ch.24

   i aint a judas

   we all gathered inside the prison, discussing our next moves. i stood beside glenn and daryl, who had returned with his brother.

    "field's filled with walkers, didn't see any snipers out there, but we'll keep maggie and melanie on watch." we all nodded in response to ricks words.

   "we can't access the field without burning through our bullets." hershel stated, glancing between the six of us that gathered.

   "so we're trapped in here. there's barley any food or ammo."

   "been here before. we'll be all right." daryl assured, causing glenn to shake his head, "that's when it was just us. before there was a snake in the nest."

    i knitted my brows, pulling his arm so he would back away from daryl. "glenn, don't..."

   "look merles staying here. he's with us now. get used to it, all y'all."

   i watched as daryl stormed away, putting my hand over my mouth, unsure how to mend this group.

   "seriously, rick, i don't think merle living here is really gonna fly. we wouldn't ask you to live with shane after he tried to kill you."

      rick glanced between the two of us, staying silent from glenns comment. "merle may be erratic, but don't underestimate his loyalty to his brother"

   "what if we solve both problems at once? deliver merle to the governor. bargaining chip." glenn started, causing all of us to turn to him, "give him his trader, maybe declare truth."

   i sighed, stepping out of the room, walking towards where hershel had went a couple minutes ago.

   he was in the room with merle, causing me to hesitate as i leaned against the doorway, still not sure of his intentions.

   "...when the governor returns, he's gonna kill me first." i now stepped fully into the room, sitting down next to hershel, intrigued by the conversation.

   "michonne, melanie, my brother, and then your girls." merle mumbled, pointing to hershel after his last words.

    "glenn, carl, the baby, whoever else is left. he'll save rick for last so he can watch his family and friends die ugly. that's who you're dealing with"

"not that i would want a peace treaty after what he did, but why wouldn't he try and work things out with us instead of starting a war?"

    i  was still pissed at merle for torturing me and glenn but he was the only one who could give us all answers.

"he gets what he wants, and he doesn't like sharing." merle replied, looking at me as i continued thinking about that night and what they did.

i stood up, not able to take anymore of merle as i walked out of the room.

    my mind tried to think of something else, other than the governors plan for my death.

just as i walked into the cell block, a group of the others started running towards me, causing me to run along with them.

    "what's going on?" i asked, pulling my gun from my belt loop in the process. "it's andrea, she's here." ____________

    as we ran outside, i focused on calming myself down, preparing myself to face her after everything we had witnessed.

    "are you alone?" rick asked, while we watched her make her way up the hill. "open the gate!"

    "rick!" she yelled, causing me and daryls eyes to turn towards rick who gave us a nod, throwing me the keys.

   i unlocked the gate, letting merle pull it open as i backed up, raising my gun.

   "hands up, turn around!" rick warned, pushing andrea against the fence, face first, checking her for any weapons.

   he soon pulled her off the fence, shoving her to her knees. "i asked if you were alone."

    "i am" she breathed out, causing me to lower my gun. me and michonne stared at her, unsure what to believe or do.

    "welcome back, get up." rick stated, grabbing her up to her feet, leading her into the prison. we all followed close behind, making sure she didn't try anything shady.

   i stood next to glenn as we watched her engulf carol into a hug. her eyes moved to mine as she pulled away, causing me to look down in disappointment.

    "i can't believe this. where's shane? and lori?" she asked, watching as rick shook his head no.

    "melanie delivered a girl, but lori didn't survive" hershel informed, my mind flashing with memories of that day.

     "neither did tdog" maggie chimed in, causing her head to glance between the group, "i'm sorry."

    glenn moved to my side, rubbing my back for comfort. i gave him a small smile, showing i was okay.

    "you all live here?"

    "here in the cell block" glenn replied as we watched her head turn in our direction, "there?"

    she pointed to where the cell block door was, earning a nod. "well can i go in?"

    rick quickly shut down the idea, stepping in front of her, "i won't allow that. we had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up."

    andrea shook her head, "he said you fired first."

    i scoffed, crossing my arms over my chest, "well, he's lying."

    "he killed an inmate who survived in here." hershel chimed in, earning a nod from daryl, "we liked him. he was one of us."

    "i didn't know anything about that. as soon as i found out i came." she started, soon turning in my direction again, "i didn't even know you guys were in woodbury until after the shootout"

     "that was days ago" glenn remarked, giving her a smug look, i could tell he was getting pissed by the tone of his voice.

   "i don't get it. i left atlanta with you people and now i'm the odd man out?" she asked, i scoffed at her words making her turn in my direction.

   "he almost killed michonne and he would have killed us." glenn stated, trying to get the point across.

"with his finger on the trigger. isn't he the one who kidnapped you? who beat you?" she asked, pointing in merles direction.

   "and aren't you the one who stood there watching daryl and merle fight to the death?" i started, now becoming fed up, "while i was being grabbed by your friend martinez?"

   she held her hands up to her face, "look, i cannot excuse or explain what philip has done. but i am here trying to bring us together, we have to work this out."

"there's nothing to work out. we're gonna kill him." rick started, stepping closer to her, "i don't know how or when, but we will."

  "we- we can settle this. there is room for woodbury for all of you." she assured, turning in a circle to glance at everyone.

   "what makes you think this man wants to negotiate? did he say that?" i asked, making her turn to me again.  "no"

   "then why did you come here?" rick questioned, us all nodding in agreement.

   "because he's gearing up for war, all the people are scared. they see you as killers."

