ch.29

still

   i knelt down by beth, helping her with the fire while davina collected water and daryl caught food.

     once everything was arranged, we all sat quietly around the fire, eating cooked snake daryl had brought back.

      i picked at the snake, eating around the chard and fatty pieces until that was all that was left.

     "i need a drink" beth stated, causing davina to grab a bottle out of her bag, handing the water to beth.

    "no, i mean a real drink as in alcohol." beth started, pushing the water back to davina, "i've never had one. cause of my dad but he's not exactly around anymore, so... i thought we could go find some."

   daryl continued to ignore her, while i stood up, brushing my hands against my jeans.

    "i think we should focus on finding glenn, maggie, the rest." i retorted, looking down at daryl who ignored me too.

    i scoffed, "enjoy your snake jerky"

    beth decided to join me as we walked through the woods, in search of tracks or "a drink"

      "jerk" she mumbled, once we were far enough away so he couldn't hear. walkers caught my attention, causing me to pull beth aside.

      "shhh" i uttered, holding a finger to my lips as we hid behind a tree, hoping they didn't see us.

     a twig snapped behind us, causing me to jump in freight, raising my knife in front of me, only to see daryl and davina.

     "come on, let's go find booze" he stated, earning an eye roll from me but at least it made beth happy.

    "i'm pretty sure we got to go that way to find booze." beth informed, pointing in the direction she was talking about.

     my eyebrows furrowed, hearing clanging when i took another step, realizing he had led us back to camp.

    "what the hell? you brought us back" beth started, pushing past me to see daryl, "i'm not staying in this suck-ass camp."

     i watched as she threw her middle finger up, only igniting a flame in daryl. "hey!" he sneered, grabbing her wrist to pull her back.

    "what the hell is wrong with you? do you feel anything? yeah, you think everything's screwed. i guess that's a feeling."

      i took a step in between the two, glancing at both of them, "beth, i-" before she could finish she cut in, "i can take care of myself and i'm gonna get a damn drink"

   we watched as she took off, causing me to hesitate before grabbing my knife out. "if you think i'm leaving beth out there alone, you're out of your damn minds."

    with that, i took off in her direction with davina at my side, soon daryl joining us too. ______________

   "golfers like to booze it up, right?" she questioned, causing me to shrug, only wanting to look for glenn and the others.

    "come on" she mumbled, leading us to an abandoned country club building. we slowly stepped inside, carefully checking for any walkers.

i cringed, seeing walkers that hung from the ceiling, "i guess they opted out" i mumbled, shining a flash light towards them.

walkers from outside started to bang on the door, causing us to move to a different part of the building.

"come on" daryl muttered, slamming the doors behind us. i followed beth, hanging a bit behind her as i searched the place.

i could soon hear grunts and groans, causing worry to flood through my body as i bolted to where the noise was coming from.

my eyes widened, seeing beth struggle against a walkers efforts, making me step towards them, only to be stopped by daryl.

i sent him a concerned look, watching as he shook his head no. we watched until beth found an opening, shoving her knife deep into its skull.

she looked to us, struggling to catch her breath, "thanks for the help"

"you said you could take care of yourself. you did" daryl retorted, soon leading us down a flight of steps and into what looked like a gift shop.

my eyes fell upon a women, strung up on a mannequin, dressed in expensive clothing and a sign that said, "rich bitch"

i moved to it, along with beth, trying to take it down. when our efforts failed, we looked to daryl, "help us take it her down"

daryl shrugged, "it doesn't matter. she's dead.

"it does matter" davina reasoned, standing up from where she was sitting, grabbing a sheet.

"here" she mumbled, draping the sheet over the women's body. i sent her a small smile before moving onto the next room.

a clock chimed causing walkers from throughout the building to follow the sound. "move"

i nodded, pushing beth and davina in front of me, while daryl and i covered the back. i groaned, running to a walker, soon shoving my knife deep into its skull.

once they were all gone, my eyes shifted to beth, seeing her freshly yellow shirt now covered in blood.

