is he teasing me right now? I can't put my finger on it, but maybe he just had a bad day so far.

'No, thank you.' I narrow my eyes before turning around and making my way to the terrace. I have never seen this man before, in this hotel or anywhere near it for that fact.

'Excuse me miss.' What! I almost collide with Jeremy as he's walking back after I sent him to seat Niall. 

'God, Jeremy! I'm so sorry.' I put my hand on his shoulder while I pull back the hair as it has fallen on my face.

'No need for apologies Miss, that way.' He steps aside showing me the way. I feel so stupid and disoriented.

I spot Niall sitting there in his white shirt, wearing his sunnies and looking as beautiful as always something different overcomes me. No matter how many good looking guys I will see in my life there is only one that will take me out of breath just by his sight, his voice or the way he looks at everything. The way his eyes narrow as he's trying to understand something or the way he looks full of wonder while learning something new. 

'Missed me?'He disturbs my daydreaming with his heavenly voice while taking down his glasses and showing me how beautiful someone can be with just the way they smile.

'Always.' Oh if only he wasn't kidding. I pull out the chair and sit opposite him. We got a couple of stares while I sat down but nothing major. People do act refined here.

'Did you see our new beloved pictures?' I try not to laugh as I say that. It is still so funny to me the fact that now I'm the one who gets photographed with him.

'I do think that the pictures turned out so much better than the last time.' I say and open the menu.

'Especially the one where you touched my ass.' He says and gives me the look.

'We should get that one framed.' I say and continue to seem serious.

'I already did!' He acts shocked by our similar thoughts.

'How lovely.' I look at him and put the menu down. He looks up and we just smile there starting at each other. How can something so strange feel so normal? I met him what? Like a week ago? Okay, not really but time with him feels endless like I've known him forever like I'll be able to know him for the rest of our time.

'What is going to be your order?' The waitress comes by and tries not to act surprised at Niall Horan sitting here at 9 am. Regardless, she takes our orders and walks away in a hurry.

'So you don't mind all this fuss that's been going around about us being seen together?' He puts up an all serious face.

'Look I told you, I'm okay with that. Yes it is scary, yes it is frustrating but I think that our friendship is worth the risk.' He gets caught off guard.

'I have to tell you something on that note.' I try to be brave and just say it.

'We will be free from the me-' Just when I try to be brave, to do the right thing for once someone's presence shakes me up. I can't help but stop every thought, every movement or word. I stand up before it's too late.

'I'll be back in just a second, just please wait.' I beg him to tolerate me for this mess but I can't even help it. I make my way through the doors and onto the front desk.

'What now?' I stand behind him, knowing that he already got enough information about my stay or anything going on with Niall. 

'I will always find you for some unfinished business never forget that.' I hate myself for not going to him, for not talking when I should but I thought that I made the situation better. Clearly not!

'Adam just do-' His face straightens up as someone walks to us. I just can't take any more surprises right now. I turn to the side slowly, seeing way too familiar suit making it's way to us. 

'I'll find you again.' Adam leans in, whispering those words into my ear making me sick. Making me want to puke right now, right here! I close my eyes from disgust as the goosebumps appear over my skin. He disappears as soon as Niall walks to me.

'El, what happened?' He takes my hand into his, nullifying every trouble that was concerning me.

'Nothing, Adam just needed some private files for something important.' I make up a lie in 0,5 seconds and just try looking convincing enough. He is watching me, everything on me as if he's looking to find something wrong, something broken. 'The next event is huge so he is taking care of it personally.' I convince him further. 

'Well, that makes sense. Listen I'm really sorry but I have to go, I have an interview in half an hour, can't miss that.' I smile at his worry. He is generally concerned that I won't understand what he does.

'Well, you'll make up for it eventually.' His dimple appears as a smile spread across his face. We both know that there isn't anything funny about this, rather amusing.

'Only if you let me.' This time, his eyes light up, his words spread tensions through my veins, making its way to my spine. How can someone's words do so much? I try looking around, pretending as if I didn't feel whatever is going on right now. 

'Have a good day Eleanor.' God damn it. I look up at him as he starts walking tot he exit. I find myself uncontrollably smiling. Why am I like this? Before I could stop myself, he turns around before exiting, giving me one more look, one more reason to feel completely embarrassed. I cover my face with my hand as the sweet hint of realization reaches me. I'm just way too deep into this.

*4 hours later*

'Miss, they are here.' My daydreaming has to stop. I have to do so much tonight when in reality the only thing that I would want right now is being in Niall's arms, watching good shows and just talking, joking around, just to be there with him.

I greet each guest individually and show them the way to their table trying to focus as much as possible.

'El?!' I almost dropped my notes for the sitting arrangements as Liam walked up to me just when I thought that we are done with all the guests.

'Liam hey!' I give him a huge smile and an even bigger hug.

'I haven't even thought about the possibility that you organized this.' If someone would have to describe him in one word it would be nice. Not in a bad, sarcastic way. He simply is the nicest person I have ever met. Yes, he does tease me but he does it kindly.

'Yeah, the last one is a big one.' I Did not intend to say that.

'What? Why the last one?' Nice way to go El!

'I'm leaving on Monday.' His face gets serious and stiff.

'You are leaving, what? When are you coming back?' I wish I would know the answer to that question.

