Fears and feelings

Kaaki sat by her bedside glaring while they both hung their heads down.

"Sindhu, I'm shifting you to my room."

She looked up at Kaaki. He unknowingly did the same. Then she turned to face him as he spoke up."Kaaki, we don't need to-"

"I think we do need it. Your Kaka can shift to Tapesh's room, who will shift in here."

Sindhuja tried to speak. "Kaaki I'm fine, we don't need to cause all this hassle..."

"I did not ask you Sindhu. Keep quiet."

"But she has her medicines, her bandages all done here... And then if she wakes up in the night-"

"I'll look after it Felu, don't worry. And you are allowed to come to my room to meet her and change her bandage and all."

"Kaaki but-"

"There's no ifs and buts. This is final."

Sindhuja tried to talk again. "I'll be sensible henceforth Kaaki... Please..."

He concurred. "Me too."

Kaaki however did not budge. "I think I made it clear that I told you about shifting Sindhu. Not ask you."And then she left the room.

He turned to Sindhuja.

"This is really bad."

"I know..."

"If you hadn't forced me yesterday!..."

"If you had been a little more alert today morning!" she gave his jibe back.

He sighed. "Alright, there's no point fighting. We need to find a way to convince her."

"Do you think it's possible?"

"There's very less chances of it. Unless Kaka intervenes."

She widened her eyes. "What are you going to tell Kaka when he'll ask why she decided this?"

He stopped for a moment. Then his voice mellowed down. "Exactly. We can't get his help."

"Hmm."

"What then...." His mogojastro was skimming through different ways Kaaki has been appealed before and searching for more ideas...

He told them to her, but they found a downside for each way.

"I don't think we can do anything about it." She said somewhat tired.

He paused. "What?"

"I don't think it's possible to convince Kaaki right now, let's give this up. I'll stay in her room for some days..."

His face changed. "W-What do you mean you'll stay there? How will you stay?!"

She opened her mouth to speak, but he ignored it and continued."I look after your bandage-dressing and medicines... How are you going to sleep without reading that book here, or writing in your diary? Who'll calm you down after you wake up from a bad dream? It's impossible Sindhuja..."

She was surprised by this sudden outburst he was having. "I... I mean, I'll be in the same house; it's manageable, Mitter babu..."

"No Sindhu, it's not-"

"Kaaki said you can still come to give me medicines and dressing, and I can take the books and diary with me-"

"But why do you want to go!"

"Because it's necessary-"

"It's not!"

"Listen, I'll just be going for a few-"

"I DON'T WANT YOU GONE ANYWHERE!" That shadow in his eyes again.

The only sound filling the room was his heavy breath after snapping.

He ran a quick hand through his hair. "I- I didn't mean to shout at you... Sorry..."

Ignoring the apology, she looked straight at him. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm sorry Sindhu, I just..."

"You just what? Why are you getting angry and panicked so quickly these days? You were never like this Mitter babu; not even in the most difficult cases... What's bothering you so much?!"

He didn't look at her. "I- I just think I'm still stressed about the case and, well, about you..."

"No you're not. It's something else... What is it?" She put a hand on his cheek; and even though it was quite small to cup his face, it made him take down the defense that he had been putting up against her questions.

She lifted her brows up asking him to speak.

He sighed again, and were his eyes... Shining at the bottom?"I- I need you here." His voice came frail and little.

"But I'm still going to be near you."

"No, I need you here in front of me, around me... With me. I can't afford to lose you Sindhu, not even for a moment!... I need to make sure you're alright.

When I saw you lying in all the blood that day, I was shaken from inside. Stills from that time haunt my mind even today. And then, when you didn't get up for two days after the surgery, I was so scared... I thought you had gone away too; like... like my parents did."

"Oh, Mitter babu..." She wiped a tear rolling down his cheek with her thumb.

"I've faced the death of my loved ones once in life, and I'm not ready for that again... I don't want to be shattered and broken a second time, Sindhuja. I wouldn't survive it." He choked on his own words.

She stayed quiet waiting for him to calm down and speak again, which he did. "I never let you go away anywhere, or even to your father's house for long; because I always had this fear at the back of my mind... The fear of you leaving me... And now after all this, I trust no one with you. No one."

He couldn't speak more, and she didn't force him to. Instead, she pulled him in a warm embrace, running her fingers through his black hair as he locked his arms around tight like someone was going to snatch her away from him.She comforted him whispering, "It's okay... It's okay... I'm here..."

He remembered these words as what he had said to her only last night. How fast the night changes...

She separated from him but locked hands with his. "I am here with you, see! There's no reason to be afraid."

"Really? You won't go anywhere?"

"Nope."

"Never?"

She rolled her eyes dramatically. "Good idea... But where will I go? Even if I do, you'll find me wherever I hide, isn't it, Private investigator?! Oh, I know... name it The case of my runaway wife!"

He frowned. "Sindhuja stop joking! I'm serious!"

She raised an eyebrow. "How much we've reversed our roles today! I'm the one being sarcastic and you're the sentimental one... This feels so weird..."

"Sindhu!"

"Come on, how much ever I enjoy being the continuous center of your attention for a change, I am sick of this excessively caring you. Where's my carefree, badass sleuth of a husband? My... What was it?... Yeah, Sherlock! Where'd my Sondesh-loving Indian Sherlock go?!"

He looked down. "I left him far behind the day I realised my Sindhu needed a husband more than a Sherlock. Which I failed to give her."

"Nope. I only ever needed the Felu Mitter, as he is. The man I love."

"The man who hurt you."

"The man I've forgiven."

He lifted his gaze up and blinked. "What?"

She gave a little smile and nodded. "I forgive you."

Still looking at her in disbelief, he asked. "Really?"

"M-hmm. As I say, I've never been able to stay mad at you for long."

He didn't know what to say for a moment. "...Thank you, sweetheart! Thank you so much!..."

He broke out into a grin and hugged her again, this time less tighter; which meant that he felt light-hearted now.

He slowly asked into her hair, "You would never leave me, right Sindhu?"

But her face below crumpled. She knew what was happening to her. She knew she had much lesser time than never.

"Never... I'll always be there for you; Hm?"Not maybe in person, but in every other way possible.

"Hmm."