Authors Note

GREETINGS MY FILTHY LITTLE GEOPOLITICAL WET DREAMS 🔥🔥

THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

PLEASE LISTEN TO ME. I don't have much time. The walls are closing in. I write to you from the wreckage of my sanity, clutching a bloodied Soviet flag in one hand and the tattered remains of all of Western civilization in the other.

So, sit down. Drop to your knees like you're pledging allegiance to a regime you just know will collapse into flames. Bleed a little if you must. 

 I have some terrible news...

This story is going on hiatus. 

WHY? 

Because the Ministry of Education has kicked down my door and dragged me into the blood-drenched trenches of A LEVEL EXAMS. And if I don't pass...I will be academically executed and my corpse will be displayed at the gates of my Sixth Form as a warning to others - and not in a fun, consensual way.

Baby wait...

Pause your screams, my little dissident...

THIS IS NOT GOODBYE.

THIS IS A BLOODY, TEAR-STAINED PROMISE.

THIS IS A STRATEGIC WITHDRAWAL.

THIS IS... FOREPLAY.

I will return.

I must return.

In ONE MONTH.

ONE MONTH. Mark it on your calendars, tattoo it into your flesh, carve it into the walls of your padded cell - because I will be back...

ONE MONTH for me to be tortured, broken, reforged into something even filthier. And when I come back, I will rip history apart with my teeth and spit chapters so spiritually depraved into your hungry throat that you'll be pounded in the no-man's-land between historical fact and absolute depravity.

UNTIL THEN:

Keep a loaded pistol (or a vibrator) under your pillow.

Sleep with with a copy of Mein Kampf and The Communist Manifesto pressed between your thighs for...strength.

Pray to Jesus (but only if He's into it)

Don't forget me...

ONE MONTH. HOLD THE LINE. KEEP YOUR FLAGS RAISED.

I'M COMING BACK FOR YOU xxx