'I don't know, not in a while, I guess..' All of a sudden I feel sad, even more than I did before. Seeing each person react to me leaving gets to me every time more and more deeply.

'But you can't, I mean what about Niall?' My eyes widen as those words leave his lips. I try to find some words and form them into a sentence but fail majorly.

'I know about you, and I know more than you both do.' Could this be?

'Things happen, but we managed it nicely. We are friends and so it will be.' I say trying to convince myself into those words more than him.

'He won't do anything if he thinks that this, in fact, is what you want.' I don't know what I want anymore.

'He wouldn't do it anyway, we go along perfectly ass friends. It is best if it stays that way.' Even now, when I heard those words from Liam, I can't believe in them. I'm scared that once I start to believe in them, they will make me vulnerable. 

'Are you sure?' He puts his hand on my arm as a comforting gesture. I look at him and for a moment I want to say no, but once again I have to decide what is best for the two of us. Even when he is the only good thing that has ever happened in my life and made such a huge impact on it, we are better off as friends.

'Yes, I'm positive.'

*2 hours later*

'A glass of your finest.' I sit my ass down on the bar at the hotel. I know it's 6 pm and that it's still early but thankfully, it's never too early for a drink.

'Thank you.' I move the glass closer to me as the bartender presents it to me so nicely. 

After the talk with Liam, something has been messed up in there, in my head. I know that this is a good story material, he is Niall Horan and I'm just me, but I know that it ain't gonna work! I just can't get that fucking stupid sentence out of my head. Liam talks to me with ease, as if we're long known friends, everyone is so nice to me, it makes me frightened. I know better than that. I know that once things get good, it's about to be ten times worse. I don't want them having any issues! They are doing so great back together and Niall, God! He deserves the World. 

'Day drinking are we now?' Oh for fuck's sake! Even if he isn't the person around me anymore, I could never forget this voice. I don't bother looking at him, I know damn well that he will continue to tease me. Even if I left him standing at the hallway couple of days ago, I know that it meant nothing to him. That's the thing with us. We knew so much but felt so little.

'Trying to survive.' He used to know me like this so seeing it isn't as surprising to him as it might be to Jenny or Niall. They both happen to occupy my mind every day but I can't handle the thought of them knowing why I'm reaching for such desperate actions. 'But what are you doing?' Usually, other people come to him. What happened?

'I'm out of a meeting.' He straightens out his vest along with his suit. Yes, he does wear only suits, well most of the time, but he has so much more behind all that. 

'But how is Jenny doing? I heard her mom got out of-' My whole body reacts to his words and turns around automatically, making a huge mess. I shed my glass and the whole bar gets soaked along with my pants. Fuck!

'How the fuck do you know about that?' I can feel anger blending in with the alcohol that runs through my blood. Even if I wanted to know the answer, I knew I had to get to that son of a bitch as fast as I could. I take my bag and run out of there leaving Chuck once again with some questions but don't you worry, I'll be back for more.

I try to start the car but fail to put my key into the keyhole. After several attempts, I get going. Even if the street looks, fogy. The anger makes it all clearer. I park the car outside the restaurant and just leave it unlocked. I can't bother right now.

I storm inside and take a good look around. Where is this fuck? I spot him smiling with his hand around a tall, blond woman that seems way too friendly around him. I concentrate on my breathing. I look right at him, not hiding it. I look at him directly, letting him know that now, it's over. My legs start walking by themselves, I didn't even realize that I'm already two feet away from him. He looks at me and his smile drops. Don't you fucking dare pulling some shit right now! Even if I would love to beat the shit out of him and tell him everything that is going on right now, I have to think about the fact that he's well known and that this shit could come in some news. He excuses himself to that woman and makes his way to me, not sparing a damn minute. I'm glad that he knows that there is no time left for him. I'm done!

He grabs my hand roughly and drags me with him. I shake him off and stay silent. Even if I'm feeling like I'm made of anger, I'm smarter than that. He opens the door to his office and I follow along. I shut the doors and throw my purse to the ground.

'Why do people know about Julie?' He seems confused but I know damn well that he knows everything.

'I see you went to see Chuck.' He represents everything I despise in a person. He makes me sick just by looking at him. By owning so many material things, he thinks he owns every single person that has something to do with him.

'Don't you fucking dare! Talk you piece of sh-' He walks to me. His hands form into fists and with that, I know that nothing could change the outcome of this conversation.

'Julie is all better now, and she will be coming to see Jenny in two weeks.' I haven't expected such turn in events.

'And you.' He loosens his grip and takes one more step towards me. He tries touching my hair but I move quickly. My face feels scared but at the same time filled with anger. If looks could kill, I could have already buried him.

'You will play along, as we said. If you do so. Jenny will have a pleasant life and you won't have to worry about a thing.' How could I let him do this again? I close my eyes and take a deep breath. Fuck! 'But if you don't. You might as well pack your bags and move along with Jenny because your life here or in the States is over.' I pick up the bag from the ground and take one last look at him.

'One day, you will lose and you'll be sorry for everything you ever did!' I take a moment to look at him with disgust because as of this moment or any previous one, he could never give me any other feeling. I turn around and slam the doors like he slammed my life that night, shattering it into pieces that will never have a perfect fit again.