Chapter 10 - Starting Over

Damon POV 2/7 9:30pm-2:00am

My eyes fly open and the first thing I see is a group of people standing away from me. A few moments pass in total stillness as we all register what is happening. My mind struggles to put names to the faces before me, but I can’t. I see a girl with dark hair who reminds me of someone from the past I can remember. Katherine? But as the beautiful girl with long chocolate locks sprints towards me, I see the tears in her eyes and I realize who she is. She is the girl I love, the girl I would do anything for. My other half, Elena Gilbert.      “Elena,” I call to her with a smile as she jumps in my arms and wraps her legs around my waist. I fly back at first, not prepared for her attack, but I hesitate for only a second before I pull my arms tight around her waist, trying to envelope her completely and hold her as close as possible. She buries her face on my shoulder as I feel her hot tears soak through my shirt. I stroke my fingers through her hair, trying to calm her down. Does Elena love me? The last I remember is her crying over my brother being gone with Klaus, how much do I not remember? Elena pulls away swiftly, breaking me from my thoughts. I look at her questioningly, wondering what has her so scared.       “Are, are you human?” Her eyes are wide in worry and her voice cracks as she tries to spit out the words. Am I? I think hard and notice the lack of craving for blood and rather the yearning for sleep and food. The light of the house seems less bright and the color of Elena’s eyes is less vivid, but not any less beautiful. “You’re… not a vampire. Wha-“ Insight slowly descends upon her as she shakes. I hate seeing her in distress so I pull her closer and cup her face gently, stroking her cheek gently with my thumb. She stutters as she continues to try to make sense of the situation, “How is that? How is that even possible.” Something flashes in my mind and I remember that Elena is a vampire. The memory of her waking up in her room with Stefan and I flashes by, and although I can’t remember how it happened, it seems that a hole in my memory has been filled in. I see Bonnie slowly approach Elena as if trying not to spook an animal.      “We knew this might happen, but it was only a small chance and there was no other way to bring him back,” Bring me back. Back from what? Bonnie explains what had happened and what she and Shane had done but I am still caught up on the fact that I was dead. I was dead and they brought me back. She continues on about this being a side effect and another one that they were more worried about, “It’s possible too that he…” she falls silent until Elena turns to face her, waiting for a response, “It’s possible that he will have memory loss. Or not remember anything at all.” Elena turns on her heel towards me and scrutinizes every part of my demeanor and I can tell she’s panicked to see if I remember everything. I try to appear neutral, but I can’t let her know that it’s true. I don’t remember anything after her birthday. It scares me and I know that it will only terrify her. My brother walks around Elena and puts his hand on my shoulder.      “Damon?”  He stares at me with the same surveying look as Elena. He’s back? How did he get away from Klaus and when? Are Elena and him still together? If they are though, why was Elena so attached to me a few minutes earlier? All of these thoughts race through my head, but at this time, it doesn’t matter. All that matters at this moment is that my brother is here. I smile and pull him into a hug, patting him on the back as he pulls me closer.      “I missed you, brother.” I laugh and hold him out at arm’s length, both of my hands placed on his shoulders. I see a tear roll down my little brother’s face and I’m happy he pulls me back in for a hug or else I was afraid I might begin to cry too.      “Of all the times I’ve wanted you dead, I never knew how much I’d miss having my big brother,” he whispers and slowly pulls away as Caroline pats him on the back. Of all people, Caroline steps up to me with a smile. Last I remember she hated me, but I’m surprised I remember her at all.      “Hey. Welcome back,” she says happily and I can’t hold back a smirk. Suddenly, Elena steps in front of them and hold my face in her hands, directing it towards her determined face.      “Hey, I need to know. Do you remember us?” She examines my face, searching for her answer and I answer her half-truthfully with a smile on my face and a twirl of her hair.      “How could I forget my little brother, the witch that has saved us more times than I can count, Vampire Barbie, and the girl that I love?” That is honestly all I can remember, but it seems to be enough to convince her because she smiles as I meet her eyes. My eyes shift and see Matt and Jeremy and I acknowledge them as well in a louder voice so they can hear me, “And of course little Gilbert and the quarterback.” I walk past Elena and see the other two and, to my surprise, Jeremy opens his arms for a hug. Elena laughs and I can’t help but be puzzled by it as well. Do people not hate me as much as I remember? We walk back and I drape my arm over his shoulder, ruffling his hair. Jeremy simply laughs and pushes me away as we make our way back to the group. When we walk back towards the group, I see the picnic table and suddenly I am reliving Jeremy’s training to become a Hunter. Then all the information of being a hunter floods back into my head like a chain reaction, like the encounter with Vaughn and Elena begging me to stop. My head reels with all of the memories flooding back in, but not filling all of the holes.

