chapter 17 - with a cup of tea

"So now you are going to just sit down and talk?" asked Klee with puffed cheeks. "How boring"

"Sis, I just need to catch up with my friend, I haven't seen him for a while" I smiled at her.

"And what Klee supposed to do in the meantime?" she folded her arms. It was adorable.

"Look, Klee" Kaveh walked to a shelf and grabbed some booklets. "Do you like coloring books?" he handed them to her.

"Yaay, I do!" she exclaimed, accepting them. Kaveh also gave her a ton of colored pencils. Klee sat down by the coffee table and went through the pages to find a print she likes.

"Why do you have coloring books?" I raised my eyebrow at him. Small redness appeared on his cheeks.

"They are... relaxing" he shrugged.

I shook my head with a little laugh. Why am I even surprised?

We went to the kitchen, Kaveh closed the door behind us. I sat at the dining table.

"Tea or coffee?" he asked, turning to the counter.

"Tea" I answered. Kaveh started to prepare the drinks quietly, then he joined me at the table.

"Thank you" I said as I wrapped my hands around the cup.

"Now then" he started. "What happened since you left the Akademiya and why do I hear from someone else, that you resigned from you researcher position?"

I sighed. "Can't we talk about you first?"

"I am designing a new fancy building. It will be awesome. Your turn" he smirked.

I sighed once again. "Nothing fancy, actually" I shrugged. "I resigned, but I will still do researcher work from time to time, I need money you know"

"Then why did you resigned in the first place?" he questioned.

I looked at my cup, staring at the liquid in it. "I feel like I need to find a purpose, and I realized it is not being a researcher. I don't want to be known as Alice's daughter or the Spark knight's sister. I need to find my path"

"Oh, Tessa" he looked at me softly. "You will likely outlive all of us, you have plenty of time to figure it out"

"I know" I nodded. "But... honestly... it just felt suffocating in Mondstadt for a while now. I needed a purpose. Even if finding a purpose is my purpose now"

"And what felt so suffocating? Reuniting with your crimson-haired prince didn't go as you expected?" he sipped his tea like he was expecting some drama. What a great friend he is...

"Okay, then there's a quick recap" I started. "I went home, we started getting closer, I was frequent at the tavern. We were even dancing on the night of the Favonius Ball, alone, at Angel's share. Then, I came here to submit my thesis, then I went back. A celebration was held, where I heard him conversing with Jean and I totally misunderstood the situation, but anyway, he clearly stated that he doesn't think we will ever get close again. My heart obviously broke, so I slept with Kaeya who..."

"Wait, WHAT?!" Kaveh interrupted. "How? Why?"

"I was about to tell you that" I rolled my eyes.

He sipped his tea. "Was it good though?" I hit his arm at this question. "Okay, sorry, sorry please continue"

"So yeah, he was there and we slept together, then the next day I confessed my feelings to Diluc, but ran away because I expected a rejection..."

"Classic Tessa" he interrupted once again. I was staring at him disappointedly.

"Okay, sorry, I swear I will not interrupt you again" he raised his arms surrenderingly.

"So, I confessed, then I ran into Kaeya, we basically decided to remain just friends and it has been going pretty well. Then I tried to avoid Diluc at any cost, who sent me a very sweet present for my birthday, then I decided to face him and he literally just bullshitted about he's not good enough for me right now even though we were holding hands there and hugging and all these stuff" I let out a big breath once I finished telling all. Kaveh seemed to be deep in his thoughts.

"You want to hear my honest opinion, Tessa?" he asked eventually.

I rolled my eyes. "I consider you one of my closest friends, Kaveh" I stated. "Please, do tell me what you think"

He elbowed the table, looking deeply in my eyes.

"That guy is just too much trouble, Tessa" he stated. "But I don't think he said that he's not good enough for you just to comfort you. Considering all the things you've told me about him, I don't think he is a liar. You really should forget about him"

"I know" I bit my lower lip.

"But" he added. "I know you won't. I've seen you desperately trying to find someone else to love. You've gone out with great people and with... very questionable ones. You still couldn't find anyone. I don't think you will ever get over him"

"Thanks, I guess" I chuckled bitterly. He extended his right arm to grab mine.

"Time will tell, Tessa" he smiled. "I am wrong more times than right. Just... try to find distractions. So far, you are doing well, but you should stop running away once a difficult situation comes up" he grinned kindly.

I stood up to put my cup on the counter. I know he was right, I had the same thoughts he just told me. But it is always easier to say than to do.

I hugged him from the back, giving a small peck on his cheek. "Thank you, Kaveh, you are a great friend"

"I know" he shrugged.

"Would come with us tonight to the Grand Bazaar?" I asked as I let go of him. "The Zubayr Theater will have a performance"

"Sounds good" he nodded.

We continued to talk for a while about lighter topics. He showed me the visual design of his new building, he complained about Alhaitham, he filled me in about the happenings in Sumeru  and we had also some time for a little gossiping.

Klee interrupted our chatting.

"Look, big sis, I finished coloring" she brought the coloring book to us, explaining the picture.

"Can we go somewhere now, big sis?" she asked. "Mr. Kaveh, you should come too" she clapped her hands together.

We ended up exploring the city together, having dinner and then we watched the performance of the Zubayr Theater. Klee really enjoyed the show, she said she wants to learn to dance like that girl in the play.

We were really tired when we arrived home, while I was laying in bed, I was thinking about the things Kaveh said.

It was the middle of November now. We were traveling with Klee enough. I have to face my problems, once in my life and move forward. Why not? Klee wanted to see the desert, two more weeks and maybe we will head home after that.

I will control my own fate from now on.