7 - TRAGEDY

[ TRAGEDY ]

ANY NEEDED TRANSLATIONS WILL BE AT THE END OF THE CHAPTER IN THE AUTHOR NOTES.

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   "Miss me?" Sayah questions as she places some food in front of Murphy. He chuckles a bit, digging in without hesitation.

   "If that means 'worried I'd have a new guard', then sure." He replies. Murphy hoped she wouldn't pick up on the fact he was actually worried about her.

  "How is Lincoln?" He questions.

   "He's okay," She replies, taking a seat beside him. "The healers say it's not that bad of a wound, so. . ."

   "That's good." He nods. It goes silent.

   "I hoped the meeting would go well for many reasons," Sayah begins. Murphy didn't question her sudden change of topic. He liked talking to her, and listening to her, and he liked the way she would fidget with her fingers when she was thinking really deeply.

   "I hoped that eventually," She shifts in her spot. "One day, you and I will meet outside of this cave, where you're not chained up—"

   "No fun," Murphy pouts.

   "Let me finish," She rolls her eyes. He smiled involuntarily. Murphy couldn't deny it. There was something there. Something inside him which grew more and more each time they spoke and each time she looked at him and even each time she said his name.

   "We'll meet and we'll walk." She continues. "Wherever we want. And we won't have to worry about anything. No spears, no guns, no traps. We can just, talk, I guess. Even visit our ledge in daytime so you can see what it's like."

   Murphy hides his smile at how she used words "our" without hesitation. "We'll get that." Murphy tells her, meeting her eyes. "Someday." He nods slowly.

   "What makes you so sure?"

   Because I can feel it. Because I know that you and I are meant to have that. Because I know you want it as much as I do and I know that the world doesn't give us whatever we want, but at least it gave me you — even under these circumstances — and that's enough reason for me.

   "I just am." Is all he says.

   She stares at him, her eyes searching his. "I am too."

   Murphy swears he feels his previously forgotten cold, dead heart smash through his ribcage in that moment and he doesn't even have to ask when it came back alive again. He has a pretty good idea.

   "Thank you." He whispers.

   "What for?"

   "Everything."

   A part of him doesn't know what he means either. Who knew getting kidnapped might've been the best thing that ever happened to him?

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   Sayah never thought she'd meet someone like Murphy. Sayah never even thought she'd meet a someone. But now she understands how Lincoln feels.

   "It's tragic how. . ." Sayah begins. "How we've met, and it's been incredible," She admits and Murphy nods. "But everything, all of the conflict and the war—"

   "I know." Murphy nods, taking her hand in his. Sayah glances at it before looking back up at him. She wonders if he can hear her heart race faster.

   "But like I said, someday, we'll get our day," He rubs his thumb gently over her knuckles. Was she dreaming? This couldn't be real. "And it'll be. . ." He hesitates.

   "Great?" Sayah questions.

   "Little better than that."

   "Fantastic?"

   "Ugh, no, not that word." Murphy scrunches up his face and Sayah can't help but be mad that she had never seen him do that before and look so adorable.

   Feelings sucked.

   "Perfect." Murphy finds the right word. "It'll be perfect."

   "Lincoln tells me nothing's perfect." Sayah replies.

   "Clearly, he has never properly seen me." Murphy raises his eyebrows, causing Sayah to let out a laugh.

   "Clearly." She repeats, a smirk on her face.

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   Murphy gave her an amused smile. Was she flirting with him right now? Not that he was complaining. He liked it.

And he liked her. He liked everything about her, and he wasn't even mad about it. Maybe the Murphy he was the day he was banished would hate himself for liking her but. . . he didn't care.

"You really think so?" He whispers, leaning in a little.

"Think what, John?" Sayah whispers back, dragging it out a little. Murphy melts at her use of his first name.

"Do you think I'm perfect, Sayah?" Murphy questions. She laughs and leans back. Murphy only smiles in admiration.

   He really liked her.

