Sleep On Me

It was late in the nighttime cycle in the castle, meaning that all of team Voltron (even Pidge whom Shiro had to carry back to her room), have crashed by now. All of them except the blue paladin. Lance was tossing and turning in bed, most nights he'll have a nightmare consisting of three themes, on this particular night all three were mixed into one jumbo, mega, ultra, super horrific nightmare. Tears were running down his face and he had long since clamped one of his tanned hands over his mouth to keep in the depressing noises he was making. As he thought about the nightmare again, a fresh wave of tears burned his eyes. He tried but failed to blink them away as his entire body shook from the mental exertion it was costing him to not let out a sob.

Lance knew that he wasn't depressed, he just severely missed home, more than he would like to admit, he knew that he wasn't sad enough to hurt himself, but sometimes everything just felt like too much and he had to get away from it. He had just the place to go when he needed to get away.

After his shaking subsided to a small shiver he got up and wrapped himself up in his blanket before tiptoeing out of his room, down the halls and to the main control area.

Though it was buzzing and constantly busy during their waking hours, at night it was completely empty, everything was turned off but not powered down to the point that the windows showing off the galaxy were shut down and couldn't be turned on quick enough for a surprise mission.

Lance took a seat on the raised platform just off of the ground and gazed up at the stars and planets that littered the inky space around him, just sitting there and taking in their beauty reminded him of how much he loved space.

He fell in love with the endless void a long time ago, more specifically when his father took him out to the beach near their house in Cuba one night with a huge telescope. Just the two of them, bare feet in the sand with the waves crashing softly against the slightly rocky shore as his father pointed out the different planets and nebulas.

That was one of (if not the most) magical nights in Lance's entire life. That was the night when Lance knew that he wanted to be there, he wanted to be in space and see even closer the planets and the stars. He wanted so badly to feel that magic all over again. And he did, the first few times he flew in Blue. He wanted to keep flying with the stars. But not like this, not when it seemed like it would be forever, and a forever so far away from home. Far away from his brother Marco, and his brother Luis, and his sister Veronica, and his sister Sophia. But most of all so far away from his mother's hugs, his abuela's cooking, his father taking the family down to the ocean days in a row. He missed his baby cousins and his aunt and just Cuba.

He missed Earth.

He missed home.

Lance hugged his knees into his chest, curling into a small ball as he laid his head onto his knees and draped his blanket over his head. He held the blanket close to him, feeling the chills up and down his spine from the lack of a shirt (he slept in only blue pajama pants) and kept quiet yet again as the silent tears ran down his face, dripping off his chin.

Memories of holidays spent with all of his extended family, Friday movie nights, birthday punches and many other family traditions played in his head on repeat, his mind focusing on each happy smile painted upon the faces of his relatives. He could see some of their faces fading, feel their thread connecting to him loosen deep in his soul. He let out an involuntary sob just at the thought of them forgetting him, it was one of his greatest fears. It was a part of his nightmare.

His nightmare.

He clamped his hand over his mouth yet again, stifling another sob that was threatening to spill out. His shoulders shook harder as his tears streamed down more violent than before, this was supposed to make him feel better like it usually did, but this time it only made him feel more homesick. What Lance needed right then was a long, warm hug and reassuring words. But he couldn't have that, he wasn't with his mother who could provide him with the best hugs and he didn't want to be a baby and bother his teammates. He was already a seventh wheel to them, expendable, replaceable, he wasn't needed. They only kept him on the team out of pity and as a human shield, he didn't want to give them another reason to know that he wasn't up to the task of being a paladin of Voltron.

He chose not to go crying to them, he always chose that and he always will, he didn't want to be more of a burden then he already was. The shaking had gotten worse, not only was it from sadness but the cold that seeped into the room and onto his bare skin making it ten times worse. His hair was still matted against his forehead from the cold sweat that he woke up in and his sobs reduced into a mess of pitiful sounding whimpers.

He tried desperately to wipe away his tears but it was no use, there would always be another wave of them that washed over his eyes, there was nothing that he could do to end the sadness except wait it out.

Lance let out a louder sob than usual, coming to terms that this night was just going to be a horrible one that he was going have to deal with alone again. The loneliness hit him like a truck, causing his whimpers to become louder and more frequent. It didn't matter how hard he pressed his hand into his mouth or tighten his lips in an effort to dampen the noises, it worked to no avail.

"Lance...? Is that you?" A familiar voice came from behind him. It was heavy and tired, yet dripping with concern. Concern and pity. Lance hated pity, he didn't need it from anyone, especially not from his rival. His rival that he really looked up to and liked more than he would ever admit. Through his mixed emotions Lance froze up upon hearing the voice suddenly behind him, froze up at the thought that he had been exposed for being the baby that he really was.

"Ye-yeah?" he hiccuped, trying but failing to keep a snivel out of his words. Lance kept his head down as he heard footsteps nearing him, he could understand how they weren't audible to him at first, the footfalls were very light as if they were padded, you couldn't hear them unless you were in a quiet area, really listening. "What do you want? Are you here to make fun of me or something? I get it, I'm being a baby, poor little Lancey is upset over something really dumb! I get it so just...leave me alone, I don't need you to tease or patronize me Keith."

"Why would I do any of that? Do you really think that low of me?" the Korean boy asked, taking a seat next to Lance yet not very close to him. What he said was a little offensive and borderline hurtful, but he was clearly very upset about something so Keith chose to ignore the comments.

