The Long and Winding Road

A/N - I just want to say a quick thank you to THICCBIH69420 for reading my fic !! I really appreciate it and y'all should go read their Mclennon fics!! They're really amazing! :)

~ Paul's POV ~ 

"Look at the sunset, Paulie!" John said shaking me a bit.  I let go of John's waist and turned to look at the sunset. 

The sky was painted in soft colors. Yellow, orange, red, pink. It was beautiful.

"It's beautiful, ain't it Paulie.." John whispered. 

"Yeah.. it is." I whispered back. I noticed John turn to look at me, but I couldn't take my eyes off the sky. It was one of the most beautiful sunsets I'd ever seen.

"Paul.." John said quietly. I turned to look at him. He looked scared. Like he wanted to say something, but didn't feel he could. But then he sighed.

"I-I think I'm in love with you." John breathed out. 

What? H-he.. what? I couldn't get a single word out of my mouth. I couldn't process anything that was going on in my mind. It was like every second. Every breath. Every stare, was in slow motion. I didn't know what to do. 

That's when he lept forward. 

And he kissed me. 

I didn't kiss back. I couldn't. I didn't know how to feel.

Some part of me was excited and happy that he liked me too! He loved me even! 

But the other part was nervous, worried, and even scared. 

John broke the kiss and leaned back. I couldn't really read him, but I knew I couldn't do this. Not here, Not now. I felt bad. But I ran.

"I-I'm sorry Johnny. I-I just can't do this right now." I turned and ran.

John looked heartbroken. 

I can't believe I did that to him.

I'm sorry John. I just need time.

I walked the rest of the way home thinking. Why. why. why. why.

Why did he have to kiss me now? I mean I think I liked it. No I did like it. I just need time that's all. I really hope John will understand. I mean this all so confusing and weird for me. What will I tell my family? My dad will never accept it that's for sure. Mikey might though. Speaking of my dad.

I walked up to my house and stood on the porch. I sighed gently and grabbed the door knob and twisted it gentle, careful to be quiet. I opened the door slightly to see my dad sitting on the couch. I walked in slowly. I tried to not set him off. He was probably drunk off his ass right now.

"Where the hell were you?" My father asked harshly.

"I-I was at Strawberry Fields with John." I whispered.

"Ahh. So you stayed out past curfew to hang out with that John fella ey?" He asked.

I nodded slowly. 

"Well in that case, I never want to see you around that fucking boy again Paul." He respond angrily. 

"What?!" I stepped back.

"You heard me. You don't talk to him ever again or there will be consequences!" He yelled.

"I-I." I trembled. I ran up to room as fast as I could and slammed the door behind me.

"DON'T RUN AWAY FROM ME, YA LITTLE SHIT." My father yelled as he stormed up the stairs. He approached my door and slammed on it. "OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW" He screamed.

"D-Dad.. please stop." I started crying. I held my head in my hands and curled up in ball on my floor. "P-Please..." 

I fell asleep on the floor. Crying that night.

~ John's POV ~ 

I sat there. feeling like an idiot.

I kissed him. And I loved it. 

But Paul didn't. 

I knew he wouldn't feel the same, but I didn't think it would happen like this. I know I shouldn't. but I still love him. I hope he made it hope alright. 

I sighed. "Why are you such an idiot John?" I said out loud. "You could've had any bird, but nooooooo John, you had to be queer didn't you? You just had to fall in love with paul." 

I stood up and began to walk home. Mimi was probably wondering where I've gone. But I could care less at this point. As I walked home, I got out a ciggie and began to smoke. It usually helped relieve my stress, but now it didn't seem to have any effect on me. 

I finally got to my house and walked in. I expected get some yelling from Mimi, but I didn't even see her when I walked in. I bet she was asleep.

I walked upstairs and into my room. I fell onto my bed with sigh. Of course today went to shit. It could've gone amazing, but instead in usual Lennon style, went to shit. I could've left Strawberry Fields with Paul as my lover, or even just as a friend still. But now I fear I've lost him as a friend too. Besides who'd wanna be friends with a dirty queer right?

All I hope for now is that we can remain friends.

Sorry for the short chapter :(