"You surprise me more and more each day." She tells him, lips turning up in a beautiful smile. Murphy can only continue stare at her with absolute affection.

How can one girl change everything?

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"What's got you in such a good mood?" Lincoln questions Sayah as she enters his cave where he and Octavia meet.

"Same as you," Sayah mumbles, a small smile forming on her face. Lincoln raises an eyebrow. "Let's just say, I'd never wanted peace more." She tells him.

Lincoln knits his brows. "Okay," He murmurs, undeniably confused. He clears his throat. "It'll be harder now, you know that, right? The fight on the bridge just pushed this war further."

"I know," Sayah nods, turning serious. "Negotiations are over."

No matter how bad this war gets, Sayah remembers how Murphy said that they'll get their day someday, and she'll hold onto that. She hopes he will too.

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Murphy's mind can't stop working. He's thinking about her; it's all he can ever think about when stuck in this cave.

Sometimes he wonders why she hadn't let him free yet. If she truly cared about him, wouldn't she let him go?

But then he thinks if it was the other way around, he wouldn't do it either. Because this is the only way they'd really see each other. And if he was let go, he wouldn't be safe anywhere — he wouldn't be able to go back to dropship. He'd be scrambling around the woods, hiding constantly and eventually starving to death. He'd die alone.

Stuck in this cave, chained up, where she came and talked to him and visited him, and even stole him food, was the best option. He realises she must've known that. She said it herself; she doesn't want him to die.

His mind travels back to her smile, and her laugh; everything about her. He wants to believe that she saw him like he saw her. Not as an enemy, as something more. Something more than an alliance between two different people. Something more than just a friendship.

He wonders where the other Murphy had gone — the one willing to kill a child. The one who wanted revenge for what they did to him; how they hung him and watched him choke and struggle and beg. . . beg to be saved. . .

It was strange. How much one person could change everything. Murphy was confused. How did he let this happen? When did he put down the facade he held up for so long, just for this girl?

But it didn't matter now. Because it was down, and she had seen him — the real him — and it was too late. He wonders if she thought about the facade. He wonders if she hated that Murphy and would say, 'He's horrible, I hate him. He deserves every bad thing that comes his way.'

She didn't think that, did she? She didn't see him and think about all the bad things he had done, did she?

Murphy wonders how he could've gotten here, to this part of his life where he spends most of his time thinking about her instead of what he used to — like what would he and the other 100 delinquents eat that night? How would they survive? What if someone gets sick?

But now, it was different. Everything was different, and maybe Murphy didn't totally understand what was going on between himself and Sayah but he didn't care. He knows one thing. He likes Sayah — a lot, and it didn't matter if she was a grounder because even if she wasn't, he's sure he'd still probably fall head over heels—

"Sky boy," A voice grumbles from the entrance of the cave. Murphy's head turns up at the sound. It wasn't Sayah. He knew her voice and that was most definitely not her voice.

And he was right. His two favourite people rounded the corner, a matching angry glare in their features. "You told her we came and saw you?" The one with the neck tattoo questions.

"Well, that's on you two, isn't it?" Murphy replies, rolling his eyes. "Maybe if you both were a bit smarter, she wouldn't have noticed the mark you left."

The bald one growls and approaches Murphy quickly. Faster than Murphy would've expected, the man harshly punches Murphy in his face. Blood pours down from Murphy's nose. He ignores the pain, glaring back up at the bald man.

"Look what your little protector did to me!" He points to his broken nose. "Now we are even."

"Yeah, I bet you cried about it." Murphy snarls back, earning another punch from the man. Murphy spits out blood from his mouth, letting out a laugh. "Is that all?" He taunts.

The bald man glances to his friend who smiles sickly. He looks back to Murphy, the same deadly smile on his face.

"No, no, we're not done here." The bald one says. "We bring a gift, from the Commander." Murphy furrows his brows.

"Don't worry, you'll get it after we have some fun." Neck Tattoo snickers. "Then you can go tell all your people about it."

