Pubs and mates

I closed the door and couldn't help but hear the music all the way from, from the house?

'What is this place?' He puts the phone in his pocket as he closes the car doors. His smile makes all of this seem normal even if nothing is. He looks around and takes a step back, taking it all in. So I follow and do the same. I stand next to him and observe it all. The huge property is surrounded by tall trees swinging from one side to another. Sights like this, only get to be seen in movies. The wind found its way through those branches, moving them away, forcing them to dance. Some melodies are reaching us from the far. Maybe they aren't that far away but the wind makes them travel in the weirdest directions possible. One moment the front bits of my hair are floating in the air and the other they stick across my face. With music, it's the same. I only get to hear some bits of it but still, I feel peace. Those fields are hard to see right now but as far as my sight reaches, they make me feel free. I feel like no one is going to hurt me here, like I'm on the other side of the world, far away from everyone, everything, from the truth. I feel like this place gives me possibilities, it gives me time to close my eyes and just breathe. It tells you, calm the fuck down, listen to the wind, listen to yourself! People get scared by peace because of the fear that they'd hear those thoughts we all try to hide from ourselves, but to know what we need, we have to listen.

I look at him and realize that he probably feels the same about this place. He seems more himself just by being here. I never thought someone could feel connected to a place, not like this but one more time he proved me wrong. Even if this feels right, something inside of me is telling me to end this trip and just never see him again but once again my mouth came first.

'This is giving me some Dirty dancing vibes.' My words made him snap out of his little moment as his eyes meet mine. Even if I don't look at his lips, his eyes are telling me that he's smiling right now.

'What exactly? The golf club or the music?' I knew this was some kind of club!

'Actually, this guy carried a watermelon inside, like 2 minutes ago.' I love the fact that he's thinking about it.

'I don't even think that they have them here but I'll have to believe you. Now, let's go.'

'Are you going to play golf, like in this hour?' My mind came up with some ideas of why we're here but the only reasonable explanation would be to, well to play?

'Even if that option came to my mind earlier, it left and something else came up.'  He opens the huge doors that lead us into something I would have never pictured here. The whole house is overseeing the field and the lake. There are about thousands of lights across the ceiling which lights up the dancers on the floor. I didn't even know that places like this existed. Everyone is so peaceful. Partners lean on each other as they dance to the songs that make my body tingle in the best way possible. There are girls in short flowy dresses, they look classy, not sassy. It's refreshing to see something like this.

'Now, I know I'm not quite like Johnny, more like Baby but if you'll give me the honour?' He reaches his hand out as he proposes for a dance. I can't stop my lips from forming into a smile as I put my hand on his.

'How did you know about this?' I look around searching for the right word to call this.. event?

'I'm a member of this club, I come to these once in a while when I get a chance and sing to them.' There's something about Ireland that I'll never reckon.

'I thought Ireland was all about pubs and mates, all drinking and fun but I have never imagined this.' My words make him laugh which makes me foolishly laugh along. The way his dimples appear when he smiles make me lost in his beauty.

'I have never taken part in something this lovely and calming.' I say and put my head back on his shoulder, brushing my face against his neck lightly, making us both feel it and I know it. His grip tightens just as mine does all this time. I used to get rushes like this, mostly it was adrenaline but now, I get like this because it's something new. Something I thought I was banned from feeling but tonight proved me wrong. Even if it's new for me, it's not for him. He's done this before and it can't possibly leave the same mark on him as it did on me.

Why do I even think about it this much?

'Niall dear, I didn't know you were coming today.' A girl breaks us apart making me snap out of every single thought I just enjoyed having. What is her problem?

'Hey, Ema!' Niall seemed confused at first but now he's all over her, nice! She looks at me with her picture-perfect blue eyes as her golden hair bounces off her shoulders leaving almost every single person in this room amazed. Fuck no, I'm not doing this again! I guess the whole moment is kind of over now and it's time for me to drive the fuck off!

'Yeah, I wasn't supposed to come here but I thought my friend Eleanor might like it.' He looks at me and that bitch just got slapped so nicely it hurts to see her face blank like that. Regardless of her expression she pulls out her best smile and acts as if she likes the fact that he's here with me.

'Of course, you are so considerable. You wouldn't mind if I steal him for 5 minutes so that he could gift us with his beautiful voice tonight?' Why would I mind, it's not like we're together. Her blue deviled eyes cut through me and I can feel it. It's the devil herself!

'A gift like that is meant to be enjoyed.' I say and smile at both of them. I don't know what she's trying to do but I just met him like a day or two ago and I'm the last person to suspect something from.

'I'll be right up.' Niall says to her and turns to me. He seems annoyed but I know that he wants to sing, he loves it and entertaining people is something he does. I want to hear him sing myself too.

'Excuse her, she can be rude sometimes but she's actually nice.' I pull back my hair and look at her directly. I can feel myself becoming like that again. My face is blank but my eyes are on fire. Even if my mouth might be smiling, my eyes aren't.

'I can handle her.' He looks at me and I can see that he's surprised to see me like this but the truth is, he doesn't know me and he never will. All this time I've pulled out my blank face for everybody new that I meet, but he is the first person that I haven't had the urge to do so. He walks up to the band and everyone starts cheering and let me tell you, even I can feel the welcoming feeling that they are giving to him. They do love him.

'Oh, dear! Where has he gone!' I turn around and spot a tiny little woman standing behind me, with her grey hair and a stick in her hand to help her walk. She looks confused and lost even though she might be coming here for years.

'May I help you, Mam?' I put my hand on her shoulder so I could get her attention faster.

'Oh sugar, have you seen mister Jackson?' I don't know what to say.