"sorry" i uttered, causing her to shake her head as she moved on, heading to where the bar was.

"we made it" she started, turning away from the bar to us, "i know you guys think this is stupid. and it probably is but i don't care."

i shurgged, glancing at the others before pushing past her, heading behind the bar. "let's drink then"

she smiled, nodding as she moved to where i was, helping me locate some kind of alcohol. "here, peach schnapps. is it good?"

"no" me and daryl sneered in unison, causing us both to send glances towards each other.

"well, it's the only thing left." she started, searching for a glass, getting frustrated when she couldn't find one, "who needs a glass?"

i watched her place her hands on the bottle, hesitating to pick it up as she stared down at it. she caught me by surprise, seeing tears fall down her eyes.

daryl turned his attention away from playing darts, giving me an unsure look on what to do.

i hesitated before walking around the bar, grabbing the bottle of peach schnapps, throwing it on the floor.

beth and davina flinched as the bottle hit the floor, hearing the glass shatter. daryl moved by side, looking to beth.

"ain't gonna have your first drink be no damned peach schnapps. come on."

beth looked to me before standing, interlocking her fingers with mine as she led me out. my sister sent me a smile before following.______________

"found this place with michonne" daryl stated, pointing to trailer that was close by.

"i was expecting a liquor store" beth mumbled, causing daryl to shake his head, "no, this is better"

we walked to a small shed close to the trailer, watching as daryl went in coming out with a crate.

"what's that?" beth questioned, letting daryl hand her the crate, "moonshine" davina replied, grabbing one of the mason jars.

daryl nodded, pushing past us, "come on"

we entered the trailer, taking a seat as daryl prepared beth her first ever drink. "that's a real first drink right there"

beth skeptically looked down at the cup, unsure if she should take a drink or not.

"what's the matter?" i questioned, causing her to shake her head, "nothing. it's just... my dad said bad moonshine can make you go blind"

daryl scoffed, "ain't nothing worth seeing out there anymore anyway."

beth paused after his words before hesitantly moving the glass to her mouth, taking a sip.

she cringed in disgust, making me chuckle at her facial expression, "that's the most disgusting thing i've ever tasted."

i smiled, watching her and davina both sip on their glasses, "do you want some?"

i looked up to daryl, shaking my head, "someone needs to be sobered up, right?"

"so what, you're like our chaperone's now?" beth questioned, glancing between the two of us.

"just drink lots of water" daryl retorted, stepping away from us, "yes, mr.dixon"

a growling noise from outside caught our attention, causing me to stand up, moving to look out the window.

"it's just one of em" daryl assured, earning a nod as i stepped back away from the window.

"should we get it?" davina asked, looking between me and daryl, "if he keeps making too much noise, yeah"

beth turned away, grabbing two mason jars out of the crate, soon turning back to us. "well if we're gonna be trapped again we might as well make the best of it"

i crossed my arms over my chest, giving daryl an unsure look. "unless you guys are too busy chaperoning, mrs. rhee and mr.dixon"

i finally gave in, sighing as i moved towards the two girl, grabbing one of the mason jars before taking a seat.

"hell, might as well make the best of it" daryl muttered, taking a seat next to me.

we all went silent for a bit, sipping on our moonshine as we contemplated life. beth being the first one to break the silence.

"let's play a game." she started, earning hesitant nods from us, "so first i say something i've never done, and if you have done it you drink and if you haven't, i drink"

i shrugged, "seems easy enough, you first"

beth nodded, "i've never shot a crossbow"

me, davina, and daryl raised our glasses, earning a confused look from beth, "you two shot a crossbow before?"

me and davina nodded, sending smiles to each other, "our sister was a bow expert, we would join her for practice every now and then."

beth sent us a sad look before changing the subject, "okay, daryl, your turn."

he paused, thinking about what to say, "um, i've never been out of georgia."