Murphy is glad Sayah isn't there to see what happens next.

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"I finally brought you some water so I expect a thank you—" Sayah stops dead in her tracks when she realises that the cave is empty.

"Murphy?" She calls. She wracks her mind, thinking about if she unlocked his chains or not before she left. What if someone had come in and took him? What if he had. . . left willingly?

She wouldn't have blamed him if he did. He was a prisoner here but. . . she hoped he knew that it didn't mean that to her. "John? Come on, this isn't funny."

Silence. Sayah had never hated it more.

She drops the pouch of water and walks over towards the chains. They weren't broken, Sayah concluded as she examined them. They'd been unlocked. But how? Only she had the key. She narrows her eyes, there was something on there. She freezes.

Dry blood. Enough to know it was recent.

Her breaths become more quick-paced. What if he had been taken to be executed? No, no of course not. They'd have to let her know first.

What could've happened without her knowing? She was his guard, he was her responsibility — more importantly he was her friend. He was John Murphy. He was her John Murphy.

"W—Who. . .?" Her voice was shaky. Broken. Pained. Then it hit her.

Her expression turned dark as rage filled her once more. Dropping the chains on the ground, she stormed out of the cave, a familiar murderous glare across her features.

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"Ai thought won warning was em pleni!" Sayah grabbed Ekon by the collar and shoved him onto the ground.

"Ai don no idea chit you're talking about, Sayah." Ekon groaned, picking himself on the ground. Sayah delivered a hard kick to his stomach. He let out another harsh groan, collapsing back to the ground. She grabbed his ear harshly like a mother would to a naughty child. He yelps in pain.

"Lie kom me once mo, ai dare yu. Where ste Kwan?" Sayah growls.

"Kwan ste asleep! Em left earlier! I swear!" Ekon cries. Sayah lets go of his ear, before whispering to him, "You are lucky I've decided to spare your life, Ekon."

Sayah leaves him on the floor and travels to Kwan's single hut. She kicks open the door without a second thought. Kwan jumps up from his bed with tired eyes.

"Sayah?" He questions roughly.

She doesn't answer. Sayah grabs his hand, taking advantage of his groggy state and places it down on the make-shift bedside table. Without any hesitation, she pulls out her knife and stabs it into his hand.

Kwan lets out a horrific scream of pain. Sayah holds the blade there. "Chit did yu do kom em?" She questions.

Kwan shakes his head letting out small whimpers of pain. "Ai don't know— Chon? Kom chon?"

Sayah twists the blade slightly and Kwan shakes his head, letting a several cries of pain. "Yu know chon. Tel me."

Kwan doesn't respond. Sayah twists the blade a little more. "Kwan," She demands.

"Osir had orders!" He cries. "Osir gave em some virus o something! Den osir had kom teik em go—"

"Ona who's orders?" Sayah furrows her brows. Kwan pants before answering.

"Anya." He breathes. "Anya."

Sayah's body goes slack for a second before she clenches her jaw. "Ste bilaik hogeda yu did?" She questions, her voice shaky. She feels tears come to her eyes.

"Sha," He nods quickly.

"You're spichen." She snarls, twisting the knife once more. Kwan grits his teeth together.

"Der was mo, ba nothing yu would like kom hear." Kwan admits, wincing.

Sayah takes a deep breath before swallowing hard. She pulls out the knife quickly, and Kwan cries out again. She screams and stabs him in the same place once more. He lets out a gut-wrenching cry of pain.

"I should kill you for what you've done." She admits, ripping out of the blade from his hand. He only grits his teeth and takes deep breaths as she turns, ready to leave.

   "You wouldn't have the guts."

   Sayah pauses in her tracks. She was so sick, of people making assumptions about her—thinking she was weak. Sayah turned back to the panting man, eyes dark, filled with rage.

   When Sayah left the hut, all she could think about was the fresh blood that coated her hands—another kill to add to the list.

