ch.43

spend

  i woke up early so i was able to see glenn before he left on his scavenging trip with those assholes.

   "are you sure i shouldn't ask deanna to rethink my job? you know i'm really good to have on runs" i questioned glenn, while helping him and the others load the van.

   he shook his head, "as much as i'd love for you to be with me always, i need you here. they need you here." he started, stopping in his tracks to hold my hands, "you always talk to me about missing your job, here's you chance to practice again."

   i nodded, looking down to where his hands held mine. "i'm just worried you won't come back. promise me we'll see each other again." i pleaded, watching his uneasy eyes look away from mine.

    he released my hands, walking back into the storage room. i followed him from behind, wanting to hear his response. "you know we can't promise each other things like that."

   i frowned, checking the items off the check list as they were placed in the van. "i can promise you i'll try my hardest to come back to you, along with everyone else." he stated, closing the van doors.

   "okay" i mumbled, looking at him with sad eyes, "be safe"

   he smiled, leaning in to plant a kiss on my lips. "i love you" he stated, pulling his head away to look at me.

   "i love you too." i smiled, before backing away to let him go. something i hated to do, every time he had to leave.

   i slowly made my way to where deanna and reg stood, also watching the van drive away. i turned once it disappeared in sight, heading away from the two.

   "melanie..." deanna started, causing me to turn back around and face them. "something wrong?" i questioned, watching the women shift uneasily.

   "i just wanted to apologize for aiden." she started, stepping closer to me, "he tends to act on impulse."

   i nodded, "it's okay, things happen." i smiled, crossing my hands over my chest. "just know that if something happens to glenn or the rest of my people because of him or his friend nicolas. i will not hesitate to knock one of them on their ass, maybe even both."

   her eyes widened, looking to reg and then back to me. i didn't let her say anything else as i turned away quickly, heading towards the infirmary.__________

   this time, i didn't hesitate to open the infirmary door. i waltzed right in, not giving a shit in the world.

   "hello doc, deanna sent me to help. whats my job for today?" i questioned, grabbing a lab coat from a coat rack near the doorway.

   "melanie, good morning." he started, looking at me with irritated eyes, "we're drawing blood, you up for that?" he questioned, handing me a pair of gloves.

   i nodded, taking them from his hand before stepping to a patient. "hey little guy, i'm melanie. do you mind if i clean your arm?" i asked, sending him a smile as i prepped the equipment.

   without hesitation, he pulled his sleeve up, revealing his arm to me. "wow, you're a brave kid" i stated, cleaning his arm.

   "i wanna be like you, you're brave" he smiled, catching me off guard.

   "i try to be" i mumbled, taking out the needle, "okay, this is going to feel like a little pinch."

   i inserted the needle, watching the blood shoot through the tube. the kid winced little, closing his eyes.

   "okay, you're all done." i stated, removing the iv from his arm and placing a fun printed bandaid on the area.

    i watched him jump up out of the seat, and run to his mom who was sitting down in the waiting chairs by the door.

   i giggled, preparing for the next patient. "you were good with him, do you like kids?" pete questioned, stepping near me.

   i shook my head, "they're okay, im just good with them" i answered, stopping what i was doing so i could face him.

   he nodded, "i'm glad i'll have you by my side, you're a good doctor."

"do you mind if i take the rest of the day off, i'm a little overwhelmed." i questioned, causing him to nod.

"see you tomorrow, pete." i stated, opening the door to leave. before i could fully step out, a sharp pain hit my head, causing my hand to fly up to my forehead.

this pain wasn't a normal headache, it was much worse. it felt as if i was getting hit over the head with a baseball bat, over and over again. it was the pain that came before i saw my dad, back in the woods.

i squeezed my eyes shut, almost falling backwards until somebody's hands wrapped around my body, holding me up.