"really? okay, good one" beth stated, raising her glass to her mouth, along with davina. while me and daryl, watched them.

"i'll go" davina started, leaning forward to set her drink down, "i've never been drunk and did something i regretted."

me and daryl both took a drink of our moonshine while the other two watched, sending us both smiles.

"melanie, your turn." beth informed, causing me to shake my head, "go on, i like being the one who gets asked the questions"

she shrugged, taking a moment to think of a question, "i've never been in jail. i mean as a prisoner"

"is that what you think of me?" daryl questioned after a long pause, looking to beth.

i furrowed my brows, looking at him, "daryl, i don't think she meant anything serious"

daryl scoffed, standing up, "i'm gonna take a piss"

beth sent me an unsure look, causing me to place my head in my hands. i jumped a little, hearing glass shatter against the floor.

"you have to be quiet." davina mumbled, looking to where daryl stood, "can't hear you! i'm taking a piss!"

"daryl, don't talk so loud." beth warned, also looking in his direction, "what, are you guys my chaperone now?"

my eyes shot to his as he turned around, shaking my head for him not to do anything he would regret.

"oh, wait. it's my turn, right?" daryl started, buckling his belt as he walked towards us, "i've never eaten frozen yogurt. never had a pet pony. never got nothing from santa claus. never relied on anyone for protection before."

i stood up, moving to where he was, "daryl-"     before i could go on, he cut me off, "never sung out in front of a group like everything was fun. i sure as hell never cut my wrist looking for attention."

"daryl, that's enough." i scolded, pushing him back. soon the growling sound became even louder, igniting daryls flames.

"sounds like our friend is out there trying to call all of his buddies. hey, you never shot a crossbow before? i'm gonna teach you right now."

i stepped in between the two, only to be shoved out of the way, soon watching him grab up beth by her hand.

me and davina glanced to each other before storming out of the trailer, following daryl to where ever he was taking beth.

"dumbass. come here, dumbass." daryl muttered, firing his crossbow at the walker, pinning it up against the tree.

"let's just practice later" beth pleaded, causing daryl to shake his head, preparing his crossbow, "come on, it's fun"

"let's pull these out. get a little more target practice."

before he could reach the walker, i stormed past him, grabbing my knife from my holster before piercing its brain.

"what the hell you do that for? i was having fun" daryl sneered, turning towards me and beth.

"no, you were being a jackass" davina retorted from the side, earning a dirty look from daryl.

"killing them is not supposed to be fun." i stated, looking at him intensely, showing him that i was down with his attitude that's been the same ever since we left the prison.

"what do you want from me, girl, huh?" daryl asked, getting up into my face. beth stepped between us, pushing him back.

"we want you to stop acting like you don't give a crap about anything. like nothing we went through matters. like none of the people we lost meant anything to you." beth stated, also getting frustrated.

"is that what you think?" daryl questioned, glancing between the two of us, "that's what i know."

"you don't know, nothing."

"i know you look at me and just see another dead girl. i'm not michonne. i'm not carol. i'm not melanie." beth started, causing me to look down, hearing the mention of my name, "i've survived and you don't get it cause i'm not like you or them"

we all paused, glancing around, surprised at each other's reactions. beth broke the silence, once again.

"i remember when that little girl came out of the barn after my mom" beth started, looking between me and daryl, "you guys were like me."

my mind flooded with memories of sophia, causing only pain as i continued to listen to beth.

"your whole families gone, all you can do is just go out looking for a hooch like some dumb college bitch."

"screw you. you don't get it" beth stated, furrowing her eyebrows.

"no, you don't get it! everyone we know is dead!" daryl yelled, causing me to step in, now infuriated by his words.

"you don't fucking know that!" i sneered, earning an eye roll as he got closer.

"might as well be, cause you ain't never gonna see them again. rick, you ain't ever gonna see glenn again."

________________________________3/4/2021