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Murphy never imagined he'd be back here. Yet here he was, crowded by the same people who had hung him.

Bellamy storms into the drop-ship, a gun in his hand. Apparently, they have guns now. Murphy wants to laugh. This doesn't help them gain 'peace'. If anything it makes it worse. He never got to ask Sayah what she thought about it.

"Where is he?" Bellamy's deep voice questions. The people surrounding an injured, bloody Murphy step away, creating a path for their 'leader'.

Murphy's skin is burning and everything hurts. He doesn't like to wonder if Sayah has realised he's gone yet or what she's doing if she already has.

Bellamy takes a glance at Murphy and swallows hard. "Everyone but Connor and Derek out. . . now." He raises his voice and just like sheeps, they listen.

"He claims he was with the grounders." Derek tells Bellamy.

'We caught him trying to sneak back into camp." Connor adds.

"I wasn't sneaking." Murphy mumbles. Don't they understand that this is the last place he'd want to be right now? He'd only come back because there was nowhere else to go. "I was running from the grounders."

"Anyone see grounders?" Bellamy questions. Murphy nearly scoffs. Of course, he doesn't believe him. Connor and Derek shake their heads.

"Well, in that case—" Bellamy raises his gun and points it at Murphy.

"Hey, what the hell is wrong with you?" Finn stops him, pushing his gun down. Murphy remembers what Sayah had said about Finn.

"He's nice," She had said. "He wants peace and I admire that." Murphy had only laughed at her words.

"We were clear what would happen if he came back." Bellamy argues.

Murphy feels like his whole body is on fire. A different warmth feeling compared to when Sayah touched him — this one was a harsh, burning feeling. Painful. Murphy wraps his arms around himself, wishing Sayah was here to do it herself. She would hold him and whisper in his ear.

"No! If he was with the grounders, then he knows things that can help us." Finn argues with Bellamy as he stands in front of Murphy.

"Help us? We hanged him, we banished him and now we're gonna kill him." Bellamy replies. "Get the hell out of my way."

"No." Clarke suddenly speaks up. "Finn is right." She approaches Murphy and crouches down in front of him,

"Like hell he is," Bellamy argues. "Clarke, think about Charlotte." He says and Murphy wants to shut his eyes and wait for the floor to swallow him whole. Of course Bellamy brings up the girl.

"I am thinking about her," Clarke turns to Bellamy. "But what happened to Charlotte was as much our fault as his." She takes Murphy's bloody hands and examines them.

"He's not lying." Clarke says. "His fingernails were torn off. They tortured him." Yes, it was very fun. Murphy thinks to himself.

"You and the grounders should compare notes." Finn mutters to Bellamy.

"The grounders know we're at war," Bellamy replies. "What did you tell them about us?" He directs his question to Murphy.

Murphy pauses for a moment, remembering going over everything with Sayah. Even when he had first met her, Murphy knew she was different. At the time, he just didn't know how much he would grow attached to her.

Murphy's voice is shaky when he replies, "Everything."

It goes silent for a moment before Clarke stands up and approaches Bellamy. "Once he's better, we find out what he knows and then he's out of here, okay?"

"What if he refuses to leave?" Bellamy questions Clarke as she passes by him. "What do we do with him then?" She turns to him and glances at Murphy once.

"Then we kill him."

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Murphy wonders if Sayah's okay. He wonders if she'll go to Lincoln and beg him to help her find him, beg to him get Octavia and get him out; bring him back to her.

He hopes she isn't worried. He hopes she hasn't done anything stupid like charge in here herself and demand where he is. He stops thinking for a moment.

No, no she wouldn't do that. She doesn't care about him that much to do something like that. Murphy doesn't even think she'd react badly when she founds out he's gone — if she hasn't already.

She'll probably realise he wasn't playing a trick on her and he had left. He had left her.

   She would experience one of his worst fears: being here one moment and then being gone the next. And he was the reason why.