I make my way back to Elena and Stefan when I realize something. Elena is a vampire and she is sired to me. Another memory flashes back when I see Stefan’s face, the face that he has when he knows something dreadful. The same face when he told me Elena was sired to me. My mind flashes back to Stefan and I sitting across from each other in the boarding house when he told me. Another piece of the puzzle of my recollection is put in place as I walk towards Elena. I was dead, does that mean the sire bond is broken? I try to think of a way to test it and I guess I take her by surprise.      “Punch Matt in t he face,” I assert. She shakes her head no as Matt steps back defensively, so I continue, “Elena, I need you to punch Matt.”       “What? No, Damon. I’m not punching Matt in the face.” She gives me a look implying that I am an idiot for even suggesting it. A smirk slides across my face, only adding to her confusion.      “That’s my girl.” I smile and draw her in for a hug. She seems tense at first, but relaxes as she figures out what I was doing. She pushes me away abruptly and holds me at arm’s length.      “It’s broken! The sire bond is broken.” She exclaims with excitement and I back away with a nod.      “Took you long enough, ‘Lena! I’m pretty sure you worried Matt a little.” I nod towards Matt with a wink and laugh quietly. He still seems a little tense, but he matches my laughter.      “Well, let’s go inside. It’s getting late.” Stefan laughs and we all follow him into the lakehouse. We get inside and all get comfortable. Matt sits on the couch as Jer flies over the back of the couch on top of him. Stefan makes an offhand comment and sits down next to Matt, placing little Gilbert’s legs on his lap. Caroline and Elena sit on the loveseat with Bonnie on the floor in front of them, leaving me to find a spot somewhere around the room. The room is calm as they all keep up a lighthearted conversation, talking about things that I don’t know about. I finally walk over and take a seat on the arm of the loveseat, trying to subtly get as close to Elena as I can. I guess it wasn’t all too subtle, because Elena shyly looks up to meet my eyes with a smile, biting her lip. Caroline and Matt playfully argue about her being high-maintenance or something and Elena gets pulled into the conversation shortly after a pillow is thrown across the room. I tune out most of the conversation, not being able to take my eyes off of Elena’s flawless beauty. The way she smiles and tosses her hair over her shoulder or brushes it behind her ear makes a smile sneak onto my face. I notice Bonnie raise her eyebrow at me for staring at Elena and so I try to snap out of it. I jump up and head into the kitchen.      “Well I’m going to make something to eat.” I state as I make my way around the couch. Jeremy props himself up on the back of it and yells across the room.      “Hey, want to make me a sandwich?” He calls to me, with a hint of sarcasm to his voice, knowing what my answer would be. Rather than giving him an actual answer, though, I flip him the bird and continue onto the food. I hear them laugh as Jer get up and join me behind the island, making his own sandwich.

Hours go by, and after all of the talking and laughing, I find myself falling asleep.      “Hey, sleepyhead!” Elena yells quietly in my ear, causing me to jump up with a start. I sleepily observe the room, taking in the rest of the group. I have somehow ended up on the loveseat, sleeping on Elena’s arm. Matt, Caroline, and Bonnie are drinking and Jeremy is already asleep. Stefan sits on the couch a few feet over with a smile on his face, obviously enjoying my struggle with basic human needs such as sleep. “Not used to actually needing sleep rather than just enjoying it?” Elena giggles. I roll my eyes and lie on her shoulder, purposefully shoving her down into the couch. “Thanks,” she mumbles sarcastically, her face buried in the couch. I laugh and release her, leaning on the other side of the loveseat and closing my eyes. I feel the weight on the other side of the seat disappear as Elena gets up and suggests an idea, “How about we get some sleep, everyone seems pretty tired so we can stay here. Stefan can stay in Jeremy’s old room, Matt can stay in the guest room, Bonnie and Care can stay in our parent’s old room, the sleepy one over here can stay where he’s been, and Jer and I will stay out here to keep an eye on things.” No one seems to disapprove the idea, and I’m in no position to either, I can barely keep my eyes open now.      “Alright, let’s get you two to bed,” Bonnie laughs and helps lift Matt and Caroline up, leading them down the hall to their respective rooms. Meanwhile, Stefan sets his glass down and comes over to me, offering his hand. I roll my eyes and with a pat on the back, he helps me up and we head down the hall with my brother’s arm on my shoulder. But before I get down the corridor, I look over my shoulder one last time at Elena and smile.

I make it to the room I had been staying in, Elena’s old room, and don’t hesitate to get to bed. I tear off my shirt, but before I can lie down, Stefan turns on the faucet in the adjoining bathroom and grabs my arm, looking intently into my eyes.       “Damon, I know you couldn’t tell Elena, but I need to know. Do you remember?” He asks the question in a serious tone, making it known that he wanted an honest answer.      “Remember what, Stefan? You and I both know there are plenty of nights I can’t remember,” I dodge the question with a wink, but he does not look amused. I sigh deeply and avoid eye contact. If there is anyone I can trust, it’s my baby brother, and so I fess up. “I can’t remember anything since you left with Klaus. Elena’s birthday is the last thing I remember.” Stefan’s eyes widen in shock and he processes this new bit of information. “It’s almost as if there are holes in my memory though, and the memories are triggered by the senses. Like when I saw Elena’s fangs, I knew that she was a vampire, my mind flashed back to when Elena was turned and I remembered that she was,” I look down with a deep breath, "sired to me. And when I saw the look on your face when you were worried I couldn’t remember anything, it was the same face you had when you had to tell that she was sired to me.” Stefan remains silent, either not knowing what to say or choosing not to say anything. He opens his mouth to finally speak, but I cut him off, “If you tell me things that happened, I am skeptical, but if the memory is evoked, it is as if I am reliving that memory. Stefan, you can’t tell Elena.” I look at him with pleading eyes and he nods, a silent agreement to abide my wish.      “Alright,” He says silently, “We’ll fix this when we get back. Without Elena knowing.” He pulls me into a hug before heading to his own room down the hall, leaving me with my broken memory. With a huff of irritation, I throw my jeans on the floor and plop on the bed, burying my face in my hands as if trying to push back all the memories. I stare at the ceiling for a few minutes before I fall into a deep sleep.