"woah, there. sit down" pete pleaded, ushering for me to sit down in the visiting area. i nodded, letting him help me to the chair.

i sat down, bending over to hold my head. "do you guys have meds here? tylenol?" i questioned, causing him to nod his head. getting up to get me some medicine.

he soon came back, bearing a glass of water and two small pills. "thank you" i smiled, taking the glass and meds from his hand.

i popped it in my mouth, following the water as i chugged it down. pete chuckled, watching me gulp the water, "slow down there, you're gonna choke."

i shook my head, handing him the glass. "they're back!" i heard a faint scream from outside call out. my eyes widened, jumping up from my seat. i needed to see glenn.

"hey, you almost just fainted. you need to rest." pete urged, pulling my arm back to sit down.

i gave him a dirty look, pushing his hands away from my shoulders. "look, i appreciate the medicine and water, but i need to see my husband. i'm fine now." i stated, getting up, only to be pushed back down again.

"what the hell, dude." i snapped, glaring up to pete who stood, looking at me with intense eyes.

he opened his mouth to talk, but was soon interrupted by maggie bursting through the infirmary doors.

her face held a sad and worried look, causing my heart to drop. "are they back? is everyone okay?" i asked her, my voice shaky.

she shook her head, "come on, someone needs you." she stated, grabbing my arm away from pete, pulling me out the door.

i didn't even bother to look back at him, as maggie pulled me to the house. stopping when she reached our porch. i smiled to her before she took her leave.

a rush of relief flooded through my body, seeing glenn and rick sitting on the porch. i slowly walked up the stairs, trying to not intervene in their conversation.

i sat down beside glenn, listening to him talk. "i saw the grenades, i tried to stop him" glenn uttered, causing me to turn my head to rick, wondering who he was talking about.

rick lipped aiden, causing my blood to boil just thinking about his name. "nicolas was gonna run, but we made him stay." glenn started, looking away from the both of us, "couldn't get aiden out of there without help."

his words confused me, considering i only was here for part of the story. but i pieced the words together, realizing aiden was dead.

"all nicolas had to do was hold the door, but he panicked" glenn uttered, tearing up. i placed a hand on his arm, rubbing it a bit for reassurance.

"noah... i had him. i had his hand." glenn mumbled, tears now brimming my eyes, also realizing noah was gone. i slowly placed a hand over my mouth in disbelief, holding back the whimpers.

"i tried... i watched him die." glenn started, looking to rick, "i almost left nicolas out there, i could've told a story."

"he's still alive? he's still here?" i questioned, becoming pissed that nicolas was still alive, but noah wasn't.

rick nodded, causing me to give glenn intense eyes. "what, you think i should have?" glenn questioned me, but no words left my mouth as i sat there in aw of the situation.

"they don't know what they're doing. any of them." rick answered for me, causing glenn to talk with his hands.

"we'll show them" glenn pleaded, looking between us. i shook my head, "i don't think they'll be able to see how things really are."

glenn just shook his head, licking his lips, "we have to be here. we have to." he stated, his words making me think. some of us weren't made for this. half of us were thriving and the rest were going off the deep end.

"yeah we do, but their rules, we don't answer to them." rick stated, causing glenn to shake his head even more.

"we are them, rick."

i looked at him with hurt eyes, standing up. "we are not them. " i mumbled, pacing the porch.

"we are now." glenn corrected, still trying to be calm with my fumes, "noah believed in this place. i'm telling you we gotta make this work."

my mind flooded with images of noah, remembering how badly beth wished for him to succeed.

     "i couldn't protect beth, how did i ever think i could protect noah." i uttered, earning a sad look from rick.

     i sighed, moving away from the two and into the house. _____________

the sun shined through the windows, causing my eyes to flicker open. i yawned, rolling to the other side to feel for glenn, only he wasn't there.

memories from last night flooded my mind, causing me to groan, forcing myself to sit up. i heard faint shouts and screams from outside my house as i stood up, looking out the window.

women and men running towards the yelling, making my heart drop. i quickly pulled my jeans on and grabbed my gun.

i bolted outside the door, running towards the commotion. my eyes widened, seeing rick and pete strangling each other in the middle of the road.

i watched as carl ran up to his dad, fighting to pull him off of pete. i hesitated shaking my head before i ran to where carl was only to be pushed to the ground with him from rick.

we both sat in amazement as we watched the fight continue. carl looked at me i disbelief causing me to wrap my hand around his shoulder.