But then she would forget about him, and he would just become a ghost to her.

He hated that idea. He hated it more than anything. Please don't forget me, Sayah. He feels his body tremble. Please don't forget me. Please, please, please. . .

And then he can't hold it in anymore. He heaves, and instead of something like bile, like he had expected, only blood pours out of his mouth. He couldn't control it.

Not even when Clarke came rushing in. It just kept coming. His body shakes and he clutches his stomach as if he was trying to hold it together, continuously getting more and more torn apart with every heave.

Was this what she felt? If it did hurt her — him being away from her — as much as it did him, was this what it felt like for her? Like her insides had been ripped out and torn apart. Did she struggle to hold herself together because he was gone?

   Murphy could feel Clarke's hand on his back. "Murphy, hey, look at me." She's trying to grab his attention. He coughs harshly before looking up at her.

"I need you to tell me exactly how you escaped from the grounders." She says to him. He shakes his head and breathes heavily.

"What happened?" She questions. Her touch is soft, but not a type of gentle-soft like Sayah's. It was a cautious touch.

   Like she didn't want to touch him.

"I don't know," Murphy answers. "They came in and— and tortured me and then I must've passed out for a moment from the blood loss or something because—" He pants. "When I woke up, there was no one there. I wasn't even in the cave I stayed in, I was out in the woods so I just. . ." Left. You left her, Murphy.

Clarke listens intently before sighing. "They let you go." She concludes.

Bellamy enters and Clarke raises her hand. "Bellamy, stay back,"

"Did he do something to you?" Bellamy questions protectively. Clarke shakes her head.

"What the hell is this?" Bellamy questions, noticing the dry blood below her nose. Clarke glances at Murphy.

"Biological warfare." She answers. "You were waiting for the grounders to retaliate for the bridge? This is it. Murphy is the weapon."

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"Is this your revenge, helping the grounders kill us?" Bellamy questions Murphy as Clarke helps clean him up. Clarke had concluded that the grounders gave Murphy a deadly virus that spreads through contact.

"I didn't know about this, okay, I swear." Murphy replies. God, he wishes Sayah was here. He'd rather be locked up in the dark cave right now. Or sneaking out and climbing the ledge to see the stars.

"Stop lying!" Bellamy raises his voice. "When are they coming?"

"Murphy, think, alright?" Clarke tells him. "What can you tell us that's useful? Did you hear anything?"

Murphy shakes his head. "Most of them. . ." He knows she isn't like the rest. "Are vicious, cruel—"

"You wanna see vicious?" Bellamy begins to approach him.

"Hey, don't." Clarke warns him. "Whatever this thing is, it spreads through contact."

Suddenly, Finn rushes in. "Clarke?"

"Finn, you shouldn't be in here." Clarke tells him. Everything is so loud and Murphy's head aches. "No one should."

"I heard you were sick," Finn says. "Clarke, what is this?"

"I don't know," She replies. "It's some kind of hemorrhagic fever. We just need to contain it before—"

A retching sound interrupts her and they turn to see one of the boys spasming on the ground. A seizure? Murphy can't tell. Clarke rushes over.

"Hey, don't touch me. You could get sick," Clarke tells Finn when he reaches out and grabs her. "Wash your hands now."

The boy on the floor retches and struggles, letting out several groans. He lifts himself up slightly, coughing. Then he stops and collapses, going still.

Clarke crouches down and checks his pulse. "Is he—" Bellamy asks.

"He's dead." Clarke confirms.

Murphy glances away. He's going to die. He's going to die and he never even got to say goodbye to her. Never got to thank her for every moment they spent together, every time she made him laugh, every time she stole him food. Never even got to thank her for making his heart beat so much to the point where he remembered he had one.

He never got to tell her how much he likes the stars now because of how they remind him of her. Never got to tell her the truth. Never got to tell her how he feels.

Clarke pours some alcohol on Finn's hands. "What do we do?" He questions.