   "i'll tell you what, next time you see philip. you tell him i'm gonna take his other eye, if not for me than for her" daryl warned, looking in my direction, "for all of us."

     i sent him a small smile, thanking him. "we've taken too much shit for too long. he wants a war? he's got one." glenn stated, never taking his eyes off andrea.

"look at you, you've lost so much already. you can't stand alone anymore." she muttered, causing me to roll my eyes.

"you want to help? get us inside." i insisted, getting pissed she was trying to make us side with someone who'd taken so much from us already.

"no" she declined, giving me a dirty look. before i could say anything else rick stepped in, "then we've got nothing to talk about."

my eyes watched rick leave the room, leaving andrea speechless.

i walked over to maggie, gently grabbing the gun she was holding, "i have guard duty." i told informed, giving andrea one last look.

i shook my head, remembering the person she used to be at the farm and only seeing the person she's turned into. ____________

   i watched andrea from the bridge, she looked up at me, with sorry eyes before looking back at the group, "well, take care."

    she had closed her door, and before she could turn the key rick stepped up to her car, handing her a pocket knife and a gun.

    "be careful." he mumbled before backing up, she looked up at him and nodded, "you too"

   my eyes watched as she sped out of the place, hershel joining me by my side as we watched the car.

   he placed his hand on my shoulder, nodding his head, "we'll be just fine."

   "we always are." i uttered, giving him a smile before turning my attention back to the courtyard. ____________

i sat uneasily on the cafeteria step, fiddling with my fingers. waiting for rick, hershel, and daryl to return from meeting with the governor.

rick had decided to see andreas plan out, hoping to find a way out of a war. which made no sense to me, but i didn't have a say.

i had offered to go, i wanted to go but rick said no. so i stayed back with glenn, which made him somewhat happy.

i watched as everyone loaded the weapons we had gathered, gearing up for the fight i knew was bound to happen.

glenn entered from the door behind me, sending me a quick smile as he walked in. his eyes shot to merle packing a bag full of guns.

"hey, you're not going." glenn stated, closing the door behind him as his eyes stayed on merle.

"i don't need permission." merle shot back, continuing to pack the bag.

"i can't let you." glenn mumbled, not trying to cause a fight.

"you can't stop me" merle spat causing me to roll my eyes, "if you're gonna live here with us, it's gonna be on our terms."

i watched as he ignored my words, picking up the bag and turning to head towards the door.

"if michonne can do it, why can't you?" i yelled in his direction, causing him to turn back and look at me.

"cause it's my brother out there, that's why. what's the matter with y'all?" he questioned, while michonne joined my side, sending him a look that could kill.

he walked up the steps, stopping when he got to glenn.

"i'm not gonna let you put them in danger." glenn sneered, getting in merles face. showing he wasn't gonna back down.

"nut up already, boy. this guy cops a feel of your woman and you pussy out like this?" merle started, his words causing my blood to boil, "get out of my way."

"no" glenn gritted through his teeth, causing merle to fume, "get out of my way!"

i watched as merle pushed glenn to the side, while i tried to step forward, only to be stopped by michonne who shook her head at me.

glenn grabbed merles waist tackling him, down the stairs. i ran over to merle despite michonnes warning.

merle had glenn pinned to the ground, with a knife in his hand. "get off of him!" i yelled, snaking my arms around his neck, holding him in a choke hold.

michonne and maggie ran to my side grabbing merles arm, now helping me out. but before we could do any damage, a gunshot rang through the air.

our heads quickly turned in the direction of the gunshot, seeing beth holding a pistol above her head.

"let me go! let me go!" merle yelled, yanking us off of himself. i released him, backing up as i rolled my eyes, "jackass"

i walked away, grabbing my gun that leaned against the wall. "i have guard duty." __________

my eyes watched over the prison, seeing the walkers roam freely in the yard, only pissing me off.

a door beside me swung open, causing me to turn in that direction, soon seeing glenn.

"hey" he greeted, walking up beside me, "hey" i mumbled, turning my attention back to the walkers.

"i came to keep you company." he muttered, earning a nod from me, unsure what to say to him, considering we haven't really talked since the incident.

    "that was a hell of a choke hold." glenn commented, causing me to chuckle, "i should have put him to sleep."

he grinned before going silent for a moment, soon turning to face me, "when we got back from woodbury... i made it all about me."

my eyes moved from the walkers to where he stood, listening to him talk.

"you needed your space and i didn't give you that." he finished, causing me to shake my head.

"i didn't need my space from you. honestly, i hate any space that's ever between us." i started, grabbing his hand in mine, "i just wanted you to see me."

i paused, looking down to where my hand held his, "i'm with you. i'm always with you, okay?"

glenn nodded, "i'm sorry"

"i know" i mumbled, watching as he moved closer, taking me into his embrace.

i sighed, finally feeling like i was home and safe again. "oh, god, i love you" he breathed out, "i love you"

i pulled away smiling, he soon leaned in, placing a warm kiss on my lips. our kiss got deeper as the seconds passed but he pulled away just when it was getting good.

   "wait" he mumbled, making me turn to where he was looking.

"i can't do this." he stated, looking at all the walkers who were behind us watching. i chuckled, pulling him away from the cat walk.

"come here. come here." i whispered, dragging him into the garage, pulling the door down behind me.

   he must've known what i was gonna do because he quickly pulled his flannel off, pinning me up against the wall, trailing kisses down my neck.

   i tugged at the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his head. soon both of our tops were off. laughs and moans filled the room as he pulled me to the ground.

________________________________3/13/2021