'I'm so sorry, I'm here for the first time and I don't know anyone here.' She takes my hand in hers and her gesture makes my heart melt. She seems so helpless.

'It's okay sugar, I'm just looking for my husband, I hope he is okay. He had some heart problems in these past few weeks so I have to keep an eye on him these days.'

'Let me find him, I'll go around and ask people if they saw him, okay you just sit here and I'll be right back.' I assure her and make her seat on the empty seat next to us. How am I supposed to ask?

I go around and ask a few people that seem like they've been coming here more often, maybe they know them.  I get to the bar and ask them for help, as I said who I was looking for they looked at me as if I was supposed to know who that is.

'He is right there.' The guy with dark brown hair shows me the way. Mr Jackson is sitting outside on the steps. I rush out of there, he looks as if something's wrong.

'Are you okay?' I kneel next to him and realize that he's just been staring at those beautiful fields in front of him.

'Who are you?' He seems scarier than that woman inside.

'I'm Eleanor Sir., your wife asked me to find you, she is worried.' His face loosens up as his eyes become heavier.

'I haven't seen you before, is this your first time here?' I nod with my head, still down on my knees.

'That's such a shame my darling.' What is that supposed to mean?

'No, I love it here this is a place that anyone would want to come back to!' I assure him of that, knowing damn well that this night could never be forgotten.

'That's the thing, my dear, everything we hold in our heart, eventually comes to an end.' He tries to stand up but I reacted fast enough and offered him my hand for support.

'This night is the last dance that's being held by us.' Wait a minute, what does he mean by us?

'I just can't believe it that this' He looks around and then continues ' is coming to an end.'

'Someone once told me, if your heart has beaten as it has never before, then your heart shall never forget those highest moments, the lowest and most miserable memories fade with time but the important ones never could.' I join him and look at it all. The sun is starting to rise and the whole area is surrounded by the golden light coming from the sun.

'I believe that if you love something that much, you could never really lose it. It's always with you.'

'You should listen to her.' He scared the shit out of me! I turn around and spot Niall on top of the stairs with the lady that sent me to find her husband.

'O honey you are fine!' The lady walks down to her husband and hugs him immediately. I wonder for how long have they been together. If they are together since their young age then that's a hell of a time!

'Oh, Catherine I'm fine. Eleanor was giving me some company and she reminded me of us when we had our first dance right here, 43 years ago.' Oh shit! They really are together for a long ass time!

'What a time that was, I knew that once I set my foot here, I wanted to dance with you on this dance floor every day for the rest of our lives.' I think that my heart is going to melt. Niall stands still admiring their pure happiness and the love that they have for each other.

'I think that now it's time for our last dance.' He takes her hand in his and leads her to the dance floor.

'You two should join us, and that is not a request, it's a demand.' Niall smiles at them but then he turns to me with his hand up in the air waiting for mine as a green light for the dancefloor. His hair looks lighter than usual, maybe it's the sun that is coming out or the fact that I'm tired as hell, but no man has ever looked this good in my life! We step on the floor and everyone stops what they are doing as they look at us applauding them as a sign of celebration of the success over the years, not just in this business but in their love. Niall pulls me gently by my waist, making us close but yet not too close. A slow, beautiful melody fills the room, which is my first time hearing it. I don't even know it but I feel a strong connection to it. Maybe it's the song or Niall's presence but something makes me feel. I don't know what it is but I feel something so differently but yet so comforting.

*It's not that we're scared It's just that it's delicate* I look up and find him already looking down to me.

I want to tell him to go home and just forget about all of this, but the only thing my body manages to do is smile, leaning my head on his shoulder, singing myself up for guaranteed self-destruction. The way his cologne melts in with the warmth of his skin makes my stomach nauseous. The way his grip tightens each time I drift away, making us close again, my grip tightens around his hand as I feel the shiver evolving from my stomach, through my chest to the tip of my fingers. I don't even know if I should be scared of this man and his impact on me or if I should feel safe around him. How do I know if this is good? Every time something new happens ends badly but somehow I know that he is the good one.

Before I could realize it, they were taking pictures of us dancing and I can't help it but panic a little, not even sure why. I decide to ignore it and soak up these last few seconds of this place, this feeling and all these nice people that are surrounding us. I close my eyes and lean my head on his shoulder. His chest feels better than my bed after a long day, his hands feel softer than the roses that grow outside of this sunroom, his eyes look colder than ice but they are field with warmth like no other I've felt before. Maybe it's the champagne or the lack of sleep, but right now there is nothing I would rather do than to be here, with him. I know I said to Mr Jackson that if you love something it never goes away, but what obligees to people that we can't possibly love in such a short period?

'Thank you for making this night special.' My body snaps out of the bubble that it's been this whole time. I turn around and see Catherine standing right by our side, taking Niall's hand into her's.

'You can't take credit for something that is already perfect on its own.' I smile at her, while Niall's words made her eyes tear up before he kisses her on the cheek as a goodbye.

'Maybe, but you sure can be perfect together.' She looks up at him before her eyes come searching for mine. Wait, what? What did she mean by that? She turns around and leaves us both standing, wondering if what she has said was true. My mind goes back to the song that was playing just now. It's true, more than anything, we fear of being torn down to pieces, but how can you break something that was never fixed? Yes, it's a cliche but it's true. I look at Niall and I see everything I could need in my life, hope, kindness, friendship maybe even.. I better don't try thinking of it. Yes, I am scared, but not from being broken, I'm frightened from becoming fragile again. He could make me that way, I know it and now, more than ever, I realize that being with him would make me perfectly delicate and perfect for one last breakage before it all falls to an end. I'm not ready to do it all over again because no one can stay complete, even when some of us never were.