"Quarantine." She replies. "Round up everyone who had contact with Murphy, bring them here."

"And everyone they had contact with?" Bellamy asks as Finn leaves.

"Well we have to start somewhere." Clarke tells him. "Connor, who was with you when you found him? Who carried him in? Think."

A bloody Connor pants and replies, "The first one there was Octavia." Bellamy's eyes widen and he rushes out of the dropship.

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"Why didn't you tell me that they were going to do that to him?" Sayah questions Lincoln. He looks away from her.

"I know you would've stopped them."

"Of course I would've!"

"And you would've been killed in the process." Lincoln finishes and Sayah goes quiet.

"He could be dead right now, Lincoln." Sayah says to him. She lets out a shaky breath. He can't be dead. No, he can't be.

"I'm sorry, Sayah." Lincoln murmurs. "I know how much he meant to you."

Sayah wants to call him out on the use of 'meant' but she doesn't. She doesn't know whether to have hope or not.

"Anya must not trust me anymore if she ordered it without me knowing." Sayah states. "I should've stayed with him—"

"Don't blame yourself." Lincoln interrupts her.

"You don't understand!" Sayah raises her voice. Lincoln furrows his brows. "I was supposed to. . ." She runs a hand through her hair. "We were meant to. . ." She can't finish her sentence.

   There was too much between them for the world to give up on them now. All those days and nights spent together, it wasn't enough.

"It's too late now, Sayah. We leave soon." He reminds her. Lincoln had a plan to run, taking Octavia with him. Sayah wishes she could grab Murphy and he could join them.

Sayah turns away from Lincoln and covers her face with her hands. It hurt. Everything hurt. Why? Why him? Why now? She wants to drop to the floor and scream and cry and beg someone — anyone, to bring him back.

She shakes her head, letting out a disappointed sigh. She was a warrior. She was strong. No matter how much she wants to scream until her lungs were raw and stung with every breath, she didn't.

Suddenly, a voice calls out from the entrance of the cave. "Lincoln?"

Lincoln's head turns towards the entrance and then he glances at me. "It's Octavia." The siblings both get up and approach her. Lincoln checks her first for any symptoms. "You knew," Octavia realises.

"I tried to get you out of there," He says to her. "You not see the flower?"

"I saw it," She replies. "Right before I found the kid your people sent to infect us."

"Is John alright?" Sayah questions, taking a step forward. He had to be okay, right? He had to be alright.

Octavia turns to Sayah. "John? John Murphy?" Octavia repeats, confused. "You know Murphy?"

Sayah purses her lips. Know him? Does Sayah know John Murphy? She would argue it's a little more than that. "Yes."

"So, you knew too?" Her tone is accusing.

"If I did, I would've stopped it from happening." Sayah snaps. "He's. . . he's my friend." She adds, the word sounding rough on her tongue.

Octavia furrows her brows, confused. Sayah didn't expect her to be fine with it. More importantly, she didn't care what Octavia thought. Sayah knew what they all thought of Murphy.

"People are dying," Octavia says to the two siblings. "Clarke sent me here for the cure."

Sayah glances to Lincoln who shakes his head. "There is no cure."

"So you were just gonna let my people die?" Octavia questions Lincoln as he turns away from her. "You were gonna let me die?"

"The sickness passes quickly." He faces her. "Few are immune. We use it soften the battlefield."

Sayah glances down. She had never been told any of this about it. If this was true, Murphy was strong, he would survive it. She had to remind herself. She would hold onto that.

"I am not surprised you are one of the strong ones," Lincoln tells Octavia as he cups her face.

"The battlefield?" Octavia questions. Sayah's gaze snaps up to Lincoln. Octavia glances between the two. Sayah realises that Lincoln didn't tell Octavia.

"They attack at first light." He says.

Octavia's eyes widen. "You're gonna have to help me save them. Both of you."

"We can't. We tried." Lincoln argues. "Our people think we are traitors now."