"Sorry if that sounded rude but why else would you care? It has to either be you wanting to make fun of me or just trying to overly pity me. Well I don't need either of those things so if you weren't planning on doing that then what game are you playing at?" the Cuban asked, still not looking up. He wound his blanket tighter around him, still keeping it hooded over his head to try and hide his shivers.

"I just...I couldn't sleep so I went to train. Then on my way to the kitchen I saw you, then I heard you crying and was planning on asking what was wrong," Keith replied calmly, trying to sit in a relaxed position to show Lance that he didn't intend on being hostile.

"Why though? You always try to one up me because you hate me. And if you hate me then why do you care about me?"

"Lance, I don't hate you," Keith sighed, finally deciding on leaning back on his hands with his legs stretched out in front of him. "And the only reason I try to 'one up' you all the time is because I think it's fun, no one on this team can really challenge me like you can Lance. Maybe Shiro but he's not as fun, and don't get me wrong everyone is great in their own way, but I don't get the same feeling that I do when I get into those silly competitions or arguments with you."

"Wait...you don't hate me?" Lance asked, still not looking up from his position. Keith let out another sigh and unconsciously scooted closer to Lance's side.

"No I don't hate you. I never did, I never even really thought of our relationship as just ending at rivals, especially since we bonded so much while out here," Keith waved his arm in front of him, motioning to the stars visible from the windows even though Lance wasn't looking. "And I'm not really sure when or where or why this whole rivalry thing started but I do really care about you Lance." Keith could feel his face heating up when he said it, but he wasn't sure why, probably because he was never very good at talking about personal stuff like that.

"I care a lot about everyone but I just don't show it. Shiro might be the one that I'm closest to but I feel like I'm getting closer to everyone around here and that makes me want to help them when something's not right. And something's not right with you, so let me help you. What's wrong?"

Lance was a little speechless at first, not really knowing how to react to Keith being very open to him for the first time. He knew he couldn't just leave Keith hanging there, with all of these feelings out in the open and not opening up back, but he really didn't want to sound like a little baby who needed anyone's pity.

"I just...I had a nightmare. A really bad one about home. But I don't want to sound like a child who needs a pat on the back and stuff. I get that I already make things hard for everyone on the team and me adding my crappy feeling to the equation isn't going to make things any better. I'm just a little homesick, but I know that we all are so I really shouldn't-" Lance was cut off by Keith squishing his cheeks together so that he wasn't able to talk.

"Don't say that!"

Lance was taken aback at the sudden shout. He tried to yank his face out of Keith's grip but he couldn't budge. So he settled on giving Keith an expression that was a mix of confusion and irritation (well, the best expression that he could do with his cheeks pressed together).

"You don't make things hard on us Lance, and bottling up your emotions won't do you any good either. Yes we may all be homesick but it's obviously affecting you more than anyone else on the group. And don't forget that you are a human being, it's okay for you to let out your feelings and talk about your problems. I learned that the hard way Lance, but it's still good to know. All of us here, we all care about you like our own family. And sure you might get a little patronized but that's just how some awkward people deal with things like this. I am so sorry that you have to be away from your family Lance but we need you here. I need you here-" Keith pulled Lance into a tight embrace "-more than you will ever know. You're not a burden and you never will be. If you're not here then who's going to be the team's sharpshooter? Who's going to be like another big brother to Pidge? Who's going to be Hunk's best friend? Who's going to be like a son to Coran? Who's going to be one of the only people Allura and Shiro can confide in? Who's going to keep me sane around here? You're an anchor for us Lance, you keep us grounded whether you know it or not and you're always there to help others who need help. You're smart and you're a valuable member of this team. There would be no team Voltron if you weren't here with us Lance."

Lance was shell shocked. He had absolutely no idea what to say, sure there were these little voices in his head telling him that none of what Keith was saying was true, but they receded at the warmth emitting off of Keith. It wrapped him up and he closed his eyes, feeling peace in his mind for once that night.

"Thank you Keith," he muttered shifting a little so that he had a little more comfortable position in Keith's arms. He felt like he never wanted to leave the crook of Keith's neck. It wasn't his mother's warm embrace, but it was calm and welcoming. It was like the sad after a storm.

Lance let his eyes flutter a little as he breathed Keith in. He smelled a little of sweat, just as a night of training would do to anyone, but it wasn't unpleasant. It was like a nice musk that made him feel safe, that and the little mingle of an almost woody scent was apparent on the red paladin. He wrapped his arms around Keith before dozing off on his chest to sound of the smaller male's heartbeat, not caring much for the blanket that had already slipped off his head and just barely rested on his shoulders. Nor for the tear stains on his cheeks, matted hair on his forehead, red puffiness of his eyes, or the fact that he wasn't wearing a shirt, and all of this combined was making for one slightly (if not very) flustered Keith who could feel his face burning as red as a tomato. He cradled Lance close to his chest, and as the Cuban snored lightly, Keith pulled his blanket back up securely over his shoulders and just held him for a while.

This sure is familiar now isn't it huh?

Keith smiled to himself and hummed an old tune to a song that he had long since forgotten the name of and rocked Lance back and forth in his arms. He didn't get tired, he didn't think he would ever get tired of something like this night. Keith sat there contently, knowing that he would have to take Lance back to his room sooner or later, having chosen later because of how peaceful the blue paladin looked sleeping while curled up into the Korean boy's chest.

Definitely later.