"you touch them again, and i will kill you." rick sneered, still holding pete in a head lock. "damn it, rick! i said stop." deanna roared.

i watched as more people gathered around, including glenn and nicolas. for a moment a saw a flash of worry in glenns eyes, seeing both me and carl on the ground.

people started coming near rick, making him pull out his gun. "or what? you gonna kick me out?" he questioned sarcastically, pointing his gun at deanna and other alexandrians.

"rick, just put the gun down." i urged, while ushering carl to stand where enid was. i only was putting myself in danger as he swung the gun in my direction, not realizing it was me.

glenn stepped forward, making my eyes flash to him, shaking my head. watching as rick swung it back around to deanna, "you still don't get it."

i stood up, backing away towards carl and enid, who had mixed emotions written on their faces. "you, you just sit and plan and hesitate." rick yelled, still facing towards deanna.

"you pretend like you know, but you don't" rick started, blood dripping down his face, "your way of doing things is done."

   deannas gaze never left ricks, her body shook from the irritation. "things don't get better because you- you want them to" rick uttered, using his gun to talk with his hands.

   "starting right now we have to live in the real world. we have to control who lives here."

   i looked between carl and enid, who's eyes never left rick. i wrapped my arms around both of there shoulders, trying to reassure them everything would be okay.

   "that's never been more clear to me than it is right now." deanna agreed with rick, referring to rick being the bad guy.

    "me?me? you- you mean me?" he stuttered, forcing out a laugh in between his words. "if you don't fight, you die."

    i left enid and carl's side, as i began to walk where rick was. he was just gonna embarrass himself more if he kept talking, even if he was spewing the truth.

   before i could reach him, michonne came into my view, giving me a hand motion to tell me she had him. i gave a quick nod, stopping in place.

   "i'm not gonna stand by—" rick was cut off as michonne stepped to him, smacking him over the head with her fist.

    she bent down, picking up his gun from the ground. i watched as maggie appeared pulling me away from the crowd to talk with me, "you need to come and talk with me." she stated, earning a confused look from me.

   "why? you're good with getting the message through without violence."

   which caused maggie to shake her head, "it's more serious than you think. deannas pissed at rick and wants him out."

   i scoffed, rubbing my face with my hands, trying to process every. "please, just come and talk or try and convince your sister to talk."

   i paused for a moment looking to the ground, "fine, but i'm not involving my sister, she's family to them. we can sort this out with deanna alone."

   "okay." she agreed, walking up the front steps to deannas house. reg greeted us at the door, before leading us to the back where deanna stood thinking.

   "what do you need to talk about, girls?" deannas asked, watching as i crossed my hands over my chest.

   "the meeting tonight." maggie responded, shoving her hands inside her pockets.

     "i want to talk to everyone about what happened and what we need to do about it." deanna informed, looking between the both of us.

   "if it includes sending rick  away, it's not gonna work."

   "tell me what that means." deanna stated, shifting uneasily at maggie's words.

  "you let rick in. you let all of us in. you talked to us. you decided." maggie started, only for me to cut in.

   "now you wanna put that decision on a group of frightened people who might not have the whole story. that's not leadership." i finished, making her raise a brow.

    "what about your threats towards my son and nicolas? that's not leadership" she asked, causing me to roll my eyes.

   "i threatened your people because i knew they were gonna get someone killed. i knew it ever since i walked through that gate."

    deanna paused at my words, thinking. "well, i'll make the decision as i've done since the beginning."

   "he was frustrated. the things he's seen. the things he's lost. the things we've all lost." maggie argued, still trying to plead or make a deal with deanna.

    "the things you've lost?" deanna asked, the tone in her voice changing as she raised her eyebrows.

   i shook my head from behind maggie, "we've lost so much more." i uttered, looking from the ground to deanna.

   after i said my part, i didn't bother giving deanna the chance to speak. i turned, walking away, leaving maggie alone with the two.

   "melanie." reg and maggie called out in unison, but i didn't dare to turn.

________________________________3/13/2021