"Because of the bridge? You were both just trying to make peace."

"It's not the bridge." Sayah speaks up.

"Because of me?" Octavia questions gently.

Sayah clenches her jaw. "I've defended Murphy many times too, they find it suspicious, me defending a Sky Person and well. . ." She trails off, glancing between the couple. Sayah only nods, confirming Octavia's thoughts.

"That doesn't matter now." Lincoln begins. "Sayah and I are leaving, right now."

Sayah bites her lip. She doesn't know whether or not to ask Octavia about Murphy. She doesn't know if she can leave him.

"I want you to come with us." Lincoln tells Octavia.

"And go where?"

"East, to the sea, and then across it." Lincoln explains. "There's a clan, allies of the woods, but they'll take us."

"I can't just let my brother get killed," Octavia tells him.

Lincoln furrows his brows. "There is nothing you can do to stop that now."

"I can warn them." Octavia suggests.

"Octavia, they'll kill you." Lincoln tells her. "If you're there at dawn—"

"I won't be. Just wait for me here." She tells him before glancing between the two of us. "I'm coming with you two."

She takes a few steps back but Lincoln stops her and presses his lips against hers. Sayah looks away.

When they pull apart, Octavia glances towards Sayah. Sayah gives her a quick hug. She whispers something in Octavia's ear and Octavia nods quickly before rushing out.

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Just as Murphy can feel his eyelids drooping, the sound of shuffling feet wakes him up.

Finn enters with Clarke in his arms and Octavia following behind them. Murphy glances around, noticing there's not really anywhere to place Clarke. He gets up out of his hammock, "Here, come on. She can take mine." He says.

Finn doesn't hesitate and rushes over, lying Clarke in the hammock. Murphy passes Octavia and takes a seat on the ground. He feels Octavia's eyes on him.

"What else did Lincoln tell you?" Finn asks Octavia. Murphy's head pricks up. Octavia saw Lincoln? That means. . .

"That the virus doesn't last long." Octavia replies.

"Its true," Murphy adds. "I feel better."

"They need to stay hydrated," Clarke says, attempting to get up. Finn pushes her back down, "You need to stay hydrated."

Octavia passes over some water to Clarke, who takes it willingly. "Okay, them too." She says after a sip. Octavia hesitates. "Please," Clarke asks again.

"It's okay, I'll do it." Octavia reassures her. "Just rest."

"I'll help you," Murphy speaks up, getting up and moving over to her. Octavia glances at him from the corner of her eye.

"Now I can see why she likes you," Octavia mumbles to him.

Murphy looks at her, confused. "What?"

"Sayah," She explains. "I get it now."

Murphy almost feels perfectly healthy again. "You saw her? Is she okay?"

"She seemed okay to me." Octavia reassures him. He nods, letting out a quiet sigh of relief. "Stressed. . . but mostly okay." Murphy looks down to the floor. I left her.

   "In case she never sees you again," Octavia speaks up, "Which she might since she's probably leaving with Lincoln she told me to tell you something."

"Wait, what? Leaving?" Murphy repeats.

Octavia nods. "I'm sorry. I don't know what type of relationship you two have but she seemed tense when I brought you up."

Murphy lets out a quiet sigh. Please forgive me, Sayah. He never should've left her behind; he should've found her.

And now she was leaving him.

"Anyway," Octavia clears her throat, glancing around. "She told me to tell you thank you."

Murphy pauses. "For what?" Octavia furrows her brows before answering.

"For everything."

Murphy nearly drops the cup of water in his hand.

༺═──────────────═༻

"Hey, Murphy!" Octavia's voice calls out.

"Yeah?" Murphy stops what he's doing.

"Clarke says when that happens to roll him on his side," She points to Connor who coughs and chokes on the ground.

"I'm on it." Murphy says, walking over to him. He crouches down in front of him. "Come on, come on, get on your side."

Connor's eyes widen and he struggles in Murphy's grasp. "You're okay! You're okay! I got you, okay?" Connor turns on his side and vomits out blood. "Okay, okay. Just breathe." Murphy repeats.

"Listen to me, alright? You and me are good." Murphy tells him. "Just breathe. That's better."

Connor's lip trembles. "I put the rope around your neck." He tells Murphy. "Why are you helping me?"

"Bygones," Murphy replies, with a small shake of his head. Connor doesn't reply.

Suddenly, two boys carrying Bellamy enter. Octavia rushes up and lays him down. Murphy turns away as she talks Bellamy down and cleans him up.

༺═──────────────═༻

Murphy hesitates before crouching down near Bellamy and offering him some water. "Here," He says.

"Get the hell away from me." Bellamy pushes the water away. Murphy wants to roll his eyes, regretting his decision to help.

"Bellamy, you're sick, okay?" Murphy tells him. "I'm just trying to help." He watches as blood runs down Bellamy's nose. He picks up a rag and offers it to him. "Here,"

Bellamy ignores the offer so Murphy places it down on the floor again. "When I get better," Bellamy begins. "If you're still here—"

"Hey," A voice interrupts. It's Clarke. "I got this one." Murphy nods and hands her the cup of water, leaving them alone.

Murphy wants to yell. Or throw something. But he doesn't. He doesn't understand why Bellamy treats him the way he does — even Clarke doesn't trust Murphy but she still treats him like a person.

   He should've asked Octavia more about Sayah and Lincoln leaving. He could've asked when and maybe them he could've snuck out to join them. So he and Sayah would be together.

   But he can't. Not with Bellamy and Clarke and even Finn keeping a close eye on him.

Murphy wants to keep trying better. At least now he knows Sayah is alright. He misses her, and he admits that if she were here with him, she'd treat him like a person.

   All of this makes Murphy angry. These people didn't care about him. These people were willing to watch him hang. Only Sayah cared. And now she, the only person who really cared about him, was leaving him behind.

༺═──────────────═༻

Murphy dips the rag in a bucket of water and squeezes it, wringing it out before approaching a sleeping Connor. Murphy sighs.

"You didn't deserve it, Murphy. Any of it." Sayah tells him as she leans her head on his shoulder, staring up at the familiar stars. "The guilt for what they did to you will get to them eventually."

"And if it doesn't? Will they pay for what they did?" Murphy questions her.

She doesn't reply.

Murphy tilts his head slightly before pressing the rag roughly against Connor's mouth. Connor tries to shout but it's muffled. I didn't deserve it. Murphy reminds himself. Connor struggles to get out of Murphy's grasp but he's weak from the virus. Murphy's stronger. He presses the rag down more, ignoring Connor's muted cries.

"Bygones." Murphy spits out angrily.

And then Connor stops. Stops moving, stops struggling and Murphy knows he's stopped breathing.

Murphy stands up walks away, placing the rag to lay on the ladder, evidence of what he's done thrown carelessly away.

༺═──────────────═༻

a/n

whew what a long chapter.it is tragic isnt it. just as everything was SO good. . .they lose eachother :/and MuRpHy lOsEs HiMsELf *gasp* so deep 😔😭🤭

TRANSLATIONS:SAYAH: I thought one warning was enough!EKON: I have no idea what you're talking about, Sayah.SAYAH: Lie to me once more, I dare you. Where is Kwan?EKON: Kwan is asleep! He left earlier! I swear!SAYAH: What did you do with him?KWAN: I don't know— Who? With who? SAYAH: You know who. Tell me.KWAN: We had orders! We gave him some virus or something! Then we had to let him go—SAYAH: Under who's orders?SAYAH: Is that all you did?KWAN: Yes.SAYAH: You're lying.KWAN: There was more, but nothing you'd like to hear.

^ sayah when she got water for murphy only to find he's not even there

^ murphy when bellamy throws the cup of water back at him when all he was trying to do was help

^ clarke @ murphy when he was vomiting out blood